Why, why, why do they lie about weight?

[Expulsion 40]

Yeah - I could measure myself out to eight inches ... but I'd have to start with the ruler up my ass! (*laughing*)

 

Oh no, the thoughts of splinters. Bahahaha!

[exploringRM 305]

I gotta vent a little..though this topic will never be resolved

 

I'm always looking a profiles (mostly on SLS as the new ones go flying by on the main screen) as well as profiles of people in chat. My main interest is their location and what are then into (full/soft, MFM, FMF or MFMF, etc).

 

I see soooo many profiles were the weight is listed as zero..AND the pictures are very obscure hiding the person's size. People..YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. Why do people think that listing zero as the weight and not showing a full body pic (clothed is fine) changes things?

 

And this is not a rant against overweight people, my wife is a probably 30 pounds over, I'm about 15 over and many of our play partners are not thin...just your average middle age America.

[Lone_Wolf_395 15]

I have always been from the camp that it does not matter what one's weight is as long as they don't have fingers the size of some sausages. There is a limit, I would say with everyone and yet everyone's criteria different. This is were meeting for drinks/dinner/coffee, etc. without any expectations beyond would be the most prudent way to go. Afterall, if you end up with a nice dinner and conversation and simply walk away, you then just had a nice dinner and conversation. Not a bad thing, really. Maybe you end up finding out you have things in common, but not attracted to playing together. Okay, so you become friends/activity friends with no expectations. Again, not a bad thing. You have a dinner date and your date(s) are rude, lack appeal and you can't wait for the check to come. Fine, that's bad and you will probably never see each other again.

 

I know I had just put things in simplistic terms and life is never simple. But, I do think you are in control of your destiny and while somebody "lying" about their weight gives you the rub, there could be a valid excuse. Such as, they have not updated their profile after gaining the weight for an undisclosed valid reason. Yes, they should then be more diligent in maintaining their profile. I guess what I am trying to say is that don't get too wound up over that detail unless it becomes obvious they were trying to run a smoke screen and are disingenuous. At that point, you would have every right to be agitated.

 

I am not chiding, patronizing, or admonishing anyone who has had such an encounter. I am merely hoping to shine a light on the subject from a different angle so that people's perspective could end up different and adjustments can be made accordingly.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

People, calm down. Having zero appear as your weight is not the same as lying about your weight. It is hiding your weight.

 

On the Web site in question, the Swinglifestyle Web site, if you enter nothing about your weight, it appears in your profile as zero. This leaves a wide open field of reasons that the zero appears. There is a ninety-five pound woman of my acquaintance who appears as zero in the on-line profile she shares with her husband.

 

OK, so here is where I get to my real point. If zero is distasteful to you, just pass it by. There are tens of thousands of others who are waiting for you and who are proudly displaying their mass multiplied by gravitational constant. Go for one of them.

[exploringRM 305]

SW_PA_Couple said:

People, calm down. Having zero appear as your weight is not the same as lying about your weight. It is hiding your weight.

 

On the Web site in question, the Swinglifestyle Web site, if you enter nothing about your weight, it appears in your profile as zero. This leaves a wide open field of reasons that the zero appears. There is a ninety-five pound woman of my acquaintance who appears as zero in the on-line profile she shares with her husband.

 

OK, so here is where I get to my real point. If zero is distasteful to you, just pass it by. There are tens of thousands of others who are waiting for you and who are proudly displaying their mass multiplied by gravitational constant. Go for one of them.

 

Point taken, it is hiding ones weight. I've been home for the past few days and hot lots of time to profile surf as well as chat. I was annoyed at a number of profile lacks (weight, pictures, details entered and seeing this topic again made me want to vent) If the profile is obscure, including weight, I do pass them by.

[SexyRedmondCpl 128]

... proudly displaying their mass multiplied by gravitational constant...

 

I don't lie about my weight, I just measure it in a smaller planet's gravity.

 

But seriously... Our profile has our weights both off (on the low side) by about 20 pounds. The main reason is that I simply don't ever think to update that portion of the profile. For that matter, we were two years too young until just recently.

 

If I had to pick a reason for consciously ignoring the weight field, it goes back to a point that CXXC made earlier - weight doesn't tell you anything about a persons body composition. We're both highly active people. Biking to work daily, weights, kung fu, and so on. Since muscle weighs more than fat, we're both "overweight" by a good margin. Why disqualify ourselves like that. We pick a weight which roughly approximates our body shape, and post accurate pictures that don't try to hide anything. Deceptive? Maybe? But it's all about getting people in the door.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Deceptive? Maybe? But it's all about getting people in the door.

 

And there we have the answer to the question posed by the OP.

 

If this seems cranky, it's because I am. I'm tired and the "be nice" filter is off.

[xxxboxy 139]

Feisty can be fun....

[exploringRM 305]

I don't lie about my weight, I just measure it in a smaller planet's gravity.

 

But seriously... Our profile has our weights both off (on the low side) by about 20 pounds. The main reason is that I simply don't ever think to update that portion of the profile. For that matter, we were two years too young until just recently.

