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Is the "Hot Wife" lifestyle a part of swinging?  

87 members have voted

  1. 1. Is the "Hot Wife" lifestyle a part of swinging?

    • Yes, if her husband knows and approves
      59
    • No, a couple must be involved in the act.
      5
    • Yes, if the couple talks about her experience afterward.
      14
    • No, it has nothing to do with swinging.
      13


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She has sex with other men, husband doesn't know and he approves she can do it = open relationship.

She has sex with other men, he does not approve = cheating.

She has sex with other men, husband is present but not participating = open relationship.

She has sex with other men, husband is present and participates, men are either bi or straight = swinging.

Cuckolding is like number 3 but the act is done to make him feel degraded, so it is not the same thing as "hotwifing" or open relationship.

 

That is how I see it. I would classify me and my girlfriend as being somewhere between or a mix of: swingers or open relationship, leaning more towards open relationship I think.

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What exactly is the "hot wife" scenario? Don't quite understand it fully?

 

It is when the wife meets other men for sex and the husband gets off on her extracurricular activities. He does not get to meet other women.

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Well we learned a new term and it applies to us. She qualifies as a hotwife, mostly because the lack of women in our area that want to play. She has the freedom to play alone and has enjoyed several guys without my presence. She has played with a couple of the guys we played with as couples because there was no attraction for me with their partners.

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I view the Hotwife lifestyle as a sub-group of swinging. It does fall under the heading of swinging, but definitely is a different type of play. Hotwifing is as much of an attitude to us as the physical aspect of me fucking another guy. Hotwifing to me is where the wife alone plays while the husband remains faithful. Closely related to the Cuckold. Although when you mention cuckold, it brings up the husband as a submissive aspect. Hotwifing allows the husband not to be submissive. But this is just my opinion. I am a Hotwife and I live it.

 

Tara

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Which in my opinion isn't swinging. Calling pretty much every alternative sex activity swinging means as swingers we would have to invent a new word for what we do.

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I would say it is. Even though the husband may not be physically interacting with others, he is mentally interacting by supporting his wife, feeding on the experience as part of his/their sexual foreplay. Then after she returns, he does become sexual fueled by the experience. Now if you have a husband who sits at home and is totally not interested, then I would say that is not really hotwifing, and wouldn't be swinging at all, it would be just the wife fucking other guys.

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our definition is where the wife dates other guys while the husband stays faithful. Part of the experience is that the wife and husband use the experience of the wife dating others to fuel their own sex life. Even though the husband is not with others, he gets sexual gratification from his wife's date. Usually through the planning, then the after play with his wife when she returns. Hotwifing is very close to the cuckold experience, but without the submissiveness of the husband.

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See my wife and I would identify as "swingers".

 

You would identify as a "hot wife".

 

This has meaning. As swingers it means we fuck other people, and most specifically other couples.

 

As a hot wife it has meaning too. You go out and do other guys without your husband but he knows and gets off on it.

 

Now let's say we are introduced and you are introduced as swingers to us. Calling you a swinger has no useful information. You are not into what we are and we are not into what you do.

 

Hotwifing does share some aspects with swinging but so does Football and Rugby, and they don't call themselves the same thing.

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Agree somewhat with just about everyone, but just need some clarification.

 

So hypothetically, my wife goes out and plays with her single guy a week ago, I get turned on by her telling me the story.

 

I go out a few days ago and play with my single girl, and wife gets turned on by hearing the story.

 

Yesterday we played with a couple together.

 

In the same time span, the wife and I played with each other about 20 times.

 

So… exactly what label do I wear? I know we don’t have an “open” relationship (by my definition), But not sure if we are swingers with “hall passes”, or am I a cuck or hotwifing? Or is the wife a cuck queen? *Standing by with the Sharpie*

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When did football and rugby start sharing aspects of swinging? I find that far more confusing than the knowledge that Chicup thinks hotwifing isn't swinging.

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Here's another way of looking at it. If you told someone in the general public that "My spouse and I have casual sex with other couples", the reply would most likely be "So, you're swingers, right?"

 

If you told someone else "I go have casual sex with other guys while my husband stays at home, and he gets a kick out of my adventures", I'm not sure what the reply would be. Probably not "You're swingers then, right?"

 

I don't really have a dog in this fight though, so make of it what you will.

 

Oh, and another scenario just came to me:

If you told someone else "I go have casual sex with other women while my wife stays at home, and she gets a kick out of my adventures", the reply would probably be "You dirty, no good bastard".

