Question about literacy

[mntoklahoma 16]

I was wondering if it bothers anyone else when a couple or single will post on a site and their post looks like it was written by a 7 year old. Not using proper grammar. Run on sentences that make absolutely no sense. Also having misspelled words. I think this shows a certain lack of intelligence that I would not want to deal with. Not trying to sound like a snob and I don't mean to offend anyone.

[SwingSetHusband 108]

I was wondering if it bothers anyone else when a couple or single will post on a site and their post looks like it was written by a 7 year old. Not using proper grammar. Run on sentences that make absolutely no sense. Also having misspelled words. I think this shows a certain lack of intelligence that I would not want to deal with. Not trying to sound like a snob and I don't mean to offend anyone.

 

I can understand where you're coming from. Me, personally it would be more of a turnoff if everything is wrote in Ebonics. No matter what they look like!!

[ref2018 29]

It bothers me whenever anyone who is not a 7 year old writes like a 7 year old. Especially when an actual 7 year old could do better. This need not be limited to swingers and/or swingery websites. I am hard pressed to believe folks can go through life communicating like that, but obviously many do, and it's becoming more common to see people defending that sort of thing as though it is everyone else's problem and something we all need to "get over". I am not talking about people with dyslexia and learning disabilities; those folks usually make some effort to put punctuation, etc. and tend to apologize in advance for their poor spelling and grammar. I am referring to those who just cannot be arsed to make the effort to present their words in a coherent manner, then complain that they are not getting the results they seek.

 

Yes it bugs me, but i realize there is not a whole lot i can do except ignore it, which is what i do. Besides, it makes my Asperger's syndrome flare up when people spell words using numbers, 2, too, 4, for, 8, ate, etc. Just another byproduct of our lazy, fast-food culture, the way I see it.

[two4youinswva 3,067]

Just so you know, I am critiquing the posts in this thread.

 

 

(Yes, it bugs the shit out of me as well)

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

Puts me off the trail. But you should understand; I am a snob.

[mntoklahoma 16]

Thanks for the great responses so far. I am glad that others feel the same way I do.

[angelkin 1,326]

I will gladly pass a potential play friend by if they cannot grasp proper grammar or take the time to spell check. Sorry, I like intelligence with my sex.

[LFM2 1,481]

I was wondering if it bothers anyone else when a couple or single will post on a site and their post looks like it was written by a 7 year old. Not using proper grammar. Run on sentences that make absolutely no sense. Also having misspelled words. I think this shows a certain lack of intelligence that I would not want to deal with. Not trying to sound like a snob and I don't mean to offend anyone.

 

I don't think you sound like a snob. If you were squared off with one person who talked exactly like their profile was written, would it be hard to follow along? Would it be like having a conversation with a 1st grader?

 

I often read some profiles and wonder about their maturity and if I could have a conversation with them. I pass if they sound too juvenile.

[allaboutthemrs 83]

I consider myself a fairly intelligent guy but have re-read posts I've had on here and other sites and cringed after seeing I rushed through them and clicked "Post" before scrutinizing them thoroughly. I've also found small errors in our profiles a year after I created/edited it and often my own mistakes are my pet peeves such as using "to much" where it should be "too much" or "your" where it should be "you're." Just plain carelessness usually.

 

That said the most annoying profiles/posts are people who use text talk while on a regular keyboard ....we click right off of them. However if I can tell someone is not a native English speaker I/we are non-judgmental. I can only imagine the poor soul trying to read my Spanish if I tried to set up a profile in Spanish.

 

Now I'll go back and read this after I post this and probably cringe...

[Wornsilver 219]

This language that most of us have been given as our native tongue is the richest, most expressive language in the history of the world with the greatest lexicon of any language. It is sort of like Americans, not "pure" with origins from all over the globe and quite a way back in history. To misuse it when you have the skills and the talent to avoid that misuse is a crime in my book--honest mistakes excepted.

 

Many of you have mentioned my favorite pet peeves, the incorrect "to" "too" and so on, but I have another problem that is nearly a disability--typos and obvious vocabulary miscues, like "your" and "you're," virtually jump off the page at me. I can look at a legal page and spot a typo in short order. Often I wish it didn't happen, but there it is.

 

Now, for my choice of a sex partner, she is going to be able to use this language to express herself. She and her partner will be able to talk about a variety of topics besides sex. Well, said, angelkin, I too like intelligence with my sex.

