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The Fuse

Kissing: "active tongue" or "slow tongue"?

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Tonight we were at a house party. We were in the hot tub and I started making out with a guy I'd seen earlier and thought was attractive. He was quite cute... but he had what I'd consider an over-active tongue during kissing.

 

Does anyone else find that there's something of a divide between people who kiss slowly, use their tongues slowly, use their lips etc., and people who seem to stick it in there and wiggle it like a teletubby on five cups of coffee?

 

I'm just curious. It's obvious from my post which I prefer... but I'm only one person. I am wondering what others think.

 

Oh, and we tend to find that "over-active tongue" people tend to come in couples, which makes sense. Over time you get used to how your SO kisses, and each person's kissing style probably evolves to become more like theirs whether or not we realize it.

 

Comments?

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I think that I like to change it up based on the mood. If we're in an intense "need to rip off your clothes right now and fuck" kind of mood then my kissing and tongue action would be more aggressive and active. If we're in that sensual enjoying the moment kind of mood then a more passionate, slow and deliberate kiss would come out. I've often wondered though whether I'm a good kisser, or if I just lucked out that Katrina likes the way I kiss. Never gotten any comments good or bad from any of our playmates.

 

We did have one couple we played with where the girl just flat out couldn't kiss. Worst kisser I've ever been with! She'd keep her mouth closed and would just dart her tongue out. Very strange.

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people who seem to stick it in there and wiggle it like a teletubby on five cups of coffee?

 

My sense of humor is considerably dulled, due to it being 5:30 in the morning, but I laughed my ass off at this. It's not my cup o' tea, but it sure sounds like it could be fun for oral action!

 

Me? I like it slow, strong, and passionate. When things are especially hot, my strokes are a little more forceful and longer/sweeping, but the pace is pretty similar. I like it the same way that I give it, but it's not a make or break type situation.

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From only one person have I had a kiss while she did the move-it-around-like-you're-cleaning-out-the-inside-of-a-peanut-butter-jar action that you described. I remember thinking "somebody told this woman at some time in her life that a French kiss was good but failed to completely describe the technique." I did not think to ask JoAnn if her spouse does the same. I think I will.

 

~Michael

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I'm a more enthusiastic kisser than PB- he tends to be more slow on bringing the tongue into the action, whereas I jump right in there. I do get a lot of positive comments on my kissing, but he does just fine too. and it's not that we don't enjoy kissing each other, just we adapt our paces to come up with an in-between that makes us both happy.

 

The first couple we played with- he loooved kissing me, and no wonder, because his wife seemed unable to open her mouth to kiss properly, which made kissing her a very unsatisfying experience (both PB and I agreed on that) Which was odd, because she had no trouble opening her mouth sufficiently for other purposes.

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From only one person have I had a kiss while she did the move-it-around-like-you're-cleaning-out-the-inside-of-a-peanut-butter-jar action that you described. I remember thinking "somebody told this woman at some time in her life that a French kiss was good but failed to completely describe the technique." I did not think to ask JoAnn if her spouse does the same. I think I will.

 

~Michael

 

I hope you let us know the answer :). For me and Mr. Fuse, we come across the extreme tongue-wigglers every once in a while.

 

Don't get me wrong, I love tongue, I love wiggling, I love all the variations... especially when giving or receiving oral. But I wouldn't just start out that way when kissing someone, like a metronome that's been wound up tightly. Our second full swap was with a pair like this, and we had a good time. Just part of the adventure. I hope more people post with their experiences -- this is very entertaining!

 

I'm sure I'm alienating some people and seeming too critical. I enjoyed kissing the guy last night... it was just one of those sexual compatibility things and I found it distracting rather than seductive. Sort of like when someone wants to be fucked slow and sensual but you'd rather get pounded, or vice versa, or someone likes full-body contact but you'd rather sit back and watch your uglies bump. It's not that one's always better than the other. It's all about what each person likes or is in the mood for.

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like a metronome that's been wound up tightly.

 

You should just make a list of these. They crack me up.

