Why do some men try to force their wives to be bisexual?

[JessicaJamison 843]

Why do some men try to force their wife to be bisexual?  I had a couple instances where men have tried to get me to "turn out" their wife.  One of the most recent told me she was Bi, and arranged for us to meet.  Turned out not only was she not Bi she had no clue who I was, nor why I was there.  When I questioned him he said he thought I'd seduce her.  I left, and blocked his number.  Another couple met with me and the woman was very affectionate when her husband was there but didn't want to be touched when he wasn't there, as she wasn't Bi at all.  She was playing a roll for him.  I was embarrassed and left.  So why do some men try to force something that's not real?  Wouldn't you be concerned it could damage your relationship?

[njbm 2,731]

Many men are turned on by bi women. Probably more than there are biwomen. I think a lot of women in the life style are more bi performers than bi sexual. People should do things voluntarily and not be coerced. 

[J&Wu 374]

1 hour ago, njbm said:

Many men are turned on by bi women. Probably more than there are biwomen. I think a lot of women in the life style are more bi performers than bi sexual. People should do things voluntarily and not be coerced. 

Good point, might apply to some of us guys too.

[Shore2Please 543]

I am not bisexual even if I had some bisexual play. I wasn’t forced by my husband even though I had no desire to ever be sexually involved with any woman. After spending a Wonderful first swap experience the next day did not go as wonderfully as the night before. My new lover was anything but the wonderful man he was the night before. In separate rooms the night before I was now being fucked in front of my husband and he was having sex in front of me. Not being one to ruin our time with the other couple I went along with what was happening. The other wife was urged to kiss me by her husband. I knew this was their first swap too and didn’t know what the right thing to do was. I went along with the kissing know we were being watched. My husband seemed to be quiet and just watched. The kissing led to her touching and then lowering her head to do more. When she lowered herself over my mouth I got sick to my stomach. My husband didn’t force the situation and he didn’t stop it either. 

[njbm 2,731]

I say it doesn’t hurt to experiment in bisexuality if the actor is curious themselves. It just seems to me that every profile on SLS lists the woman as bi or bicurious and I doubt that many women are interested. 
 

Conversely, very few males are  listed as bi or bisexual because so many males in couples are militantly against male bisexuality. I bet many more males are bi or bi-curious than are listed. 
 

It’s a peculiar dynamic in the lifestyle that female bisexuality is so much more acceptable than male. 

[Sunday 119]

Women having sex with each other is one of the most common fantasies for men.  Forcing a woman to do anything, especially sex, is dead wrong -- but I think we all can fully understand the desire of a man to see his woman engaged in hot sex with another hot woman.

[EastInWest 1,509]

I think this fits into the same category as guys who can't accept that their wife just isn't open to swinging at all.

 

The fantasy is extremely common, but so is the phenomenon of people who just can't grasp that someone else doesn't secretly share their fantasy. 

[JessicaJamison 843]

12 minutes ago, EastInWest said:

The fantasy is extremely common, but so is the phenomenon of people who just can't grasp that someone else doesn't secretly share their fantasy. 

I feel like this hits the nail on the head, a guy has a fantasy and cannot fathom a reason his wife doesn't share it.  So when she says no he assumes she is either telling a lie or has not met the right woman.  He then either badgers her till she tries it to silence him or he tries to force the scenario without her knowledge creating an uncomfortable situation for both women.  It's blind and willful ignorance.  

[Idahocouple6969 294]

I have never understood the amount of people in the lifestyle that are homophobic. I had one lady say they wouldn't play with a bi guy because she didn't want him checking out her man's butt ?.

We know several LS couples where the guy is at least bi curious. But it's almost an instant "pass" for most other couples if you identify as bi or bi curious.  While I am straight, I never say never. And with a couple of drinks and under the right circumstance.....who knows? 

[enhancer 1,556]

I will go with, because they are self centred assholes!  
 

No woman needs to do anything they do not want to sexually for any man and they shouldn’t. There are plenty of people out there that would be more then happy to play with them on their terms.  As far as we are concerned women hold the power when it comes to sex as much as men don’t want to hear it.

 

 The days of men getting what they want when they want from women are long gone.  I don’t know why any woman would tolerate it.  They can do better. 

[samandtammi 99]

I agree that most women in the lifestyle are not bi (and I have some lesbian friends who swear to that).   I believe most do it for show.

 

 A friend (in the lifestyle) was married to a man who was constantly pushing her to do things.  First other women, than more than one guy at a time, then anal, etc.  She found a man in the lifestyle who respected her and left her husband for him.  

[lovefest04 685]

I've always found that if you just let things 'unfold' naturally, people will tend to do what makes them happy. No one should be forced to do anything and no one should be judged for what they do, sexually speaking. I'm often surprised by people that want to 'direct' the evening. sure, making the lighting nice, music, even starting things off is all fine, but after that I say let nature take over and let all enjoy wherever they are, not where i am.

[herpob 523]

I have one for you. What if the shoe was on the other foot?  Should we post this in the forum or add it to the discussion here? 

