The $20 bet

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Hang in there Chicup! There are more than a few of us who are with you!

Yes, Alura. There are.

 

People who respect marriage and consentual disclosure who swing are basically offended by the motive and intent of the offending swinger. Her intent and her excitation derived from it's concept (possibly even more than the physical result obtained) is more of an example of manipulative selfish promiscuity than an act of legitmate swinging, yet it is being disclaimed as the genuine article. And if you are swinging for the right reason it most likely will offend you on some level based on the principle alone.Keep in mind that all people who swing are not necessarily doing it out of healthy motivation. Examples: Those who derive their self esteem through sexual conquest...

 

Put yourself in the brides place and think about the offending swingers intent before you attempt to flame me. I am not excusing the grooms behaviour by any means. He was wrong as well. But that does not excuse the predatory, self serving, and malicious intent of the offending swinger.

These are very good points, Hyde.

 

Through reading all of the many posts on this thread it is clear that swingers are divided on what role motivation plays in swinging, whether a swinger should be concerned how their actions may influence and affect others, and the responsibility of their actions.

 

LM

[BradAndJanet 69]

... Through reading all of the many posts on this thread it is clear that swingers are divided on what role motivation plays in swinging, whether a swinger should be concerned how their actions may influence and affect others, and the responsibility of their actions.

 

LM

Well, I know that there has been a lot to consider in this thread and a lot of good points have been made on both sides. I also will say that I regret being so hasty in congratulating the Naughties on their actions. I was caught up in the moment of fun and wish I had said nothing at all. For me it was complicated by the fact that I have met the Naughties and found them to be nice people who are fun to be around.

 

It's a very confusing issue for me. On the one hand, my philosophy in life is that everyone is responsible for their own actions and it seems that no one was forced to do anything against their will. On the other hand, there is the bride-to-be to consider and the realization that this wasn't just some fantasy story - it was a real event that happened to real people. I would hope not to be put into such a situation myself - which is maybe why I tend to avoid bachelor parties!

 

I still feel strongly that both parties should be held equally accountable if blame is to be cast. I'm not going to be so stubborn and prideful, however, not to admit that I have learned something from this discussion and that is, as people who have learned to separate love from sex, we should not assume that others can or will do the same. Playing with people who have not made the distinction can be wrong and perhaps in this case it was. I just don't know enough about the others involved to be able to say anything with certainty.

 

-B

[Mr.Hyde69 16]

I was not by any means implying the groom was entirely a victim in this scenario. He could have refused to touch her. But, Invisible Touch hit on some really good points. People are extremely vulnerable and sometimes down right terrified before they take the plunge. Werent you? Couple that with the average environment of a bachelor party ( extreme alcohol intoxication, devolved male pack mentality Etc. Etc.) and it's not exactly your everyday situation.Ever been to one? I've seen guy's attempt to publicly humiliate grooms into doing shit with girls they had absolutely no desire to do but gave into the pressure of their peers after being called a pussy for zillionth time. Yes, he still could have said no. And maybe this guy didnt need a hell of a lot of urging. But if I understand this scenario correctly, there was quite a bit of it going on. This guy's dad was even egging him on. Regardless of this guy's intent, it does not take away from this swinger's motives. She's supposedly married herself and should have exercised a scruple or two. They hit the nail on the head with "the hot wife syndrome." We have all seen it and it makes most women want to puke/ smack them.

 

Trying to diminish the crediblity of posters by calling them the Taliban,the moral police, or by somehow implying that they are some kind of prude strungout on Jesus is just plain infantile and a weak argument tactic they teach kids in debate 101. People who actually swing arent exactly prudes by core definition alone. All kinds of people swing for a littany of reasons. And we have met a plethora of them that do so for some very unhealthy one's.

It's ranged from decent married people just trying to have a little fun to serial cheaters/sex addicts without a scruple/moral to be found. I'm personally tired of people of the latter choosing to call themselves swingers just so they can call themselves something with better PR than their actual definition.

 

And those who do not subscribe to the typical PC swinger flock mentality are sometimes are made to feel less than welcomed and appreciated on here. But if you ask me, they are the only ones who actually make this board worth visiting. This board needs people like Jncc,InvisibleTouch, and all of the other folks on here whose names momentarily escape me, who think outside of the box.

 

Hyde

[BradAndJanet 69]

I was not by any means implying the groom was entirely a victim in this scenario. He could have refused to touch her. But, Invisible Touch hit on some really good points. People are extremely vulnerable and sometimes down right terrified before they take the plunge. Werent you? Couple that with the average environment of a bachelor party ( extreme alcohol intoxication, devolved male pack mentality Etc. Etc.) and it's not exactly your everyday situation.Ever been to one? I've seen guy's attempt to publicly humiliate grooms into doing shit with girls they had absolutely no desire to do but gave into the pressure of their peers after being called a pussy for zillionth time. Yes, he still could have said no. And maybe this guy didnt need a hell of a lot of urging. But if I understand this scenario correctly, there was quite a bit of it going on. This guy's dad was even egging him on. ...

