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catherine1962

Getting pregnant

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It is why I'm here first BEFORE I reengage so to speak. There were too many people who got hurt in the scenario I told. No one saw the kid at the party except the 20 year old. I wasn't even at the party. When I met the woman at another gathering, she said she was pregnant. At that time, the boy's mother was the only one who knew he was there. She was the one who told me that. That particular party she threw while her husband was out of town on business. That was the OTHER big reason I stopped swinging. This lady liked to have other playmates without her husband's approval, and it was not ok for him to do the same. I'm big on rules and not breaking them.

 

As for the soldier...my husband is active duty...the military takes adultery (and that's the way they will see it) VERY seriously, not to mention the underage thing.

 

And we have gotten so far off the original topic. I'm gonna stop now.

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(Both the girlfriend and the cousin are underage)

 

Swinging gone bad? Something is messed up here.

 

That's not Swinging: It's child molesting!

Just the statement "Swinging gone bad" in conjunction with having sex with kids is enough to stand my hair up and flare my temper!

As for the 20 year old and sex with the 14 year old: Same thing. That's not Swinging it's child molesting in conjunction with a cheating wife! Cheaters aren't swingers either!

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Hello everyone. This is an update.

 

Well I am 3 months pregnant. We have talked it over with the other couple and they are of course upset. It seems child support is the issue and nothing else. The wife doesn't believe her husband is the father and thinks that we are doing this to extort money from them. My husband had his sperm count checked and it is at zero...we told this couple that when the baby is born we will be happy to get a DNA test to prove it...this made the wife even madder...I don't know what to do.

 

THIS IS IMPORTANT. WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER COUPLE MAKE SURE YOU USE TWO DIFFERENT TYPES OF BIRTH CONTROL. I USED ONLY A CONDOM AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED. We are in a legal mess now. This has killed our sex life. There is little closeness between us since I am carrying another man's child.

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Are you expecting child support from this other couple, should the male turn out to be the biological father? That seems a bit extreme to me, you and your husband made this choice together and how you choose to handle it is up to you (as far as whether or not you have the baby). I have a hard time with the idea that you would expect them to support the child rather than just treating it as if it were your own (with your husband) and raising it as such. Think how you would feel if the tables were turned.

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Of course I would expect child support....he is the father....not my husband. In this state (South Dakota) the father of a child is supposed to give 20% of their income to the mother for child support. My husband isn't the father/why should he have to pay?

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catherine1962 said:
Of course I would expect child support....he is the father....not my husband. In this state (South Dakota) the father of a child is supposed to give 20% of their income to the mother for child support. My husband isn't the father/why should he have to pay?

 

This opens a whole lot of questions for the swinging community as a whole. This I suppose is a risk everyone takes when swinging along with getting an STD's.

 

I have to agree with Julie on this one. You and your husband decided to keep this baby to raise as your own (do you have other children?) even though you knew it was from a swinging situation. I'm not sure why after making that decision you two would be having problems, if he or you don't want another man's child to raise why are you keeping it? Now your asking this man for child support when he had no say in the decision to keep the baby. :nono: Since you want him to pay for child support and he's the father then why didn't you make the decision to keep the baby with him instead of your husband? :confused:

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If she was single and fell pregnant with him it would still have been her choice to keep the baby. But in that scenario it is commonly accepted for the father to pay child support.

 

Yes, she has a husband, but (and this is sad to consider) if they get divorced he will have legal footing to deny her child support by proving that he is not the father. It will be much more difficult to go through the court and force the biological father to pay child support then.

 

That said, it's not a nice scenario to be put in. I'd not be inpressed if you asked me for child support...

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Disappointment is all I feel. After being raised by my Dad and not my father, I can only say that money has entered the picture and killed all love, respect, and common sense. It appears that everyone is more worried about the lawyers and legal system than that little child coming into this world. How sad that the priorities have been so badly ordered in importance now.

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I have to agree with everyone else above.

 

I really do feel for you and your husband. This would be a terrible experience to go through! But, the two of you made the decision to keep the kid - the other husband wasn't given much of a choice in the matter.

 

Dr Jekyll makes a good point: if you are having marital problems, then the child may need support. I understand your fear. But if you and your husband "tough it out" and stay together, then why involve the other man at all? Will your husband not provide any support? Will none of his paycheck go towards bills, groceries, etc.?

 

If so, then why do you need that extra 20%? Why would you insist on involving this other man - potentially ruining his marriage? Has he asked for visitation? Does he get the kid for six weeks in the summer and every other Christmas? And how - in the long run - are you going to explain this situation to this child?

 

If you are going to keep the child, kudos to you! But give the kid a stable home - not one that is filled with tension, legal battles and the eternal question of "who's your daddy?" I applaud you for accepting the responsibility of what you did, but not if your "bravery" destroys a lot of other people in the process.

 

To be honest, at three months along, I'd have to encourage you to reconsider your decision to keep the kid. Is it worth the damage you are doing to your marriage? Is it worth the damage that you are doing to the other marriage? Is it worth the damage that you are going to do to this kid?

 

I have a personal problem with abortion (not a moral one, but a very emotional one) but I think this is one of those cases where maybe keeping the kid is the wrong choice.

