Outstanding things people say in their profile

[SaSsyNsWeEt 41]

I think the couple should secure a trade mark for this:D

 

is it actually from a song on Nickelback's album Dark Horse called S.E.X.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

is it actually from a song on Nickelback's album Dark Horse called S.E.X.

Exposed! I work hard to make people believe I listen only to Mozart and Mendelssohn.

[slevin 1,374]

Exposed! I work hard to make people believe I listen only to Mozart and Mendelssohn.

 

The only thing further away from Mozart than Nickleback is Lady Gaga!

[PB&J 1,086]

The only thing further away from Mozart than Nickleback is Lady Gaga!

 

Oh I don't know- Mozart was known for being pretty outrageous in his day.

[SaSsyNsWeEt 41]

Exposed! I work hard to make people believe I listen only to Mozart and Mendelssohn.

 

So sorry for the exposure! But between you and me, I think its HOT that you can listen to both Mozart and Nickelback! That makes for a very well-rounded individual!

xoxo

[Thrax 384]

I ran across a profile that I thought was a total joke with the worst spelling and writing I've ever seen. Well apparently people they've contacted have pointed out the errors of their way and this was added:

 

"And what does spelling have to do with screwing good anyway!!!"

 

It was the only sentence where all their spelling was correct.

 

Should that be "screwing well" instead of "screwing good?"

 

Any English majors out there?

 

Yeah, I'm a nerd.

 

But you knew that.

 

Thrax

[mikeandjenn2001 77]

Should that be "screwing well" instead of "screwing good?"

 

Any English majors out there?

 

Yeah, I'm a nerd.

 

But you knew that.

 

Thrax

 

I'm not an English major, but I'm with you. I think it should be screwing well.

[Thrax 384]

Speaking of nerds...

 

Swing Lifestyle lists profiles of new locals and a recent profile caught my attention. A newbie 20-something couple recently started a profile. They're not on my "to-do" list, but I think I might just have to meet them to congratulate them on their profile.

 

Some samples: "We are looking to meet other couples who are nerds. If you do not have a favorite dinosaur, don't bother writing to us."

 

"We are nerds. You may have picked up on that already. But nerds need sex too."

 

"Both of us are sarcastic and cynical. Since we are a pair of over educated nerds, we enjoy things like complaining about Descartes, listening to They Might Be Giants, or reading the Thomas Covenant novels by Stephen R. Donaldson."

 

Those selections might be off-putting to some, but the whole profile is written in a very humorous and self-deprecating vein.

 

I'd like to compliment them on their dinosaur-themed profile name, too. Too bad I can't post it here.

 

It's nice to see people on Swing Lifestyle have a sense of humor. I wish 'em the best of luck!

 

Thrax

[TNT 1,155]

Speaking of nerds...

 

or reading the Thomas Covenant novels by Stephen R. Donaldson."

 

 

Oh my goodness...I love the Thomas Covenant novels...never knew that would put me in the nerd category

 

That does sound like a entertaining profile.

 

Teresa

[exploringRM 305]

Oh my goodness...I love the Thomas Covenant novels...never knew that would put me in the nerd category

 

That does sound like a entertaining profile.

 

Teresa

 

And They Might Be Giants..love them..didn't know that made fans nerd material

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

On the profile for a mixed race couple (he white, she hispanic):

 

"WE ONLY STAY IN OUR RACE WHITE/MEXICAN-AMERICAN"

 

So does that mean he only does white girls and she only does mexican guys? Didn't they go outside their own race to end up together? I'm confused.

[Chicup 38]

On the profile for a mixed race couple (he white, she hispanic):

 

"WE ONLY STAY IN OUR RACE WHITE/MEXICAN-AMERICAN"

 

So does that mean he only does white girls and she only does mexican guys? Didn't they go outside their own race to end up together? I'm confused.

 

 

My GUESS is they were saying in a not so clever way 'no blacks'.

[BiloxiCouple 694]

Married but swinging alone as the wife is taking a break right now.

 

[PB&J 1,086]

"Mature married couple checking things out to see how far she might go. Not from the Falls but planning a surprise weekend there for her and hoping that another couple might be staying at the same hotel, meet spontaneously in the bar and spice up our evening. She has never been with another man and lately life has been stressful and I think this is what we need to get rid of some stress."

 

There's a recipe for success.... NOT.

[slevin 1,374]

"Mature married couple checking things out to see how far she might go. Not from the Falls but planning a surprise weekend there for her and hoping that another couple might be staying at the same hotel, meet spontaneously in the bar and spice up our evening. She has never been with another man and lately life has been stressful and I think this is what we need to get rid of some stress."

 

There's a recipe for success.... NOT.

