Guys: What WOULD interest you in BI play?

[bill&sabrina 22]

They just seem to be the group that whines the most about it...

 

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Obviously things aren't going to be changed for us.

[ShellyM 1]

On the subject of bi males. Well, you are who you are; like some women are bisexual so are some men. I'm not getting into the right or wrong of this, we are who we are.

 

Yes, it is a double standard I suppose. But like Spoo said, it is not the only double standard in swinging or in society for that matter. Hey, there are parties that we aren't invited to because I am a straight woman and they are looking for bi females. Does that make them wrong? Not in my opinion it does not. They are just avoiding an uncomfortable situation for all. I see nothing wrong in that. The fact is this, most of our society is simply uncomfortable with seeing 2 men having sex. And since we are a free society it is the people's right to not see it if they don't want to. You can get into debate over is that right or wrong. Do I think bi men are wrong? No. But that doesn't mean I'm buying Brokeback Mountain either.

 

Club owners are business people. If they wish to be successful business owners they HAVE to cater to the wishes of their patrons. If they do not do this people go to other clubs, no one pays dues or door fees and the club is closed in 6 months. Simple as that; I don't think club owners are being assholes, they are simply going with what their patrons think. If there were a huge wave of anti female bisexuality in the lifestyle for example the same would start applying at the clubs in regards to female/female play. What I told the person is in regards to male bisexuality its probably best to do online searches where you can specifically look for other couples/singles where the man is bisexual in nature.

[magnum 70]

Cerberus said:

I can say truthfully i would not want to be a TOP. My interest is only in being a bottom so i could feel what a woman feel when a guy cums. I would also be interested in giving head to see what a woman goes through......

 

My massage therapist rims me sometimes and man alive does it send me through the roof

 

Is your massage therapist male?

 

I have no interest in any Bi play...but to each their own. it was hard enough getting use to the male male closeness thing when I started swing...

[FunSeeker 15]

I have enjoyed bi-play. Am I fully bi? The jury's still out on that one. I haven't really explored swinging or bisexuality enough to say one way or the other. I do know, however, that I am most attracted and sexually interested in girls, but I have enjoyed oral and some rimming on a few guys.

[nicerrtxcple 13]

i have thought about it, just don't know if I would.

[gsu22 183]

I'm similar to funseeker....I have enjoyed some limited bi-play..all with couples. I have and will continue to absoulutely love women 100%....there's just this feeling I get sometimes about wanting to do some M/M activity while the female is present. Never been into anal....strictly oral/handjob type activities. And of course the male has to be masculine like me....to each their own and for me it just turns me on sometimes...

 

But I also agree with an earlier post that online searches have been the best in terms of finding a bi couple where the male is bi.....in the few clubs I've been to it's either been frowned upon when brought up by me to the couple or obviously just not allowed at all in the club, which I fully expected. I just try to be honest about my interests....

 

And to answer the question...in bi play my ultimate fantasy has always been to find a bi couple to play with on a semi regular basis and when the time comes that the female might not be around or available, the couple would be "ok" with me and the male getting together to get off either orally or just jerking...

[Cpl2share 147]

As we have said many times over, Mrs. Cpl in bi-friendly (HOT!) and I am not at all interested in men. Neither of us has any interest in watching M/M play. So, we would not choose to frequent a club/ tavern or any other venue where it was "encouraged". I would recommend to those who are militant bisexual or homosexual males that feel slighted by the "double standard" & "hypocrisy" that you immediately give usa lesson in how it feels to be banned and open your own bi/homosexual club and see how long it lasts. If M/M play were as prevelent as it appears on some of these threads we would find that a majority of clubs were bi male friendly.

[Cerberus 16]

On 12/15/2007 at 4:03 PM, magnum said:

Is your massage therapist male?

 

no, my massage therapist is female.

[WesternSwing 504]

If M/M play were as prevelent as it appears on some of these threads we would find that a majority of clubs were bi male friendly.

