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Fantasyfun1977

First MFM threesome

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Hello all, This is the first time posting.

 

My wife and I have been exploring the idea of bring another man into the scene. This would strictly be a male female male threesome. I am NOT bi or curious. My wife and I have been talking a lot openly about our feeling, likes and dislikes and fantasized this in bed many times. We have come down with a game plan and hope to follow it as best as possible. She is not 100% how we both will react until the situation arrives.

 

We do not want to find a third person and jump into bed him. We are hoping to take things slow and make this long term. Do these steps even happen with others. If all goes well things could accelerate but if not we prefer step by step, kissing, touch, masturbating/dry humping etc...

 

Any suggestions from people who were looking for a third person and the steps you took or if you were that third person how couples took steps with you. We both understand there is so much more to the scenario and things that we can't predict.

 

Thanks

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If you are comfortable with the guy, and have your hard limits established, then let things develop as they will. Do not over choreograph it. This is a dance which varies with the people.

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9 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

Then start looking on one of the swinger websites

I agree with everything GoldCoCouple said except the above.  We did well starting with people who we already knew, a couple of exes for my wife to start, then friends and acquaintances.  Tread carefully, but these are people who we literally trusted our child with, and theirs with us.  I suppose it depends whether you're looking for one-and-done arrangements, or something deeper.   With the closed group of married couples we play with the trust allows for bareback play, alone play, etc.  Consider both.

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21 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

I cannot overemphasize HOW MANY MEN you will be contacted by. Don't be afraid to toss one back if they aren't exactly what you are looking for.  

We're testing out Feeld. Suffice it to say, so far, I probably get a little less than one match a day on average. She gets about five an hour.

 

Separately, we used Tinder for fun just to chat with new people during the pandemic. She left it set to the nearby city one night by mistake and woke up with 1,800 matches queued up to sort through.

 

The imbalance in that space is hard for men to imagine.

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Thank you so much for everyone's input.

 

I have been reading the best means of sending pictures is through snap chat.  Can anyone confirm?

 

Thanks

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The problem with ex's and other people that you know is that with ex's there has already been feelings and emotions and most ex's are not ready for the swinging L/S. They all too easily mistake this as your wife wanting to get back together or they just become jealous leading to DRAMA. Ex's and other people you know can also spill the beans when things don't go the way they want it to. Imagine ALL of your friends, family, and coworkers hearing about what you like to do in the bedroom. It's just safer to find what you are looking for by looking somewhere you don't have to worry if things go sideways.

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Happy you two found what you were looking for!  Sounds like a great time and I am sure there will be more for you.  It is a pretty amazing experience to share the woman you probably feel is the sexiest woman on earth and it would not surprise me if you are going to find yourself wanting her even more then you did before.  I know I sure did.

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Good evening, everyone

 

We have been away from the scene for a few years. The kids mainly kept us really busy, so it was difficult to live this lifestyle. Kids are older and we are both interested in this lifestyle. 

 

Wanted to bring everyone up to date andi your thoughts. 

 

After our last FWB, which lasted 6 months, we decided to take a leave..between kids and he really wasent the fit,  We recently placed an ad on the locale pay site.  It really did not take long to find our potential FWB.. after much talking,   We met up for a coffee which went much better than anticipated,  This person we can actually have a conversation with, he has similar interests.  We decided a few days later to get together..  my wife had the hottest sex ever. He was rough but passionate... he included me which was nice,  

 

My questions. There is potential of another man who would like to meet us, His intentions are to treat my wife kike a Girlfriend,   what this intails is he want to take my wife  once a month for date.. dinner/movie/adventure days, potentially going to a cottage away in a forest, I would almost  call it a companion for 24hrs.   There is a potential of her spending the night with him when we are more comfortable which he really would like.

 

My question... she has me, a local FWB and potentially, once a month with another FWB.. 

 

Has anyone had another man take their wife for dinner dates and over nights.  Should I be thinking that he might be attempting to cut more than the gras and have a hidden agenda to sway her away from me.  

 

Since we starter this life style, we have developed incredible communication skills. We are open.  My wife very intrigued by this proposition and is strongly think of trying it out.

 

I did not want to pass judgment on this person  and want input.

 

Regards

Edited by Fantasyfun1977
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8 hours ago, Fantasyfun1977 said:

My question... she has me, a local FWB and potentially, once a month with another FWB.. 

As a woman, that sounds wonderful to me, a lot of fun.

 

8 hours ago, Fantasyfun1977 said:

Should I be thinking that he might be attempting to cut more than the gras and have a hidden agenda to sway her away from me.

It's always possible, but that's possible with any guy she meets.  The important thing is if something happens that either you or your wife thinks is heading in the wrong direction, you terminate the relationship. 

