Emotions - the first time you saw your partner with someone else?

[jennandjamesinm 87]

In the vanilla world, I am what I would call "territorial". I don't consider it to be jealously at all. It is sort of what is mine is mine in the real world. James and I are approaching swinging with "our eyes wide open." I see that just talking about swinging has brought us closer, we are open and honest with each other, and I'm finding that we communicate very well - about the positive and negative things. It would be so hot to see him with another woman giving him pleasure (not even full swap), but I wonder about my reaction. Where I won't be jealous, I'm wondering about the emotions that go along with it. We've discussed it, almost to death, and for me the sensual aspect far outweighs anything else. Also, I know that I will be there because one of our "rules" (thanks for the great advice!!!) is that we are a same room couple. The first time you saw your partner with another person, how did you feel, what was your reaction to it? I'd like input from women and men......Thanks ya'll!!!

 

Jenn

[Guest Pinmonkey]

Jenn, the first time I've seen the Mrs. with someone it was great. Suck a turn on. I wasn't at all jealous. As far as I'm concerned, as long as there aren't any secrets, everything is fine.

[J&C39466 16]

Hi Jenn, glad to see some more people from Mississippi joining this site. I too have had alot of thoughts concerning emotions when it comes right down to seeing the wife with another man. We have talked and talked and well,you get the picture. To fantasize about this is one thing,but to actually go through with it is another matter. I guess you never really know how you are going to handle it until it happens. But rest assured,you have come to the right place. These guys and gals are very friendly and informative and their advice and expertise are very helpful. Oh by the way,we're in south MS. So maybe we could hook-up some time. J.

[jennandjamesinm 87]

To fantasize about this is one thing,but to actually go through with it is another matter. I guess you never really know how you are going to handle it until it happens. But rest assured,you have come to the right place. These guys and gals are very friendly and informative and their advice and expertise are very helpful. Oh by the way,we're in south MS. So maybe we could hook-up some time. J.

 

I agree J - I'm never going to fully know until it actually happens. And you are so right - These guys and gals are SUPER informative, I truly learn something new everyday.

 

Mr. Pin - Thanks for the insight, it helps knowing from both sides.....

 

Having said that, can anyone else add to this?

 

Jenn

[lovefest04 685]

Hi Jenn,

 

I can only speak for myself (male half) so here it is.

 

The first time was very erotic and I experienced a lot of negative emotions. Watching and participating in her blossoming as a sexual being was amazing. She was in control, but not in control, she was sexy and playful in a way I hadn't seen, she was flirtatious and much like a cat in her movements. She is an amazing woman.

 

That said i was nervous and scared. I had a lot of shit that started going on in my head. Why would she want to be with another man, why did she smile like that etc etc. I definitly had to process the experience over a few days to get a handle on my feelings. Bottom line is that, for me, a lot of my feeling were about me. Insecurity, feeling left out (i wasn't), feeling vunerable.

 

Her consistent love and attention after the first, her willingness to be open to my concerns and my insecurities without just brushing them aside helped a lot. As i said shes and amazing woman.

 

Fast forward to today. We've had at least 8 encounters over the past 14 months, some with couples and some with single men. It's been wonderful and we feel closer than ever. Swinging has added a new dimension to our relationship without changing what we already had.

 

It works for us because we communicate and we both know that nothing can come between the two of us, ever. We are a team and no matter what happens late some Friday night we will always be a team.

 

Hope this helps.

[intuition897 2,177]

Hi Jenn,

...i was nervous and scared. I had a lot of shit that started going on in my head. Why would she want to be with another man, why did she smile like that etc etc. I definitly had to process the experience over a few days to get a handle on my feelings. Bottom line is that, for me, a lot of my feeling were about me. Insecurity, feeling left out (i wasn't), feeling vunerable.

...Swinging has added a new dimension to our relationship without changing what we already had.

 

It works for us because we communicate and we both know that nothing can come between the two of us, ever. We are a team and no matter what happens late some Friday night we will always be a team.