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if i were ever in your shoes, i would never have told who i thought to be the biological father... hubby and I would raise the baby as our own and never breathe a word to anyone. It just opens up too many cans of worms to do this, IMHO. What happens 5, 10 years down the road when the biological father wants visitation, and your other kids see this one leaving without them? just think of everyone around you, you'll have to come out of the closet, so to speak, about your activites. I don't advocate abortion, but if this is going to strain your marriage, perhaps there are other alternatives for you to consider. Have you thought of adoption? I sincerely wish the best for you and your family, and my thoughts are with you.

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Did anyone stop to think that maybe no one is at fault, since ALL CONDOMS, I don't care what the brand is, fail at the most inopportune moments.

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snoopy56 said:
Did anyone stop to think that maybe no one is at fault, since ALL CONDOMS, I don't care what the brand is, fail at the most inopportune moments.

 

I'm not sure that anyone is blaming anyone, really. The question now is how should this couple handle it?

 

This really is the "nightmare" scenario that all in the swinging world are either scared to death of or thanking their lucky stars that they are beyond the reach of that damned stork.

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I agree with Spoomonkey. Why do you want to put everyone, including this innocent child through all this? Isn't what's happened bad enough?

 

I know what I would do: raise the child as my own.

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Sorry all - I just did some research that I should have done a long time ago.... it appears that Catherine1962 is a troll - Neil1 incarnate - as seen in this thread. The IP addresses are identical, and like Neil1, Catherine1962 has now been banned as a troll.

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JustAskJulie said:
it appears that Catherine1962 is a troll

 

I suspected as much - but under the circumstances, it seemed cruel to say anything...

 

It seems this fellow has a bit of a "kink" for swingers getting preggo...

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Maybe it was destined to be mentioned. i certainly know that spoof or not, it made me recheck my methods of Birth Control, to make sure they were as safe as possible.

 

Everything happenes for a resons, and it also seems as though a lot of regulars here, spent time thinking of it, and frankly, it isn't something that Mr. Indya nd I have spent a lot of time talking about. It was atleast good for us.

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That's okay - it got me thinking about it to start another thread. And while this thread was a bit of a wtf are you doing - hopefully the other has couples thinking ahead a little about what they would do in this situation. We all keep STD precautions in front of us and sometimes I think this could be a worse scenario and yet do we really consider it as much?

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Guest smileytattoo
Catherine,

 

My husband had a girlfriend who was a prostitute way before he met me, she was a working girl who claimed she didn't want to have babies, go figure in the type of business she is in. She wasn't even married to my husband and because he loved her he would worship the ground she walked on. He is like that with me. She was with him for two years prior to his 20th birthday. Right after his birthday she asked him to play a game with her when they were at her clinic.

 

It was a gambling game, she wanted to see if the woman down the hall could get him in her office and run a sperm count on him, then to perform a vasectomy on him. She wanted to see if this woman was faster then her Doctor on turning patients out. He went down the hall and entered her office. He said I'm here because my girlfriend is down the hall getting checked out. I want to know if you have time to do a sperm count on me and to do a Vasectomy right after that. She said why yes I can and it will all be done in under one hour. She had him sign all the insurance and consent forms.

 

She did a Vasectomy on him that most Doctors don't do. She removed a huge section of both of his Vas Deferens and cauterized the proximal and distal ends of the Vas Deferens remaining. She was done and said she removed 4" inches from the right and the same from the left Vas Deferens.

 

He has no Vas Deferens what so ever in his scrotum. She tried to make it totally irreversible, hoping she removed so much that they couldn't do anything about it. She tried hard to throw up a block to another Doctor who might try to reverse it. She told him after performing the vasectomy, your sperm count was huge and you could have got a lot of girls pregnant. Looks like I took care of that the right way sweetie. I was mad, the Doctor never even asked him if he had any babies. it never came up once. He never did have one.

 

When he left her office, he found her waiting for him, she was finished before the Doctor even started the Vasectomy.

 

She got pregnant and claimed the baby girl is his, she even yelled it at him in Court when he was fighting for some of his property. The baby is yours.

 

Get a DNA test, that is what he should have done. He said no.

He said can you imagine the damage all the stupid adults will do to her dragging her back and forth. He said she said she is mine, then she is mine.

Even though she was born 2 years after that huge Vasectomy. He was shooting blanks one week after that operation. She had him give her 3 semen samples prior to giving that operation to him to clean the sperm out of his ejaculatory system. So he would be shooting blanks faster afterwards.

 

I want to have a baby and we are looking into swinging big time, I actually want approxmately 4 babies. All through swinging.

 

My man is very wonderful in that way, he said shoot for it. After all look at his history with the prostitute. He doesn't get jealous which really turns me on. He loves me enough that it won't bother him to see me pregnant by another man or couple.

 

Good luck Catherine with what ever you do.

Talk to him, you did enter this with openess. He did agree, right?

 

Sincerely

 

Pam

OMG!!!!! You make it seem like you are only in it to get pregnant by some poor unsuspecting male. I'm curious, do you atleast tell the guys that you want four kids and your hubby cant do it for ya? :nono:

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