Not necessarily. We know many couples that have a bisexual husband and their profiles say "straight" and they don't let their bisexuality be known to anyone unless there is a strong sense of possible play with another man. This double standard is exactly the reason why they keep it under wraps publicly.

[Spoomonkey 418]

WesternSwing said:

Not necessarily. We know many couples that have a bisexual husband and their profiles say "straight" and they don't let their bisexuality be known to anyone unless there is a strong sense of possible play with another man. This double standard is exactly the reason why they keep it under wraps publicly.

 

This makes my point...

 

Their refusal to come out of the closet (at least on a swing site) perpetuates the problem. It is not our problem (straight men) that bisexual men appear to be the exception rather than the rule. It is not our job to work towards their acceptance.

 

I don't say this to discourage them, but to encourage them. I think the greatest "sin" in life is to not be true to yourself.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

WesternSwing said:

Not necessarily. We know many couples that have a bisexual husband and their profiles say "straight" and they don't let their bisexuality be known to anyone unless there is a strong sense of possible play with another man. This double standard is exactly the reason why they keep it under wraps publicly.

 

Spoomonkey said:

This makes my point...

 

Their refusal to come out of the closet (at least on a swing site) perpetuates the problem. It is not our problem (straight men) that bisexual men appear to be the exception rather than the rule. It is not our job to work towards their acceptance.

 

I don't say this to discourage them, but to encourage them. I think the greatest "sin" in life is to not be true to yourself.

 

Spoo ~ You know I think you're the greatest, but I've got to ask you to think more about what you said.

 

Imagine this Board was a "vanilla sex" forum and the topic of the thread was "What WOULD interest you in swinging?" and a vanilla person said this about swingers:

 

"Their refusal to come out of the closet (at least on a sex discussion site) perpetuates the problem. It is not our problem (vanillas) that swingers appear to be the exception rather than the rule. It is not our job to work towards their acceptance.

 

I don't say this to discourage them, but to encourage them. I think the greatest "sin" in life is to not be true to yourself."

 

The majority of swingers on SB believe what they do behind closed doors is their business, it's private, and prefer not to make it known publicly that they swing. I can understand why bisexual men make this same choice.

[Spoomonkey 418]

LikeMinds321 said:

The majority of swingers on SB believe what they do behind closed doors is their business, it's private, and prefer not to make it known publicly that they swing. I can understand why bisexual men make this same choice.

 

I agree with you. What we choose to do and what we choose to keep private are very personal choices.

 

And since most swingers do choose to keep their choices personal, few of us go to vanilla boards and try to convince people that swinging should be universally approved; that anyone who does not accept swinging has a double standard (vanillas have sex, after all) or are hypocrites.

 

I choose to keep my swinging a secret from many people - and as such, I am not looking for a wider acceptance. If I did want swinging to be better accepted, it would be my responsibility to make that happen. I would not rely on vanillas to do it for me...

 

So, while I appreciate the point you are making, I am not sure that I see the parallel.

[lovinher 505]

When you think about what has been beat into ours heads since childhood, the secrecy and unacceptance in society isn't all that hard to understand and is understandable. As young boys, we are taught either directly or indirectly that men don't play with men, period. That a man is less of a man who does. By letting another man have control (sex) with you, you submit to him and being dominated during sex is against our nature. You are somehow less manly. Only girly or less manly men want to have sex with other men. These are the things that are ingrained in us (men and women). I don't think women are or were subjected to this nearly as much and hence the acceptance of female bi play.

 

I believe that if this sigma was somehow eliminated, you would see a whole lot more male bi acceptance, and a whole lot more male bi play. I don't see that happening.

 

Of course there many other reasons why things are the way they are but I believe this to be the root of it even though most would not admit it. To some this may seem over simplified and obvious but it hasn't been mentioned.