Actually, I wasn't afraid at all, but I see your point. I've been to a few parties and while there were strippers there and some pressure on the groom to get 'close' to them, it was all in good fun and nothing remotely like what was described here. There seemed to be a line that no one wanted to cross.

 

So, now I'm wondering this - with all the egging on, was there some expectation among the crowd that he would end up having sex with Mrs. Naughty? Or, were they also not considering the consequences of their actions and so could be held accountable for what happened as well?

 

-B

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

 

So, now I'm wondering this - with all the egging on, was there some expectation among the crowd that he would end up having sex with Mrs. Naughty? Or, were they also not considering the consequences of their actions and so could be held accountable for what happened as well?

From the start of this thread I have never felt the focus should be on whether the responsiblity lies more with the bachelor or the Naughties, they both should bear the burden. Bringing into this picture the people who influence these two people who had sex seems fruitless, it only offers more excuses for their actions: the old "peer pressure" excuse. Ultimately it was up to these two adults to decide how to handle themselves.

 

From the start, my thoughts about this story have been focused on how I, as a swinger, would handle this situation if I came upon it.

 

When I swing I consider who I want to have sex with; are they another swinger or just a guy I ran into and on a lark decide to seduce him? I would never fuck a guy as a conquest for my sole gratification, nor would I not give consideration to whether he is in a committed relationship and that my solicitation may be a no-no in his book of relationship rules. This thread has taught me that more swingers than I imagined wouldn't be so concerned. Even though I'm a swinger I would never seek sex anywhere I can find it just because it would turn me on, or become a great story to share, or fuel my sex with my husband at home.

 

I like seeing the different opinions and I'm trying to look past the cutting remarks spattered throughout this thread and take in all the views.

 

This thread has given me lots to think about.

 

LM

[Mr.Hyde69 16]

No. In the end we have no one to blame for the decisions we make but the one staring back in the mirror. The buck stops with the groom. I think this discussion was more about people with diminished scruples behaving in a low rent fashion under the guise of swinging. Without respect for the institution of marriage by all parties involved it's not swinging . It's sexual conquest for the sake of stroking ones ego in a less than respectable fashion.

 

Hyde

[Spoomonkey 418]

Without respect for the institution of marriage by all parties involved it's not swinging.

 

I certainly hope this is a true statement.

 

I remember our first board meet up in Indianapolis. There were some many incredible couples there and Mrs Spoomonkey and myself were walking behind the pack at one point (shy monkeys that we were) watching the other couples... Together... All holding hands! This made us realize something - swingers value marriage. That moment - and realizing how rare that sort of closeness is in the "real world" - made us very proud to be swingers!

 

I think the issue here is almost like the issue of abortion - when does the life of the commitment begin. We are all going to differ here. Mrs Spoomonkey and I discussed this and she said that if I had slept with anyone after asking her to marry me, she have been devastated... I would have felt like I was cheating even earlier than that.

 

For others, nothing's sacred until there is a piece of paper to prove it...

 

Forgive some of us for believing that commitment, marriage, soul mates is something a bit deeper - and a bit more substantial than a piece of paper.

 

Forgive some of us for waiting patiently for MrHyde to say EXACTLY what we believe.

 

Spoomonkey

[FunCoupleCnS 15]

Following that line of reasoning, anything is acceptable both in the vertical world and the swinging world.

Example-looting in NO was considered wrong but hey if those folks hadn't done it someone else Would have-right??

 

I hardly think the shops & stores in New Orleans that got looted were WILLING PARTICIPANTS in that whole thing, unlike Mr. Groom to be. How can you compare the Naughties to a bunch of thugs with shopping carts full of Nikes & color t.v. sets ? The 2 don't even remotely compare, IMHO.

[BradAndJanet 69]

... I would never fuck a guy as a conquest for my sole gratification, nor would I not give consideration to whether he is in a committed relationship and that my solicitation may be a no-no in his book of relationship rules. ...

You know, we wouldn't either and now I'm wondering why my first reaction was what it was. I guess I just wasn't thinking about all the people involved and what it might mean to them.

 

-B

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

You know, we wouldn't either and now I'm wondering why my first reaction was what it was. I guess I just wasn't thinking about all the people involved and what it might mean to them.

 

-B

Brad ~

 

There was something fictional and wild about the Naughty's tale. Maybe on first reading their story you felt you were reading a chapter from an erotica book and responded from that perspective.

 

I think most of us come upon fictional stories that describe an event that we would never partake in, but reading about others doing those things can be hot. In those cases we have no need to look deeper.

 

But the Naugthy's story did happen, and this is a discussion board for swingers, and this is the place to dig deeper because it was real and not fiction.

 

I think your rethinking how you feel, and posting as you have, is great. It shows that you'll question your previous views. And if you change them you're comfortable letting us know you have.

