Creating a sexually charged atmosphere.

[Guy1964 177]

I came here looking for information about swinging. My wife was approached by a coworker, who is a hard-core swinger, about us going to a club with them. I read posts about other experiences. Apparently, the wife lead the husband to it and she does the hard-core dominatrix stuff. After talking about it, we aren't ready for that level of intensity. We're in our early 50's, both decent weight and take care of ourselves.

 

I read a great post where a lady advised people to try the water, not "do a cannonball" into the pool, and that makes sense to me. A while back, we had a get together at our house. It was somewhat sexually charged. We were playing a non-sex-based game, and the ladies were giving sexual answers and the atmosphere was very sexy.

 

We have decided we'd like to explore our sexual development without "doing a cannonball." I've gotten feedback that I don't come off as a highly sexual person, that I come off as somewhat professional and formal. (My wife is in higher education and she comes off somewhat as the professor type, even though in private she's like being in bed with a wildcat.) I would like to explore that side of myself, but I'm not ready for the intensity and risks of full swinging. Could we please have some suggestions on how to further the sexually charged atmosphere at get-togethers, without going into a full-swing environment? Perhaps suggestive games, or whatever. I searched for games on the forums, but the ones I found were more advanced than we're ready for. (Our advanced swinger friends won't be there.)

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I'm not certain exactly what you're looking for, or more precisely not looking for, but we have an adult oriented card game that is a variant of Truth or Dare and another that asks questions about sex that can't be answered yes or no ("What is your most persistent fantasy?" is the question I remember most acutely). Either game might get you a sexually charged atmosphere but, as you've discovered, sometimes that can happen organically as well, without any sort of planning.

 

I think we got both of the games I mentioned at our local Lovers store, but others came from Amazon, which is my go-to for pretty much everything that I don't want right now.

 

Is that kind of what you're looking for? If not, please say more so that folks can weigh in usefully.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

When my wife and I first decided to have a house party, we found a board game. Our thinking was that if we see everybody standing around balancing their drink cups on their serving plates while trying to hold a napkins at the same time they are discussing the most-recent sporting event, we would have to do something to kick them into action. We very soon learned some better ways of setting a mood. We purchased a massage table and set it up in the front room. It is inevitable that it will draw interest and somebody will invite someone to receive a sensual massage. As a secondary method, we slip the Wii Sports disc into the Wii and invite people to a naked co-ed bowling tournament. People seldom finish but one or two games before wanting to take a naked body or two upstairs for a closer examination.

[4us2 65]

Ever consider a resort. Skip the house parties. You do as you please still.

[M&S 265]

We have liked playing games with friends we are flirty with but don't swing with -- Loaded Questions is fun and very vanilla but provocative

[Guy1964 177]

I'm not certain exactly what you're looking for, or more precisely not looking for, but we have an adult oriented card game that is a variant of Truth or Dare and another that asks questions about sex that can't be answered yes or no ("What is your most persistent fantasy?" is the question I remember most acutely). Either game might get you a sexually charged atmosphere but, as you've discovered, sometimes that can happen organically as well, without any sort of planning.

 

I think we got both of the games I mentioned at our local Lovers store, but others came from Amazon, which is my go-to for pretty much everything that I don't want right now.

 

Is that kind of what you're looking for? If not, please say more so that folks can weigh in usefully.

 

That is a great question, and it really made me do some thinking. I realized that the reason you're confused is that we're confused about what we're looking for. At least your question made us step back and think, and we talked a little last night.

 

We are both professionals who teach, and I've gotten feedback that I come off as not very sexual, to put it mildly. My wife looks like the typical college teacher, even though she's very passionate. I think we both realize that we're not ready for the activities our friend describes, but we want to explore that side of ourselves. I want to become just a more sexually expressive person, and she does too. The last kid is now an adult, so that pressure is off and the fear of being "outed" isn't as high. (See, I'm paying attention to the vocabulary.)