 

I agree that it is a package deal. A couple is going to naturally find a "happy middle" when it comes to most everything - and I usually start from a "base" of "my wife likes this." Paying attention as the play unfolds helps you match the rhythm of your partner, but since we tend to go in blind with a new playmate, we start from what we know.

 

I've had compliments on my kissing, but are those women who just happen to like my style? Am I really not as good as they say? Could be.

 

And it is obvious you are not putting down variety at all (it is a fun thread, for sure!) and I need to mirror that thought: the fun is in the variety for me. I don't really want a playmate who looks, kisses, fucks like Mrs Spoo. She is amazing, but let's explore something new, right?

 

Then again - there are some variations of certain things that I have simply not enjoyed at all - and some that have been "okay" without being anything special.

 

Maybe a kissing study is in order. What is the most common kissing style? How does it change as the passion ramps up, if it does at all? Are we more "mixing bowl" as a species or more "cover of a romance novel"?

 

I usually start off slow, but there have been those times where the first kiss has almost been a collision. The chemistry and the moment kind of dictate. But I do wonder if you'd have a funny line for my version of kissing.

 

Spoomonkey

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I hope you let us know the answer :). For me and Mr. Fuse, we come across the extreme tongue-wigglers every once in a while.
I asked JoAnn if she recalled whether or not the tongue woman's husband kissed this way. She says no.

 

I too will make myself clear. The kisses I received to which I was not accustomed did not then and do not now reduce the enjoyment I gain from keeping company with this woman. As you have all pointed out, couples and people come as a package.

 

I always have to wonder if the people whom I wrote about in these forums might be members of Swingersboard, read and wonder, "Is he writing about me?" It happened once -- at least once to my knowledge as the person sent a Private Message asking, "Were you talking about me?"

 

~M

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...people who seem to stick it in there and wiggle it like a teletubby on five cups of coffee?...

 

Which Teletubby?

 

Just curious...

 

Thrax

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Laa-Laa, of course, given the subject of this thread.

 

For another way of describing over-active tongue, how about "took kissing lessons from the tail of a happy Chihuahua"?

 

...or, "trying to make the fastest possible in-mouth Spirograph drawing"?

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Up until recently, I would've had no idea what this thread was about. I've kissed a lot of girls in my life (not meaning to brag or anything), but a few weeks ago I ran into my first "Teletubby on crack" LOL. Every girl I've ever kissed was more the "slow and sensual" type, but this chick acted like she was playing a freaking banjo with her tongue. Kinda caught me off guard, and I had to fight back a chuckle so I didn't embarrass her or myself, LOL. I definitely prefer a more slow and deliberate approach.

 

Raises an interesting question though. My lovely wife has never kissed this particular girl's SO, so now I'm kinda curious to see if he's the same way. Of course I could just ask one of the girls that has kissed him, but I think it would be more fun to just sick Mrs. Q on him and get a report later. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. :kissface::D

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{snip}

 

this chick acted like she was playing a freaking banjo with her tongue.

 

Ha ha ha! Good one!

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We have also ran into the full face licker ...like the happy tounge but misses the target a bit more....keep it in the mouth please..

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I played with a guy who stuck his tongue in my nose.... again and again.. thought it was sexy... I don't play with him any more.

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PB&J said:
I played with a guy who stuck his tongue in my nose.... again and again.. thought it was sexy... I don't play with him any more.

 

:eek:

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I agree, Spoomonkey. NOT a turn-on for me. My reaction was pretty much :wtf3:

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I played with a guy who stuck his tongue in my nose.... again and again.. thought it was sexy... I don't play with him any more.

 

Well that is something I never expected to hear.

 

Ew! Did you tell him you didn't like it? What happened?

 

Anyone out there identify themselves as "active tongue" kissers?

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I guess I never thought about it but I think my tongue is more active on nipples and in pussies than mouths. In the former the goal is to make things happen; in the latter the object is to lightly tease.

 

I will also say that softly sucking on the tongue is welcomed but is quite painful, and thus a turn-off, when sucked hard.

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Ew! Did you tell him you didn't like it? What happened?