 

You'll never know what kind of soldier you are until you're in the trenches and under fire, unfortunately. What lovefest said about a lot of shit going on in your head is true. It can and does happen. When it does, it's important to remain objective and not let your emotions overwhelm you. Emotions should be listened to, but don't let them push you around. If you normally trust your partner with your life outside of swinging, and truly believe in your heart of hearts that he would never knowingly hurt you, it's pretty safe to assume that the panic that you might be feeling, the feelings of sadness or aloneness or being left out or hurt, are the product of your own imagination playing on your insecurities.

 

The first time I saw Mr. intuition with another woman, I was strangely unemotional about it. I was just so fascinated with watching it happen that I didn't really do a lot of thinking about it. I never once thought that he might have ulterior motive, however; we went into full-swap swinging after we had a bit of a revelation in our relationship, so we were very close to one another. Swinging only intensified those feelings of closeness for us; how could it not? I see him doing the unthinkable, the most horrible thing that could possibly happen to a standard marriage, and realize that this other woman, no matter how awesome she is in bed or how beautiful, will never take my place in his heart. And we love each other for giving each this kind of freedom. Sex is just a paper tiger for us now, there is no threat left in it at all. Hope this helps

[jennandjamesinm 87]

 

It works for us because we communicate and we both know that nothing can come between the two of us, ever. We are a team and no matter what happens late some Friday night we will always be a team.

 

Hope this helps.

Lovefest - yes it does help - ALOT!!! I think you put it perfectly, because we feel the same way - being a team no matter what.

 

You'll never know what kind of soldier you are until you're in the trenches and under fire, unfortunately. What lovefest said about a lot of shit going on in your head is true. It can and does happen. When it does, it's important to remain objective and not let your emotions overwhelm you. Emotions should be listened to, but don't let them push you around. If you normally trust your partner with your life outside of swinging, and truly believe in your heart of hearts that he would never knowingly hurt you, it's pretty safe to assume that the panic that you might be feeling, the feelings of sadness or aloneness or being left out or hurt, are the product of your own imagination playing on your insecurities.

 

The first time I saw Mr. intuition with another woman, I was strangely unemotional about it. I was just so fascinated with watching it happen that I didn't really do a lot of thinking about it. I never once thought that he might have ulterior motive, however; we went into full-swap swinging after we had a bit of a revelation in our relationship, so we were very close to one another. Swinging only intensified those feelings of closeness for us; how could it not? I see him doing the unthinkable, the most horrible thing that could possibly happen to a standard marriage, and realize that this other woman, no matter how awesome she is in bed or how beautiful, will never take my place in his heart. And we love each other for giving each this kind of freedom. Sex is just a paper tiger for us now, there is no threat left in it at all. Hope this helps

 

Mrs. Intutition - WOW - well put. What you said DEFINETLY helps. I trust James implicitly, and I think you hit it on the head for me - no one will ever take my place in his heart. He tells me that all of the time, even tells me that if I just wanted to drop swinging altogether, it wold be fine with him, becasue I am all he needs. Thanks for bringing this home to me.........

 

Jenn

[Utopian Couple 15]

Still really do not consider ourselves "swinger's" per se, but we have a couple we met through SLS with whom we are very good friends. Our friendship just happens to have an extra-added dynamic! I wasn't exactly sure how I would feel during or after "things" until, well, during and after.

 

Last Friday night was our first time to really do much of anything, and we stayed up until like 3 or 4 am laughing, drinking, hanging out, listening to music, with plenty of teasing, making-out, groping, nakedness, and oral sex thrown in for good measure. I told my wife as we talked over the next few days about how it felt for me. I didn't feel like it was me with the other female or her with the other male, but rather my wife and I sharing a sexual experience together. We could watch each other...I loved watching her and seeing things I had so often experienced from a different angle, we could talk, we could look into each other's eyes, and even still touch(some of the time anyway!). During one particularly intimate moment with this four in-line thing(with the girls in the middle of the line facelick ), we were holding hands and I was stroking her hair. Wow! Very intimate, very connected... Being with this other couple enhanced a sexual experience for us as a couple, not for me and for her, but for us. It was as it should be, or the way we think it should be anyway. No jealousy, no insecurities...well, my wife had a couple of the little,"Did she____better than me?" things, but they were easily reassurred. Why should there be insecurities? No one can ever be better than my wife because of the emotional, psychic bond we have and because I love her. And as for jealousy...our bodies and even our minds to a lesser extent might be "on loan" for a brief time, but our hearts belong to each other... So there is my diatribe on emotions! Sorry to get so windy...