 

I like the way you put it that sexually charged situations can just happen organically. That's a good description. I think what we're looking for is a way to take that just a little further, make it sexier. Just to show you the benefits of a forum like this, when I was writing this I realized that I think the other couples were interested in getting more sexual, but I think because of our demeanor they're afraid we'd be offended. Of course, I'm putting two and two together and getting five there, but that feels right to me. I think we need a subtle way to let people we're interested in making the situation a little more sexual. Perhaps couples getting sexual in the presence of each other? She wants to do things that involve role-play in front of people, but not with different people. From reading the posts on the forums, it sounds like a lot of people start with just exploring and then go further. I'm very comfortable with the possibility of it going further, but the advice from the experienced people seems to be that it's better to go slower rather than faster, at a level you're comfortable with. I guess I just want to communicate that I'm comfortable with a situation getting more sexual.

 

I want to thank you for helping me clarify what we're looking for. This gives us something to talk about. What is the name of the game you mention?

 

 

When my wife and I first decided to have a house party, we found a board game. Our thinking was that if we see everybody standing around balancing their drink cups on their serving plates while trying to hold a napkins at the same time they are discussing the most-recent sporting event, we would have to do something to kick them into action. We very soon learned some better ways of setting a mood. We purchased a massage table and set it up in the front room. It is inevitable that it will draw interest and somebody will invite someone to receive a sensual massage. As a secondary method, we slip the Wii Sports disc into the Wii and invite people to a naked co-ed bowling tournament. People seldom finish but one or two games before wanting to take a naked body or two upstairs for a closer examination.

Sounds fun, but that's probably down the road for us. Thank you for the exciting thought, though.

 

Ever consider a resort. Skip the house parties. You do as you please still.

My first thought was "we're not ready." I remember talking to some friends and the wife talked about how they had a party that focused on revealing clothes for the ladies. That might be something she would be interested in. Thank you for the idea.

 

We have liked playing games with friends we are flirty with but don't swing with -- Loaded Questions is fun and very vanilla but provocative

I looked on Amazon, but I'm not familiar with the game. Would the "vanilla" version have sexual questions or do we need to go with the adult version? How far does it go?

 

Thank you all for your help. I realize that you're probably not used to trying to help someone with basically becoming a sexually expressive person. I gather most of the folks here are already there. I really do appreciate the help and the stories that I enjoy tremendously. I think it's great that there is a place like this where people can freely share information.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

Perhaps to start.... dress a little sexier. When you described yourselves I thought of my hubby, who often can come off as stuffy until he gets comfortable. If I'd let him he'd wear his collar buttoned up at the swinger club. It reminds me of the PussyCat Dolls song "Loosen up your buttons babe". It's taken me years to get him to the point where he actually leaves the first couple of buttons open. I'm not talking 70's show off your whole chest, just enough so that he looks comfortable and sexy. The same goes for her, choose clothes that are sexy. Go shopping together and pick out each other's clothing so that you each feel the other is looking sexy.

 

Choose the right music. Pick some sexy music to have on at the house when your friends come over.

 

Got a pool or a hot tub? Use it. If not and you can afford it, get a hot tub. Best party starter ever.

 

Games. Any game can be made sexual. There are a ton of great games out there that are geared towards it. I'm trying to remember one that I had at one point (maybe someone else can help out) but it had questions that you asked those in the group. It was meant for a group of people who weren't necessarily already swingers, or where maybe some were and they wanted to see how the others felt. It asked questions about how you felt about different sexual things, your sexual experiences, or perhaps had little "dares" that were simple, nothing TOO risque but enough that it could get things going if you allowed it.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I like the way you put it that sexually charged situations can just happen organically. That's a good description. I think what we're looking for is a way to take that just a little further, make it sexier. Just to show you the benefits of a forum like this, when I was writing this I realized that I think the other couples were interested in getting more sexual, but I think because of our demeanor they're afraid we'd be offended. Of course, I'm putting two and two together and getting five there, but that feels right to me. I think we need a subtle way to let people we're interested in making the situation a little more sexual. Perhaps couples getting sexual in the presence of each other? She wants to do things that involve role-play in front of people, but not with different people. From reading the posts on the forums, it sounds like a lot of people start with just exploring and then go further. I'm very comfortable with the possibility of it going further, but the advice from the experienced people seems to be that it's better to go slower rather than faster, at a level you're comfortable with. I guess I just want to communicate that I'm comfortable with a situation getting more sexual.

 

I want to thank you for helping me clarify what we're looking for. This gives us something to talk about. What is the name of the game you mention?