 

LM

[Chicup 38]

This thread has taught me that more swingers than I imagined wouldn't be so concerned. Even though I'm a swinger I would never seek sex anywhere I can find it just because it would turn me on, or become a great story to share, or fuel my sex with my husband at home.

 

This thread has given me lots to think about.

 

LM

 

Dito

 

Maybe its because we are so selective in who we play with, but so far EVERYONE who we have played with (or not played with if the meeting didn't go well on the chemistry stand point) have had strong views about marriage and fidelity. We, perhaps wrongly, assumed that most swingers were like this.

[FunCoupleCnS 15]

I took this story as a good read. Mrs. FunCouple & I both agree we would never get involved w/ someone we thought to be cheating. Just because I enjoyed reading about it doesn't mean I agree w/ it. There's alot of things I've read about or watched on t.v. that interested me. Doesn't mean I'd do them though.

[Alura 2,766]

Bunnyrabbits wrote:

 

Undermines Civilization???? We are not talking about Armageddon here. I can assure you that civilization will continue and flourish (as it has for thousands of years) even in the presence of swingers, hot-wives, cheaters etc.

 

However, I will grant to you that that was a lame excuse.

 

Teeheehee... Yeah... A little exaggeration for effect here, y'know?

 

Alura

[Alura 2,766]

Mr. Hyde wrote:

 

Without respect for the institution of marriage by all parties involved it's not swinging.

 

Well written, Mr. Hude. I liked it so much I wanted to repeat it... in bold type.

 

Mr. Alura

[curiousagain 326]

Naughties, Great story !!!!!!!!!

 

to all to morality police --- wow maybe the groom went home and told the bride to be what happened, and she was turned on and they'll become future swingers.... or maybe he told her , and she was hurt by the whole thing and called off the wedding...so maybe the naughties saved a bad marrige from happening, or maybe they opened a new door for a happy non monogamis relationship.... either way its all good..... to assume curcumstances is assinine.....oh and pardon me for any wrong spelling....

 

Wanna bet $20 on that?

 

I have read at least most of this thread and I think many good points have been brought up. I have been a bit set back though, by the name calling on both "sides" of the issue. This is a discussion forum and posting here pretty much guaranteed discussion by people with different viewpoints. One person's right to feel one way is another person's right to feel another way.

 

 

While I, as a single male, certainly understand why swinging couples sometimes want or need a SM for some type of swinging activity. I believe the circumstances in the OP lead some to feel it was wrong. The fact that they stated that did not make them the taliban or moral police or anything of the sort. Everybody has their line in the sand. Some lines in the sand are pretty much universal. I don't think anybody could post a story about sex with a child and get anybody here to say it was right, normal, or legal much less hot. Pretty much everything else is up for discussion and disagreement.

 

We all need to respect each other's lines but if you post in a discussion forum I guarantee someone will disagree with you. That being said, it is possible to agree to disagree and do so without name calling, at least it should be.

[Alura 2,766]

CuriousAgain wrote:

 

That being said, it is possible to agree to disagree and do so without name calling, at least it should be.

 

Thanks for making that very important point, CuriousAgain. We don't want to lose our claim to "The Internet's Friendliest Swingers Board," do we?

 

Mr. Alura

[hmr 25]

I have only recently started to once again read the board. Up until I found this thread I had assumed it to be "The Internets Friendliest Swingers Board" as Mr Alura put it. In fact I have told many people to read this board and have gotten a lot of positive responses when they did.

What do I tell people now? Its a great board as long as you do not tell a story that some people will find offensive? All the poeple here who have gotten on their high moral horse to tell others how wrong they are should remember that most of the world considers just being on this board and thinking this is acceptable is totally immoral.

What happened here? When I was last here if someone started flaming a story as happened to this one, those people were told in no uncertain terms that if you wanted to argue, go to another board. Some people were even removed from this board for their moralizing. Now it is acceptable?

Would we do all of the things as told in all of the stories we read? No. Do we go out of our way to tell people how wrong they are for doing things as they see it ? Not hardly.

Guess what? We are a married couple who choose to have sex with other people. A lot of sex and a lot of other people. Guess we'll be condemned now. I mean, we did not check with the moral police here to see if the way we did that was OK.

In a place I once found so comfortable I was able to write about the medical problems my wife was having and recieve such wonderful support from I cannot believe we now have a favored couple who will not have an avatar on here and will probably not come back to this board. Julie, I ask you personally how did it come to this. I also ask the moderators here the same thing.

These people were sharing a story they thought would be enticing , sexy and provocative. These were people who we all wanted to hear the end of two long stories they had shared. How do we flame them to this point. I trully do not recognize this place from this post.

 

mr. hmr

[Chicup 38]

hmr - This type of thread is very germane to the concept of swinging and how different people approach it. This is still the friendliest swingers forum out there. You are over reacting, exaggerating and being quite melodramatic (I hope that wasn't too unfriendly but come on).