 

Mister half of Utopian Couple

[DaveNSheila 16]

Mr Utopian Couple said it best. The part about being able to see what she does to me from a different angle. When S and I have sex or make love when I am ready to orgasm she rolls her hips now that may seem small but so far she is the only one that I have been with that does that. She just naturally does it. So the first time we swapped it was neat to watch her body movements and to finally see how her body moves when she does what she does. I feel it and now I know what it looks like when she does that. That was the first thing for me about swapping. We both know that we have each others heart and no matter what at the end of the night or the end of the play session we are going home together. It is just fun a way to pass time and a different recreational sport. Now my think of different things and try to do different things all of which has to meet S's approval. Our thing lately has been driving along the Interstates naked and giving a show of some sort.. Ok sorry got off track and went off into left field. The emotions will be there and just ride through them sounds like you both know that you love each other and well talk afterwards and you will both see that you are still both there for each other. D

[djjwp 129]

Depends...

 

The first several times I seen my first wife with another man was wild and wonderful. We did separate rooms and I got to look in on them when his wife and I took a break. I was so excited by what I seen that his wife enjoyed round 2 better than round 1!

 

Negative emotions entered the picture when he came over alone and she did him with me sitting there. I’m NOT a cuckold and had no intentions of sitting on the bench but she said she could not handle two of us at one time, OK for a while but after they had played for a while, we took a break and then when I got back to the room, they were in more of a romantic play than sex. This hurt as I was excluded. My advice is to NEVER lock your spouse out of the event and always do what you are going to do as a couple. Your spouse should always be treated as number one unless they express otherwise.

[clit pro poet 15]

JennandJamesinm wrote "...for me the sensual aspect far outweighs anything else. Also, I know that I will be there because one of our "rules" (thanks for the great advice!!!) is that we are a same room couple. The first time you saw your partner with another person, how did you feel, what was your reaction to it?"

 

(Mr. writing this one) I've wondered why something that most couples wouldn't be bothered with - or worse, somethng way over the top (sic) - feels comfortable, natural and fun (!) to me. In the way-back past, Mrs. experienced loss of affections in couples that she knew as close friends. I did not. My experiences ranged from same room with a small crowd of acquaintances and friends, to private visits. That was then.

Nowadays, the satisfaction of past, present, and future life with her has lead me to think sexually as a couple almost all the time. This was surprising to realize, and nice, and, potentially, comfortable to share, if that's what we feel like. The sensual aspect IS a wonder, and if tricky emotions come up, you have familiar, loving, hands right there to let your concentration get back to what you're doing.

Good thread! Enjoyed every post. 'Hope this one helps too.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

The first time you saw your partner with another person, how did you feel, what was your reaction to it? I'd like input from women and men......Thanks ya'll!!!

 

Jenn

 

For me it was AWESOME!!!

But you have to understand, it wasn't just my fantasy to form a Mrs Naughty sandwhich, it was both of ours facelick .

 

The first time we had an MFM, we said to ourselves afterwards, "Why did we wait so long?"

 

As far as Mrs Naughty seeing me with another woman, I don't think it was quite as hot for her as what I experience when watching her. She was okay with it, but it really didn't do anything for her either way.

 

But on the same token it wasn't as hot for me either. Fun? yes!

 

But it wasn't the fantasy that we both get worked up over:

 

The Amazing Mrs Naughty Sandwhich facelick

[cuteIDcouple 16]

One thing that came to mind (sorry if this has been mentioned elsewhere)

 

Our first mfm experience Mrs kept looking at me as if concerned about what I was thinking or feeling, so much so I could tell she wasn't enjoying herself fully.

 

We talked at great length that night after we were alone, and I expressed to her I wanted her to disconnect from me, totally get into the moment with the other guy. I wanted her to fully release and enjoy herself. It meant more to me to see the pleasure in her face and actions than for her to be worried about me.