 

And if that makes us a snob, so be it. I am getting pretty damned tired of walking on eggshells trying to avoid damaging somebody's fragile little psyche. I am going to go out on a limb and posit that snobs are a minority and, therefore, we have special minority rights, too.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I don't think the inability to write clearly and literately is necessarily a sign of poor intelligence. Yes, I do pass on profiles where text speak is used or where there's a clear lack of proofreading, because that kind of carelessness is going to be present in their lives in a lot of ways, but errors in posts here and elsewhere? Yeah, don't care so much, so long as the ideas are sufficiently clear, unless the number of errors or variant spelling is so high that my dyslexia is too challenged to read what's been written.

 

Otherwise, I know the difference between too and to, lose and loose, your and you're and even discrete and discreet and it doesn't change the way I read something. But I do get peeved by poor word choice (if you don't know the precise meaning of a word, please don't use it because it makes it hard to understand you're saying), by word salad, that block o' text littered with sloppy thinking and hyperactivity and by poorly constructed arguments.

 

However, if misspellings and such really bothered me, I could cancel my internet and go read Jane Austen instead. Oh, except not in her original manuscripts, because they were littered with variant spellings.

[ViSexual 1,006]

Emails are my primary method of getting to know someone so I do tend to back away from a one-liner. But I understand that not everyone enjoys writing or is a good typist.

[miacpl30 18]

It is a huge pet peeve of ours. Drives us crazy. I do think it plays into our decision whether to contact them or not.

[cplnuswing 4,711]

It turns us off. We're not worried about an occasion to vs too or their vs there, those mistakes are easy ones to make and not notice, and we certainly aren't immune from making them ourselves. What does bother us is text speak in profiles, and those that present just a few lines of painful, nearly incoherent reading, or even worse, wall o' text of incoherent reading.

 

The reason we are reading to start with is we might want to have sex with you, but before we get there, a prerequisite is that we enjoy your company. We don't require long deep philosophical conversations on the meaning of life, nor an academic seminar on some arcane subject, but we do want some humor and good conversation, it's just a necessary part of the overall package for us. Fair or not, a bad profile leads us to believe we probably aren't going to get it, so will just pass. We are picky, the way we look at profiles is we are looking for reasons to say no thanks, not for reasons to say ok great. Not putting your best foot forward on the writing makes it really easy to say no.

 

If we met you at the club, you might be functionally illiterate yet great to talk to and looking good, and we wouldn't be asking for a writing sample before heading to the play room. But, when it comes to profiles, you aren't at the club, so you better had play the best game you can in the arena you are in.

[Wornsilver 219]

This discussion reinforces my long-held opinion that this is an amazingly reasonable and fair group. While so many other discussions on the net would have degenerated by now, the thoughtful consideration here continues. I am honored to be a member.

[ref2018 29]

Along the lines of pet peeves, the one that makes me want to gouge someone's eyes out with an apple corer is "sally and I's" this or "harry and I's" that. There is no such THING as "I's", EVER. It should be "sally's and my" whatever. I also hate it when people default to using "I" all the time whenever it's part of a compound subject or object. It's as if "me" is never correct. The same extends to the second-person and plural/abstract pronouns. I don't see what is difficult to understand about this because there are a lot of well-informed, articulate individuals who are fully capable of grasping far more complex intellectual inventions, yet commit this error ALL THE TIME. It's at the point for me where i find it refreshing when someone uses "me" improperly. At least they had the nerve to try. Poor "me", a forgotten casualty of the English vocabulary.

 

Thank you for paying attention.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

Along the lines of pet peeves, the one that makes me want to gouge someone's eyes out with an apple corer is "sally and I's" this or "harry and I's" that. There is no such THING as "I's", EVER. . .

 

I am not understanding. Help me by citing some examples of the incorrect or bothersome ways that people are using the personal pronoun "I".

 

Here are some examples of using personal pronouns correctly.

 

"She and I spoke to Mabel."

"Mabel spoke to her and me.

 

What makes my eyes roll back into my head are statements like, "Her and me are going to the club," or "They like my wife and I."

 

I enjoyed the Grammar Girl podcast about answering the question "Is this Joe?" on the phone; "This is me" versus "This is I". She declared that, using the modern American language, either can be used correctly. Go figure.

[ref2018 29]

I am not understanding. Help me by citing some examples of the incorrect or bothersome ways that people are using the personal pronoun "I".

 

Here are some examples of using personal pronouns correctly.

 

"She and I spoke to Mabel."

