Rules for single males

[unaware 15]

That sounds very unsettling. I don't know how people can act like that and expect to be treated with decency and respect.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

That sounds very unsettling. I don't know how people can act like that and expect to be treated with decency and respect.

 

To what are you referring?

[Peake 15]

Your advice to the single male is good, he is the outsider and should remember his place. Treat the couple with respect and all should go well. Honesty is always good, if your meeting does not go well, bee up front and tell the couple, best to end it with good feelings rather than take it to a point then back out and cause problems.

[Spoomonkey 418]

the single male... should remember his place.

 

The kind of couples that singles want to meet (in my opinion) are those who don't think singles should "remember their place". Singles are no different than couples, really. The only real difference is they are alone - aside from that, the same rules apply for them as they do for couples: comfort, attraction, chemistry, honesty, etc.

 

If they are rude, arrogant jerks, their "place" is going to be on the outside looking in... Same as couples who act this way...

 

If they are respectful, interesting, down to earth types, their "place" is going be a lot of fun to be in... Same as couples...

 

The problem is, there seems to be, percentage-wise, less single guys who "get it" than there are couples.

 

Spoomonkey

[curious24 16]

The kind of couples that singles want to meet (in my opinion) are those who don't think singles should "remember their place". Singles are no different than couples, really. The only real difference is they are alone - aside from that, the same rules apply for them as they do for couples: comfort, attraction, chemistry, honesty, etc.

 

If they are rude, arrogant jerks, their "place" is going to be on the outside looking in... Same as couples who act this way...

 

If they are respectful, interesting, down to earth types, their "place" is going be a lot of fun to be in... Same as couples...

 

The problem is, there seems to be, percentage-wise, less single guys who "get it" than there are couples.

 

Spoomonkey

So are these rules different for single ladies?

[Spoomonkey 418]

so are these rules different for single ladies?

 

Nope - but that's a different thread altogether...

 

Spoomonkey

[EternallySingle 32]

Singles are at a real disadvantage in the swinging community, because the majority of swingers ARE couples. Couples think differently than singles. All singles, whether they admit it or not, approach other singles with "This may be the one" in the back of his or her mind and adjust their approach based on a lot of information they receive to appear more appealing than other singles. With couples, a single person KNOWS they have no chance at anything more than sex. Depending on the experience of the single person, they will again adjust their approach to be more appealing to the couple, but usually they have to compete not only with other singles of the same sex, but singles of the opposite sex, couples, and even groups for the limited time the couple will have for an encounter that won't go any further than sex and MAYBE a really casual friendship.

 

That is a lot of pressure for someone just starting out, and that is where a lot of the conflict begins. Men deal with the pressure of possible rejection by being a little more persistent and a little less honest than usual. Women, I've observed, deal with possible rejection by being more distant and less committal. Both are techniques meant to make you appear available and interesting. But when dealing with couples, the average male techniques makes him seem pushy. For women, it makes her seem uninterested and just there to be somewhere other than at home. Couples forget this because they are no longer looking for a mate, just someone to hang out with. In swinging, hanging out sometimes includes sex. The pushy or uninterested appearance singles present when communicating with couples is misunderstood, so the singles have a harder time connecting with couples.

 

Of course, after the first good encounter, the single is often recommended to other couples (and maybe, eventually, but not usually, to other singles) and the pressure of rejection is gone. The single person now has the reputation of "One of the real ones" and approaching others becomes more trying to meet new people and less trying to impress new people.

 

But those are just my observations from the last 20 or so years.

[beardedone 50]

I was a single male in the lifestyle some years ago. My rules were to be friendly, polite, and show interest when I was. But don't be overbearing about it. Then and now, I love to fast dance and lots of women seem to enjoy dancing that way; makes a great ice breaker. If we went any farther, all of us let it be known that discretion is expected and given -- no problem and no stress about it.

 

Summary: I always had a great time after I got over the initial shyness the very first night. This went on for several years.

 

Caveats: Once, the lady of a couple expected me to be with them all the time after that and that was not how I wanted to interact with everyone. She was hurt/angry for a few minutes but it would not have good for me to "just go along" this time.