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. . . .

If you told someone else "I go have casual sex with other women while my wife stays at home, and she gets a kick out of my adventures", the reply would probably be "You dirty, no good bastard".

You've stated that accurately. There ain't no such animal as a hothusband.

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Here's another way of looking at it. If you told someone in the general public that "My spouse and I have casual sex with other couples", the reply would most likely be "So, you're swingers, right?"

 

If you told someone else "I go have casual sex with other guys while my husband stays at home, and he gets a kick out of my adventures", I'm not sure what the reply would be. Probably not "You're swingers then, right?"

 

I don't really have a dog in this fight though, so make of it what you will.

 

The issue I have with blanket pronouncements of what is and is not swinging (and possibly rugby and football) is that swingers may be engaging in activities that clearly are swinging one night and in activities that have been declared "not swinging" on another. As -jb- noted, do we say the couple are only swingers when their recreational swinging activities fit in a narrow band or are they swingers who also hotwife (or hot wax or whatever) or do we just declare victory and move on, because the more sex the better?

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If you do swinging and hot wife, you are swingers and "hot wifers". I fail to see how this is a problem. The blanket group would be alternative lifestyle, not swinging.

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Hell yeah it is! Even when I'm off with another couple or guy it is still all about my husband and me. The kink of sex with others outside our marriage is what we enjoy about all of this. I enjoy knowing he enjoys it and vice versa. He gets a lot out of my dates...waaay more than the people I'm on the date with!

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We don't consider ourselves traditional swingers in the sense that both husband and wife plays. My husband does not play at all other than with me. Although we do to go swingers clubs, it is only to find single guys to play with. Since I am not bi, I don't do couples, and my husband does not swap at all. There are times where he may play with me and another male, but that is rare. Mostly is it me playing alone at a club while he waits or sometimes watches. Or our favorite is for me to date guys without the hubby. Since I only date BBC, this works out well for us. Is hotwifing swinging? We consider it a sub-group and do not identify ourselves as swingers.

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      DAN: Jenn?
       
      DAN: U ok?
       
      DAN: JENN?!?
       
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      JENN: nifht
       
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      <<<>>>
       
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      "Yeah, I did," Jenn admitted. "He asked about the picture, about why I'd taken it... and I told him about...
       
      "You always go on about your pervy fantasies," Jenn continued. "About wanting me to... to fuck another guy. We talked about it at the airport. I took my panties off, right at the elevators. I didn't tell you: the doors to that elevator opened right after I took them off, a second after I sent you the picture in front of them. Two guys got off. They saw me. I know they did. They saw me standing there with my panties in my hand, my dress hiked up. They saw my pussy. They didn't say anything, but I know they saw. How could they not have?
       
      "It turned me on. Riding down in that elevator, with no panties on. Knowing those guys had seen. It turned me on so much. So, when I got to bar, when Tim finally told me he'd seen me taking a picture of my pussy, right there at the bar... I was so turned on. I told him. I told him my man had told me to take my panties off. That you wanted me to flash guys at the bar. So, he offered to take another pic for me and I flashed my boob at him... and like, half the bar. I bet so many guys saw.
       
      "I was so turned on... and Tim was nice... so, I told him. I told him your fantasy... about me fucking another guy."
       
      "... and he decided to be that guy," Dan concluded.
       
      "No," Jenn snapped. "I decided. You kept talking about your fantasy, and it became my fantasy. Tim was nice and he was flirty but even after I told... after I told him about the fantasy, he didn't push. He hinted a lot, but he didn't assume or insist. So, I decided. I invited back to my room."
       
      "... and fucked him," Dan said.
       
      "Yes," Jenn answered confidently, "I did. I fucked him. I stripped for him and I sucked his cock. He has a really nice cock, Dan... almost as nice as yours. He played with my tits and he ate my pussy and then... then he entered me and it felt so good. Oh god, Dan, it felt nasty and wicked and so very good. He fucked me and fucked me."
       
      "He was fucking you when I texted," Dan repeated.
       
      "He heard my phone. He stopped, to check it," Jenn replied. "When he saw it was you... he just flipped me over, face down, and pushed back inside me. He told me I should answer. It really turned him on. He just went wild. I think he wanted me to call you, but I texted instead."
       
      There was another silence.
       
      "It's really hard to type," Jenn added lamely. "When someone is fucking you that hard."
       
