Where are all the GOOD Single Men?

[tomk 15]

Hi,

 

We have posted here before, we are still sort of new, we have met some couples but no chem with any of them. So we are still virgins, lol.

 

While couples are nice and we are patient, my wife really wants some single guys. The ones on swing sites are bad most of the time and we are thinking of maybe going to regualr date sites or something else?

 

Anyone have advice on this? How to get a quality single male?

[funcoupledayton 2,707]

I think dating sites would be looking for trouble. Not everyone understands what swinging is about. You really don't want to start out with someone who is looking for a relationship when you and your wife already have a relationship. Generally an experienced single guy in the lifestyle understands his role and will have less performance problems if you want to watch or have an mfm. You could try to go to a swing club on a night when they allow single men. You might also try to converse online with couples who state in their profile that they like single men. They may be able to point you in the right direction in your area.

 

I have heard that the dating site, OK Cupid has an option for casual sex, and many polyamorous people are there. I have no experience trying to hook up on there.

 

Finding couples takes time but is worth it. Keep contacting everyone you are interested in. Try going to clubs or meet and greets in your area. Just be persistent and patient.

[ScoobyonLI 15]

Not all of us are bad. I am a normal guy who just happens to really enjoy MFM. And i am in NY also.Where are you in NY. I am on Long Island

[MN Tom 251]

Is she really picky in the stats (looks, size, age ...) of the males that she wants?

 

Does she only want either single or hall pass males?

 

Assuming you have found the swinging sites that have a decent crowd in your area, it's just a numbers game.

 

There are a lot of available males out there (assuming you are in a metro area), just is a matter of sorting down to the ones you want and meeting some of them to see if there is any chemistry.

 

Are you going to be doing a 1v1 or an MFM? Will the hubby be there and watching?

 

I doubt you will have better luck finding a suitable male on a singles site compared to a swinging one, most vanillas dont have a good mindset for good sex with a female half of a spouse. They either have trouble wrapping their mind around the "open marriage" concept or they are just there to get their rocks off and dont really care about the gal. Not to say you can't find a good one anywhere, heck you might end up bumping into the magic man at the grocery store.

[Alura 2,766]

Not all of us are bad. I am a normal guy who just happens to really enjoy MFM. And i am in NY also.Where are you in NY. I am on Long Island

 

Good for you, Scooby! How often do you invite another man for a threesome with your girlfriend?

 

Alura

[happy79ers 15]

It depends on what "quality" means. I've been to many swinger clubs with my wife, and there's always single guys hanging around, many of them with really in-shape bodies, and able to get an erection very quickly. And although a few of them were a bit rude, most of them were quite nice and respectful, and we always had a good time. So the question is: what do you mean by "quality"? If you mean good at making romantic chemistry, well, that's hard for any guy ;-), and once a guy figures that out, he's usually not single for long ;-).

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

. . . I've been to many swinger clubs with my wife, and there's always single guys hanging around, many of them with really in-shape bodies, and able to get an erection very quickly. . .

I believe, tomk, this is your answer. At a swingers' club, you can find single men and very quickly see which are desirable.

[JustAskJulie 2,589]

Curious as to what has led you to the conclusion that most single guys on swinger sites are bad, but single guys on a dating site would be better?

[ScoobyonLI 15]

Good for you, Scooby! How often do you invite another man for a threesome with your girlfriend?

 

Alura

 

Not sure why you asked me that? I stated i am a single male.I was married for 9 years but never invited another male(she wasnt interested) but ive been divorced 2 years and have had some great experiences with couples.

[Alura 2,766]

Not sure why you asked me that? I stated i am a single male.I was married for 9 years but never invited another male(she wasnt interested) but ive been divorced 2 years and have had some great experiences with couples.

 

Because of this that you wrote: I am a normal guy who just happens to really enjoy MFM.

 

I was just wondering it the ball bounces both ways. Apparently not.

 

Alura

[lardub 170]

Finding a single guy on any site can leave you banging your head on a concrete wall, dating sites as well as swinger sites have guys that just don't get it, and in our experince are about as single as we are.

Some of the emails we get leave us feeling that these guys have never and will never get laid.

Your best bet is a club or chatting with couples who have a boytoy and may like to share.

At times we find its harder to find a male who can respect us and her, than a couple..

[Powerglide 235]

The Divine Ms. L and I really enjoy MFM. She has a sexual appetite that just won't quit, and I get very hot seeing her suck and fuck other guys. So far, we've been very lucky, both at clubs and with guys she knew before we got together. I'm a little leery of recruiting guys from Swing Lifestyle or AFF for this. There seem to be countless thousands of single males on these sites, and I'm not confident about that we can separate the wheat from the chaff there.

[ScoobyonLI 15]

Because of this that you wrote: I am a normal guy who just happens to really enjoy MFM.

 

I was just wondering it the ball bounces both ways. Apparently not.

 

Alura

 

Actually you dont know if it does and neither do I. But if a couple is into it i dont see why you are making it seem like i did something wrong.