Another party near the last one, I saw a single female dancing extremely provocatively and I wanted to dance with her and really wanted her in the worst way. However, I had already committed to a 'steady" girl, so all I could do was dance. That dance made me want here even more . (The things we give up when we couple up!!!) Such sweet sorrow.

 

Bearded One

[SIDESHOW 15]

hmmm good advice for a noob in there. Most of it seems to be common sense, but that's the funny thing with common sense these days- it's really not that common.

 

I would love to find one of these clubs or parties in the Vancouver area if anyone has any tips or leads, how can I take the advice w/o a club. lol

[hartfordlover 15]

Well!

That's why a newbie, like myself can't seem to get into the scene! I'm a single male, and my perception is that this is a closed society. I didn't know that couples had so much trouble getting a single male to participate in consensual adult fun. I know it is definitely difficult for a single male to find a woman to get into the swinging lifestyle! I'm new, interested, and, eager, but I can't seem to find anyone to introduce me.

 

Now I see why!

 

I'm humble and want to go in as a student. I want to learn the proper etiquette, then become a practicing, desired partner. Take me, mold me, teach me...I'm yours!

[JnCC 24]

I'm a single male, and my perception is that this is a closed society.

Not really, but as a single male, you're NOT going to find many couples who will go out of their way to welcome you into it. Unless you are bi, or have a specific desire to have sex with another man's wife in his presence, you might find that this is more trouble than it's worth.

 

I know it is definitely difficult for a single male to find a woman to get into the swinging lifestyle!

If all you're looking for is a swing partner, you're probably right. Most women won't do this unless they're in some sort of relationship with the man they're doing it with. If they're NOT going to be in a relationship with him, what do they need him for? Certainly not for sex...they can get plenty of that in the lifestyle. YOU'RE the guy that's going to be on the outside in that situation...

I'm humble and want to go in as a student. I want to learn the proper etiquette, then become a practicing, desired partner. Take me, mold me, teach me...I'm yours!

You sound a little needy, maybe even desperate. If you REALLY want to learn what this is about and what a couple might be looking for in a single man, you should probably start with a woman of your own. After you've been in a committed relationship with her for a while, ask her to find another man to join you in bed. Once you've learned to deal with your own fears and insecurities about single males, you'll have some idea what it takes to BE one.

[1funmedic 15]

I as single male completely agree. I only have one thing maybe to ad that I haven't seen posted, and that is you are not only going to be in an intimate setting with the wife but the husband as well. So if you can't talk to the couple as a couple with your clothes on, you probably won't be allowed to be around when the clothes come off. Bottom line is this boils down to respect for everyone and everyone's feelings.

[Oui69 15]

The biggest turn-off for my wife and I is for single guy, dressed like he just got off a tractor, stroking his cock and following us around the club - thinking he's even got a chance of getting in on the action! We've left several clubs early because of that and even told the manager of one we've known for several years that we'll only go back on nights when there are no single guys.

 

Like many others have posted: that's my wife, treating her like a piece of meat and thinking she'll jump on you - get real and show some respect.

 

You might try telling some couples that it would be a big turn on if you could just quietly watch them have sex in a semi-lit room, ask if they want you to talk while they do it okay, etc. - feed their fantasies instead of yours - it's better than chasing them off and you might get further.

[Amanda69 24]

Some other advice for single men at clubs:

 

1) Insist that you are the one for me. Then even after being told "I don't think so." Continue to insist you are the one for me.

 

2) Think that just because I agreed to dance with you that means we are going to "fuck" tonight.

 

3) Think that just because I talk to you that means that we are going to "fuck" tonight.

 

4) Tell me that you are here without your girlfriend/partner/wife tonight because she does not agree/like the lifestyle but you came anyway, don't think that will mean I would be interested in playing with you.

 

5) While we are dancing I really do enjoy when you ASK if you can touch, that is a good thing...however I don't enjoy when you then grab my breasts as though they were pieces of dough and start kneading them at high speed...What is that about? Not a turn on believe me.