 

Hah! We actually got a message from that couple. I had to re-read their message and profile just to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

[PB&J 1,086]

Yes, we have too, about a year ago... I reported it to the site owner and it was deleted... the husband kept changing location and posting a different ad.... that poor woman. I almost felt like leading him on long enough so that I could get in contact with her and warn her. However, I doubt he's ever been successful. And yet he keeps on trying.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

My GUESS is they were saying in a not so clever way 'no blacks'.

 

Yeah I kinda figured that

[nola40scpl 45]

came across this one today. don't know if one would consider it outstanding but it did stand out!

 

'She is a cute white female with a lot of curves and huge beast.'

 

now i'm scared!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

came across this one today. don't know if one would consider it outstanding but it did stand out!

 

'She is a cute white female with a lot of curves and huge beast.'

I once sent an e-mail to every north-American employee of the company. I was supposed say that we would have pastries and coffee during the meeting. What I typed instead was. "We will have pasties and coffee in the morning."

 

Anyway, how do you know this this is not true. Maybe she does have a huge beast.

[sexcupid 809]

I once sent an e-mail to every north-American employee of the company. I was supposed say that we would have pastries and coffee during the meeting. What I typed instead was. "We will have pasties and coffee in the morning."

 

Anyway, how do you know this this is not true. Maybe she does have a huge beast.

 

Probably b/c pasties are pastries in a sense?

 

on the huge beast...wonder if that was in reference to her hubby or a misspelling of 'huge breast'...hmmmm.

 

This thread has been entertaining for sure. Alot of 'some one really wrote that?!' kind of moments.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

Probably b/c pasties are pastries in a sense?

 

on the huge beast...wonder if that was in reference to her hubby or a misspelling of 'huge breast'...hmmmm.

 

This thread has been entertaining for sure. Alot of 'some one really wrote that?!' kind of moments.

I loved reading this line in the article to which you linked:

 

The pastry they threw away was supposed to appease the knockers

 

OK, I have one for y'all from a new Swinglifestyle profile: Have been living for four years and have not met a lot of good people.

[PB&J 1,086]

If anyone has ever been through the Upper Peninsula in Michigan and NOT stopped at a restaurant to enjoy a pasty- well, I feel sorry for them. Definitely the highlight of our 2000 trip out that way.

 

(going way off topic I know, but I just had to share... damn it was good)

[xxxboxy 139]

yoopers are odd folk...

[PB&J 1,086]

yoopers are odd folk...

 

But they make a DAMN fine pasty!!

[PB&J 1,086]

Ok, this has to be the STRANGEST profile posting I have seen:

 

..Hi my old friends all that was here was kind words for you and to wish you well on your day coming up nothing more, now i have deleted it, was just trying to be nice, your too quick to think of what may have been here, ..it was not worth the effort , but now that you sent me messages i feel like a an old fool ,I have not hooked up with anyone on my own , for some reason i still felt the need to be loyal to my friend, I guess my friend still had my heart , I guess i,m just old fashion, ..... I had so much to tell my friend about the last few months ...... Wow the first 3 men that come along you spread your legs , your poor husband.... Take Care of yourself.......

 

Well there's a story there....

[two4youinswva 3,067]

Well there's a story there....

 

Drama Will Robinson! Drama!

 

 

As to the actual wording: Looks like they wrote it in another language, and then used google translate to bring it to English.

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

Not sure this is the right place for this. But recently ran across an odd profile. They list themselves as Tame, looking primarily for Couples.

 

It is made clear she does not play with other men, for her it sounds voyeuristic based everything that is said, not even soft swap. But they go into more detail for him, things like him being a good lay, size and liking to swap positions etc. Making it sound as if he DOES play.

 

What I find so strange is they are primarily looking for couples. Does this sound remotely interesting to couples out there? It almost sounds if they struck out looking for a female for him to play with so they are taking this route in hopes of getting a couple were she will play and both spouses just watch.

 

I guess for each his own.

[ClosetSwinger 112]

Married but swinging alone as the wife is taking a break right now.

 

 

 

 

yeh that line always makes me laugh! I usually always think "i was born at night dude...but not LAST NIGHT":rolleyes:

[ClosetSwinger 112]

Reading through some of these is really cracking me up. I will go and look for the ones I have seen and post a couple here so you guys can all laugh with me!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

Something I read in a Swinglifestyle profile this morning:

 

I swap alone.

 

Now what do you suppose this might mean?

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

Something I read in a Swinglifestyle profile this morning:

 

I swap alone.

 

Now what do you suppose this might mean?

 

You get to play with their imaginary spouse while s/he plays with yours? Or maybe they have multiple personalities and are bi so both you and your spouse have "separate" playmates.

[Cajun2Step 65]

Check out this tag line from SLS:

 

Life is a trip, sex is the fuel. 69 is a favorite highway we travel and a good speed, not our age.

[Cajun2Step 65]

Here is another teaser line we liked:

 

Born Free, More Expensive Now!

 

Caught our attention and was well worth the visit to the profile and the personal visit that followed a brief exchange.