 

I wanted her to disconnect from me because we always come back together at the end and after the other guy leaves, then we stay up talking about how great it was. I want her to give me every detail as if she was talking to her best girlfriend, I want to know if she had the best sex ever, and what was better about it. after all I know there will always be some one that can do things better than me, and if she lets me know about it then I can become her best. If she were to keep that from me and make me believe I was the best when I wasn't then the other guy will always be better.

 

On our second encounter she was able to experience her first orgasm with intercourse, it was AMAZING to watch, I even helped hold her legs up.

 

Now she has no problems letting go and instead of a look of worry she gives me a look of thanks, of 'you're amazing' , and 'I'm so lucky this is awesome' ... we have a lot of eye contact but it's sensual and reassures ourselves that we are sharing each other in a much higher level.

[CandTinLorainCo 16]

Well Jenn....Our first experience was, lets say, quite shocking to say the least for all involved. We were with "Vanilla" friends having a wonderful evening in the hot tub relaxing drinking nothing else, so after a few drinks, the women decided to get more... comfy? No big deal, kinda cool actually. None of us had ever discussed or thought "swinging" at least aloud anyhow. Once we got inside the 2 couples had split off, the guys were rubbing baby oil on thier respective wives when out of no where one wife reached to help rub the oil on the other wife. Ok. No harm, no foul. All of a sudden now we have one wife with the other husbands cock in thier mouth sucking away..... again mind you...this was with Vanilla friends...... so needless to say all for of us were shocked to death at first(especially me) the husbands looked at each other like "uh, dude your wife has my cock in her mouth?" With the suprise of this we all four realized that "hey this is kinda cool" and the rest is history as they say... now were full swap with them and have no thoughts of ever turning back, it's a wild, thrilling,exciting adventure that has helped us all as couples and as friends. But inital shocks and learning thru process's and mistakes along the way that feeling of jealousy or that ache in your gut....it goes away, and you just enjoy it for what it is...... utter pleasure!

 

-T

[NtyKittensMan 16]

Last two nights we have met this very nice couple. Its only been kissing and a little petting, kinda building up the sexual tension between us. Which is a real turn on.

 

Seeing my wife kissing another man and woman for the first time was just totally hot. I was completely comfortable with this and relaxed, and best of all happy to have such a wonderful couple to make me feel this way.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

Even though I'd had a good bit of experience before I worried about the first time I would see Pet with someone else. We'd made it through him kissing and fondling other women and it hadn't really phased me. What I found when we finally had the opportunity to be with another couple was surprising to me, I felt excited and VERY turned on seeing him with another woman.

 

Even with all my past experience I had never felt that way seeing my partner with someone else, I'd always felt a bit ambivelent about my partners actions. Every relationship is different.

[Tia Vampire 167]

We were both jealous as hell. I could not stand watching his penis slide in and out of another woman and he could not stand to see me give another guy head. We had to end up trying being with others in seperate room, which was better for the both of us. Now after a year, we are better at being able to watch each other without those jealous feelings.

[lakeluvrs 65]

The first time was fine for us. I could tell the Mrs. was totally owning the other guy. (My wife has muscle control that can reduce grown men to tears.) So I was really enjoying watching him try to last longer than 30 seconds. It was extremely arousing to see her doing that to him. My wife had a little bit of jealousy because the girl was very petite and pretty and was one of those that looked even better naked than partially clothed. But that jealousy went away quickly and it was a great night.

 

The problem for me was a year or so into our swinging career when we were with a couple we'd played with once before and in the middle of it my wife quit her moaning long enough to scream that she was coming. That's when the jealousy siren went off in my head. I can only make her come from intercourse with no other help about once every 50 times, and here was this dude doing it on his second attempt. And it wasn't just any old come, this was a walls-falling-down orgasm. When the initial shock wore off, I realized the jealousy part of the brain must be wired to the arousal part, because while I was worrying about the fact that this guy had just given her better sex than I ever had, I was also thinking "I hope we can meet these people next weekend so he can do it again!"

 

Now I hope to have that jealousy/arousal every time. It's one of the greatest highs I've ever had.