 

I don't believe bi or gay men are less manly. But there was a time I did and male on male play still makes me uncomfortable for reasons I can't fully explain other than it's tough to erase years of what you have been exposed to.

[hamlet 53]

In the course of our swinging experience, we've been to over 30 clubs, in seven different countries, and we've yet to see a single instance of M/M play. And that seems a little sad: swing clubs are sanctuaries for those of us who enjoy a kind of sexuality that we can't practice openly in the outside world, but they don't provide the same kind of refuge for bisexual men. On the other hand, I can see the counter-argument to what I've just said--i.e., someone might ask, "Well, if you think clubs should be a refuge for all kinds of consensual adult sexual practices, would you be okay about allowing people to urinate/defecate on each other?" And I'd honestly have to answer "no" to that: I surely don't condemn people who do that kind of thing, but I really don't want to see it. I don't especially want to watch M/M play either, but it wouldn't bother me to know it was going on at a club I was attending. I suppose it all comes down to personal tastes/comfort levels.

 

But, to respond to the original thread: the only thing that would make me interested in bi play myself would be a sex change operation, because "bi play" would then mean playing with women.

[MikeandDawn 59]

The only real bi- activity I've been involved in is some incidental sucking and licking while paying with Dawn, mainly due to the proximity of their cocks to Dawn's pussy. Then there's countless creampies both with and without the other male present. Only 2 other guys got into eating my creampies out of her, but never expressed any desire with further activity with me. I'm not really into the penile/anal penatration thing, although Dawn and I both do digital-anal penetration and rimming on each other.

[audiguyvdubgirl 33]

Nothing would interest me in BI play. I'm not intimidated by it and wouldn't fret to see it, but I wouldn't be interested.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

Spoomonkey said:

I don't say this to discourage them, but to encourage them. I think the greatest "sin" in life is to not be true to yourself.

 

Spoomonkey said:

I agree with you. What we choose to do and what we choose to keep private are very personal choices.

 

I choose to keep my swinging a secret from many people

 

Aren't you contradicting yourself or at the very least also committing this "greatest sin" you speak of?

 

How is a bisexual man not coming out of the closet any different? He does so for the same reasons you choose to keep your swinging in the closet.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

mackie44 said:

The bisexual double standard never ceases to amaze me. Female bisexuality OK, male not OK? Yeah, right.

 

Overall, it should be pointed out that the bisexual double standard is an important clue to the true nature of swinging. It isn't a truly open-minded pursuit.

 

Actually, I'm guessing that for those straight females in swinging (of which there are more than you might think) female bisexuality is not ok. Actually, i don't know what's worse being a male bisexual and feeling that you have to keep it hidden or being a straight female swinger and having to put up with women touching you and assuming that just because you swing you must be bi.

 

crazycatz said:

Thanks for that. I thought that most if not all clubs banned male on male activity - hypocritical if 'no means no' is what is used to 'protect' straight women from bi women....the same should apply to straight-bi men chat-ups.

Seems quite narrow-minded of the owners and the membership, to put it mildly.

 

I think I do get your point here. That clubs should not ban male bisexuality and that "no means no" should be enough. The problem isn't a matter of "protecting" anyone so much as it is that so many people (unfortunately) are turned off by the idea of two men together and don't want to see it. So to satisfy those people they "ban" it. I'm pretty sure that male bisexuality goes on in any swinger club with private rooms.

 

Spoomonkey said:

Now - do I personally have a problem with such activity? No - not if it is private. If two men privately go up to a room, I could care less. And before you claim that I have a "double standard" (which you might, if you stopped trying to awkwardly force the word "hypocrite" into the conversation) I am actually not a big fan of public sex period.

 

So if you ran a club it would have no public sex areas, only private rooms?

 

hamlet said:

I surely don't condemn people who do that kind of thing, but I really don't want to see it. I don't especially want to watch M/M play either, but it wouldn't bother me to know it was going on at a club I was attending. I suppose it all comes down to personal tastes/comfort levels.

