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My wife and I are new to the lifestyle and we have tried to do our "homework" in terms of researching and reading about the pitfalls of swinging. We have talked at length about a MFM experience, but want to start slow to see if the experience compliments the fantasy. We were thinking about starting with just asking a guy to watch us for a half hour or so; it sounds pretty straight forward. The idea was to go to a hotel, invite someone over, have them sit away from the bed and watch while masturbating, finish, then leave so we can talk about it. If we like it, and that trust is formed, we would probably want to use the same person to move forward.

Does anyone have advice for us with regard to searching for someone and/or thoughts on how realistic this is?

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You might consider joining a swinging site. Join a few for free to see which most actually in your area. I have no doubt that you can find what you are interested in. Matter of fact I would guess that your inbox will fill it pretty quickly. But no one will take you seriously unless you have a paid membership. 

Taking your time and choose carefully you want your 1st to be as much fun as possible. We recommend having a drink first (that way you don't get stuck when a whole dinner with someone who isn't the one). 

Decide if you want to play on the 1st date if you don't want to, make sure he knows that. 

Finally next you will have so  responses to your profile that you will be weeding out the ones that you are not interested in. And you will probably have a couple of dates that the handsome guy in the pic is now 12 years older and 50 lbs heavier. Don't becoming too discouraged you may just to meet a couple of frogs before you meet your prince charming.

Welcome to the board and please keep us posted!!?

 

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2 hours ago, nosretta said:

"The idea was to go to a hotel, invite someone over, have them sit away from the bed and watch while masturbating, finish, then leave so we can talk about it."

The bad news is that the vast majority of single men eager to join you for sexual games are going to want to do than watch you two have sex while they masturbate. The good news is that there are so many hopeful single guys on the swinger sites that you will find some who are willing to accept the restrictions you are (quite rightfully, as this is your scene) imposing. 
 

Given that there’s not going to be any touching between the two of you and the other guy, perhaps you should do this first via video. That’s bound to be easier — guys who want contact will tend to self-deselect.

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I think it may be difficult to find a single male who wants to watch and not touch. Would you be interested in a couple having sex next to you having sex and the two couples watch each other? I could be wrong, but that option sounds like more fun and it may be easier to find. 

Edited by njbm
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Agree with both PeterJ and njbm … you’re not likely to find a single male who’ll agree to your conditions without trying to change the rules once the clothes come off, and there are couples out there who want to only watch and be watched.

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I know there are some clubs that have a system in place. I went to one club that's policy was that if a room was in use and the occupants wanted private time, that meant they would close the door. If they wanted to put on a little show, they would have a little chain across the door. That meant the people could watch from afar. I even heard of places that had a two way mirror, or a window that could be activate to allow people to see in, or provide privacy with a switch of some sort. Perhaps a local club has a way for you to explore exhibition at a safe distance.

 

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We have a club not far from us with the chains and the wife and I went into a room put the chain up and had a nice little crowd around watching.   It was very hot something we never thought we would ever do.   That is one way to get people to watch you.

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