 

I have just spent 30 minutes doing research on Amazon and other websites, because we're 95% through a remodel and our adult games were put in a safe place, with the inevitable result that I cannot find them, but I haven't located the exact games we've played. However, it looks like SeXXXtions might answer your immediate needs, if your group exceeds four people, because it will allow you to lie and have fun with lying (or telling a sexy truth). There's also the dirty version of Would You Rather, which I might get, too, because I like the concept of thinking your way through lesser evils.

 

Anyway, what I was thinking as I was looking is that your immediate aim is to change the way people see the two of you and a combination of sex and humor is a pretty good shortcut for that, especially if you have a poker face, hence the game recommendation. But, also, is seeing yourself as a sexual and sexy man part of your self-talk or your idea of self? What about your wife? Do you wear touchable clothing sometimes? What about going to a clothing optional resort that is geared toward nudists rather than swingers?

[M&S 265]

I just checked out Sexxtions. It looks very fun. What I like about games like this is that it gets friends taking about sex and lets you, in a really non-threatening environment, see how open minded they are about these things. We have played a game very similar to this one with 3 or 4 couples friends at different points. One couple turned out to be way more uptight than we thought so we now never discuss sex with them. Another couple ended up really liking sexual discussion and sharing views on sex in almost an academic way - it was kind of fun. A third couple, based on that game, decided they would like to explore swinging.

[Guy1964 177]

JustAskJulie: Your husband definitely sounds like me. I read a thread discussing whether some people put out "vibes" and I realized I don't. Interestingly, I think my wife does without realizing it. Of course, she's told me that women were flirting with me and I just thought they were being friendly, so there's probably a perception factor involved. I'm the type of person who needs to think through things before implementing, but I'm sure I'll be putting some of your suggestions into place.

 

Mauijanedoe: I think you hit on something. No, my self-talk doesn't say I'm a sexy man. I think you're saying I may need to look at changing myself, and then my social environment will change? I think there's merit there, but I'll have to do some thinking about how to do that? I do implement ideas I get from researching things, but it may take me awhile. It's not that I'm not confident; I am professionally and personally. I think it's just that I don't really think I am all that desireable sexually. As part of our process, my wife gave me 50 Shades of Grey. Where Ana talks about her subconscience rearing up to say "No, he doesn't really want you; he's just being polite " that would be me. That's something I'll definitely have to give some thought to. As I'm writing this, I'm realizing how confident I am in other areas of my life, but not that one. Your idea/suggestion will lead to more thought.

 

All: I read the Amazon reviews of Sexxxtions, and it looks like just what we're wanting. I'll probably bring it out with other games just to see what people respond to. I figure if anyone objects, they'll say "oh, let's play [other game]." I love the idea of presenting it as "How good are you at lying?" I think knowing that they won't necessarily be taken literally might make people more truthful. Thanks for the suggestion.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

No, my self-talk doesn't say I'm a sexy man. I think you're saying I may need to look at changing myself, and then my social environment will change? I think there's merit there, but I'll have to do some thinking about how to do that? I do implement ideas I get from researching things, but it may take me awhile. It's not that I'm not confident; I am professionally and personally. I think it's just that I don't really think I am all that desireable sexually. As part of our process, my wife gave me 50 Shades of Grey. Where Ana talks about her subconscience rearing up to say "No, he doesn't really want you; he's just being polite " that would be me. That's something I'll definitely have to give some thought to. As I'm writing this, I'm realizing how confident I am in other areas of my life, but not that one. Your idea/suggestion will lead to more thought.

 

One can be quite confident and competent in many areas and completely miss at feeling sexy and sexual. I think there are a lot of ways to get there, but I'm guessing a useful shortcut would be to drop thinking you're not all that desirable sexually in favor of - at minimum - entertaining the thought that you are. That can be an uncomfortable thought exercise for some people, which can also be useful. And, yes, I am suggesting that others will perceive you differently if you alter the way you see yourself.

 

I'm a big fan of physical activity as a way to be embodied, which is a baseline state for feeling sexy and desirable, so...how do you feel about tango, yoga, swimming naked, tai chi or capoeira?

[Guy1964 177]

One can be quite confident and competent in many areas and completely miss at feeling sexy and sexual. I think there are a lot of ways to get there, but I'm guessing a useful shortcut would be to drop thinking you're not all that desirable sexually in favor of - at minimum - entertaining the thought that you are. That can be an uncomfortable thought exercise for some people, which can also be useful. And, yes, I am suggesting that others will perceive you differently if you alter the way you see yourself.