 

If I had to pick a reason for consciously ignoring the weight field, it goes back to a point that CXXC made earlier - weight doesn't tell you anything about a persons body composition. We're both highly active people. Biking to work daily, weights, kung fu, and so on. Since muscle weighs more than fat, we're both "overweight" by a good margin. Why disqualify ourselves like that. We pick a weight which roughly approximates our body shape, and post accurate pictures that don't try to hide anything. Deceptive? Maybe? But it's all about getting people in the door.

 

As long as the pictures (and listed height) somewhat coincides with the listed weight listed that does not bother me.

[SexyRedmondCpl 128]

And there we have the answer to the question posed by the OP.

 

If this seems cranky, it's because I am. I'm tired and the "be nice" filter is off.

 

I don't think it's cranky at all. In fact, it does a good job of pointing out that my phrasing is not always the best either. The way I put that, I guess it honestly sounds malicious or manipulative... I'm tired too

 

I guess what I mean to say is that weight - as a number without visual context - means very little. And, unfortunately, the 32x32 thumbnail on the Swing Lifestyle search page doesn't usually provide any valuable visual information. How you carry that weight is far more important, but most people see just a number and move on. Since it's such a weeder criterion, I'm not surprised that most people "fake it."

 

Now, I acknowledge that the context from the OP is that of people with inaccurate weight/photo combos, and people who don't fudge it to sound like they look - but rather who talk themselves to a size 10 from a size 18. And, in that case, I agree. If it's visually obvious, why even bother? But if it's not, where's the harm? Unless you begin your meets with, "Nice to meet you. Step on this scale, please," would you even notice?

 

Again, apples to oranges, so sorry to enflame. Some days I just can't help but be Devil's advocate

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

Point taken, it is hiding ones weight. I've been home for the past few days and hot lots of time to profile surf as well as chat. I was annoyed at a number of profile lacks (weight, pictures, details entered and seeing this topic again made me want to vent) If the profile is obscure, including weight, I do pass them by.

People should be proud of whom they are and everything they are. Should not hide weight or lie about weight. I stepped on the scale today. 195 pound-mass. Considering my height, I'm in the red part of the chart that says body-mass index. But proud of it.

[ClosetSwinger 112]

I admit, I don't list my weight.

 

I leave it blank (don't throw knives).

 

That being said I am very honest in our profile that we both have "a few extra pounds" and that I am curvy. I am by no means skinny but I am not HUGE either. If someone emails us I send CURRENT pohotos of both myself and my husband. I have never sent pictures that are years old or that misreresent who we are.

 

I am sensitive of my weight, it's been a struggle all of my life, i go up and down and up and down. That's why I do not list it. If people do not want to contact me because I don't have it listed then that's their loss. Most women I know don't go around telling men they are going to potentially sleep with what they weigh. I feel like as long as I send them actual pictures that are current then they know what we look like and can decide what they want to do from there. WE don't have a hard time finding play partners either.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I admit, I don't list my weight.

 

I leave it blank (don't throw knives).

 

That being said I am very honest in our profile that we both have "a few extra pounds" and that I am curvy. I am by no means skinny but I am not HUGE either. If someone emails us I send CURRENT pohotos of both myself and my husband. I have never sent pictures that are years old or that misreresent who we are.

 

I am sensitive of my weight, it's been a struggle all of my life, i go up and down and up and down. That's why I do not list it. If people do not want to contact me because I don't have it listed then that's their loss. Most women I know don't go around telling men they are going to potentially sleep with what they weigh. I feel like as long as I send them actual pictures that are current then they know what we look like and can decide what they want to do from there. WE don't have a hard time finding play partners either.

I don't think this thread is aimed at you. It's not the same thing at all. If you were listing your weight as twenty or thirty pounds less than actual, that would be a lie and a substantial misrepresentation of what you look like. You're not doing that.

[UnicornChasers 15]

I'd just like to point out that if people are using BMI to determine if someone is overweight... just don't... especially for males that do muscle building workouts or physical labor.

 

According to BMI I am smack dab in the middle of overweight, which if you look at my pics, you would know they are wrong.

 

But on topic, we hate all sorts of lying on profiles, it wastes our time. Weight, and more accurately, body composition is very important to us. We are both in shape people, and anything over HWP is just not what we are into.

 

The other thing that annoys me, are profiles that are single females and turn out to be half of a couple. Even if you yourself made the profile, advertise who is going to be involved so you don't show up on my search list. Sorry, brief aside .

[The Fuse 1,012]

Tonight we are planning to meet a couple who has a typical profile: pictures of incredibly hot woman, no pictures of the guy. They should post pictures of this guy, especially if they were also going to report weight (it's AFF so they just ask about body type). He is 5'7" and probably weighs around 195 or so, and it looks to be all muscle.

 

This is a prime example where if they were on SLS, which asks about weight, they should post his real weight AND PICTURES. If people lie about their weight because they don't think they look like "the number", then they should simply post pictures and either leave the weight blank (or zero) or post their real weight but with an obvious picture. No one will miss the picture if it is right up front.

