The need to "label" everything?

[Dooode 18]

I don't think scary is the right word... It's more about what is a reality and what is not.

The reality is that male bisexuality has different acceptance levels geologically. In some states, being "out" could get you killed. At the very least, even in other more liberal states or cities, a bisexual couple could find themselves being very lonely. A bicouple being "out" in Las Vegas can do very well, whereas in the Bible Belt they'd be in hiding.

 

Florida has the highest acceptance level of male bisexuality and the highest concentration of bisexual couples. So much so as a matter of fact, that a European-style swing club can exist in Ft Lauderdale that caters exclusively to bisexual couples and select bi singles. It's the only one I know of in the United States. A Central Florida swing club I've been to has a Bisexual Night. Tampa/St Pete has no swing club that is more accepting so numbers of bi couples meet at house parties.

 

But it is not the swing norm by far, even for Florida. Just more accepting.

 

Is it right that what they are presented with is bi females is normal and bi-males is not? Not in my opinion. IMO the truth they should be being presented is that whatever you want to do is normal and accepted. Personally, I think male bisexuality should be just as openly accepted as female bisexuality and perhaps if more people were honest about their desires and feelings it might be more widely accepted.

"Honest about desires and feelings" is a big issue. You can't get a lot of guys to admit to admiring a set of six-pack abs or healthy gluts let alone communicate any curiosities to their wives. But it's not a swing issue. It's a sociological one that bleeds into the swing scene. Bisexuality for males just not known or understood in society in general, whereas gays are, and so the male bisexual is often associated with "being gay".

 

Oh god. If I got a nickel for every time I heard "I'm not gay or anything, but ... " I could retire and own my own island.

 

What we should be presenting is - these are ALL the various ways that different people swing and YOU (the individual) choose how you want to do it. But that's just not swinger reality. In swinger reality, female bisexuality is not only normal and accepted but too often expected.... and the double standard exists that male bisexuality is not normal, or expected and very rarely is accepted.

 

Yup.

 

It's possible to find and satisfy any interest in the swinging lifestyle. It may not be mainstream, and you might have to dig, but it's possible.

[Rockme 15]

Am I the only one who finds it ironic that we are talking about how “normal” or “abnormal” bi sexual men are on a swingers board?! All this talk about not wanting to give new people the wrong idea when they come to the board. We are arguing a subcategory of a socially unexpected topic on a board dedicated to swinging, which is a socially unaccepted topic in its self!

Everyone needs to take a breath and enjoy life.

[good times 990]

Am I the only one who finds it ironic that we are talking about how “normal” or “abnormal” bi sexual men are on a swingers board?! All this talk about not wanting to give new people the wrong idea when they come to the board. We are arguing a subcategory of a socially unexpected topic on a board dedicated to swinging, which is a socially unaccepted topic in its self!

Everyone needs to take a breath and enjoy life.

Maybe you are, what is so ironic about it? Someone (in this case you) comes to a discussion forum and asks an interesting question or makes some provacative comments, then we all proceed to discuss it. We are discussing this subject based on its relationship to swinging, so no, I don't see the irony in it, I can accept it if it is only me that doesn't see it though.

[reed&diana 17]

If I could sum it up in one statement to newbies it would be:

 

There are bisexual males in the Lifestyle, however they are not the majority in an sense, and like many bi-women most are very polite and will not cross your boundaries if you are not into that. If you are not bi - being male or female - and someone else who is bi blatantly and without caring crosses your boundaries, then they are not the person or couple to play with. Bi-male, bi-female, it's all the same when it comes to playing and what your boundaries are, and they should always be respected just as you should respect others boundaries.

That is the best explanation that I've seen so far. It all boils down to "if you don't like it, don't do it". If you don't want anal, don't do it. If you don't like watersports, don't do it. If there is anything that you don't like, don't do it. It just seems that bi males are the pariah of the lifestyle.

[Rockme 15]

good times said:

Maybe you are, what is so ironic about it? Someone (in this case you) comes to a discussion forum and asks an interesting question or makes some provocative comments, then we all proceed to discuss it. We are discussing this subject based on its relationship to swinging, so no, I don't see the irony in it, I can accept it if it is only me that doesn't see it though.

 

Lighten up!! I could say the sky is blue and you would be ready to jump me!! I get the fact that you don’t like my post, me or anything else I may say. To be honest, I don’t care! My post was not a call to arms for all bi men to pickup and go to war against straight men. As I have said before 99% of my play is with women! This thread can and will go on without me. Surrender.

[Chicup 38]

Am I the only one who finds it ironic that we are talking about how “normal” or “abnormal” bi sexual men are on a swingers board?! All this talk about not wanting to give new people the wrong idea when they come to the board. We are arguing a subcategory of a socially unexpected topic on a board dedicated to swinging, which is a socially unaccepted topic in its self!

Everyone needs to take a breath and enjoy life.

 

Nope, I don't find it ironic.

 

We may be an socially abnormal group in terms of our sex lives, but within the group there are expectations and limits. We are discussing those expectations and limits in this thread and many others on the board.

 

That doesn't mean we are uptight about it either, and I'm enjoying life just fine.

[Dooode 18]

Rockme said:

Am I the only one who finds it ironic that we are talking about how “normal” or “abnormal” bi sexual men are on a swingers board?!

Is it ironic? Sure it's ironic. And here's why:

 

Of course, (again) it's not mainstream swinging but who's to say that all swingers go to clubs? There are other means and methods of finding partners, ya know.

 

Mainstream swingers pointing out what is "abnormal" borders on hypocrisy when society itself considers mainstream swinging "abnormal". Following Mainstream's reasoning, and according to this poll, voyeurs, soft-swingers and newbies are the lowest on the swinger totem pole.

 

And yet there is .. *ahem*.. "concern" that newbies are going to be affected by topics such as this?? Nonsense. They'll go whichever route they want to go, regardless of what "mainstream" says. How do I know?

 

And EVERYONE was a newbie once!