 

I'm a big fan of physical activity as a way to be embodied, which is a baseline state for feeling sexy and desirable, so...how do you feel about tango, yoga, swimming naked, tai chi or capoeira?

 

I think you pretty well hit it on the head. I'm actually quite a physically active person; several years in traditional martial arts including the energy flow studies. I've done some yoga when healing from an injury. Swimming naked isn't an option for my area, except for occasionally on weekends when I go to a remote area of our local lake. In my movement-awareness activities, I've never seen them as sexual or in any way linked them to sexual energy. I'm not sure how I'd go about doing that. When I think about it, I suppose I just never thought of them in terms of sexual energy.

 

Do you think I've suppressed my sexual energy?

 

The Mrs. and I talked last night. She seems to be open to more than I thought. She wants to start with some role-playing stuff and maybe some exhibitionism. She's a widow, and I'm finding out that she wasn't the "good girl" I've always seen her as. I told her what I want to do, including maybe sexing up some get-together and she was more receptive than I was expecting. Maybe she doesn't want "Mr. Vanilla" as much as I thought.

 

After reading your replies, and the other thought-provoking replies, I'm thinking that I probably need to start with changing the way I feel, think, and move rather than trying to "sex up" a get together. What do you think? I'm open to suggestions on how I can use movement exercises to learn to express sexual energy. My wife seems to do it naturally. BTW, thank you for taking time to share your knowledge on this with me. It really does help with direction, because I've been thinking about change for a couple years, but didn't know how to go about it. It feels good just having a direction.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

In my movement-awareness activities, I've never seen them as sexual or in any way linked them to sexual energy. I'm not sure how I'd go about doing that. When I think about it, I suppose I just never thought of them in terms of sexual energy.

 

Do you think I've suppressed my sexual energy?

 

Yeah, I do. One of my new favorite expressions is "brain on a stick," because it's so evocative of the problem, even among people who are physically active. You run and you stay in your head. You do yoga and you stay in your head. You dance and you stay in your head. We can do those same activities and do them very differently, letting thought flow in and out without any attention, instead focusing on how what you're wearing is sliding against your skin, how a micro-movement in your knees changes the angle of your pelvis, how certain parts of your body heat up, how the sun feels against your skin.

 

We can't go around in public being overtly, assertively sexual (or at least that's what most of us were taught as toddlers), but some of us have taken that lesson too far and have trouble being a little sexual all the time, which is a juicy, sense-sensitive way to be in the world. I'm not sure where your key is, but I'm guessing you have one and it will just be a matter of time and intention before you're less repressed.

 

After reading your replies, and the other thought-provoking replies, I'm thinking that I probably need to start with changing the way I feel, think, and move rather than trying to "sex up" a get together. What do you think? I'm open to suggestions on how I can use movement exercises to learn to express sexual energy.

 

I think you can do both. Really, it's not an either/or thing, because you want to move as if you're a sexual being and you also want to seek reinforcement of the rightness of choosing to be one. So, successfully sexing up a get-together, even just a tiny bit, is a little social permission for the direction you're heading, which I'm guessing would be helpful.

 

What if you also slept naked, falling asleep being aware of how the sheets felt against you? That might be Tango 101, now that I think of it.

[Guy1964 177]

Mauijanedoe: Your description of the "brain on a stick" is uncannily accurate. When I did yoga, I was in my head the whole time; same for meditating.

 

I'm not sure where your key is, but I'm guessing you have one and it will just be a matter of time and intention before you're less repressed.

 

I suspect you're right about that. you've been right on with everything so far. Assuming you're right and that key is there, how do you think I go about locating it? I'm entering uncharted territory.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Assuming you're right and that key is there, how do you think I go about locating it? I'm entering uncharted territory.

 

There are lots of reasons people are repressed and not in their bodies either sexually or sensually. Some of it, surprisingly, has to do with what they've been complimented on. You get a lot of positive reinforcement on being capable, intellectual, fill in the blanks with your trait du jour, it might make you want to be more of that, putting a lid on the part of you that wants to roll around on a sunny patch of carpet instead. Also, language is both indicative of a particular bent and a cage that keeps you from expanding. Your words aren't "feel" words, they're think/figure out/assess" words. What if you replaced the word "think" with "feel?" It would be a little weird, but it might be a useful experiment, because changing language changes orientation, even if ever so slightly.