[shy_couple 448]

We are one of those couples who do not list her weighton SLS. SLS allows you to put in a weight of 0. On TheSwingSite we have a free account but she is listed about 20-25 lbs lighter than she actually is. We are not trying to deceive but some people use an arbitrary cut off weight and would rule us out based on that alone. She is listed as a curvy, plus sized girl (16-18). We do show a couple of good shots of us together from about knees up to get a good idea of our body type and a good idea of what we look like.

[exploringRM 305]

We are one of those couples who do not list her weighton Swing Lifestyle. Swing Lifestyle allows you to put in a weight of 0. On TheSwingSite we have a free account but she is listed about 20-25 lbs lighter than she actually is. We are not trying to deceive but some people use an arbitrary cut off weight and would rule us out based on that alone. She is listed as a curvy, plus sized girl (16-18). We do show a couple of good shots of us together from about knees up to get a good idea of our body type and a good idea of what we look like.

 

The combination of what you posted seems fine to me. The fact that you list curvy, plus sized, etc describes you in real life and you are comfortable with yourself. It's the profiles where people try to hide their appearance (for whatever reasoin) that bother me.

[sjsl 15]

I'd just like to point out that if people are using BMI to determine if someone is overweight... just don't... especially for males that do muscle building workouts or physical labor.

 

According to BMI I am smack dab in the middle of overweight, which if you look at my pics, you would know they are wrong.

 

But on topic, we hate all sorts of lying on profiles, it wastes our time. Weight, and more accurately, body composition is very important to us. We are both in shape people, and anything over HWP is just not what we are into.

 

The other thing that annoys me, are profiles that are single females and turn out to be half of a couple. Even if you yourself made the profile, advertise who is going to be involved so you don't show up on my search list. Sorry, brief aside .

 

Whether its weight or a profile of a single woman that has a partner, it is all about information. Profiles need to have as much info as possible, otherwise people will contact you that you have no interest in or they wont like you. We both smoke, many non-smokers dont want to be around smokers, they would be pissed if we left that out. Just as a full swap couple would not bother to contact you if you included the info that you are soft swap if they only wanted full swap. It is much easier to say or show as much about yourself right from the start. Weight just seems to be a touchier issue than all the others.

[ruggedteddybear 15]

Women lie about weight and guys lie about penis size...just the facts of life. Both seem pointless because you can't cover it up forever unless you never actually intend to meet in the first place. To me its all about personality. Honesty is huge. A larger couple that is straight forward and open/honest that you can be comfortable with and know there are no secrets is much more appealing to me than a ken and barbie with horrible personality traits.

 

As many have stated...if they will lie about one thing they will lie about other stuff to.

[dave110256 21]

If I ever dared to guess my wife's weight......I don't want to think about it. When a guy asks me what she weighs I just say "average" and if they're stupid enough to ask her they don't have a chance. I will give her correct height though. I have a pretty good idea as to what her weight is but the written word is too permanent.....and dangerous to a relationship. We do send a recent :surrend:picture to an interested person if we get that far though.

I (the husband) am 5'11" and weigh EXACTLY 171 pounds. Oh, and my penis is average in size I always thought but the 2 guys we've met with have each said they're over 7 inches and thick???? and I always thought I was only about 6 inches and I am wayyyyy larger than either one of them. Maybe guys are measuring in centimeters?

Anyway, I'll stick to my 6 inch story and won't disappoint if we ever meet with another woman I hope.

[SecretAsianMan 348]

I always try to "under-sell" when it comes to things like penis-size or sexual duration ... that way I don't get them expected too much of me.

 

My favorite jokes include things along the lines ... "An HOUR?? ...Does that include the time it takes for me drive over to your place??"

 

As far as weight is concerned ... I'm very honest about that.

[justinandtricia 23]

I would suspect that they lie, even if the intention is to engage in a meeting. They are banking on the disappointment of you wasting time energy and money on a hotel for a sexual experience being more unbearable than the disappointment of you finding out that they are fatties or ugly or whatever it is they are lying about. Basically they are hoping you will fuck them anyway, even if you arent attracted to them because you have already invested into a sexual encounter.

 

I admit, my weight fluctuates, I'm nearly 6ft tall and run an average weight of about 140 pounds(which is really skinny for a man as tall as I am) but its mainly because of the regiment of prednisone that I am on to control crohns disease(not an std, its a hereditary immune disorder where my immune system attacks the food i eat as it passes through my digestive track) so my weight usually fluctuates between 135 and 160 pounds depending on my dosage of immune suppressant steroid that i take. So it is possible to have dramatic weight fluctuations of 30 to 40 pounds, but very, very rare and unlikely.

[MulderNScully 19]

I just stumbled to look at this topic and I got to say we've been pretty open and up front about our weight situation. Since October 2009 we've been loosing weight together for a combined weight loss of 135lbs. We're hoping to loose a bit more, but I'm 6-7 and I think the height situation scares people off more than the weight sometimes. Then again, if I saw 300lbs. too I think I'd take pause a bit.

 

We try to be upfront about it because we'd expect the same from the couples we engage--both on and off line--and if we find out they lied to us we tend to think "if they lied about this then what are they going to lie about later?