naughtymischief 20 Posted August 29, 2019 Hi all. I really enjoy these boards and have found so much informative and entertaining info here. I haven't posted much aside from my first hello, but I'm now looking for thoughts/input/ideas when it comes to bringing up swinging in a dating profile. I recently placed a profile on one of the more popular dating sites, looking for a relationship, and I do want that relationship to include swinging I'm just not sure I want to blatantly post on there that I am a swinger. I would rather be a little less obvious about it or maybe even just not have any mention of it and bring it up on a one-on-one basis with those I may correspond with. I have been in the lifestyle for about 10 years, and I have had a couple relationships in that time, met through SLS. I consider myself pretty experienced but I'm just looking for some fresh insight and advice from others. Thank you! Quote Share this post Link to post
Jane1902 476 Posted August 29, 2019 I have only experienced SLS as a single female. There is a lot of wading through but there are men there looking for relationships too. I was on a vanilla site that had the option of non monogamy but at the same time felt targeted as an easy lay. I will say I have better luck when I make the first contact. Be clear on what you are looking for. Some men will say what they think you want to hear. I meet in public and say I don’t play on the first meeting, but it has happened. It can be frustrating, it can be fun. Best of luck and keep us updated. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
naughtymischief 20 Posted August 30, 2019 Hmmmm, a picture may be one answer. I actually went to Las Vegas a few years ago and stayed at the SLS Hotel and Casino (no link to SLS/swinging...it formerly was the Sahara). I bought one of their T-shirts - SLS in big silver glittery letters. Could be just the type of hint I'm looking for Thank you...had a solution right here! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
naughtymischief 20 Posted August 30, 2019 Great advice Jane1902. Honestly, I've never made first contact. I get so many unsolicited inquiries it takes so much time to wade through that. I think I'll try it. I just thought I'd try widening the field by going on a dating site, too. Thank you! Quote Share this post Link to post
GoldCoCouple 4,015 Posted August 30, 2019 I used to have a Desire hat that I wore all of the time because most people had no idea what it meant...until that one fateful boat trip I wouldn't worry much about pictures as most won't get it and even if they did, they wouldn't make the connection to what you were saying. Instead I would say things in your profile describing what you want without just saying it. Committed relationship but someone who isn't too possessive or jealous. Open minded, willing to try new things and experiences, etc. Maybe look for someone at a swingers club. Just be up front from the start...like first or second meeting that you are a swinger and want someone who can accept that (and even after they say it's okay, keep looking for warning signs since lots of guys will agree to the idea but can't deal with the reality). Good luck. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
Jane1902 476 Posted August 31, 2019 Some men may have experience with swinging as a single but are not up to it as part of a couple themselves. One said “my girlfriend’s not going to do that.” I was very clear I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend but FWB partner. There are those looking for a date to get them into the party or club and won’t really take the time to know you. I know a couple that did meet swinging as singles at a party. So it can happen. I made the initial contact with my main FWB 2 years ago. We have a wonderful friendship and have both been clear from the beginning what we wanted. There have been times we are monogamous and that has to do with other things in our lives which we discuss clearly. I initiated contact with another man looking for MFM with a man he knew (flows better to me). So now I play with them single or together. I like the wording GoldCo suggests. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
Sawman 84 Posted August 31, 2019 Start on a conventional dating site and lead with the relationship. Any LTR will have conditions, family, religion, children, career, etc. Non-monogamy can be one, but don't put that in an ad or in a response to an ad. Start with the connection. The other conditions will have to work before you get to monogamy. If you can communicate with someone your dating history will come up and be the basis for discussion. Go easy on your desire for an open relationship. There is plenty in a LTR that will go sideways not just this. Be yourself. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
naughtymischief 20 Posted September 2, 2019 I've decided against the picture idea and just let the profile as is. I'll take it one situation at a time and see where it leads. If I feel there's a need to share that information about myself, I will do that. I've met single males in the lifestyle and have seen the warning signs even with them Thank you! Quote Share this post Link to post
naughtymischief 20 Posted September 2, 2019 I do agree with everything you say Jane1902. I've run across all the situations you've described also and then some. I also know couples that met in the lifestyle, it's just finding the right connection and interests in the same areas of the lifestyle and just life in general. Quote Share this post Link to post
GoldCoCouple 4,015 Posted September 3, 2019 Side note about pictures: I was watching some stupid show on MTv (didn't they used to play music videos?) and the host was wearing a SLS hat...I guess SLS also stands for Street League Skateboarding. So disappointing. Naughty: If you ever make it to Cali, we would be happy to have you as our girlfriend 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
naughtymischief 20 Posted September 3, 2019 You just never know with some many acronyms! What a fun thought Quote Share this post Link to post