 

 

Exactly and just as clubs choose to limit or prevent single males from attending or anything else they may limit or prevent they do so because that is what fits the tastes/comfort levels of the MAJORITY of their patrons.

 

 

Here's a question for you guys (because I really don't want to start yet another thread on this never-ending debate). Do any of you STRAIGHT guys ever enjoy having your wife (or another woman) give you a rim job or play with your ass in any way? Or would this also constitute a bisexual activity (even though it's being performed by a woman)?

[Spoomonkey 418]

JustAskJulie said:

So if you ran a club it would have no public sex areas, only private rooms?

 

If I ran a club?

 

Well - as I have said in other places, clubs exist to make money. I really believe that. If I ran a club, I would hope that I would have a good feel for the clientèle. Though highly unlikely, if that clientèle shared my interests then, no, they wouldn't have public sex areas. They don't do anything for me.

 

I realize that I am in the minority on this - which is why I've never aspired to own a club.

[Spoomonkey 418]

JustAskJulie said:

Aren't you contradicting yourself or at the very least also committing this "greatest sin" you speak of?

 

How is a bisexual man not coming out of the closet any different? He does so for the same reasons you choose to keep your swinging in the closet.

 

Actually when kept in context, I do not believe that I am contradicting myself. My original "be true to yourself" comment was made towards bisexual males who do two things:

 

1. List themselves as straight on swinger ad sites.

2. Claim that they are "victims" of a double standard when they come here.

 

My point being that their desire for acceptance is hindered by their own unwillingness to come out and be honest about who they are. If you want acceptance you must first let people know who they are accepting.

 

My second comment was based on me and my personal choices. You see, I have no "political agenda" when it comes to swinging. I do not care if it receives a greater acceptance than it already has. I don't care if the "vanilla world" continues to misunderstand what I do and why I do it.

 

I don't go to vanilla marriage discussion boards and tout the benefits of swinging nor do I complain that they misjudge us.

 

That is the difference between those two quotes. In context, they do not contradict each other - but I can see how they would appear that way when cut and pasted.

 

Basically, if bisexual men want to change the environment it is their responsibility to do so. If the best tactic they have is to come here and complain and expect straight men to step up and take on their cause for them... I'm afraid their battle may well be a futile one.

[good times 990]

JustAskJulie said:

Actually, I'm guessing that for those straight females in swinging (of which there are more than you might think) female bisexuality is not ok. Actually, i don't know what's worse being a male bisexual and feeling that you have to keep it hidden or being a straight female swinger and having to put up with women touching you and assuming that just because you swing you must be bi.

 

This is so true.

 

 

JustAskJulie said:

Here's a question for you guys (because I really don't want to start yet another thread on this never-ending debate). Do any of you STRAIGHT guys ever enjoy having your wife (or another woman) give you a rim job or play with your ass in any way? Or would this also constitute a bisexual activity (even though it's being performed by a woman)?

 

I don't think it could be considered bisexual activity, since their isn't another guy involved, but it isn't something I would enjoy either. I am not into ass play of any kind though, so I guess this answer is no surprise.

 

 

Spoomonkey said:

If I ran a club?

 

Well - as I have said in other places, clubs exist to make money. I really believe that. If I ran a club, I would hope that I would have a good feel for the clientèle. Though highly unlikely, if that clientèle shared my interests then, no, they wouldn't have public sex areas. They don't do anything for me.

 

I realize that I am in the minority on this - which is why I've never aspired to own a club.