 

What if, every single day, you spent 5 minutes feeling your body? No assessment (my back hurts because I...), just feeling it, maybe touching (and feeling any discomfort that arises from that), maybe concentrate on what your eyes and nose are reporting. Another thought I had was that Nicole Daedone, in "Slow Sex," gives a few reluctant, grudging pages at the end to men's orgasms and her technique for increasing sensuality by way of a daily orgasmic practice. Would you and your wife be willing to spend 15 minutes a day for the next month with her stroking your cock (in the Daedone approved fashion, of course )? If your part of it included experiencing your body instead of what you were thinking about, that might work.

 

The reason I loved the brain on a stick description the first time I heard it was because I've seen people struggling with it for years. They try so hard to get it, whatever it is, in yoga or in dance, but their trying is always limited to thinking and it just doesn't work, because the answers are only found in the body. There are things you cannot think your way into and sexuality and full embodiment are two of them.

 

So, figure out what makes you feel and then figure out what makes you feel sexual. Then give yourself permission to do those things.

[Guy1964 177]

There are lots of reasons people are repressed and not in their bodies either sexually or sensually. Some of it, surprisingly, has to do with what they've been complimented on. You get a lot of positive reinforcement on being capable, intellectual, fill in the blanks with your trait du jour, it might make you want to be more of that, putting a lid on the part of you that wants to roll around on a sunny patch of carpet instead. Also, language is both indicative of a particular bent and a cage that keeps you from expanding. Your words aren't "feel" words, they're think/figure out/assess" words. What if you replaced the word "think" with "feel?" It would be a little weird, but it might be a useful experiment, because changing language changes orientation, even if ever so slightly.

 

I think if you talked to my best friends, they would describe me just the way you did. When I was a kid, I got a lot of compliments for being smart and intellectual. It's uncanny how you picked up on that, but anyway... My friends have told me I tend to analyze everything instead of feeling. I am quite good at applying logic, and that's served me well professionally. However, connecting to people; it sometimes makes it difficult. Your'e right; I do use thinking vocabulary not feeling vocabulary. I'm going to commit to using feeling words personally for two weeks. When I was in college, a professor had us go two weeks and every time we made a statement about ourselves, we had to follow it with "And I take responsibility for it." I learned a lot from doing that, so I'm familiar with the concept. I'll consciously make feeling statements and I'll see what I learn from doing that.

 

What if, every single day, you spent 5 minutes feeling your body?

 

I'm going to do that every morning for two weeks.

 

Would you and your wife be willing to spend 15 minutes a day for the next month with her stroking your cock (in the Daedone approved fashion, of course )? If your part of it included experiencing your body instead of what you were thinking about, that might work.

 

That's almost what she said Sunday, when we were talking about what I'm learning. She said that I always feel like I have to be touching her. She wants me to just let her touch me for me just to experience that without feeling I have to "do" something. Our sex is mostly weekend, because of the demands of our jobs. (We both work a lot of hours, under a lot of pressure.) After gardening on Saturday, we're generally relaxed and frisky.

 

There are things you cannot think your way into and sexuality and full embodiment are two of them.

 

Thinking through things works for me in a lot of situations, and I think that's what I've been trying to do with sexuality and relationships; to reduce it to an algorithm. Logic is my favorite tool so I try to use it on everything. That needs some more thought.

 

 

... then figure out what makes you feel sexual. Then give yourself permission to do those things.

 

She told me sunday that she wants to explore more. She had given me Fifty Shades to read, and she is interested in some of the bondage stuff. I was shocked! She told me her fantasy is to have sex in different places. I told her we can do that. I think I haven't suggested things because I was afraid of offending the woman. We've been married about three years. This is the first time I've been in a relationship where I felt I could talk about sex, without guarding my words. I think I've always unconsciously thought of sex as something the man has to earn in some way. (My ex told me "Sex is for the man.") I've always felt pressured (See, I used feeling instead of thinking words) to do something to please the woman so she'd want to have sex with me. It was amazingly liberating to know sex was something she wanted. I've always thought I needed to do something to get the woman to want to have sex. Reading the posts from women on these forums, where they talk about their fantasies and desires, has been very enlightening to me.