      Dan laughed. Suddenly, unexpected, he just started laughing. He couldn't help it. He just laughed and laughed. Slowly, Jenn started laughing too, until finally the two of them were just laughing uncontrollably over the phone. All the tension between them bled away. Almost all. The knot in Dan's stomach, at least, was gone. His raging hard-on, he thought, was in danger of doing him serious injury.
       
      "Are you... ok?" Jenn said as the laughter finally faded.
       
      "Are you wearing panties?" Dan asked.
       
      "What?!" Jenn replied, shocked. "Yes!"
       
      "Well, take them off," Dan demanded. "Right now, take 'em off. Sluts like you don't wear panties."
      "Dan!" Jenn exclaimed, shocked by his use of the word 'slut.'
       
      "What, I'm a perv for wanting this," Dan said firmly. "You're a slut for doing it. In fact, I think no more underwear for you for the rest of the conference. No bra, no panties. Nothing."
       
      There was a long pause, then Jenn replied, "Ok."
       
      "So," Dan said. "Take 'em off."
       
      "Dan," Jenn hissed, "I can't... not right this second. I'm in the hotel lobby."
       
      "So, everyone in the lobby heard you yell about getting fucked," Dan replied.
       
      "God." Jenn's embarrassment was plain. "I know, but I'm not taking off my panties for them."
       
      She paused, "Wait a second."
       
      Dan could almost hear her moving across the lobby.
       
      "Where are you?" Jenn asked.
       
      "At home, in my office," Dan replied. "Where are you going?"
       
      "Ladies' room, dummy," Jenn replied.
       
      "Men's," Dan said firmly.
       
      "I can't," Jenn whispered, shocked.
       
      "Do it," Dan insisted.
       
      "Shit, shit, shit," Jenn hissed into her phone. "Ok, perv, I'm in the Men's but I'm going into a stall... and it's empty so no one has seen me."
       
      "Yet, slut," Dan chuckled.
       
      Dan heard her muttering and shifting for a moment.
       
      "OK," Jenn said when she was done. "They're off."
       
      "Panties and bra?" Dan asked firmly.
       
      "Yes, you perv," Jenn replied hotly. "but you're out of luck because this skirt is a professional length."
       
      "I bet your blouse looks nice too," Dan grinned.
       
      "Shit," Jenn snapped.
       
      "How wet are you?" Dan asked.
       
      "Perv," Jenn shot back.
       
      "Tell me," he insisted.
       
      "Oh god, I'm soaked, OK," Jenn replied. "I'm completely horny and you're probably lucky there's no one else in here."
       
      She paused a moment before asking, "How hard are you?"
       
      "I'm so hard, honey," Dan replied. "I can't believe how hard all this has made me."
       
      "I can," Jenn actually giggled, then groaned.
       
      "Are you touching yourself?" Dan asked, a little shocked.
       
      "That's what you want, isn't it?" Jenn purred into the phone. "I'm here, in the Men's restroom, with my skirt hiked up around my thighs, touching my dripping pussy. It feels good, Dan. It feel nasty and dirty and so good."
       
      "Just like last night," Dan prompted, reaching into his own pants.
       
      "Oh yes," Jenn moaned. "When he touched me, I just shivered. I knew it was what we'd talked about, but doing it... I felt like such a bad girl and that just made it better. Oh, Dan, when he put his cock in me, it was so... ahh... so good."
       
      "You dirty slut," Dan groaned.
       
      "Tell me you're stroking it," Jenn growled. "Tell me you're holding that beautiful hard cock."
       
      "I am," Dan replied.
       
      "Say it," Jenn demanded.
       
      "I'm stroking my hard... uhh... hard... cock," Dan groaned.
       
      "You're thinking about him fucking me, aren't you," Jenn panted. "About him inside me. His big cock... ahhh... so big... in my pussy. My wet little pussy, all stretched out around his... uhhh... big cock... as he fucked... fucked... oh god... fucked me."
       
      "Oh shit," Dan moaned. "Oh honey..."
       
      "That's it, Dan," Jenn panted, "cum for me. Cum... ahhh... cum with me."
       
      "Shit!" Dan roared, his body spasming.
       
      "Oh God!" Jenn shrieked into her phone.
       
      For a time, the both sat panting through the phone at each other.
       
      "I can't believe," Jenn gasped out, "that I just rubbed one out in a Men's hotel restroom."
       
      "Slut," Dan teased. "Call me after your seminars are done."
       
      "Perv," Jenn replied.
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