Advice please

[Tsa 0]

I'm 50 and starting my life over (ex cheated after 30 years), and my new boyfriend had engaged in a swingers' lifestyle in his last relationship. He enjoyed watching her be pleasured by others. He would like for us to explore and experience this together as a couple also. He isn't interested in actually being with any other women, but in watching and aiding me in having the best sexual encounters I can possibly have. We have just started discussing this. He wants to make sure I am and will be completely satisfied (something that has never happened). I am nervous about this. I've been reading up and learning about what to expect and I am very intrigued by all of this. The thought of living out fantasies I've never shared is exciting. He wants to try this soon. I'm all for trying and experiencing new things, but I guess my question is, how do I deal with the emotional impact afterwards? I spent 30 years with one man, and now I'm asked to try this new lifestyle. I have no experience with other men, but I want to try this but I am so scared. He is older and does have ED issues. I guess I just need some advice as to how to try this and what should I really expect. He wants us to go to a club, soon, very soon. Any advice? Please. 

[enhancer 1,542]

Well it is a good start if he has previous experience in this and knows how to deal with it on his part! 
 

Regardless though this is something that will have to happen at your own pace and he is going to have to give you the space to get comfortable with the idea on your own.  Your body and you are in control of it. Rushing things might not get the results either of you are looking for. 
 

If you two do decide to go to a club be sure to let him know that nothing may happen and that you are just feeling things out.  Only go further if it something you really want to do for yourself and not just him.

 

Remember this is not cheating and you are not doing anything deceitful!  This is something that can be exciting and add to your relationship together in a positive way if you want it to be.

[tbone1 77]

I will start with Congratulations!  There is no need to be nervous and no reason to be scared.  If you have found this site and are reading and learning, that is good. The "Lifestyle" can be lots of different things.  You may like to watch, or like to be watched, or want to experiment with another woman, or experience two guys, or have a foursome or a moresome, and there is kink and BDSM.  There is something for everyone.  Generally in the Lifestyle, the ladies make the rules.  One of the biggest rules is "No Means No".  You should do want you want and nothing more.  I would encourage you to check out Hedonism 2, or Hedo as many of us call it.  My wife and I have been there many times and have another trip coming up soon.  Hedo is a beautiful all-inclusive resort in Negril Jamaica.  Just about everything is included, such as all food, all alcohol, you can scuba, kayak, play games, there is a nice beach, pools, and hot tubs.  You can pay for a wonderful massage on the beach, and pay for a catamaran ride to Rick's Cafe to watch the cliff diving.  There is a Hedo Weedo dispensary if you care to buy marijuana.  There are very few rules except for "Respect" and "No Means No".  There is entertainment every night.  Hedo has a "clothing optional area" and a "nude area".  You can do what you want, sit on the prude beach in your swimming suit reading your kindle, or get naked and go the nude pool and party like a rock star.  Of course, there is sex, but there is no pressure to do anything you don't want to do.  But there is also an opportunity to satisfy any of your fantasies.  Believe it or not, the best part of Hedo is the people you meet there, many of whom become lifetime friends.  We have met people from all over the world there, and people go of all ages, all shapes, and all sizes.  If you go to the Hedonism website and click on groups, you can see the groups that are going on which weeks.  Some are more nudists, some are mostly swingers, some are younger, some are older.  Find the group that interests you, contact the group leader, ask questions, and make a reservation.  Good luck!