[ktimephoenix 156]

not having experienced a full swap, i can only go on the soft aspect. I walked out of the bathroom to see mrs phoenix hooking up with the male of the couple. shocked at first? yep. i felt a little empty. but i quickly realised that the empty feeling was the lack of jealousy that i was expecting to feel. after that it was just hot.

[des1re06 200]

Turned on and yes I knew why she was screaming and moaning.

 

Mrs. D

[tangyspecial 31]

I love this thread, so I am going to post 4 different firsts and the emotions we had with each of them.

 

Our very first experience was a MFM with a vanilla friend. The Mr. was VERY turned on and not the least bit jealous. I, on the other hand, couldn't really enjoy myself because I was too busy looking to the Mr. to make sure he was ok with things every step of the way. Afterwards, we talked about it a lot and he made me realize I had no need to worry and he wanted me to just enjoy myself.

 

Our second new experience was FF with the hubbies watching. The other female and I got naked in the hot tub out of view of the hubbies while they talked. We played around in there for a while before getting out to get on a bed and noticing the hubbies were gone. We were on the bed with her face planted between my legs when the hubbies returned. The look on my Mr.'s face was priceless. His arousal made me even hotter. A few hours of playing later (and so many O's later we lost count), the Mr. and I went back to our hotel room. We didn't really talk much that night because we were too busy having our own wild fun. I felt more relaxed in that situation because I didn't even have to ask if he enjoyed it. His expressions made it obvious. Once we did talk about it, he said that he was incredibly turned on and loved being able to finally see me expressing my bi side. (I have always been a 4 on the Kinsey scale, but he never witnessed it because we were monogamous.)

 

Our third new experience was a full swap with the same couple. I was originally worried how I would react to seeing the Mr. with another woman, but I knew I loved the idea of it. Seeing it in person was incredibly HOT!!! I absolutely LOVED seeing him work his magic. I got so caught up watching, that it ended up being mostly me watching the 3 of them together, but I didn't mind one bit. That time it was his turn to worry if I was ok with everything, but I was. The only "jealousy" I felt was wishing I could hurry up and have him all to myself again so I could ravage him.

 

The fourth new experience was a FFM with a vanilla friend of mine. I was a tad concerned going into it because she had told me she was only socially bi, only had one FFM experience before, and she didn't enjoy it but was willing to try again. I knew I wanted to be with her, and I knew that the Mr. did as well. I was pretty sure I would end up only playing with the Mr. during the experience and was trying to prepare myself so I wouldn't be jealous of him being able to touch her. Luckily, once we were all together, she ended up being more bi than she wanted to admit. We ended up tag teaming her (for lack of better words), and everything was incredibly HOT. No issues arose from anyone over it.

 

Now we have experienced every situation we have wanted to experience and discovered no issues with any of them. Now we can roll with whatever situation presents itself and just have fun.

 

Sorry for the book of an answer. heh

[JustMrJ 178]

I will answer from the male point of view and pass on a few things my wife said after our first event.

 

When I saw her beginning to get pleasured by another man I can honestly say the first thing that came to mind is "Is she okay?" Then she got more comfortable with the first guy, saw there was another whom she at spoken with just observing and proceeded to invite him to join the first man in giving her 'service'. I was just enjoying seeing her writhe and moan slightly in response to these two gentlemen. After they began the 'full treatment' I saw she was smiling and beginning her 'singing', then I thought "yep... she's okay."

 

I had absolutely no jealous thoughts about this as we have a very strong 'love' bond and friendship bond as well. Seeing her being pleasured like that was extremely enjoyable and a heck of a turn on!

 

Later she told me that when she first saw me start to play with the hostess with her observing, she said that she got a twinge of jealousy at first, but then thought... "It doesn't matter... he's coming home with me."