 

I don't think you are that much in the minority Spoo. As you know, but others here might not, up until a couple of years ago the clubs in Reno only had public play areas. So, if you wanted to play at a club, you didn't have much choice, you played in the public play rooms or not at all. A couple of years ago a new club opened which has both private and public play rooms. The private rooms are used a lot, but the public play areas are hardly used at all. This indicates to me that most swingers, at least in our area, prefer private play rooms. That being said, were I to have a club, I would still have both. Because while the people who like to play in front of others may be a minority, their are still enough of them to warrant having a public play area in the club.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

Actually when kept in context, I do not believe that I am contradicting myself. My original "be true to yourself" comment was made towards bisexual males who do two things:

 

1. List themselves as straight on swinger ad sites.

2. Claim that they are "victims" of a double standard when they come here.

 

My point being that their desire for acceptance is hindered by their own unwillingness to come out and be honest about who they are. If you want acceptance you must first let people know who they are accepting.

 

 

thank you. I think you did a great job of clearing up the confusion that I was having at your two posts and showing the difference in the two things. Better in this post than in your previous.

[audiguyvdubgirl 33]

I personally like it when my girl rims me or gives me ass play. I just feel that if I want to try things, then she should be afforded those same opportunities. Last night, I was pegged for the first time. I don't know what the big deal is. It was uncomfortable to say the least intially, and I didn't feel these supposedly amazing sensations as a result. I do, however, have an understanding of what a woman goes through when a guys ask to do anal on her. I'm certainly not bi, just fair and I think in the interest of sexual exploration with your partner, like Stevie Wonder said, "All in love is fair."

[magnum 70]

Cerberus said:

I can say truthfully i would not want to be a TOP. My interest is only in being a bottom so i could feel what a woman feel when a guy cums. I would also be interested in giving head to see what a woman goes through....

 

My massage therapist rims me sometimes and man alive does it send me through the roof

 

I have no interest in another guy...It was hard enough getting use to the male closeness when I started playing in MFM situations. That is as far as I go. To Each his own...

 

I am very interested in bi women play though!

[SecretAsianMan 348]

I never thought I would be interested ... nowadays, ... dunno. I don't think it'd bother me to be given head by either gender. And I've enjoy getting rimmed by a gal (even had her insert a finger/tongue inside me anally) - probably wouldn't mind if she wanted to "peg" me.

 

I guess maybe my tastes are shifting a bit towards bi-curious. ((shrug))

[mywildside 22]

I have been with both, I love women and their sensuality, however, I really get turned on with guys. I am oral with guys and love to feel a hard cock. As for kissing men, there is no difference in sharing a kiss with men or women, both are equally exiting.

[lb4u1952 15]

hi, just a comment. I have been straight mostly all my life. I had a few bi experiences in my life (sucked a few cocks). I fantasize a lot about a dominant couple, that I am instructed to suck her husband off, or eat the cum from her pussy. Us men find it exciting seeing two woman get it on, I'm sure most women would find it exciting to watch two guys having each other. Can't wait for the comments on this, or invites?

[lb4u1952 15]

too bad--always keep it exciting--have a open mind

[Guest rdy46227]

A low key offer to play while the girl(s) are around from a male I will trust. 50/50 if it occurs before/after play starts. Encouragement from the girl(s) will really help.

[SecretAsianMan 348]

JustAskJulie said:

Here's a question for you guys (because I really don't want to start yet another thread on this never-ending debate). Do any of you STRAIGHT guys ever enjoy having your wife (or another woman) give you a rim job or play with your ass in any way? Or would this also constitute a bisexual activity (even though it's being performed by a woman)?

 

I definitely enjoy it when my gal plays with my ass & I love getting rimmed by her. "Bisexual" or not - I like the way it feels.

[celtic239 297]

Not for all the tea in China

[slevin 1,374]

I gave this kind of topic a lot of thought before we started swinging. In my mind, I was interested in Katrina being with another woman and while it was something she fantasized about she wasn't sure that she actually wanted to try it. It turns out she was mostly just nervous about it and after trying it the first time, in part to live out that fantasy and in part because she knew that it turned me on, she discovered that she really enjoyed it. So, while talking about that for her it occurred to me that perhaps it was unfair to ask that of her while being totally closed off to doing the same thing for her.