 

Some of us, in fact many of us, feel that cheating is wrong, celebrating cheating is wrong, helping in cheating is wrong, and being part of it voluntarily is wrong. Should we be accepting of all stories, posted in the discussion section, regardless of what they contain? If it were children would it be ok? We all draw our lines somewhere, and a few of us said having sex with a drunken groom shortly before his wedding was perhaps not a good thing to do.

 

If you could explain to me how it is now not a comfortable place to talk about medical problems, or how you won't have any support I'd love to hear it. All of the naughty's single male conquests were well accepted, it was only the cheating aspect which drew any question here.

 

As a story, it was a great story, as a real event, it drew questions into the motivation behind swinging, and what sort of behavior people expect and accept.

 

Personally I'm somewhat shocked at how many swingers seem to think aiding in infidelity is not only ok but something we should celebrate. I wonder how those same people would think if the bride was their daughter, but thats another issue.

 

No one that I recall answered my question on how great a story it would have been if the ending was ‘and the tearful and emotionally devastated bride called off the wedding.’ Not everyone in the world is a swinger.

[destin-ez 15]

Read the top of the screen....There is a place titled "SWINGERS STORIES". That's where this thread should have been posted. For enjoyment/excitement for others to partake. NOT the discussion forum!!!!

 

I agree, it's a hot story, but when you post it here it's "Katie bar the doors"!!!!

[hmr 25]

Tell me chicup, do you write to penthouse forums about how their "stepping out" section is immoral because its all about people having sex with those other than their SO?

This is my point.The Naughty's were telling a story. that was all. It became a forum to moralize about the proper way to swing. Would we personally concider all the aspects discussed in this forum, .. yes. Does that mean I would tell these people they were wrong for not doing it? Absolutely not.

Does this make everyone feel good that we marginalized what most have said was a wonderful couple? That is where I see the lack of support. It is something I do not understand at all.

Mr hmr

[xray678 15]

one final thought on this. If you were not swingers, would it have been ok? If Mrs. Naughty were single would it be ok to seduce someone who she knew to be engaged and was about to be married?

 

Is it ok to mess around with a married person, if we don't know for sure that its ok with the spouse? Have we lost that much respect for marriage, even as swingers. If we don't respect someone else's marriage, how can we expect someone else to respect ours?

[Mr.Hyde69 16]

My fellow Virginian,

 

So you would have been perfectly ok with my wife fucking your husband and possibly putting you at an STD risk for some self serving sleazy ego stroke behind your back the night before your wedding ? Do tell.... I would love to hear the level of rationalization it would require you to actually possess if you responded yes to this inquiry.

 

P.S. There is a distinct difference between real life and the ficticious erotic scenarios submitted to a second rate skin mag.

 

Mr Hyde

[bunnyrabbits 17]

hmr - This type of thread is very germane to the concept of swinging and how different people approach it. This is still the friendliest swingers forum out there. You are over reacting, exaggerating and being quite melodramatic (I hope that wasn't too unfriendly but come on).

 

Some of us, in fact many of us, feel that cheating is wrong, celebrating cheating is wrong, helping in cheating is wrong, and being part of it voluntarily is wrong. Should we be accepting of all stories, posted in the discussion section, regardless of what they contain? If it were children would it be ok? We all draw our lines somewhere, and a few of us said having sex with a drunken groom shortly before his wedding was perhaps not a good thing to do.

 

If you could explain to me how it is now not a comfortable place to talk about medical problems, or how you won't have any support I'd love to hear it. All of the naughty's single male conquests were well accepted, it was only the cheating aspect which drew any question here.

 

As a story, it was a great story, as a real event, it drew questions into the motivation behind swinging, and what sort of behavior people expect and accept.

 

Personally I'm somewhat shocked at how many swingers seem to think aiding in infidelity is not only ok but something we should celebrate. I wonder how those same people would think if the bride was their daughter, but thats another issue.

 

No one that I recall answered my question on how great a story it would have been if the ending was ‘and the tearful and emotionally devastated bride called off the wedding.’ Not everyone in the world is a swinger.

 

 

Chicy, You keep bringing up pedophilia like this situation is equivelant. It is not, so it is a specious argument. Please stick to the facts.

 

Your second problem is that you make way too many assumptions about everyone involved. You weren't there, you do not know the intimate details of the discussions that took place, you do not know the groom either. There are a myriad of ways in which this situation would not have violated even your own high moral standards. (oops I made an assumption)

 

Were do swingers draw the line on fidelity? By definition, swinging has already moved the line from the criterion of the Judeau Christian ethic. What flavor of swinging is OK? I could go on and on......

 

Bottom line, you are way too judgemental and make too many assumptions to get to your high horse.

[hmr 25]

Amen Bunny

[curious_two 15]

We've lurked here for a few months but this thread is too interesting to pass up.

 

A couple of points. First, theres an interesting divide here not just between philosophy or values but personality type as well. My girlfriend has always been into the Meyers-Brigg psych evaluation that they use at many companies. In that test they rate you for various attributes on a scale where you lean toward one attribute or its opposite. This issue seems to break down between the judgers and the perceivers. IIRC, judgers are prone to make quick judgements on incomplete information and move on. They are comfortable with this. Perceivers are uncomfortable with making decisions with limited information. They always want more and more detailed information before they feel comfortable making judgements. Im not saying that values and philosophies play no role here but I think personality type is a factor in the reactions.