 

Hope that helps. *HUGS*

[Cpl2share 147]

We had engaged in a lot of soft play over the 5 years preceding our first swap. Mrs. Cpl has always been able to seperate sex and love, I have not. I started out being that guy who gets pissed off (at her) if some other guy gave her a second look. Over the years I mellowed out (at least in that respect) and it was actually me who brought up swinging in the first place. When we decided to do our first house party and knew for a fact that we would be swapping we dealt with the reality of sex with others. It turned out that I was not only okay with Mrs. Cpl playing and screwing another man, but found it a turn on. Mrs. Cpl on the other hand had trouble with seeing me with another woman. In fact the hardest part for her was to see me going down on another woman. We have learned that even though I am the posessive one in the rest of life, she is the one who is posessive of my body. Guess that means that she does like me. LOL

[nhcpl1968 18]

mixed emotions but then we talked and felt alot better

[jimnjan 16]

Even now, my reaction is the same. I love watching him melt a woman! But we have learned that her partner better be melting me or its a no-go.

[blondie77 17]

Our first time playing was definately not the best. Hubby and I thought we had discussed everything and covered every possible thing we could, but nothing can prepare you for the first time you see your S.O. with someone else. For our first time it was with just one woman and I definately felt jealous. There wasn't any sex involved that first time, but some very serious soft play. I had such mixed emotions afterwards, mainly because I was the one who initially brought up swinging and then I was the one who had second thoughts about the whole thing. I didn't really get jealous about anything sexual they did except the kissing. I don't know why that bothered me...but it really did. Just seeing my husband kissing another woman about stopped my heart...but nothing else he did with her had that same effect on me. I think it was mainly shock, at first; perhaps I thought I'd bitten off a little more than I could chew. One positive thing came out of that situation though: Hubby and I had the most heartfelt talk afterwards and I have never felt closer to him than at that moment. It really brought us closer, gave us new things to talk about, and an opportunity to reassure each other. I am happy to say that now him kissing another woman totally turns me on...but really I don't think you can know how you'll feel or even really prepare for it until it happens. Just remember that anytime either one of you feels uncomfortable you can stop. Communication is the key and I really can't stress that enough. Good luck!

[cupl4fun 361]

For both the Mrs. and I we didn't feel much. We were like on sensory overload. When we woke up the next morning though it was like "Holy sh*t, did we actually do that?" But I didn't have any jealousy at all (and I was worried I might) I was a little freaked out by it all though. Had I just done something terrible? Are we going to get a disease? When I walked into work I felt like everyone would know or find out. But funnily enough, fears about our relationship never came up. I'm not sure what it will be like next time though when I'm less in shock.

[daddynbabygrl 25]

So much insight in this thread.....

 

Our "first time" was a MFF experience and I was in a state of "Shock and Awe" but in a very good way. Too good as I had performance anxiety and what made it more frustrating is "Babygirl" was motioning for me to join in on the fun.....willingly wanting me to partake of this other woman.....and I couldn't. So it was fun, enjoyable, but the evening ended up with me extremely embarrassed, frustrated and feeling "alone"......but many talks later (after i picked up my bottom lip and ego off the floor)....and we are closer and more communicative and I just know when she has her playmate over again, I *MIGHT* be able to redeem myself......

 

- Daddy

[willyoats 324]

Male perspective:

 

For me, it was a kind of warm and fuzzy feeling. I already knew that I would not be jealous, since I knew all about the other sexual adventures she had had without me, and hearign about them was a big turn-on for me.

 

I was delighted that she enjoyed it. That meant that we woudl keep on doing it, which was what I was sure I wanted to do.

 

She says that she had very little emotion seeing me screw another woman. She was glad I was having a good time fulfilling a fantasy. However, unlike me, she did not care if she watched me. I always liked to watch her.

[herpob 523]

Wow great insghts for the newbie - people - great job!

 

Both my husband and I had multiple partners before we married many 3somes, many groups. When we began dating we stopped it all. We were monogamous and for quite some time. By the time we were ready to enter back into this lifestyle we had told it all, described it all, acted it all out, and retold it all many times. We knew more about one another's sex than ourselves. We made certain that it there were NO secrets.

 

We also did everything a couple could do without others, we had sex constantly. Then one day we were discussing a group of baseball players I had performed oral on in group, for the first time my husband made the comment seriously, "I sure would like to see that." Well by that point we had developed some good friendships with other couples who were very open about there sexual lifes and we all shared stories openly. I learned a great deal from them.