 

9 hours ago, Fantasyfun1977 said:

We decided a few days later to get together..  my wife had the hottest sex ever. He was rough but passionate... he included me which was nice,  

This is another thing to consider with the potential once-a-month dating guy - can you occasionally participate in the dates and sex?  Not only is it hot, but it also reminds him of what the situation really is. 

 

When my hubby first started playing with my female friends and acquaintances that I set him up with, I appreciated the women who let me be there and watch.  It was both extremely exciting and reassuring. 

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The question I have that you didn't elude to is, what does your wife think of this?  She's the most important person in this equation, and her feelings should be considered above all. If she has trepidations, back away, it won't be worth it.

 

On the other hand, if she's interested, how do you feel about it? This type of relationship takes a tremendous amount of trust on the part of the husband. 

 

If both of you are up for it, I'd start with baby-steps. First night, dinner and sex, then she's home by a decent time. Next time, stretch it a little. At any time, if it's not going well for either of you, call an end to it.

 

It could be a lot of fun, but it could also be a real challenge to the core of your marriage.

 

Best of luck.

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10 hours ago, Fantasyfun1977 said:

"There is potential of another man who would like to meet us, His intentions are to treat my wife kike a Girlfriend,   what this intails is he want to take my wife  once a month for date.. dinner/movie/adventure days, potentially going to a cottage away in a forest, I would almost  call it a companion for 24hrs.   There is a potential of her spending the night with him when we are more comfortable which he really would like."

This is a big step from just having a compatible guy join you for a couple of hours for exciting sex. The risk you cite, of having your wife and this prospective dating partner develop deep emotional ties, is real, though it’s not possible to quantify, at least at this point. Hypothetically, it’s certainly plausible that this prospective partner is a guy who enjoys an ongoing pleasant once-a-month overnight date with sex assured but no further commitment. And quite possible that arrangement would work well for your wife. And for you. 
 

There is a member of this board and frequent commenter (he will likely weigh in here) who with his wife is a member of a longterm closed group of couples who exchange not only sexual partners but maintain a close knit social relationship that often involves one half of a couple attending cultural activities with one half of another couple. And these ad hoc "couples" sometimes travel and stay overnight, enjoying sexual and social/cultural activities. 
 

Returning to your circumstances, you and your spouse are newly active as an ENM couple after a considerable break while your children were growing up. Were I in your situation I’d take things slowly. As a couple interested in inviting men into your relationship, whether for one-time, casual recurring or even polyamorous coupling, you will always have more opportunities than you can even evaluate. 
 

With regard to this particular man, you don’t mention how far or the manner in which the two of you have explored the possibilities with him. Just online? Via phone or video? Face-to-face over coffee or a meal? If you are interested in further pursuing a potential engagement with him and you haven’t met IRL, I suggest you do so. And if he seems attractive to your wife and you find him acceptable as a person entering your relationship, the two of you should require that he agree to a gradual development of his dating relationship with your wife, progressing from initially a no-sex dinner (and possibly movie or other entertainment) in several steps that proceed — depending on how things go at each prior step — from having sex but not spending the night to eventually weekend adventures for the two of them. If he’s not enthusiastically willing to do so, toss him back. As the old saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea. And you will find more than enough of them who are keepers.

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Thank you everyone for the message. 

 

Adamgun, to answer your question. My wife is excited and intrigued by the potential adventure.  I have the same feeling as long as things go as we want them to.

 

After chatting with this gentlemen,  we are getting a feeling he is more of a dom rather than a bull.  Even though there really is no emotion through "text" persay. You can read a lot on their needs.

 

We are going to meet him for a coffee, and we have boundaries that we will do our best to stay with in them. On the other hand, he keeps fishing .  This coffee meet started as a meet and greet. He has attempted to see if a potential addition is down to a  potential exploration. My wife and I agree that  anything is possible depending on the compatability. I'm sure he's excited, but he must respect our intentions. 

 

We shale see how it goes and I'll report back.

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You may want to watch this new guy fuck your wife for the first couple of times.  It might make you and your wife both more comfortable especially if he is a dom.  That can translate to many different things in the bedroom.  The first step is to see if the chemistry is there.  But there is nothing wrong with her seeing him alone, at least that's common in our relationship but everyone is different.  It might make it better for you to be included even though you are not there through phone, video, etc.

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12 hours ago, Anon321 said:

You may want to watch this new guy fuck your wife for the first couple of times.  ..  It might make it better for you to be included ...

For me, when I finally got over my jealousy, I really appreciated the women who would let me watch them with my husband (and reclaim him).  The excitement remained for me when they would subsequently play alone, but my concerns went away. 