 

6) Wander around the club with your shirt undone, belly hanging out, beer in hand deliberately bumping into women to cop a feel. yuck.

 

7) Try talking to me in a normal manner, just like you would at any other place you might meet me. Compliments are fine but try not to make them sound like you have never seen breasts, kissing, dancing etc before, even if you haven't. In other words play it cool.

 

8) When a couple are having a intimate moment on the dance floor or elsewhere in the "Club" DO NOT stand within 6" of them drooling all over the floor waiting to be invited into the moment.

 

9) Don't try to act all innocent when the husband is around then try to coax the lady into a situation when he is gone for a bathroom/smoke break. They are there as a couple and decide things as a couple.

 

10) Be yourself, no need trying to one up yourself against the other guys.

 

11) Take the time to listen and read the couples body language before you proceed. Just because we are in the environment does not mean we are looking for "you" in particular.

 

12) And then there is something you should never say to a woman at a party or club (and yes this did actually happen to me at a club)

 

To clarify he had already started off on the wrong foot by telling me that he is married and his wife had not interest in and no knowledge of him being there. He then ask "What is your profession?" before I could answer he said "I mean do you work these parties? You know are you a professional?"

[Dooode 18]

To clarify he had already started off on the wrong foot by telling me that he is married and his wife had not interest in and no knowledge of him being there. He then ask "What is your profession?" before I could answer he said "I mean do you work these parties? You know are you a professional?"

[SCcpl40 74]

Sometimes single men think with one head when they should be thinking with two. That may be where the saying "two heads are better than one" came from. For MFM, it's all about the woman. The seduction of being the center of attention is overwhelming. Keep focused on the objective, which is the woman, don't let the "hard" head cloud your vision which could be either one. The moment it's not about her, you're going down in flames.

[Hot Raleigh Cpl 164]

We agree with most of what's been posted so far. One additional think L is adamant about is that the single guy be respectful of me.

 

Most guys are. But the guys aren't going to get lucky with L if tell her they'll give L what her husband can't, or suggest she sneak off with them behind my back, or the clowns who say stuff like your husband's a cuckold sitting alone while you're out getting some (no kidding, several have said this kinda stuff).

 

While I have no problem with guys approaching L for fun, it wins them extra points if they approach us both about playing with her. Or if they approach her, but acknowledge me. (stuff like your husband's a lucky man; is he OK with you playing?). Or the guys who begin their approach with me. ("Hi, how are you. Your wife is sexy, is it OK if I ask her to play?")

 

So, single guys: some ladies want you to acknowledge and be respectful of their husband. Hey, it goes along with the basic theme here: good manners.

[BiloxiCouple 694]

Rules for Married guys would work well for some of them too...

 

I bet it's interchangeable with this post.

[yogee 15]

To single males AND females seeking couples

 

#1 NO means NO

#2 No sometimes means not right now. Don't keep going back and asking, though, when they are ready they will contact you. Sometimes you are tested to see if you maintain your manners and pride in the face of rejection.

 

You are a great Real-LIfe Teacher

[yogee 15]

Unless you are bi, or have a specific desire to have sex with another man's wife in his presence, you might find that this is more trouble than it's worth.

 

[yogee 15]

The kind of couples that singles want to meet (in my opinion) are those who don't think singles should "remember their place". Singles are no different than couples, really. The only real difference is they are alone - aside from that, the same rules apply for them as they do for couples: comfort, attraction, chemistry, honesty, etc.

 

If they are rude, arrogant jerks, their "place" is going to be on the outside looking in... Same as couples who act this way...

 

If they are respectful, interesting, down to earth types, their "place" is going be a lot of fun to be in... Same as couples...

 

The problem is, there seems to be, percentage-wise, less single guys who "get it" than there are couples.

 

Spoomonkey

 

Well, One more insight into the human behavior and life in general . Nice Spoomonkey...

 

I think I will have to make a list of fans for Human-Relations advisers and guess from where the whole list will come....