 

Well, I was sort of taken aback, didn't say anything hoping that it wouldn't be repeated- it was- and there were enough other "chemistry issues" that what they had hoped would be a long-term "thing" was not going to be. So I didn't go into details with him, just said we didn't mesh very well. If only he'd done that before we'd gotten into bed together, that would have been a good thing. (as in we would NOT have gotten into bed together)

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I swear, I think I say this in darned near every post regarding preferences, but here I go again. For me, it's a mood thing. Sure, slow and sensual is definitely hot, especially if you're starting slow or someone's feeling a bit tentative. But fast and active is great when you're in a "Fuck. Me. Now." kinda' mood.

 

That said, I wouldn't be too keen on the pb-jar cleaner type, or the hyper Teletubby.

 

=)

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Interesting comment on the kissing style coming as couples. I don't know if they evolve or perhaps that just what they like so they are attracted to the same.

 

I prefer somewhere in the middle. I hate "dead tongue". If you are going to stick it in my mouth you better be doing something with it, or I will suck it (whether you like it or not). And I hate over-active tongue (really do you need to lick the roof of my mouth?).

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Guest LingerieKarla

My Opinion: There isn't anything better that kissing a woman nice and slow.

 

Good question.:)

 

 

Tonight we were at a house party. We were in the hot tub and I started making out with a guy I'd seen earlier and thought was attractive. He was quite cute... but he had what I'd consider an over-active tongue during kissing.

 

Does anyone else find that there's something of a divide between people who kiss slowly, use their tongues slowly, use their lips etc., and people who seem to stick it in there and wiggle it like a teletubby on five cups of coffee?

 

I'm just curious. It's obvious from my post which I prefer... but I'm only one person. I am wondering what others think.

 

Oh, and we tend to find that "over-active tongue" people tend to come in couples, which makes sense. Over time you get used to how your SO kisses, and each person's kissing style probably evolves to become more like theirs whether or not we realize it.

 

Comments?

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Since we just started swinging last year I had not kissed another woman other than my wonderful wife for a long long time. It's amazing how many different types of kissers there are out there. Some fast, some slow, some real good, but as many have said it depends on the moment. As for the nose licker that's just plain weird. My favorite is still my wife.

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Guest erotichugs

Rose here:.. it does depend on the mood.. but slow yet strong.. not mushy is the best...

 

Mo here: for me slow and sensual is always the best...

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As with all things related to sex, it depends entirely upon the mood and situation.

 

If Mrs. CXXC and I are in the mood for slow, passionate sex, we expect the playmate to match the tempo with us.

 

When we are in that "Take it/Give it to me like the slut you/I am!" mood, fast and furious works perfectly!

 

We too cannot suffer the dead tongue. As kissing is such an important part of the "Turn-on" for us, good kissing is rewarded by an equal ferver.

 

Sucking on the tongue is fun. Nibbling is also nice at times. Licking the roof of the mouth is not a good idea.

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Kissing is a most important part of foreplay for me.It starts my engines going. I would consider myself "active tongue'' person.:D but usually can adapt to the style of my partner if I can.

 

I go slow and passionate first and try to match to my playmate's style and rhythm then I would do little more and active and watch for response.

By our kissing I usually decide if I am going to play or not. However, couples experiences are different then singles.

When I play with single man I carefully choose my pray and may go around in circles flirting, mingling, kissing, dancing trying to pick the one I feel more chemistry with and won't settle for something less.

When we play with couples I am more willing to adapt to everybody and kissing isn't the priority as long as he is more less attractive and can get it hard.:D

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Like others have said, it depends on the mood. I don't like the "dead tongue" action (or lack thereof). My hubby is an active tongue kisser and sometimes I have to get him to slow down to a pace that is more soulful. I have to say one of the best kisses I have been on the receiving end of was a teaser kiss - open mouth, little tongue, slow breaths, and a bit of pulling back away from the kiss. Yeah, that made me want him more - too bad the sex wasn't as good:(

 

I like to suck the tongue, nibble the lips, slowly kiss, and work up to a more active pace.

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