Where do we find someone normal to play with my wife?

[Cosmiccharlie26 16]

Hi everyone, we are new to this but are both definitely very into the idea, specifically watching my wife with another man. She is bisexual and is also open to women and couples but we're trying to start somewhere. Our problem is this: Where do you find someone who is into the idea that is a normal respectful person. Friends are out for us because my wife is worried about awkwardness, losing friendships etc. and whenever we go online the responses we get are mostly either not truely interested or seem disgustingly juvenile and send a picture of "themselves" after about 8 seconds and ask if they can meet today. We are both so into this and don't want it to flame out because of frustration at it never happening? Is there a different site? Some better place to look? Please help. Thanks in advance.

[Scaredstiff 128]

I think you are absolutely right to rule out friends , that could get very messy.

Finding people online can be a minefield as we ourselves are discovering , there are fake profiles everywhere, people that only want pics but will tell you whatever you want to hear to get you to send some.

We have found some genuine couples online but getting schedules to match and arrange a meet is also quite frustrating, if you do find a couple you are interested in ask them for a social meet , this is usually drinks and chat only somewhere public, you can then see if there is any chemistry or if they are weird or not lol, I say couples because they will be a lot easier to find than single females , I can't really give any advice on finding single males as we are not looking for that at the moment and so have no experience.

But you will find couples that are happy with the girls playing and the males play with own partner only.

 

The other option is a club , and that is what we have now decided to do after getting frustrated spending time messaging people online and not really getting anywhere for the most part, we are going to our first club this Saturday so we'll let you know how it goes.

[Cosmiccharlie26 16]

We havent looked into clubs at all yet. I think my wife would find the whole thing intimadating but i could be comoletely wrong. Its a discussion we'll definitely have to have together.

[funcoupledayton 2,707]

I would recommend you just use the websites to find events. Clubs are a great option. Look for meet and greets in your area if you are intimidated by clubs. I think when you get out in real life you will find that the majority of people are "normal"

[JandKinBoise 851]

Finding a man for you....Harder than it would seem. Look at it like gold mining. Move 15 tons of dirt to find a few nuggets.

Placing an ad, which is the only method we have used, is opening the flood gates. The priority is to whittle the list as quickly as possible. The first trick is to ask for a specific word in the subject of replies. Only those that actually read the ad will see that. Delete without opening all the rest.

When you reply, ask for a picture of something specific. Holding a piece of paper with the date on it is good. That will get rid of all the lazy guys and most of the flakes. Look at replies. Poor grammar, misspellings, no caps or all caps. It's been our experience that a guy that can't take a minute to verify his writing, also won't take his time with your wife. Also, his personality should come out in his writing. If it looks like a robot wrote it, expect a robot. A sense of humor is top priority for us cuz sometimes sex is really funny.

There are a lot of 'tricks' to get the right guy to show up. Go read a hundred or so ads from couples looking for men. You'll get it.

[Cosmiccharlie26 16]

Thanks a lot i really appreciate it. We'll keep at it and try not to get discouraged. As far as placing an ad are we talking craigslist here or are therr other mediums people have success with?

[ROANJO 39]

We down here also opted for playing in clubs, not even get interested in the guy´s name or the like. We also prefer MFM or MMfM to couples and in Clubs it´s a lot easier to play without any compromise whatsoever with whoever joins us. Over the past few years since we are into the lifestyle we actually had only one true fwb, all other repeats started to get frisky, trying to get her phone, private conversations, faking love, etc., what does not interest us.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

I would recommend you just use the websites to find events. Clubs are a great option. Look for meet and greets in your area if you are intimidated by clubs. I think when you get out in real life you will find that the majority of people are "normal"

This I would also recommend. Although a lot of foolishness happens with message exchanges at swingers' Eeb sites, they do provide a very effective means of finding meet-n-greet events and swingers' club parties. Go out to see and to be seen.

[Guest]

If you were looking for a couple, a couples club is great, one that has their own facility. Meet and Greets hosted by clubs that don’t have their own facilities is a nice, but somewhat slower way to get started. In our experience, such clubs are usually not just for couples and so can be a place to meet single guys as well. For single men, normally for MFM, we just go to a nice hotel bar, resort or casino. Typically a guy starts to chat with one of us. If I find him interesting, if I’m in the mood, I may take over the chat, move it into flirtation and so forth. I have grown comfortable with this approach for several reasons. Most of all, it’s just very natural. No one is arriving with the expectation that they are having sex. I enjoy the social-ness of it all, the chat, the flirt, perhaps moving it to seduction all in a nice public place where any of us can simply walkaway should we decide its not right tonight. If he has a hotel room, or if we have a hotel room, I simply ask if he would be interested in joining us for a little fun.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

There are much better options than Craigslist for meeting people!

 

I recommend that you set yourselves up with a profile on one of the swinger sites that specialize in helping swingers to meet, such as SLS, SD, SZ, Swingtowns, APG, Kasidie, or Quiver. Compose a profile that tells people a little about you, and what you're looking for. If you are in the market for single or solo guys, be sure to mention that you want only respectful, considerate, three-dimensional people to write, and that guys who start the conversation with a dick pic and "Hi, wanna fuck today?" will not get a response!

 

I don't want to paint too rosy a picture here. Yes, I think you will get, on average, a lot more respectful and considerate responses on SLS than you would on Craigslist. But there are still plenty of inconsiderate asshats on SLS! It will be a matter of separating the wheat from the chaff, but I like your chances better in SLS than on Craigslist. You'll need patience, but you can find good guys!

 

Good luck, and let us know how it's going!