 

from swingersboard forums of course

[jdavisauto 73]

Honesty, respectful to us as a couple, include the male half in the conversations and respect my wife as a person not as a piece of ass. I hate it when a single male comes up and talks to my wife and don't include me. That is a huge deal breaker. She will not play unless I give the OK. Same with me, I will not play without her OK. There is two people in a couple and a single male has to work twice has hard for approval. Now we don't want to discourage single males, my wife loves single males. Just a little knowledge will go a long ways.

 

I been thinking about writing a book, "The single male guide to Swinging". I think that it would be a best seller.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Today in my email I received this wisdom and was asked to pass it on to the masses. This advise comes from a couple that has a couple of decades as Swingers along with working in Swing clubs, owning a swing club at one time and throwing parties for 1000's over the years.

 

This is a couple that LOVES TO PLAY WITH SINGLE MEN so they know what they are talking about.

 

Hopefully it will help many of you enjoy your time in the Lifestyle and in Life in general.

 

Now, on the important part, the part you need to know and learn.

 

Attention: Following is advice to single guys that will apply to pretty much every couple you might potentially have contact with. It's mostly written for newbies because we've found you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

 

Simply because someone is a member of this site or involved in the lifestyle doesn't mean they're willing to bone you anonymously, at the drop of a hat. You will be shot down many more times than not but we wanted to offer a few tips to help you increase your chances of playing hide the salami.

 

#1. On initial contact write at least a paragraph in your e-mail detailing yourself and your interests as well as what prompted you to make contact in the first place. "Hello's" and "Wanna plays?" are pretty much headed to the shitcan faster than you can prematurely ejaculate.

 

#2. One cock pic is generally adequate to showcase your goods, redundancy breeds boredom and penises don't have high cheek bones or eye color or any other attributes the females might find every bit as attractive as your engorged snot nazi.

 

So you've shipped off a well written e-mail and have received some positive response... Good for you! Now comes the difficult part, living up to the image you portrayed in those e-mails... In virtual reality you may be slaying them but in real reality an entirely different perspective takes place, it's for real!!! Which takes us to.......

 

#3. Be real. Unless you're a con-man of congressional level, lifestyle people will see through you like saran wrap on a glass bowl. It would be of the utmost importance at this time to have already developed this thing called....

 

#4. Game. Don't hate the player, hate that motherfucking game. While you are busy hemming and hawing about stamp collecting and dungeons and dragons, during a lull in the conversation another fellow has walked up and proceeded to engage the object of your affection and her partner in some basic small talk, laughed at a few jokes and then tastefully flattered the female into getting moisture downstairs adequate to filling an Olympic size swimming pool. While you sit there wondering what just happened the learned fellow is already flailing away at the creamy va-jayjay that you were so pathetically trying to get into....

 

#5. Conversation skills. Develop them. Not only will they expedite delivery of the baloney pole in lifestyle situations, they will also help you with every aspect of daily life and make you a friendly, happy person that everyone wants to associate with (not just horny maniacs) Enthusiastically say "Hello"... If you're genuinely happy to meet someone, you might want to add, "So happy to meet you" If you're incapable of smiling, then reflect outwardly that you are happy (and well balanced) with your attitude.

 

Find a common denominator as a basis for conversation and build upon it (Just not indefinitely... Talking about puppies for example, can get old fast, no matter how simply adorable everyone might think they are)

 

Let the conversation move along so a multitude of topics are discussed. Engage everyone (husband, wife, interested onlookers) and let them respond, it should be a conversation and not a dialog. Try to gauge the mood of the people you're talking to so you know when it will be appropriate to say something like, "Wow this is fascinating, howza about we go somewhere so I can hose you down with my tube snake?" or something equally appropriate... No, the true player would never lower himself to that level of vulgarity in spite of the amusing responses he might receive... He would however, be gracious to the husband, flattering to the wife and work himself towards what everyone involved is wanting in the first place.

 

Generally speaking you will have to make the first move and it will have to be done through spoken communication definitely NOT physical. On some occasions when one has adequately primed her pump (so to speak) She might be reaching for the goods before you can get out of public view, leaving the situation wide open (so to speak) That would be the best case scenario for you. There is one thing however that can put a stop to the whole thing, leaving you high and dry with a blistering case of blue balls and that is.....