 

Secondly, I understand a difference in opinion but the unpleasant rhetoric is uncalled for in my opinion. The repeated references to pedophilia and "low-rent" behavior are kind of silly. If the general population were to rate the values of the posters here then "low-rent" would be probably be the kindest thing they would say.

 

To those on the highest of the high horses I would suggest that you have played emotional roulette with others yourself. Have you fully investigated each "couple" or "single" that you have played with? Does your due dilligence end with them saying, "this is my wife" or "I'm single" or "yes, we are ready for this"? I would suggest that its not much of a standard. The possibility if not the probability exists that you have played with someone while their true partner was confused and lonely at home or played with those who werent emotionally prepared to play.

 

That said, Im pretty sure that we wouldnt have done quite what the Naughties did but who knows, lapses in judgement are known to happen when sex is in the air. What I do know is that we've enjoyed the Naughties posts more than any others in this thread and on this board.

[curiousagain 326]

I think I am the one that first mentioned something about sex with a child. I was using it as an example that was universally not accepted here. I was using an extreme example to make a point easily understood. I certainly was not comparing the OP situation to pedophelia. Good grief!

 

What this thread has boiled down to is that some read the OP and gave kudos while others had reservations due to the circumstances and when expressing those were called the moral police, the taliban, etc.

 

Let's try another analogy. Some couples would think it was hot for the wife to meet a SM without her spouse, Some couples would think it was cheating. It's all about perception. Doesn't mean either is wrong or right, that is just their own perceptions and beliefs and both have a right to express those without being called the taliban or low renters or whatever.

 

Perceptions are also based on available information. The OP was originally the only information anybody had to go on therefore feelings and thoughts were based on that. It is no different to assume the bride would have been crushed by the news of the situation than to assume she would have been excited by the idea.

 

Common sense and life experiences will teach you a few things if you pay attention and if I was betting $20 on anything it would be that if the bride found out she would be emotionally crushed and enraged.

 

I don't begin to think people can tell other people how to live their lives but everyone has the right to say "I don't think I would have done that". And, just because the majority of people look down on one for being a swinger it doesn't mean one has to high five all swinging behavior whether you are into that or not. And, one can't excuse any behavior by saying "that's swinging".

 

To curious_two, yeah I've been sandbagged a time or two and found out later that the girl I was out with was actually married. I dropped them like a hot potato with a live grenade in the middle of it. Since they had lied to me about their marital status I had no guilt about anything that happened up until the moment I found out they were married. After that moment, the blame for anything that happened would have rested as squarely and heavily on my shoulders as theirs. So, while I don't run thorough background checks on everyone I date or swing with, I do ask some questions and I do pay attention to answers and actions and I do take responsibility for my actions. If someone else wants to cheat, I will not moralize to them, but I won't assist them in doing it. We all have to make our own decisions and live with them.

[Alura 2,766]

Welcome from Oklahoma, Curious_Two! We're glad y'all've joined us.

 

While we agree with some of your post and disagree with other aspects, we're struck by your well-written opinions and hope y'all'll "de-lurk" and join us in talking about more subjects.

 

We also mildly object to your use of "low-rent" to describe our members just as much as we object to the use of the terms "taliban" and "moral police." We try to stay away from name-calling and hope y'all will too in the future.

 

We do, however, commend y'all for an excellent post and hope to read many more from the two of you in the future. Please stop by our "Introductions" forum and tell us more about yourselves.

 

Alura

[curious_two 15]

Thanks for the welcome.

 

I should say though that I was just quoting "low-rent" from a description of the Naughties behavior found in this thread. The only point was to show that it was uncalled for and that similar rude judgements could be levelled by society at large at just about everyone here (not excluding us).

[Mr.Hyde69 16]

Curious Two,

 

I would have to disagree with you on your assessment of this situation.

Though J's are more likely to rush to judgment than P's ,this is not the case here. We all were presented all of the necessary data required for a clear and concise synopsis.

 

1) The offending party clearly stated their intent.

2) They knew this guy's marital status.

3) They stated a sense of heightened gratification based on

the deviance of the situation.

4) They did it anyway despite knowlege of all of the

forementioned.

 

Now if the Naughties had just run into this guy in a bar portraying himself as a single guy looking for a goodtime that is one thing. I would have to agree with your line of thinking.Since they had prior knowlege that this guy was nothing of the sort I would have to strongly disagree. The other examples that you gave to those you say were on steeds of the highest degree I would also have to disagree based on the same priciples that I have previously stated.

 

Hyde

[Alura 2,766]

Curious_Two wrote:

 

I should say though that I was just quoting "low-rent" from a description of the Naughties behavior found in this thread. The only point was to show that it was uncalled for and that similar rude judgements could be levelled by society at large at just about everyone here (not excluding us).