 

We discussed our conversation with 3 of the guys one night and they said if their wives were good with it they'd love to be involved. Next thing you know I'm on my knees sucking three other men. My man was too busy masturbating the entire time. He said he had so much fun. I said the same and he was thrilled for me.

 

Over the next several months we found more couples eventually ending with eight where as typical the men were more sexually active than the women. The wives didn't want them to go outside the marriage so much (for safety), the guys wanted more sex, the women didn't, and so on... That is how we became an exclusive six couples and eventually eight. Of the eight women I was by far the most active so I became the go to gal it was several years before we even had our first couple swap. Up till now the other women had watched some, a few had female play, some couples had swapped same room and some moved to separate rooms but my husband and I had not.

 

So when the first same room swap took place I was a bit nervous. All this time he hadn't been with another woman and those inhibitions tried to creep in. I simply made up my mind using logic that I was being stupid, after all I had been doing my mind had to be kidding. So I laughed and got over it. When the first lady sucked him I nearly creamed. It was soooo HOT! When they went 69 I quit with my partner to watch from all angles. Then the intercourse, oh WOW! It was so fun to watch him make love to this lady and see what it was like off camera all real and close up. I now became the masturbating voyeur, it was simply fascinating.

 

So keep it real – discuss everything, be open, honest, NO secrets, no hiding, keep yourself in control of you, prepare mentally, and love that your mate will be having a blast! So pretty much keep it unselfish and you will never have a problem. I visualized him doing her all which way before we ever got with them, the real thing was then like seeing the movie LIVE and it was amazing!

 

I love for my husband to watch me with other men, I love to watch him with other women, and it is just as much fun in separate rooms now because the story telling gets HEATED! I like to watch sometimes just to see how a person's body moves and learn from it.

[a_and_a 24]

Hi Jen. Wow the first time. We'll I heard my wife screaming like never before....or at least not that I could remember....while performing oral to her. I was like "WTF how am I going to compete with that. There is no way I can." Afterwards I mentioned that to her, she reminded me that it was different.....not better.

 

So we come to realize and appreciate what we have in each other....bringing us closer together.

[jnjswingcpl 73]

Well, my first time seeing my wife with another man was just the other night, ourfirst swinging experience. We went full swap for our first time with another couple, and it was a pretty mixed emotion for me. I was enjoying what I was getting, but looking over and seeing my wife with another man was hard at first. But, what helped me was I listened to my wife. She was moaning and sounded like she was having a good time, and I realized that it was because of me that she was having this good time. I was letting it happen, and at the end of the night, she was going home with me, so it went from jealousy to enjoyment very quickly. I guess that is the biggest part of it is to remember that at the end of the session, your man will be going home with you.

[babycole 105]

Our first time was a myriad of emotions, but I have to say, none of those feelings included jealousy. It was a very exciting experience, just for the fact that we were finally participating in something that we had been fantasizing about for quite some time. I have to say that in the fantasies, I would get soooo turned on by the thoughts of my husband with another woman, but it wasn't that way for me that first time. I think that my own thoughts got in the way too much for me to really enjoy any of it. My head just wouldn't shut up. It was constantly saying "I can't believe we're doing this. This is weird. etc..." I had to shed all of those "monogamous" thoughts from my head in order to start enjoying the lifestyle. Luckily, those thoughts only entered my head that very first time. Now, when I see a woman that really knows how to get my guy all hot, it's very exciting to me, and I get a great sense of "joy" from seeing him have such a good time, and in turn, once I know that he is in a state of pleasure, I am able to enjoy myself as well.

[willyoats 324]

We had a different experience than most, i.e., separate rooms the very first time. We had talked enough about swinging so that we knew we wanted to do it.

 

Being separated from each other and in the company of very experienced but sensitive partners was the best thing that could have happened. I was not distracted by wanting to watch her, which I knew I certainly woudl want to do if we were in the same room. I could concentrate on my wonderful partner. I actually completely forgot about my wife while I was with this other woman.

 

On our second experience, we were in the same room, but by then we knew each of us had broken the ice. We were relaxed enough to thoroughly enjoy watching each other with another partner.