 

My ex, I always felt pesky when I talked to her about sex. Now, my wife is asking me, almost daily, where I am in the book. She wants to know what they've done (Ana and Grey). You can tell talking about it excites her. That feels very unfamiliar to me, but nice.

 

Thank you for taking the time with me to share your knowledge. I was out her trying to "logic and information" through to my goal, and I realize now that I need a totally new approach. Thank you for that.

[AndrewandAnn 359]

I came here looking for information about swinging. My wife was approached by a coworker, who is a hard-core swinger, about us going to a club with them. I read posts about other experiences. Apparently, the wife lead the husband to it and she does the hard-core dominatrix stuff. After talking about it, we aren't ready for that level of intensity. We're in our early 50's, both decent weight and take care of ourselves.

 

I read a great post where a lady advised people to try the water, not "do a cannonball" into the pool, and that makes sense to me. A while back, we had a get together at our house. It was somewhat sexually charged. We were playing a non-sex-based game, and the ladies were giving sexual answers and the atmosphere was very sexy.

 

We have decided we'd like to explore our sexual development without "doing a cannonball." I've gotten feedback that I don't come off as a highly sexual person, that I come off as somewhat professional and formal. (My wife is in higher education and she comes off somewhat as the professor type, even though in private she's like being in bed with a wildcat.) I would like to explore that side of myself, but I'm not ready for the intensity and risks of full swinging. Could we please have some suggestions on how to further the sexually charged atmosphere at get-togethers, without going into a full-swing environment? Perhaps suggestive games, or whatever. I searched for games on the forums, but the ones I found were more advanced than we're ready for. (Our advanced swinger friends won't be there.)

 

Excellent post.

 

I think you and your wife need to determine what kind of atmosphere YOU want to create for yourselves? What turns you on? What relaxes you? You know what you don't want, right? Now focus on what you DO want.

 

We believe in creating a SENSUAL atmosphere, as opposed to an overtly sexual one; an atmosphere that is secure, calm and relaxed, that appeals to all the senses--sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. Then just let things happen... naturally.

 

Conversely, to us, the idea of the "hard core club scene" is a total turn off on virtually every level.

[Guy1964 177]

Excellent post.

 

I think you and your wife need to determine what kind of atmosphere YOU want to create for yourselves? What turns you on? What relaxes you? You know what you don't want, right? Now focus on what you DO want.

 

We believe in creating a SENSUAL atmosphere, as opposed to an overtly sexual one; an atmosphere that is secure, calm and relaxed, that appeals to all the senses--sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. Then just let things happen... naturally.

 

Conversely, to us, the idea of the "hard core club scene" is a total turn off on virtually every level.

 

Andrew and Ann: Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. It's good to hear that it's OK to be here without being ready for the "full swing" level. I like what you say about things happening naturally. My experience is that if I prepare and keep a positive mind set, then opportunities have a way of presenting themselves. I've learned that if it doesn't happen naturally, then maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I've never gotten anything but trouble from trying to force something that wasn't ready to happen. I appreciate your and mauijanedoe's replies, because I was feeling unsure if we belonged here. Again, thank you for the reply.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

...I was feeling unsure if we belonged here.

 

Just to clarify, although this is the Swingers Board, anyone who wanders in with good will belongs here. You don't actually have to be a swinger, in other words, to get a lot out of the information here and to provide your own advice and perspective.

[AndrewandAnn 359]

Andrew and Ann: Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. It's good to hear that it's OK to be here without being ready for the "full swing" level. I like what you say about things happening naturally. My experience is that if I prepare and keep a positive mind set, then opportunities have a way of presenting themselves. I've learned that if it doesn't happen naturally, then maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I've never gotten anything but trouble from trying to force something that wasn't ready to happen. I appreciate your and mauijanedoe's replies, because I was feeling unsure if we belonged here. Again, thank you for the reply.

 

You're welcome, Guy.

 

Our considered perspective is that the lifestyle is whatever it is that you want it to be. Or not be.

 

And you should not feel the need to yield to pressure one way or the other. Above all, be true to yourselves.

 

Our feeling is that if we create an environment where wonderful things can happen... they probably will ;-)

 

Take care,

 

A & A