 

Our apologies. We haven't followed this thread as closely as we should have because we have little interest in the "Hot Wife" lifestyle. We were unaware the term had been previously used. That comes from speed-reading, perhaps, but we don't offer that as an excuse. We now realize y'all put "low-rent" into quotes. We should have caught that.

 

Alura

[jennandjamesinm 87]

You know, we wouldn't either and now I'm wondering why my first reaction was what it was. I guess I just wasn't thinking about all the people involved and what it might mean to them.

 

-B

 

Brad - I feel like I am in the same boat as you here. I enjoyed the story, but I too didn't think of the others involved.....If I take anything out of this thread it will be this - that this thread made me examine what my likes and dislikes are, and what I will and won't do.

 

Jenn

[curious_two 15]

Curious Two,

 

I would have to disagree with you on your assessment of this situation.

Though J's are more likely to rush to judgment than P's ,this is not the case here. We all were presented all of the necessary data required for a clear and concise synopsis.

Hyde

 

Spoken like a J. heh. As a P, I would need much more information to truly feel comfortable in registering a strong opinion. In fact I would probably need to see the documentary, the directors cut and spend several hours reviewing the transcript before I was really comfortable. No, im not talking about the sex parts, lol. What they provided was a short story intended for titillation and thats not much of a reference for a P to work with.

 

I think the reference to personality types holds but it doesnt matter either way.

[Vespertine 31]

I would have to disagree with you on your assessment of this situation.

Though J's are more likely to rush to judgment than P's ,this is not the case here. We all were presented all of the necessary data required for a clear and concise synopsis.

 

1) The offending party clearly stated their intent.

2) They knew this guy's marital status.

3) They stated a sense of heightened gratification based on

the deviance of the situation.

4) They did it anyway despite knowlege of all of the

forementioned.

I don't think anyone is qualified to judge the Naughty's encounter with this man. I don't think we have enough information to do so.

 

We do not know if the bachelor in question had permission from his fiance' to go out and have as much fun as possible.

 

-Most of us just assumed he didn't.

 

We also do not know if this engaged couple were swingers.

 

-Most of us just assumed they weren't.

 

Perhaps they have an open relationship? We don't know if they do or not because none of us on this board know the bachelor or his bride-to-be. We're all just assuming what kind of relationship they have.

 

From what I read, the bachelor was at that party with at least one condom. To me, having a condom on your person, indicates that you are out looking for a sexual encounter. I don't think Mrs. Naughty corrupted him or dangled herself in front of him to seduce him into sexual submission. Clearly, he was looking for what he found.

 

What I do know, is that some couples do allow their SO to "live it up" at their bachelor/bachelorette party. My husband and I were such a couple with that kind of understanding. We weren't swingers then, btw.

 

I think it's great that we all have different opinions, it's great to share them and learn from each other. That's what this board is about. I will not play with cheaters. I also believe that we are all responsible for our own actions. If this bachelor did not have such an agreement with his fiance, he should never have let things progress with Mrs. Naughty. This is his responsibility.

 

When we use another person as an example of our opinion and personalize it at their expense, it can be very hurtful (especially if we were not directly involved in the situation and don't know exactly what the facts are.).

 

I'm not replying to your post because I wanted to express my opinion only to you, I address this to the entire board. It's just that you had a cool list that I could incorporate into my post.

[Alura 2,766]

I think most agree that we are not the people to decide whether the Naughties "sinned" or not. Nor should we, in my opinion, care.

 

The bottom line is that we've lost a good member with no apparent likelihood of their returning. That's not good, and brings me to a couple of more questions.

 

Should Board Members keep their mouths shut, not giving their opinion, in order to save good members?

 

Were the Naughties too "sensitive?"

 

Did they have a right to become irate because some thought they erred?

 

Is the "Hot Wife" lifestyle a valid part of swinging?

 

If so, should "Hot Wifers" have their own Forum, like the singles do?

 

Mr. Alura

[Spoomonkey 418]

Should Board Members keep their mouths shut, not giving their opinion, in order to save good members?

 

I know this is what I did. I love the Naughties - as strong as my personal opinion was on this issue, I did not want to post simply because I respect them.

 

I think that early reaction was wrong.

 

Perhaps a friend having a question might have kept things from getting so ugly. Then again, in hindsight, I'm not so sure it would have, because...

 

Were the Naughties too "sensitive?"

 

I think they felt very strongly that what they did was going to anger some folks. He said so - and posted it anyway. I have to think they wanted to debate the "hot wife" issue - as much as they and others have said that we all should have just read the "story" and ignored the potential reality...

 

Did they have a right to become irate because some thought they erred?

 

No - for the very reason above.

 

A lot of folks have gotten on to folks for making assumptions. It may be true that the bachelor had permission from his fiancee to get freaky. It may be true that they were swingers themselves. However, given the pure demographics, I'd have to say that those are much more ridiculous assumptions than it would be to assume that none of the above was true.