 

#6. The husband... Although you might be incredibly smooth talking and have her bullshitted to the point of performing blumpkins, the husband is generally the last word on the subject. If he is not included in the conversation, you probably won't be included in anything involving them (Because swinging is a "Them" thing) ALWAYS keep the husband included in the conversation, always be respectful, ask, "May I dance with your wife?" Ask him about rules (cause you might not get all of them from just her) Be aware of his comfort, security or insecurity level. He is the ultimate deal maker or breaker so respect him, they are opening up the most intimate part of their relationship and you are a candidate, be honored not a douchebag.

 

#7. Know when to hang it up. You've been charming, thoughtful and a gentleman straight across the board but there are no motors revving... When a meeting has played out, regardless of the results be aware of it. There's nothing more tedious then silently sitting at a table with someone who has no interest. Alternately, you've been charming, thoughtful and respectful and they're ready to play, you get a bad vibe, go with your gut and hang it up. Develop enough self esteem to be able to walk away from a scene, no matter how much your dick wants to stay and party.

 

There you have it folks.... I just checked my e-mail and read a note in it's entirety that said. "Big cock for you." How debonair....

[DigginIt 1,132]

Absolutely love this. I have often sat around with my wife and looked at some of the things men put on their profiles. I personally wouldn't write or say half of the things these guys put in their profiles. The ones that write the best profiles seem to be married guys cheating on their wives that we won't play with.

 

Honestly though, I'd rather they NOT read this because I don't want a disrespectful jackass to camouflage themselves better to increase their odds of getting into our bed.

[sweet_tna 680]

We couldn't have put it better ourselves.

 

=)

[gringotrailer 15]

being 'new' and single - I thank you. Will practice my writing skills and look forward to getting the job.

[TwoAreLooking 58]

You are a smart man, Vegas Lee.

 

You, too, Spoo.

 

M

[rathor 15]

Today in my email I received this wisdom and was asked to pass it on to the masses. This advise comes from a couple that has a couple of decades as Swingers along with working in Swing clubs, owning a swing club at one time and throwing parties for 1000's over the years.

 

.. ....

 

 

Great Vegas Lee, many thanks for India for this

[Mr.Essex 264]

Good advice, but I have to say that I'd never knowingly swing with anyone who referred to a penis as a snot Nazi.

[dave110256 21]

I think that's fantastic advice. The only thing I'd add is never communicate with the wife without the husband's knowledge and approval. We're not looking for someone looking to try to cheat with the wife on the side.

[omoplata 15]

I must say, I really laughed at the idea of providing references. It is a good idea, but when you seriously think about it. Hahaha... sorry just wanted to share

[MN Tom 251]

lol at the guy asking if you were working at the party. oh my that is just horrible.

 

Actually happened in a way to a friend of mine at a bar meet. Some other gal came up to her and asked how much that older couple was paying her to be with them. And she was serious!?!!

 

Really pissed my friend off, she was hanging with this older couple because they are friends, they weren't even touching each other. And then being accused of being a hooker, that was just not cool.

 

Needless to say the offender had her name spread about quite quickly after that, several others overheard her asking it (it was one of those rare moments when the loud music went quieter).

 

 

As far as single males, just being respectful is a huge plus. We quickly deleted mails from several who fail to understand that. Opening up your mail with "letz fuk tonite honey" is a surefire way to find the delete bin. Same goes for the morons who don't have any pics or have nothing but cock close ups.

 

In person we have had very little contact with single males, actually too little for my wife's tastes. They aren't being excluded from parties around here (they are screened a bit though, the totally unknown bozos with no pics aren't allowed to sign up unless they put up a semi acceptable profile at least) , parties definitely aren't swarming with them. Maybe they are too chicken to come up and chat, who knows. My wife scours the party for them every time, and if someone is appealing, she makes a beeline to them.

[northjersey 15]

Great stuff indeed. The wife and I are very interested in meeting a single male for some fun, but have not had much luck. Hoping our luck may change a bit on this site.