Edited December 14, 2020 by herpob

[Idahocouple6969 294]

Any act containing the word "forced" is just wrong. 

 

You are breaking one of the primary rules of swinging namely everyone has to be on the same page. If you or your partner ever feels pressured into doing something you or they don't want to do then it's wrong. 

 

No one in the LS should EVER feel that they have to do something they don't want to do just to satisfy their partner. I would never ask Mrs ID to do something she is uncomfortable with and if someone else was trying to do that to her our encounter with that person would end right there.

[couplers 4,186]

On 11/27/2020 at 9:43 PM, JessicaJamison said:

Why do some men try to force their wife to be bisexual?

I approach any question about men by looking for the simplest, most basic answer.  For this question is the same as it is for why men try to force their wives to golf, or boat, or hunt or fish or become interested in some machine (cars, computers) - because they are like little kids and want to foist their interests on their friends and family.  Men like pussy and tits, so they want their wife to like them as well.  Fortunately for me, I like women sexually, so it's not a problem playing that way.

[herpob 523]

On 11/28/2020 at 9:52 AM, Shore2Please said:

I am not bisexual even if I had some bisexual play. I wasn’t forced by my husband even though I had no desire to ever be sexually involved with any woman. After spending a Wonderful first swap experience the next day did not go as wonderfully as the night before. My new lover was anything but the wonderful man he was the night before. In separate rooms the night before I was now being fucked in front of my husband and he was having sex in front of me. Not being one to ruin our time with the other couple I went along with what was happening. The other wife was urged to kiss me by her husband. I knew this was their first swap too and didn’t know what the right thing to do was. I went along with the kissing know we were being watched. My husband seemed to be quiet and just watched. The kissing led to her touching and then lowering her head to do more. When she lowered herself over my mouth I got sick to my stomach. My husband didn’t force the situation and he didn’t stop it either. 

We set up clear guidelines based on everyone’s expectations and we are VERY clear on what we will not do. I do think we ladies have amazing bodies and body parts, it can be fun rubbing and grinding, but I am not hot for women nor do I seek out pussy to eat or women to kiss. Yes I have and do these things when it works out that way so as to not kill a mood but my husband has never coerced me in any manner. Yes, he will tell me if something was hot to him but that never means I have to do it. As for getting eaten, oh my goodness, if you are attractive and want to eat me out, who am I to say no, no matter the gender, I mean for goodness sakes even bad oral is pretty darn good! We are a definite same room only sex couple, we are never going to be apart when we are having sex, we need that connection. That is the whole reason we have sex, to connection and share our experiences together.

 

Of my own accord I ate my first pussy with him to share the experience with him. The same goes for vice versa as I mentioned in the earlier post - the shoe on the other foot. I love to share experiences with him, especially side by side ones. I am very motivated by sharing with my husband! Also I fully understand it sometimes takes giving a lot to get some of the things you want, it is not always balanced. As long as everyone enjoys themselves within the guidelines we have never had any complaints.

 

As coupler stated, men like pussy and tits, I like cock and anal, you share with me and I will share with you. For the couples we are with most everything everyone does is about the sharing with their spouse whatever that desire may be.

Edited January 11, 2021 by herpob

[herpob 523]

Perhaps there are more people out there like this???

Edited January 11, 2021 by herpob

[lovefest04 685]

Herpob - it seems like you're speaking to a "go with the flow" kinda play time. I agree sharing is what's it all about. We always play together. That doesn't mean we won't play separate t some point, but so far our play has been a team effort.

 

My wife is not into women. Never forced her either. During one foursome she did touch and caress the other woman. I think it was more as a connection than a sexual act. If she ever decides to go for it, I'll be cheering her on, if not, no big deal. We can find lots of great things to experience without FF.

 

Of course, I thinks she's a bit crazy. Playing with women is freaking FANTASTIC. Oh, maybe that's just  male perspective.

[Playman64 202]

Before I introduced Kim into the LS she didn’t seem to want to be with a woman, I think after two times with other couples and a house party she jumped into wanting to be with a woman.  I think it was Tonya who was her first experience.  

[couplers 4,186]

On 11/27/2020 at 9:43 PM, JessicaJamison said:

She was playing a roll for him. 

A roll?  That's a kink I hadn't heard of.  ?

[couplers 4,186]

I considered myself always 100% heterosexual until I turned myself.  For two years after me being non-monogamous, I was reluctant to let hubby play with another woman because it made me jealous.  Still does.  But once I set it up (my control issue) and hubby started playing with women who would let me watch/participate, my jealousy drove me to want to jump in to prove something, reclaim him, I don't know what, by sucking his spent dick, licking his cum out of her pussy, trying to make them enjoy me as much as they enjoyed one another.  In my mind, it wasn't Lezzie because he was involved.  After a while, I would get together for sex with her without him because well, I liked girl play for its own sake.

 

Now I've found my Lesbian side which is equal to or greater than my hetero side, not only for sex but love as well.  There is nothing more bonding among humans than Lora, Clair and I having children together by the same men.  (To be blunt though, we still need dick.  Men have many deficiencies, but they bring something that women need.)

