Learning new situations

[amberh22 3]

So following on from my post where I said I was really unsure about involvement of another woman with my husband 

Our swinging situation began when he desired seeing me with another man, I made it clear I was unsure how I would cope should another woman approach him.

He also desires to see me with a woman which I'm also very unsure of too however at the club this week I kissed, touched and was licked by another woman which he loved 

I didn't hate it but didn't love it

As relatively new to swinging do people advise rules or boundaries and adapt as they grow on the journey 

Advice very welcome rather than judgement 

[let's do it again 379]

Yes, set boundries and rules and stick to them! Later on, talk to your partner to see if your boundries need adjusting as you get deeper into your swinging experiences. I also suggest to " don't take one for the team". If you don't feel comfortable with a situation, don't do it. Best of luck.

[enhancer 1,542]

If you are not interested in women don’t play with them!  I am not interested in men and wouldn’t play with them just to make a partner happy.  

I think it is common for people to have rules and boundaries that they change along the way with good communication with each other.  We never really had any rules for each other, because we don’t see the point of doing it if we can’t enjoy it fully.  The only rule we do have which will never change is we only do anything with both of us there.  It is about shared experiences for us.  Not about marking notches on the bed post.

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/7/2023 at 6:23 AM, amberh22 said:

Our swinging situation began when he desired seeing me with another man, I made it clear I was unsure how I would cope should another woman approach him.

Swinging or whatever you want to call it doesn't have to be the same both ways.  If both are happy with a situation, then go with it.  As things evolve you can change, adapt, do whatever you mutually want.  Talk about your desires and fantasies, but don't push is my rule.

 

We started with my wife playing with a couple of exes without me there, just so they would be comfortable.  The fact that they were exes made me comfortable since she had fucked them before it wasn't a big deal.  I didn't do it because it was something that turned me on, it just wasn't a big deal.  From our open conversations about our pasts, I knew that my wife had a high sex drive, liked variety (is bi), and usually had two guys going at once.  Two rules were for her to give up her preference for married men.  It had a lot of advantages like being safe, grateful, and knowing that it is a limited relationship, but I didn't like it.  The second was that everyone had to know the situation - that she was married and that I knew what she was doing and approved.  She met him for dinner to confirm the desire was still there, the next week the three of us met.  The two exes didn't know about each other though.

 

After a while we evolved to having me there, then quickly doing MFMs sometimes, something neither of us had done before.  It turned us both on, Daniela more than me.  Then Daniela wanted for me to be with other women and have sex with her, so we moved on to regular swinging.  Now we're in a closed group of married couples with no rules.

 

So enjoy now what you both like, pretty much hotwifing, but keep an open mind for things that you both might want in the future.  If you're honest with each other you have nothing to fear.

[clover588 56]

On 2/7/2023 at 7:23 AM, amberh22 said:

 

Our swinging situation began when he desired seeing me with another man, I made it clear I was unsure how I would cope should another woman approach him.

He also desires to see me with a woman which I'm also very unsure of

Just keep the communication open between you and him. This is how it started with my hubby and I and I'm still not ready to share him. We had a night where he and i and our best guy friend were hanging out. Friend and I got flirty, but I was reserved because I didn't want to do anything that would hurt my hubby but we had already discussed the possibility of me having fun in front of him/with him involved, but I have went from not being able to even speak about it to actively having open conversations that I bring up without getting upset. Am I ready for it to happen? No, but he never pushes me, never asks me about another partner for him. He let's me bring it up and we discuss my reservations on it, all while letting me have my fun, and with only two trusted men that we know well. As for women, I'm still reserved on that as well for myself. I consider myself bi, but the time I went down on a woman in front of him, it was for his benefit and not for mine and that was where I went wrong. Instead of letting myself do it because I wanted to have fun, it really just turned me off on women in general because I approached the entire situation wrong. He would love for me to have a girlfriend along with my fuck buddies, even if he never got to be involved, but since its not something I'm entire ready for, he never forces the conversation. He is totally fine in the situation that we're in because it's not just me getting pleasure, he's also getting pleasure from watching me have fun and also be involved in himself. Don't ever push yourself into a situation that could make yourself get hurt just trying to make things seem "even" or just to "turn him on". It will wind up hurting you both in the end because you did something you weren't comfortable with but followed through anyways, just for his joy. If at any point it gets to be "too much" or I just say "no I don't want to" or even just my body language, it's about you both having fun. Not just one or the other. Sorry for the novel! Just wanted to give my honest opinion from my experiences. 

[SheernylonCpl 35]

We dont really have many boundaries and we sleep and f uck who we want to but still a horny couple