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On 11/30/2023 at 8:42 PM, Fantasyfun1977 said:

There is potential of another man who would like to meet us, His intentions are to treat my wife kike a Girlfriend,   what this intails is he want to take my wife  once a month for date.. dinner/movie/adventure days, potentially going to a cottage away in a forest, I would almost  call it a companion for 24hrs.   There is a potential of her spending the night with him when we are more comfortable which he really would like.

We all in our closed group of married couples consider "dating" one of the best, unexpected, aspects of our swing situation, so I wouldn't worry about the dating aspect of an outside relationship.  My wife and I participate in this, and we find it one of the more fulfilling aspects of the lifestyle.  My wife more frequently, me less but for longer trips. Having said that, our move into the lifestyle started with Daniela hotwifing, not just the sex, but dating other men, something she's good at and enjoys.

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I'm getting the feeling that this potential play partner is trying rather hard to push the boundaries. I would urge caution. This could go badly. I agree with others; IF your wife has sex with him, the first few times should be with you there. That will be more illuminating.

 

My wife has had some overnighters with a long term boyfriend she had for some years. Before that happened, there was an ongoing relationship and she had had sex with him many times. I had met him several times, and we had had MFMs as well. Everything was comfortable. My wife really enjoyed the overnighters. It can work. But, be cautious. I'm suspecting problems.

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Thank you for the input.

 

We met this chap on Sunday. We went for a coffee, he was very well mannered., well educated,  Didn't keep much of a conversation with my wife but rather with me . There was some small talk.. He walked us to the vehicle were he shared a long but passionate kiss with my wife.

 

We requestesd to get together one evening, he would pay for the hotel and ill be there for the mfm, my wife wants to see how he does. We haven't heard much from him since.  Really odd.. I almost feel like he's married. He does say he has a busy life with his work and sports tennis etc... 

 

Any thoughts.

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Go with your gut. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Not that it feels wrong right now. Just saying trust yourself. There are other men out there.

 

I'm a bit surprised he didn't carry much conversation with your wife, but wants to have solo dates? Hmm.

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11 hours ago, Fantasyfun1977 said:

Thank you for the input.

 

We met this chap on Sunday. We went for a coffee, he was very well mannered., well educated,  Didn't keep much of a conversation with my wife but rather with me . There was some small talk.. He walked us to the vehicle were he shared a long but passionate kiss with my wife.

 

We requestesd to get together one evening, he would pay for the hotel and ill be there for the mfm, my wife wants to see how he does. We haven't heard much from him since.  Really odd.. I almost feel like he's married. He does say he has a busy life with his work and sports tennis etc... 

 

Any thoughts.

He might just be a bit nervous and also married. Just give him a little time and a nudge. If nothing happens then head back into the 'Ocean'. Plenty more fish there... 🐬

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So he messaged us this morning.

 

He met a single woman  and he's committed to her.. like what ever.. in two days this much changes.

 

This is coming from a person who  said they dont have time for full time relationship. has cross fit 4 days a week, plus tennis etc...

 

Hes a flake as I suspected.

 

His loss not ours.. my wife still has a Bull who satisfies her.

 

Thank you to everyone who responded. 

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Yep, flake. Next.

 

Unfortunately, you occasionally run into people like that. I mentioned back in 2021 on this thread about one such guy that was interested in having sex with my wife. But, he was a flake. We ditched him, and it was the right decision. Even if this guy tries to come back (new relationship doesn't work out, whatever), I wouldn't give him the time of day.

 

It's wonderful your wife has a bull whom she really enjoys!!

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On 12/7/2023 at 1:21 PM, Fantasyfun1977 said:

So he messaged us this morning.

 

He met a single woman  and he's committed to her.. like what ever.. in two days this much changes.

 

This is coming from a person who  said they dont have time for full time relationship. has cross fit 4 days a week, plus tennis etc...

 

Hes a flake as I suspected.

 

His loss not ours.. my wife still has a Bull who satisfies her.

 

Thank you to everyone who responded. 

 

That sucks.  Fortunately it's not hard to find another guy out there willing to fuck your wife.  You can throw a rock and you'll hit one.

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On 12/7/2023 at 11:21 AM, Fantasyfun1977 said:

He met a single woman  and he's committed to her..

I'm not commenting on this particular situation, but on an abstract level I'm thinking that I would say to him, "That's wonderful, please bring her along."

 

If I were single again, I would not date or consider marrying anyone not already open to the lifestyle.  Perhaps more bizarrely, I would date bisexual women who are open to finding and dating like minded men. 

 

I'm lucky that we stumbled into forming our poly family by chance.

 

 

Edited by couplers
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On 12/13/2023 at 8:17 AM, couplers said:

I'm not commenting on this particular situation, but on an abstract level I'm thinking that I would say to him, "That's wonderful, please bring her along."