 

A small minority of people are swingers and a small minority of women want their future husbands out banging strangers. The chances are far greater that if this woman ever found out what her husband did, she would be hurt. That, to me is irresponsible, insensitive and simply not the kind of "swinging" that I can respect.

 

They knew while posting this that people would feel this way.

 

Is the "Hot Wife" lifestyle a valid part of swinging?

 

Certainly it is.

 

If so, should "Hot Wifers" have their own Forum, like the singles do?

 

I don't think so. I think the adventures of the Naughties throughout these boards have entertained and inspired lots of us. From the water boy to the maintainence man, we have all followed their adventures with an almost Christmas-like eagerness.

 

In fact, even this adventure belongs in the general discussion area because it IS swinging - even if it is not the best side of it. It is just a shame that this can not be discussed by some without insults and finger pointing.

 

Spoomonkey

[Vespertine 31]

The bottom line is that we've lost a good member with no apparent likelihood of their returning. That's not good, and brings me to a couple of more questions.

 

Should Board Members keep their mouths shut, not giving their opinion, in order to save good members?

I think we can express our opinions without preaching to someone that what they did was "wrong". "Wrong" for some of us is "right" for some of us. I think what it comes down to is, that we should express our opinions without making people feel bad about their choices or opinions.

 

A good example might be:

 

"Glad ya'll had a splendid time! Not something I would do though. I'd be afraid that the Mrs. To Be might come and get revenge!"

Were the Naughties too "sensitive?"

 

Did they have a right to become irate because some thought they erred?

No, I don't think they were too sensitive. One member chastised them for not using condoms. What business is it of their's to dictate if the Naughtys practice safe sex?

 

I think a few posters just kept posting over and over and over regarding their distaste of the Naughty's choices. I think that's a little much. It would certainly piss me off. Tell me your opinion once, but please don't shove it down my throat.

 

I've seen you express your differing opinion regarding people's choices. You always manage to do so, Al, without making the poster feel attacked or belittled. You do so with kindness and without judging them. We should all use you as an example .

Is the "Hot Wife" lifestyle a valid part of swinging?

I think it depends on your definition of Swinging. For some people it is, for others it isn't.

If so, should "Hot Wifers" have their own Forum, like the singles do?

No, then we'd have to have a MFM forum, a FMF forum, a soft swinging forum, a Bisexual forum, etc. We don't have enough room for a forum for everyone's pleasure of choice.

[Miss_Piggy 98]

I think that's a great idea, actually. I'd like to see a forum for Bisexual Wives who like MFM threesomes.

[Vespertine 31]

 

-V

[FunCoupleCnS 15]

It is just a shame that this can not be discussed by some without insults and finger pointing.

 

Spoomonkey

Dito to that. I've been reading posts on this board alot longer than I've been a member & I enjoyed it a whole bunch more when we didn't have that. Seems like a while back, even if people didn't agree, the posts didn't get ugly. Maybe I missed those before. But the fact that this group got along so well & was so friendly is 1 of the reasons for our joining. Sure hope it gets back to that.

[Alura 2,766]

I'm not worried, FunCouple. The posts will return to their friendliness. We seem to have periods, usually in direct relation to how controversial a topic is, during which folks get a bit more radical in their posts. It's probably because they feel strongly about their stand on the subject at hand.

 

This board really is different from others on the internet where creative insulting seems to be the goal.

 

Mr. Alura

[DBL D 120]

I agree with you Alura...The board will change again before you know it. I love this B.O.S.L.P. and I for one don't mind the occaisional low brow moments as they remind me how nice it is to live in a country where we still can say what is on our minds in just about any way we feel like.

 

I started a thread once about whether swingers were too sensitive. Personally I think we are. When we meet someone new and there are problems, or better, differences, it seems easier to say someone hurt your feelings and move on than to work it out. Damn shame. So many nice people get dismissed for nothing, usually.

 

Male D

[jcbicouple 24]

Should Board Members keep their mouths shut, not giving their opinion, in order to save good members?

What would be the point of having a discussion board if no one shared their opinions? One of the reasons we've always enjoyed this board is that everyone has been able to be opinionated but still have an intelligent discussion.

(

 

 

Were the Naughties too "sensitive?"

Just an opinion but it seemed like they were.

People get very opinionated about the use of condoms, gang bang participation, bisexuality, etc. Most don't leave the board over it.

 

Did they have a right to become irate because some thought they erred?

They have a right to feel whatever they feel, and to express their opinions. We're sorry they felt so irate, but if they didn't want any comments other than "Atta girls!" they should have posted in the stories section. If it's in the discussion, to us, you're requesting discussion.

 

Is the "Hot Wife" lifestyle a valid part of swinging?

Everything seems to have a title. We suppose it is, but we don't have to agree with it when it includes what we percieve to be disrespectful or potentially hurtfull to others. (Just to clarify: We don't think being a "Hot wife" means you're trying to do anything that would be disrespectful or potentially hurtfull.)

 

If so, should "Hot Wifers" have their own Forum, like the singles do?