 

After that, we sometimes had separate rooms, sometimes not. Each has its advantages and drawbacks, but to be that flexible made swinging much more enjoyable for us over the years.

[sweet_tna 680]

Our first experience was great. We knew the other couple well, and while we'd made the decision to try swinging whether we ever hooked up with them or not, I'm glad they were our first. I was never particularly worried about any feelings of jealousy, but I couldn't have told you exactly how I'd feel 'till it happened.

 

And I was very turned on by seeing Mr. Sweet with our friend & her hubby. I lovedf hearing her noises and knowing my honey was getting her off--'cause I know how good what he was doing to her feels. My reaction was to grab a toy and get myself off while I watched them . .

 

So just try to go into things with an open attitude and be aware of your feelings. I hope it's a great experience for ya'll.

 

=)

[Opportunists 17]

JennandJamesinm wrote "...

 

am i the only one that thinks JennaJameson is on the board when reading their posts?

[bill_n_lana 16]

I absolutely LOVED it! We had great sex for weeks and weeks after it because I just couldn't stop cumming when I would think about the mister with another woman.

And it still does the same thing to me!

[jdavisauto 73]

First thing I am deeply and madly in love with my wife. She is the best for me. Our first time out was over 8 years ago. I did not see her with another guy because I was busy getting my dick suck and had my face bury in another lady's pussy. Now I heard her moans and that turned me on more. But seeing her with another person male or female is a huge turn on for me. I have sex with other ladies and she has sex with other men and ladies. But we only make Love to Each other. As long as we keep sex and love in their proper place there will never be any problems.

[jid2008 16]

I got nervous about it as we all laid on our king size (me, wife, other girl, other guy). The other 2 got naked immediately, so I dropped my boxers and coaxed my wife into getting naked. They started moving as though they were about to start fucking, but they read the sign pretty quickly that I was ready to get started...after all, its getting late and I have work early in the morning. The other girl immediately went down and started pleasing my wife orally. The guy then crawled up to my wife. My wife didn't hesitate to take his cock in her mouth and started going to town. I came up on the other side and she spent the next 10 minutes getting eaten and sucking us both off. It was sooooooo hot. I loved it. I think I liked watching her take on multiple cocks more than I liked messing with the other girl.

 

The best part was, the next day I got home at 4:30 pm, went to bed at 10:30 pm, and had gotten oral and/or had sex 3 times! That was the most we had done it in one day, probably ever since we got together 7 years ago. We got with them again on Friday and I woke up to pussy on Saturday and Sunday as well. My wife's sex drive had pretty much dwindled to nothing over the years, but this new exciting time in our life has opened her up again.

 

I don't regret it at all, but will admit that I don't want to live this lifestyle forever. It's fun for now!!

[Brian and Jo 344]

The first time I saw Jo with another man was during our first swinging experience over 30 years ago. We had met a couple for drinks and as we hit it off we invited them back to our place for a swim. Of course we swam in the nude! After a while Bob and Jo got out of the water and went indoors. Doreen and I followed soon after. Bob and Jo had taken the main bedroom and as Doreen and I passed by the open door on our way to the spare room we stopped to look at our spouse. They were lying on the bed kissing while Bob had his hands on Jo's ass and Jo was fondling his cock. It was a very erotic scene but not as erotic or exciting as when later that evening I watched Bob and Jo while they were fucking. She was on her back with Bob on top and I was able to get a clear view of his hard cock sliding in and out of Jo's pussy. She was obviously enjoying herself and the look on her face when she came was a huge turn on for me. All that happened a long time ago and I have never tired of seeing Jo with another man (or woman).

[curious2u 32]

The first time the emotions were wildly racing from the most aroused I have ever been to the most jealous to the most excited to the most guilty for being jealous because this was originally my idea back to am I going to have a heart attack I am so aroused and back and forth. No kidding, seeing her moaning, moving her ass, acting like an animal in lust was such a turn on, then I would flash what if he is bigger, better and she likes it better to I hope he bangs her brains out to how good it is going to feel to get her alone.

 

I won't ever forget it and I get many of the same feelings the second time only less jealousy.