"Mabel spoke to her and me.

 

What makes my eyes roll back into my head are statements like, "Her and me are going to the club," or "They like my wife and I."

 

I enjoyed the Grammar Girl podcast about answering the question "Is this Joe?" on the phone; "This is me" versus "This is I". She declared that, using the modern American language, either can be used correctly. Go figure.

 

 

OK, people will say things like, "She is carpooling with Walter and I". Or, "She will be riding in Walter and I's car."

 

You gave an example like the former already, up there, in bolding (mine).

 

So, I do not understand what you are not understanding. It sounds like you understand AND agree.

 

Also, I believe I recall that when one is using the verb "to be" in its various forms, it is proper to use "I", "he", "she", "we", and so forth, in the predicate part of the main sentence, as you described.

 

However, nothing you said makes any of these things (that I described originally in my previous post) annoy me less. That is just how it is.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

. . . It sounds like you understand AND agree. . .

 

I now understand, thank you for the elaboration.

[jo3blac1 15]

Maybe I'm a minority here but I respectfully disagree. I'm educated, bilingual and I make lots of spelling/grammar errors. It has nothing to do with intelligence and more with me being tired and having have to use two languages at the same time.

[SwingSetWife 442]

Occasional spelling and grammar mistakes don't bother me. I consider myself a pretty excellent writer, and I make mistakes just like anyone else. I don't proofread and edit my online writing as much as I would a professional or educational paper. Spell check is my friend, I am a terrible speller ; )

 

But if it is too hard to understand or takes too much effort to read, I pass. Ebonics, text wall with no punctuation, or overused text speak- bleh!!!!! Similarly though, I would pass on anyone in person that spoke in ebonics or talked so fast and long that their speak felt like it had no punctuation.

[81lizard69 469]

Well... I am so guilty of writing incoherent babel I am surprised I have not been called out on it. I think there are varying degrees of communication that we will tolerate. I can really see this when it comes to age of the poster. I post up a lot from my Iphone and sometimes I get home and look up what I posted and think to myself who is that guy that wrote the sentence? If I am home I have kids running around the wife is asking me to do things and all I want to do is unwind and read my stuff on the internet. Mistakes are going to happen. I like to write as if I was talking to you. It is better than writing in the third person.

 

On the other hand. My father is a German trained in mechanical engineering in Italy and he can barely write a sentence. I do not think that intelligence has anything to do with grammar. I am prof of that. I have a good IQ score that is shrinking every day and if I don't get out my ideas they will be lost forever in my mind. Can I get a alleluia brother? No... I did not really deserve one for that.

 

I wont skip on a poorly worded profile for this reason. We have this couple we play with that is from Spain They are hot...almost to hot for us. I know that their profile looks like a third grader wrote it... and I am not sharing them with our other swinger friends, for my own selfish reasons. Ha...

 

I am leaving all the blond joke thoughts in my head for now...

 

Snobs miss out on alot of fun..... Just sayin...

[ref2018 29]

Maybe I'm a minority here but I respectfully disagree. I'm educated, bilingual and I make lots of spelling/grammar errors. It has nothing to do with intelligence and more with me being tired and having have to use two languages at the same time.

 

Yes but you don't communicate like a pile of bubble wrap. If I understand the OP correctly, they aren't talking about being perfect, they are talking about being incoherent and lazy. Perhaps the discussion about pet peeves communicated something beyond the scope of the original topic, and I apologize for any part I played in the obfuscation of focus.

[M1F2KTJ 470]

In my experience it is usually someone who is just learning English. Or it could be a seven year old.

[ref2018 29]

In my experience it is usually someone who is just learning English. Or it could be a seven year old.

 

In my experience, most people learning English as a second language TRY to get it right, they don't default to text-speak, using numbers as words and syllables, etc. and last time i checked, English was not unique in the use of punctuation and/or capitalization. Also, many people with ESL speak/write it better than a lot of folks who speak only English. For those who are not native English speakers, i concede and appreciate that they speak and write my original language way better than i do theirs. I think the OP was not referring to ESL when they made this thread.

[81lizard69 469]

I am not understanding. Help me by citing some examples of the incorrect or bothersome ways that people are using the personal pronoun "I".

 

Here are some examples of using personal pronouns correctly.

 

"She and I spoke to Mabel."

"Mabel spoke to her and me.

 

What makes my eyes roll back into my head are statements like, "Her and me are going to the club," or "They like my wife and I."