 

I asked myself; even though I've never been attracted to a guy nor fantasized about it, would I be open to exploring whether I'd enjoy it or not. A different situation than what Katrina went through since she did find women attractive and did fantasize about it, but I was trying to be completely open minded about it. I even took the step of watching a bit of gay porn, or bi-porn etc. The thought of the act did absolutely nothing for me, not that it grossed me out, but I was definitely not interested in doing it at all. Thankfully Katrina is completely not interested in seeing me with another guy either; dodged a bullet there.

 

What it came down to for me though was that while I had no attraction for other men and had no desire for man/man play the whole bi-male thing didn't really bother me much. Seeing it didn't gross me out, didn't make me uncomfortable and being near other guys during sex doesn't bother me at all...even when we're really close. Gay guys at a gay bar grabbing my ass without asking...that bothers me. Now, I did decide that if Katrina did want to see me with another guy, I'd be ok with him giving me a blowjob, and I wasn't sure if I'd be ok with fucking him. I was totally not ok with him fucking me, nor was I ok with giving him a blowjob.

 

Incidentally, one couple that we played with had a bi-male. They listed themselves as such in their ad and when we talked with them I was up front and let them know it didn't bother me, but that I/we had no interest in m/m play. They were cool with that and we played a bunch of times, it was totally comfortable and he never once did anything that stepped over any boundaries nor did he shy away from the natural closeness that occurs during all that fun couple play. It was fine.

 

Also, on the club front. The big club here in the city has no rules about m/m play; it is definitely allowed, what they don't allow is m/m couples attending the party. That has nothing to do with not being ok with bi/gay males, but is rather an unfortunate rule since they are worried that two straight guys would show up claiming to be a couple just to get into the club (which doesn't allow single men). That said, I've never seen m/m play at the club, and the owner tells me he can't recall it ever happening.

[SecretAsianMan 348]

I'd say at least 95% of the clubs / parties / events I've been to discourage or outright ban any type of male-male activity ... including any type of male bisexual play. Which, despite my being a straight male, I've always found a bit ... discriminating.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

JustAskJulie said:

Here's a question for you guys (because I really don't want to start yet another thread on this never-ending debate). Do any of you STRAIGHT guys ever enjoy having your wife (or another woman) give you a rim job or play with your ass in any way?

 

We don't do it often, but we occasionally enjoy a little female-on-male rimming action. This can get Greg as hard as a rock even if she doesn't touch his cock, but any anal penetration is off the board.

[lb4u1952 15]

I enjoy when a woman sticks her tongue on my asshole--but I can't understand this myth of no penetration. If men expect women to take it up the ass, why can't a woman strap one on and give it to a man? I find anal sex exciting.

[two4youinswva 3,067]

lb4u1952 said:

If men expect women to take it up the ass, why can't a woman strap one on and give it to a man? I find anal sex exciting.

 

Seriously, men "expect" a woman to take it up the ass?

I think your argument contains a false assumption.

[Chicup 38]

two4youinswva said:

I think your argument contains a false assumption.

 

I think anal in swinging is not all that common with play partners, and no one really expects it.

 

Now I have NO idea how the concept of a woman doing something to a mans ass would be 'gay' that's some seriously non-linear thinking if someone feels that. I have no desire to get done by a woman with a strap on, not even a little, but I'd not feel I did something gay if I did.

[theflamekasters 20]

lb4u1952 said:

I enjoy when a woman sticks her tongue on my asshole--but I can't understand this myth of no penetration. If men expect women to take it up the ass, why can't a woman strap one on and give it to a man? I find anal sex exciting.

 

Totally agree with you on this!! I got it good last night, and loved every minute of it!!! Giving and receiving!!

[bryanlee 147]

I say do what feels good and makes you happy. Let everyone else worry about how they decide to label you.