There are plenty of them on the internet, just as there are for any other title you can possibly think of. Should they have a spot here? Guess that's up to Julie. But..............

 

If we had to post in specific places where everyone agreed with us or only came there to troll when we wanted to discuss Gang bangs, bisexuality, condoms (or the lack there of), DP, or any of the other highly contraversial activities we enjoy participating in, it certainly wouldn't be as much fun to post or read. The discussion and occasional debate is the reason we come here! We want to hear other peoples view points. We don't have to agree, and sometimes we strongly disagree, but so does everyone else. That's why most of us come back again, and again, and again. ok, I'm getting down now. soapbox he he

[hmr 25]

My fellow Virginian,

 

So you would have been perfectly ok with my wife fucking your husband and possibly putting you at an STD risk for some self serving sleazy ego stroke behind your back the night before your wedding ? Do tell.... I would love to hear the level of rationalization it would require you to actually possess if you responded yes to this inquiry.

 

P.S. There is a distinct difference between real life and the ficticious erotic scenarios submitted to a second rate skin mag.

 

Mr Hyde

 

Considering you asked this from a woman's perspective, and mr hmr wrote the original response, mrs hmr will answer...

 

Yes Mr Hyde,

 

It would have been perfectly ok for my husband to fuck your wife the night before our wedding. My rationalization?... Putting me at risk for an STD? He would have worn a condom for both our protection. I would have been at no more risk than when we first met and became sexually involved. I knew nothing of his past then. Behind my back? Some people may have considered it so, since we were not swingers at the time. Mr was in the navy, and gone 3 1/2 months at a time. When we first started dating he told me to not expect him to be faithful while he was away, and I accepted that. He was a young mass of raging hormones trapped on a submarine for 75 days at a time, and halfway around the world from home when they surfaced. We agreed we could both see other people during those times. We had an understanding, "don't bring anything home to me I need to see the doctor for" and vice versa. When he came home, he was DD free and clean every time. I never worried, we had something else... love. I never doubted his love, or that we were meant to be married. I expected him to have one last fling. Your wife would have been just the ticket. Too bad she wasn't there!

A last fling the night before making a lifetime commitment to one person is not the same as cheating on a spouse to me. That is just my opinion, and like assholes everyone has one.

 

mrs hmr

[10thBadger 24]

On 9/10/2005 at 5:18 PM, Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty said:

Mrs Naughty and I went on a weekend vacation not to long ago and booked a room at a motel.

 

When we get to the motel we find the parking lot full of men (at least20) throwing a party, Mrs naughty's eyes lit with delight, and I knew exactly what she was thinking . We check into the motel and hang out on the balcony over looking the party. The men notice us up on the balcony and I go inside for a minute, when I did Mrs Naughty flashed her titties to the group below, which was met with great cheers .

 

I walked back outside as she was putting her titties away, at this point we quickly get an invite down to their party.

 

So of course we went.....

 

Well, it ended up that it was a bachelor party.

 

Mrs Naughty, not being able to resist herself started heavy flirting with the bachelor boy (BB).

 

All the men where cheering her on (including his dad) and she proceeded to give him a lap dance right there in the front yard (BTW, I should mention she was wearing a bikini )

 

As time progresses and the sun goes down things get a little hotter,

 

By now the guys at the party know "what we do" because they asked an we told.

 

Somewhere along the evening Mrs naughty got her hands on his cock and found it pleasently thick (Which she enjoys the most )

 

She comes up to me whispers in my ear "He's thick, I'm going to fuck him!"

 

So I told her "I bet you $20 you don't fuck him tonight" (Mrs naughty loves a challenge )

 

So off she went...

 

Later in the evening the party moved upstars to the balcony of their motel rooms. Mrs naughty and her soon to be fuck toy went out on the back deck and began to kiss and fondle each other. She carressed his cock until it started to become hard. While he sat in a chair Mrs naughty pulled out his cock and began to give him a blow job. Meanwhile all the guys at the party were wondering what they were doing out there and kept interrupting so they locked the door. At this point point Mrs naughty straddled him, slid her bikini bottom to the side and slipped his thick cock into her now wet pussy and began to ride him until she reached orgasm facelick .

 

She said it didn't take very long because she was turned on, not only by his cock, but the naughtieness of what she was doing.

 

At this point I had no idea that she was blowing or fucking him, I just knew they were out on the back porch.

After their encounter Mrs naughty and her fuck toy came back in from the porch and she wispered in my ear that I owed her $20, at which point my cock got hard immediately because I knew exactly what she was talking about .

 

We went back to our motel room and she told me of her playtime and how it unfolded.

 

So, needless to say, I had to give her the 20 I had in my wallet, she said it was the funnest $20 she had ever earned and after that we fucked like rabbits !!

 

We haven't shared an adventure with you folks lately and figured it was time for one.

 

Life Is Good!!!! facelick

Let’s hope he still had a wedding and nobody that was drunk slip and let the bride know. It is funny but at the same time it is sad