 

Single males; couple like us are out there, looking for the right person to join us. Respect is key.

[easygoing6998 15]

Easygoing6998 here

 

I agree with this quote and as a 68 single male who has been rejected way too many times, I would add that you have to gain the trust of the couple that your play time will not end up on the 6 a.m. news - particularly if pics have been taken

 

I like the Lifestyle, I like the people in the Lifestyle, I just wish I could find and older gal - 52 to 79 that would join me in the Pacific Northwest about 140 miles North of Seattle on Vancouver Island - Courtenay

 

Take care all.

[StewartP 171]

Fiona normally locates and chats to the guys she is interested in on the websites. She then runs him by me, and I'll try and get in a 1-on-1 chat with him....

If he can't talk with me then he's lost out.

I'll talk about trios and if he isn't up for a threesome he's got no hope of flying solo!!

I'll also ask if he's OK with me speaking to the people he has listed in his testimonials.

 

I can't really put into words what I'm looking for when I chat with him, respect for us as a couple, self confidence but a bit of humility thrown in the mix.

When we do a MFM he and I are going to get pretty close, physically as well as in other ways, he needs to be my accomplice, not my rival.

[angelkin 1,326]

he needs to be my accomplice, not my rival.

 

I LOVE this line Stewart! I am going to have to tell hubby about that one

[funcouple99 35]

I saw references on here and a few comments... didn't read all of them but I would suggest REFERRALS.

My wife and I started out of the gate and met a few good single guys, some use to be in a couple. But we give referrals to other couples and the single males don't even need to look for couples anymore.

 

Getting in is the trick.

 

WE HATE when a single guy keeps bullshitting. Especially about how many chicks he has bagged and how big his dick is...who cares. We could all sit around and talk about our past and how impressed we all our with our selves... but why?

 

That normally means the guy is in secure and probably problems. We haven't even played with someone like that, not even close. AND WE ARE VERY EASY... but if you bullshit you don't even make the first cut, no matter what the person looks like. We even have some peeps with helicopters and yachts... blah blah blah... who cares. Unless you are going to donate one of your toys to our family being real is the only thing important. lol

[Baakpon 15]

Yes that is a party foul. He may be uncomfortable around you because he is afraid you will be jealous. That sadly means that he is not comfortable with himself. If the male half of a couple is not comfortable with me "first" I would never chat up the couple. A single man has to be comfortable being around both of you or he does not play well with others.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

I saw references on here and a few comments... didn't read all of them but I would suggest REFERRALS.

My wife and I started out of the gate and met a few good single guys, some use to be in a couple. But we give referrals to other couples and the single males don't even need to look for couples anymore.

 

Getting in is the trick.

 

WE HATE , when a single guy keeps bullshitting. Especially about how many chicks he has bagged and how big his dick is.. .who cares. We could all sit around and talk about our past and how impressed we all our with our selves... but why?

 

That normally means the guy is in secure and probably problems. We haven't even played with someone like that, not even close. AND WE ARE VERY EASY.. but if you bull shit you don't even make the first cut, no matter what the person looks like. We even have some peeps with helicopters and yachts... blah blah blah... who cares. Unless you are going to donate one of your toys to our family being real is the only thing important. lol

 

Had a SM last night who evidently thought he could change my mind about playing with him by making himself see more desirable. How did he do this? By telling me he'd already gotten laid twice during the party (1. It was a social. 2. I seriously doubt his ego let him get laid at all)

[Liutas 15]

Good read! All good advice, although it mostly seems like common sense to me, but maybe that's because I've been involved in the lifestyle as part of a couple. We never played with a single partner, although occasionally one of the four (or six) would take a little break and we'd enjoy some two-on-one fun.

[BiCaliGirl777 48]

In a way I feel like single men are the bottom of the totem pole (sorry, guys.). However I think you can always work your way to the top.

 

*It's not all about sex: Don't try to introduce yourself to a couple or single lady by your crotch. I hate it when I get mauled by single men that are just looking for a quick bang and become touchy feely the first few seconds I meet them. I am not a prostitute so don't treat me like one. And don't talk about how amazing in bed you are and how you will "rock my world". Goodbye.