 

One of my wife's past long term lifestyle lovers finally found himself a girlfriend. He politely put his and my wife's sexual encounters on hold during the first part of the relationship. Some months later, his girlfriend was potentially amenable but wanted to know if my wife was bisexual. She isn't...not even .1%. So, that didn't go anywhere. She's still in contact with him, but they haven't had sex together since well before the pandemic 😕

 

I understand though about not wanting to jump right into things with a partner who found a new significant other. I think it make sense to give them time to find their own sense of relationship-self.

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On 12/31/2023 at 3:48 PM, bbarnsworth said:

I understand though about not wanting to jump right into things with a partner who found a new significant other. I think it make sense to give them time to find their own sense of relationship-self.

Understandable yes, but it would still be an interesting way to start a new, romantic relationship with potential marriage.

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10 hours ago, Fantasyfun1977 said:

After each session, we sit down and talk about the date. She really enjoys his size, passion and endurance.  .. 

 

I do find that our relationship has grown stronger and we have sex more often.

The benefit of allowing a wife to stoke and feed her sex passions is that increases her desires for you.  And unlike a man, sex with other partners doesn't diminish her physical capabilities for more sex.

 

Well done. 

 

10 hours ago, Fantasyfun1977 said:

This current gentleman and I keep in touch by text daily and go for coffee every so often.

I find that touching.  May I ask, after discussing the weather, how does the conversation about your wife go?

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10 hours ago, Fantasyfun1977 said:

This current gentleman and I keep in touch by text daily and go for coffee every so often.

My first step into the lifestyle was having two men (an ex-fiancé and a new boyfriend who would become my husband) as lovers.  At first, although they knew about each other, they hadn't met.  After they had met, I wondered about their private conversations about me out of my presence.  Fifteen years later, I still do.

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On 6/21/2021 at 8:47 AM, GoldCoCouple said:

Finding a man for a MFM threesome is like finding a cheeseburger in McD's. They're EVERYWHERE. What is harder is finding the RIGHT man for the job. Establish your limits and rules first (knowing that they can be changed after discussing them outside of a sexual scenario, never when things are happening). Then start looking on one of the swinger websites (see: please visit our sponsors at the top of the page...most will let you set up a free profile). Say exactly what you want in the profile...that you are looking for a connection and are taking your time. You'll still get literally HUNDREDS of responses. Week them down and then start meeting them (you will learn more about them in 5 minutes in person than 5 years of email/text/talking via phone). If one isn't right or steps over the line or moves too fast or whatever, move on to the next. I cannot overemphasize HOW MANY MEN you will be contacted by. Don't be afraid to toss one back if they aren't exactly what you are looking for.  

That is true they are everywhere but you don’t want to be treated like a pussy because you like to see your spouce pleased and not treated like a whore ……finding one that will treat your spouse with respect is the trick 

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Posted (edited)

Fantasyfun, I think this guy's a keeper :) I hope it continues to develop into a long term boyfriend sort of situation. My wife had that with two different men (not at the same time), and it was grand. I'm really, really glad your wife is having such a good time!!

Edited by bbarnsworth
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On 1/2/2024 at 8:42 AM, Rock n Tits said:

That is true they [guys for an MFM with your wife] are everywhere but you don’t want to be treated like a pussy because you like to see your spouce pleased and not treated like a whore ……finding one that will treat your spouse with respect is the trick 

When my wife was in her single days of having relationships with cheating married men, she said that they treated her like a treasure and with respect, that's why she preferred them. They not only got sex, sometimes kinky sex, that they didn't get at home, they also got understanding conversation, empathy, and encouragement that they didn't necessarily receive. That's also why we prefer our group of married couples who we play with now. It's not just a quick fuck and goodbye, there is genuine feelings and appreciation between us and the people we fuck. It doesn't both me that my wife will exchange I love you's with one of the guys, he appreciates her and doesn't treat her a a quick fuck whore.  He cares.

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We invited a co-worker over after her got if work to have sex with my wife. He got there late and after the three of us playing on couch kissing sucking her big tits I had to get to bed because I had to get up in 3 hours for work. I left them on couch and went to bed. I did walk out once when I her day no not that!! He was trying to put his cock in her ass she reserved that for me. She told me he had a nice cock but when she told no ass he pin her to the floor and held her down stuck in her pussy took about 5 strokes pulled out stood up pulled up his pants and left. No thanks no good bye justopen the and left. She was laying on floor naked with his wad rolling down her ass. She was pissed and so was I. The next day as I was getting off work he was just walking in the parking lot walked up to me and said tap me on my chest and and said “she was a good fuck” I knocked down and said Asshole we never spoke again. He asked for a transfer two weeks later.

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Sorry you and especially your wife had that experience RnT. There's a reason we never play with coworkers, even if they are flirting hard and making it obvious they are interested. This is why.

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