[SAVANDWIN 266]

From our own profile...................

"We're not your OB/GYN or Family Physician and not impressed with an 8 x 10 glossy of your genitalia. If you believe the most flattering photo you can show is a close up of your privates we completely trust your judgment and we will assume the rest of your body is unacceptable for public viewing; after all YOU know yourself best."

Mrs Sav

[The Fuse 1,012]

From our own profile...................

"We're not your OB/GYN or Family Physician and not impressed with an 8 x 10 glossy of your genitalia. If you believe the most flattering photo you can show is a close up of your privates we completely trust your judgment and we will assume the rest of your body is unacceptable for public viewing; after all YOU know yourself best."

Mrs Sav

 

Love love love it!!

[Chicup 38]

"We are relativity new to this and have had a few limited experiences in the lifestyle."

 

Lifetime members

Join date 2006

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

"We are relativity new to this and have had a few limited experiences in the lifestyle."

 

Lifetime members

Join date 2006

 

I have seen many profiles that send a similary contradactory message. Would the profile name be, perhaps, something like "SlowStarters":D

[SAVANDWIN 266]

All trespassers will be stripped naked and repeatedly violated .

[Rivertour 51]

From the wife;

 

He is not as good as he once was, but he's as good once as he ever was. Three or four times would be really great though, so if you can, he can sit back and watch.

[The Fuse 1,012]

From the wife;

 

He is not as good as he once was, but he's as good once as he ever was. Three or four times would be really great though, so if you can, he can sit back and watch.

 

Wow. Just -- wow. Ugh! Too awful and too funny! I hope they and their friends have a sense of humour.

[SaSsyNsWeEt 41]

From our own profile...................

"We're not your OB/GYN or Family Physician and not impressed with an 8 x 10 glossy of your genitalia. If you believe the most flattering photo you can show is a close up of your privates we completely trust your judgment and we will assume the rest of your body is unacceptable for public viewing; after all YOU know yourself best."

Mrs Sav

That is outstanding! I hope you don't mind but we are putting something similar on our profile!

 

 

This is copied directly from a profile, I have not changed it in any way....

 

"When it comes to physical health, I exercise about 3 times per week (or never), and expect my sex partners to be at about the same fitness level.

I (like) the bar scene. I prefer (lots of partying when I'm involved in sexual encounters.

I like my partners to (tell me what to do/follow my lead) in the bedroom.

I love sex, but I'm more interested in short-term relationships/long-term relationships."

[SaSsyNsWeEt 41]

We have teaser lines on our profile that I change up regularly but right now it says

"Roses are red, pickles are green. I love your legs and whats in between."

[Guest ENCRYPTEDTX]

We have teaser lines on our profile that I change up regularly but right now it says

"Roses are red, pickles are green. I love your legs and whats in between."

 

That is too funny! Thanks, if I werent so close to you, Id steal it!

 

 

Kyle

[SAVANDWIN 266]

Sassy, thanks for the compliment , I'm flattered .

 

Love the Roses are Red, Pickles are green line lol!!!

[GPHTallCouple 69]

Today I saw on a profile a "NOTICE!! We are only looking for a female for her to play with alone. We are no longer looking to play with other couples because it's always just going to separate rooms ..... So now they are just looking for a single female for her to play with alone. "

 

Something along those lines...

 

I had to read it three times and I want to ask these two. WTF? How many times of separate room play did you do before you decided you didn't like it. Did you ever think of staying in the same room or is your trailer too small to hold four people at one time? Didn't you even consider same room play? How does her playing with another female alone work for him? Shouldn't you just delete the couples profile and desires and just put up a single profile.

[Guest rdy46227]

Today I saw on a profile a "NOTICE!! We are only looking for a female for her to play with alone. We are no longer looking to play with other couples because it's always just going to separate rooms ..... So now they are just looking for a single female for her to play with alone. "

 

"We've traditionally avoided group sex, so she hasn't gotten the FF contact she wants".

[SaSsyNsWeEt 41]

That is too funny! Thanks, if I werent so close to you, Id steal it!

 

 

Kyle

 

You're welcome to "steal it" if you'd like! I change it up often so no worries here!

 

Kisses

[SaSsyNsWeEt 41]

Came across this one today. They seem to be new to the lifestyle and I think they may need a little help on their introduction, it reads: "i wanna fuck more ppl and she does too lol...she been with lots ive been with only 3 ppl..."

[exploringRM 305]

Came across this one today. They seem to be new to the lifestyle and I think they may need a little help on their introduction, it reads: "i wanna fuck more ppl and she does too lol...she been with lots ive been with only 3 ppl..."

 

Honesty points?

[MN Tom 251]

From the wife;

 

He is not as good as he once was, but he's as good once as he ever was. Three or four times would be really great though, so if you can, he can sit back and watch.

 

 

This sounds like something from a toby keith song.