 

*Get to know people first. I feel that many single guys goal is to bang, which is the overall picture, but if you can't see the forest from the trees, you're going to be disappointed.

 

 

*Respect is a two way street. To get it you got to dish it out. Respect the couple/single person. NO means NO. Be polite.

 

*Make sure you stand out in a crowd (in a good way). Have a style that is all your own, introduce yourself to everyone, be friendly.

 

* And I really hate it when guys hit me up to be their "date", posing as a "couple" to avoid paying the single guy fee. I am not an escort. If you really want to go and think it's too expensive, then don't go.

 

*No BS.

[curiousbear 20]

What self respecting man would go to a club that treated him like a subhuman, and expected him to not only like it, but feel privileged for being allowed to be in the presence of other club-goers!?

hmmmmm...We think only those that are less than desirable. We couldn't imagine most of the males we play with allowing themselves to be treated like that. Would you go

 

There are couple of great advice in this thread.

 

Apart from that, the more I read, I think me visiting a club as single male would be a big mistake...

[Twilighttap 145]

Coming onto this thread late, but its been a challenge to find single men that mesh with us. Part of that is where to find them. Here's a couple of examples of emails we've gotten on life style websites from guys we never met (so these are introductions) where we have a profile: "Lets get together over presidents day weekend 2/18-20. Drinks, dinner... I can host at a hotel if you cant host at your home. You have some very sexy pictures and with us two guys I'm sure we can come up a few other options she might like. Lets make some videos to add to our collections too." ;"Chicken Shit, come swallow my enormous loads....I mean if you enjoy sucking a large thick COCK"; "Am available"; "Hey"; "Whats your cell number?". We have more normal conversations at greet and meets etc. but this type of aggressive approach has put us off.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

? . . . We have more normal conversations at greet and meets etc. but this type of aggressive approach has put us off.

I suspect that very few of these men ever figure out the reason that they get very few replies.

[Twilighttap 145]

So we continue to try to talk to males - maybe find a fun guy to join us. Had one we chatted with online through one of the swinger sites. We switched the conversation over to Kik. When talking to hubby as first point of contact, we got a story about how his couple friends moved away, he was looking for another couple, he was nice and respectful and pleasing the woman ws his first priority. When I took over the chats to get a feel for him, he immediately switched talk to how he wanted "to fill all my holes and do ass to mouth". When I didn't respond any more, he started begging for a response. He didn't understand his bad behavior or that the Kik messages stick around until you delete them - so ample opportunity to show hubby. Oh well.

[BobGann 40]

I'm new here, but not to the lifestyle....and yes, some guys just don't get it. I think a lot of guys get creepy with their online "persona" figuring that's what others are into. I've found that the lifestyle breaks out roughly into two camps, those that are just into being on the sites and talking to people online only as a fantasy, and then those who are into actually moving things into the real world and having some fun.

 

My favorites are definitely the latter.....

[Napoleon 232]

I wish more women in a relationships understood that "no means no" when a single male says it the first time.

[dan63 106]

As far as references go, I don't believe I have heard anyone refer to the certifications on SLS. I'm sure many other sites have some type of similar functionality but SLS is what I am most familiar with. My wife Cheryl and I are pretty new to the lifestyle but have had some various playtimes. We are really not looking for a single male, but while browsing SLS recently I came across a SM profile that had somewhere in the high 40s of certs. I had to check this out. Well it was impressive the glowing reviews given by mostly the lady half of the couples. How polite, how good looking, friendly with the husband, and yes many many glowing comments about his skills in bed. I really like to see Cheryl have a good time and sensed an opportunity for her to experience something good. I have contacted him and we are now in the process of exchanging pictures. Don't know if anything will come of this or not, but because of his positive experience with these other couples and their reviews of him, we are willing to give him a chance.

 

SLS certs are a valuable commodity in the LS.

 

Dan

[BobGann 40]

People seem to be of two minds when it comes to SLS certs. Some people think they are a valuable screening tool, while others are uncomfortable with advertising who has been with who.