 

Anyway, if a woman has any Lesbian tendencies, ones that she may not even know that she has, they can't be forced out.  If a woman is going to "turn bi," it will happen through regular hetero play, the right woman, and the opportunity to do whatever she wants when she wants.

[Numex 2,191]

My wife already was a vagitarian when we met.  It would be a struggle to get her away from pussy, and I don't care to try.

Edited January 27, 2021 by Numex

[herpob 523]

On 1/27/2021 at 3:18 PM, Numex said:

My wife already was a vagitarian when we met.  It would be a struggle to get her away from pussy, and I don't care to try.

I LOVE IT!!!!  lol

[KatrinaandDriverX 88]

Katrina writing:  Well, the first time with a woman, I did get seduced and I was stunned to find myself into being with a woman. She undressed me, kissed me and I was all in. In short order, she had me on my knees lapping up her pussy as she pulled my head more deeply into her. Alternatively, I've never tried to get a girl to change teams and can 'read' someone pretty well. I'm always happy to play straight, but if the girl is being coerced and the husband is 'hoping', we simply do not play with them. We've had on experience where the other woman sincerely wanted to try it, did and we stopped. It wasn't for her. We've also had the situation where she completely got off on it , I worked her to several orgasms and my husband fucked her into next week. 

 

Yet, never take one for the 'team' and never try and coerce. It's not healthy for anyone.  We're supposed to be having fun here and I'm not into drama. 

[couplers 4,186]

1 hour ago, KatrinaandDriverX said:

I was stunned to find myself into being with a woman. .. In short order, she had me on my knees lapping up her pussy as she pulled my head more deeply into her.

What did it for me was the female equivalent of "it isn't gay if a woman's involved."  When I saw my husband fuck another woman I had the jealous desire to eat his cum out of her pussy.  Most let me and returned the favor.  Not only was I sexually hooked, but I eventually became romantically involved with two women as well.

[herpob 523]

On 1/14/2021 at 6:01 PM, lovefest04 said:

Herpob - it seems like you're speaking to a "go with the flow" kinda play time. I agree sharing is what's it all about. We always play together. but so far our play has been a team effort.

 

Thumbs UP!!!

 

Couples who play together, are more likely to stay together - at least in my book!

[Numex 2,191]

On 2/1/2021 at 8:22 AM, KatrinaandDriverX said:

She undressed me, kissed me and I was all in. In short order, she had me on my knees lapping up her pussy

She must have been a good seductress (or you had repressed homosexual desires) because every first time girl-girl experience that I've seen or story I've heard of starts with the new-to-the-game woman being the one to have her pussy licked.  She can lay back, close her eyes, use her imagination, and enjoy the attention.  There's even a name for women who accept that, but won't reciprocate, a pillow queen.  I don't think there's a word for the other way around.  A woman getting into also performing oral usually takes time. Being licked by a woman isn't a new sensation, but putting your mouth down there can be sensory overload along with her responses.

 

Anyway, a very nice story, thanks for sharing. 

[ToeDippers 79]

No man should force a woman to do anything she doesn’t want to do. You can’t  force a person to change their sexuality. You have to know the true definition of bisexuality to understand that urging someone to do an act is not changing the person’s sexual preference. A man can’t make a woman to be sexually attracted to another woman any more than a woman can make a man be attracted to another man. 

Our LS quest started with my wife’s curiosity in being with a woman sexually. I wouldn’t call her bisexual, I would call her sexual. Porn gave her the curiosity not me pushing her or making her bisexual. As fact she was very nervous in allowing herself to explore her sexual experience with another woman. 

I have read too many posts of men making their partner do things and hardly none where they were willing to do similar things when urged. If my wife didn’t want to explore, it would have never happened. 

[KatrinaandDriverX 88]

To Numex:  First, she's really beautiful. Secondly, she was so very welcoming from the first kiss  and that contributed to feeling so good about her stripping me naked (the clothes just fell of me) and the sex. It just felt very normal to start going down on her. She ran her fingers through my hair and started saying,"Now, that's a good girl," and I just went crazy for it all. Then, the powerful feeling when she had an orgasm while I was doing it.  

 

She, of course, ended up with my husband. She had me so revved up, her husband came over, and literally bent me over the couch and started fucking me. While I've had other experiences with him that were much more sensual, he said he could tell what I wanted, in that moment,  and that was pure physicality. He was not wrong.

[Aphroditee 323]

This is my number one pet peeve.  People should be able to decide their own sexuality and everyone needs to just accept it.  Trying to force a situation because it fits your fantasy is disrespectful at best.  I had my best friends husband try to get me to seduce his wife for over 3 years.  It ended up costing his marriage, cause she didn't want to do it but he was so persistent and dogged in his pursuit of making her bisexual she ended up leaving him.  I had known her since college and she is absolutely ? not Bi.  It was sad to watch.  

[cplnluv1 808]

Joke

 

All women are bi, it’s your job to figure if it is BiSexual or BiPolar. 

[Aphroditee 323]

2 hours ago, cplnluv1 said:

Joke

 

All women are bi, it’s your job to figure if it is BiSexual or BiPolar. 

You are about to find out!