[sweet_tna 680]

Here's the good news: There are "quality" single guys out there. We've been lucky enough to have found a couple of them. Where do you find them? My tongue-in-cheek answer would be at Wal-Mart.

 

But seriously, you're better off going to a club or house party to find them. Yes, you can look on SLS or the other swinger ad sites. But be prepared to weed through a lot of bad apples to find a good one. At least at clubs or house parties, you can see them in person and know for sure whether you click right away--not to mention the convenience of a relatively safe atmosphere for a tryout.

 

If you do go the online route, I suggest you be very specific in what you're looking for and what your rules are right up front. If you get to the point of deciding to meet the guy, a coffee shop is an excellent place to do so. It's less expensive than dinner or drinks, and you don't get stuck with having to sit through an entire meal with someone who won't work out.

 

Keep on looking and asking questions. Best of luck to ya'll!

 

=)

[LFM2 1,481]

I think it all depends on your definition of "quality" and where you're looking. We found a wonderful single guy on AFF. There are great ones on SLS.

 

I guess it all depends on what you're looking for. We all have different tastes, so it's going to be difficult to tell you where to find them.

[tomk 15]

Thanks to all for the advice. My wife is picky either they are to old or way out of shape for her. We live in a small upstate NY city and there is not much to choose from, even at clubs, those singles are mostly guys who can't get laid. One time we even saw one who did get laid and high five-d his friends after, very poor taste to us.

 

The old ones are out of shape and the young ones, don't care to say more than five words or most want to meet "right now"! Yes my wife is horny but not stupid.

 

We tried SLS most people on there seem to know each other or a rude, more so on that site than any other.

 

I guess we will just be patient.

[Aion222 15]

Thanks to all for the advice. My wife is picky either they are to old or way out of shape for her. We live in a small upstate NY city and there is not much to choose from, even at clubs, those singles are mostly guys who can't get laid. One time we even saw one who did get laid and high five-d his friends after, very poor taste to us.

 

The old ones are out of shape and the young ones, don't care to say more than five words or most want to meet "right now"! Yes my wife is horny but not stupid.

 

We tried Swing Lifestyle most people on there seem to know each other or a rude, more so on that site than any other.

 

I guess we will just be patient.

 

Hahaha, I get what you're saying. I find that a lot of single guys who attempt to "swing" really have little clue what their doing. Plus being homely can be a terrible stumbling block in getting "laid".

 

Couples aren't completely absolved as I find that they tend to give very little information as well ads with a single, short sentence that can be taken to mean so many different ways. I'm sure that's a red flag for fake. So when advertising, put in some more info and maybe even sign off with your names to really "sell" it and maybe you'll get some nice guys into the mix.

 

Just be nice and extra flirtatious with the right, decent guy (as they with you guys), and you'll do fine.

[northjersey 15]

This is exactly the reason we joined the site. Maybe we are a bit picky, but we can, can't we?

 

We have not had much luck, there are plenty of single guys out there, but most want to 'get together tonight'!?!?!

 

All we ask is that he put a little effort into it, be patient and appreciate her.

 

J&R

[wisconsin 58]

Our best experiences were when we met people after 10 minutes of chatting. Our/my BF of 2 years we met him by chatting on AFF.

The more planning involves the more chances it will not work or we get a no show. Very rarely we can plan a date with new people and it will work out.

What we used to do when we were in a mood to play, hubby would start chatting in a chat room, some days are more productive then the others, and after a while about 10-15 minutes he already could see if there is any potential for successful play date.

We would make decision right away and if the guy is ready and willing we would meet. This way it gives him less time to think and freak out and change his mind. When we meet we see if he looks and sounds comfortable enough around us to get naked. If he is we get a room, if he looks scared we won't. Usually prefer guys who already has an experience, they are more relaxed can bring something to the plate and they can really enjoy it and pick up your style and vibes. Most of the guys we had more fun with they weren't even swingers, they were single guys who turned out to be very skilled partners with strong personalities. It takes a lot of guts to meet strangers and fuck a wife in a front of her husband and make sure everybody is having a good time.

Clubs work fine too. You can see what you are getting, you can try it and you can go back and get somebody else if you don't like it. When I pick guys at the club I make sure they are comfortable enough with me and with hubby if we play 3 way. If they look intimidated or shy I won't invite them to play because usually it means I will get a limp cock and frustration on all sides.

Have we had bad experiences?Yes, for sure. Did we have positive experiences?Yes, there were some very nice toe curling, mind blowing play dates.

[Hivoltage 15]

It gets even tougher to find when you want a guy that is packing 8 or 9 thick inches!!!!

[northjersey 15]

It gets even tougher to find when you want a guy that is packing 8 or 9 thick inches!!!!

 

Definitely not important to us, although she has asked if I would have a problem if the other guy was bigger than me, to which I replied not at all. If we can all have some fun, think that would be a bonus.

 

Wisconsin, great stuff! thanks, we will continue our search and hopefully will have something to share in the experiences forum.

 

J&R