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Yikes.....THIS IS NOT what most of us think this lifestyle ought to be.  Your older friend who used you reminds of the very terrible things that happened to Linda Lovelace after her famous porn video ("Deep Throat").  Her BF (or husband?) literally "pimped her out" pretending it was a swinging date.

 

THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE FUN!  It is suppose to be consensual and the ultimate gesture of unselfish sharing. 

 

It is encouraging to see the supportive comments of so many "regulars" and I hope YOUR spirits are lifted up bi their kindness and sympathy.

 

I hope you can "shake of the chaff" and find those precious pure seeds of WHEAT in your future.  FOCUS on THE MEMORY of how YOU FELT when you first started (the FUN parts, not the uncomfortable parts)!  Think about and FOCUS on the strangely ATTRACTIVE parts you shared with such tenderness and SEEK THAT.....if and when YOU so desire.

 

The LONGER I get to LIVE, the MORE I APPRECIATE "consensual desire!"  I grew TIRED of "begging for sex" and started "dating" a married couple to avoid a "Fatal Attraction."  I was VERY FORTUNATE.....and as I have matured, my "focus" has narrowed.  Nowadays, "porn" is plentiful and SPECIFIC.  The "BDSM" stuff does NOT TURN ME ON!  Further, IMHO, any MAN or WOMAN who "likes it" is flying a very large "RED FLAG" of selfish desire.  "Fifty Shades of Grey" WAS WRITTEN bi a woman.  However, the mathematical implications of how close one is to "black or white" (hard stuff....soft stuff) is a slippery slope.

 

UNLESS, ALL of YOU WOMEN develop and exercise "limit tests!"  Bi that I mean, set up a situation where the man thinks he is gonna FUCK YOU CRAZY...butt THEN say "how about we just hug in the nude and you go down on me for a hour and I'll go down on you for a hour."  THE ONLY "proper response is, "OK!" (spoken with a smile).

 

As a self identified smooth bisexual nudist, you'd be surprised how many MEN I end up "blocking" on a website I have been a "life member" of since 2005!  I do give them feedback, "too pushy, bye bye (instead of bi bi)"

 

"NO" means NO....."wait" means STOP.

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I'm so sorry to see this, but glad you're on track with a good support system, and that you've reached out to let us know you're safe. 

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So sorry to hear about the dark path you ended up on, but glad to hear that you found your way out of the darkness. You've certainly been missed here and we're glad to see that you have returned. Always know that we as a community are always here to provide whatever help and support that you need. Welcome home...

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You are strong, stay that way. Thank you for posting so others can read that swinging doesn’t always take a straight path. You are smart enough to take advice from the people who care about your welfare and health and dismiss the ugly remarks. 
You are a beautiful young lady that, look in the mirror every morning you will see her. 😘

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Leah, you are lucky you live in NJ where women are still in control of their bodies. 
 

As the others we are glad you escaped from bad people. We will look for promising future posts. 

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I appreciate the vulnerability, courage, and strength that it took for you to share your story here.  Glad to know that things are on the mend.  Despite the difficulty, it sounds like you have managed to find some positive growth from your experience with the help of some supportive people in your life.

Be Well.

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I love that people care about others. You must be a terrific person by the remarks I am reading. 

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