 

I enjoyed the Grammar Girl podcast about answering the question "Is this Joe?" on the phone; "This is me" versus "This is I". She declared that, using the modern American language, either can be used correctly. Go figure.

 

 

I need an "I" intervention. I use the word I way too much. I wish I could think of a way to write that does not use the word "I"... If you could help me rid myself from abusing "I" that does not include suicide, homicide, or a lobotomy, I would appreciate it.

[Wornsilver 219]

We have wandered a bit from the OP original intent which seemed to be asking if any of us avoided potential partners because their profiles were not well-written. Voting for myself, the answer is "Hellya."

 

Now, to the topics of pet peeves, I haven't even scratched the surface since I am old an crotchety. Then the idea of ESL vs 7-year old use of the language.

 

On the topic of ESL, I have to admit that I am jealous of anyone who has a reasonable facility in more than one language. What do you call someone who can speak three languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who can speak two languages? Bilingual. What do you call someone who can only speak one language? An American?

 

I have to admit that I struggle with one language, wish I were able to speak fluently in another language, but, alas, not to be.

[shy_couple 448]

We hate it also. Most times, reading a profile or email is our first impression. You don't get a second chance to make a first impression.

 

We are not grammar police and understand that there is an occasional misspelling, typo, or grammar error. Many of ours are from writing on a tablet and either fat finger typo or autocorrect. Things like this we can over look. It is the text talk, all caps, and such poor grasp of the language that drives us crazy. For the most part we feel it is either rude or more likely lazy. We don't have much time to spend in our sexy pursuits and this is a group that we can pass on all together.

[ref2018 29]

I am curious about when did it become fashionable to write stupider than we talk? When I talk, I use a lot of "improper" bits of language, but when I write, I don't spell things the way they come out of my mouth, necessarily. Sometimes I do. Like right now. I'm doing it wrong. But, unless I'm trying to be funny or be a wise-ass, I really care about spelling things correctly and choosing my words as carefully as I can. It's as though that attention to detail is wrong somehow when I expect a similar consideration from others. Folks get all, "Not everyone can be as smart as you." WTF. I don't think I'm excessively "smarter" than any specific individual or group of individuals, I just give a damn. Like, if I bathe and groom myself regularly, does that make me a "hygiene nazi" because I don't like the smell of people who DON'T wash their ass and/or brush their teeth? Because I don't eat at McDonalds, I'm a "health-food snob" because I have no sympathy for people who eat there every day and have high blood pressure and CAD?

 

I propose the following: I am ok. They are not ok. The End.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

I tend to look over some mistakes but not the text speak in profiles and posts, the main reason for this is that spelling and writing are far from my best subjects even though I'm a voracious reader.

 

I do use spell check but at times even that can not find the word I want to use.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Text speak and misspellings drive me up a wall but I can deal with the occasional butchering of grammar. I commit my fair share of violations. There are many times I think I see a violation but when I research it; I find out that something that was once unacceptable has become acceptable. And it is perfectly acceptable to start sentences with a conjunction these days

 

Using text speak equates to laziness in a profile and misspellings (especially with active spell checkers) I just don't understand.

 

Having said all of that, when we get to a club and that grammar butchering couple just happens to be hot...I'll deny I ever wrote this post.

[two4youinswva 3,067]

Having said all of that, when we get to a club and that grammar butchering couple just happens to be hot...I'll deny I ever wrote this post.

 

Hmm.

Yes. This.

[mrmrsjiggly 111]

Generally I, Mr Jiggly, does most of the messaging, post writing and profile modifications. I am horrible at my use of the English language especially the written word. Mrs Jiggly quit asking me if I am writing a book because she now knows I will write, spell check, and rewrite almost everything I do.

 

I really hate it when I don't double check a message and look at it later only to realize I looked like a complete idiot when I sent it.

[MrMarvin 268]

If it is horrendous, we pass. While the use of grammar and writing style may not be an ultimate barometer of attraction for us, we just don't have enough time to find out; so a pass. In the end, I see it no differently than "I don't like X physical characteristic" in a person. Attraction is complicated and not a place one needs to be "PC." You like what you like.

[GoldCoCouple 4,014]

The brain is the largest sex organ...usually.

[SwingSetWife 442]

Speaking of literacy... since when did it become okay to use hashtags in profiles? #annoying

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

I see no connection between literacy and the use of a # but since you asked, when I see # used in any context, I instantly receive the impression that somebody wants to advertise something -- on the cheap.