Before I got involved in the lifestyle, I thought that if a couple had an argument and one or both ran off to get sympathy and sex from someone else it would be a disaster. It has happened in our group and as said above, being in a lifestyle group actually accelerates the making up process. Getting sympathy, advice, sex from someone else, and knowing your spouse is getting sex from someone else encourages reconciliation.

I can well imagine that the possibilities for reconciliation in the event of conflicts in a poly relationship are much more varied than in a monogamous relationship, in which there is often no way out and sometimes it is not possible to reconcile so quickly. Precisely because everyone loves each other, wants to find a common path together and other partners are there as a point of contact, a quieter family life is much more possible. The other partner can help resolve conflicts with the other. But love is also changeable, depending on who is interested in whom at the moment and what their sexual preferences are, depending on their mood and current feelings, in order to live it out together. And after an argument you can have sex with the other partner and then have nice make-up sex with the other partner again after the reconciliation. So in a poly family there is enough love and space for everyone.

The whole relationship is stable because when any two of us have a tiff, those two go running off to others in the family where they find understanding, sympathy, love, sex, and an admonition to be reasonable. There's nothing like seeing someone you love, but are angry with, bedding down at night with another woman giving him soothing words, that drives you to make up.

The contrast also makes being together much more interesting. Merging in love and living out animal instincts can always be refreshing, especially as a contrast especially living together in a polygamous family. In a poly family, I imagine the interaction between each other to be very varied. It certainly enlivens the relationships between each other and it never becomes less tense, as in a monogamous relationship after a while. So contrast between soft and hard and between deep love and wild expression of sexual urges offers everyone a perfect, varied interplay.

For us it is and I can appreciate the contrast.

For most lifestylers, it's on a spectrum. For us though, it's nothing as extreme as "deeply in love" or "animal sex".

For us in our poly family, we are deeply in love with more than one person, live together, share children we've made together. We also, however, on occasions have strictly instinctual animal sex with others. They are friends, but it is understood that it is only carnal pleasures.

The only love involved for us is the love of sex. There is no intimate or loving feelings between anyone except the two of us.

We are not looking for love with others. It’s more of a friends with benefits goal for us.

Love is a good thing. My wife has boyfriends (I do not have girlfriends). Does love enter the picture with some of her boyfriends? Of course. It wouldn't be as good for her otherwise, and I know that if they're alone together he is treating her good because there are real feelings. Women have the capacity to love different people differently and it doesn't mean she loves me less. There is no such thing as too much love.

We don't have English as a native language, so you can be forgiven if some things aren't quite right. We are a Christian couple and like to live out love as it was given to us with others. Sex is a fundamental part of our human life and we live it as we should, with respect for others, deep devotion and love for our intimate friends. Through sex with others we feel very strengthened in our relationship as a couple and through our choice of romantic partners we also feel very loved and very strongly connected to each another. He gives us a lot of extra love and warmth. And yes, as believing Christians, we enjoy this wonderful and particularly great gift from God that we also like to pass on our love to others through sex. We have hardly received any criticism for it so far. Some of those we have met so far did not find our Christian background negative, but rather much more exciting and loved the heartfelt aspect, as we are not only concerned with the sex drive but also with the mental well-being of our love partners. An exchange here would be nice. It would be nice to find like-minded who don't judge us for it or others here who would like to exchange their thoughts. with deep desire and love Lara and Chris

Yes, it has been quiet in here! Welcome, darkcock.

hello all

lol doesn't feel like there are many christian swingers out there. be nice to play with people that have the same views as we do

I like to write sex stories for women I know, it gets them turned on for when we finally get to meet up. I never use those kinds of words in my stories, it makes the story more interesting if you use more passionate words. So no I really don't like those words either.

So perhaps this sounds weird but I get somewhat turned off when during sex foul language is used. Now I'm not a total prude, I say Fuck, Pussy, Cock, etc.... but I only use it sparingly, especially the F word (Yes I know I just used it but i'm illustrating the point). Really I've only used F when I was in the most intense of sexual arousals. So I want to hear your opinions on this because we tried one night to never use the other terms for genitalia but to actually only use Penis, Vagina, Clitoris, Anus, things like that and to be very honest it got us really really hot! Thoughts?

I wish there were more post in here : ) maybe we are a minority

Great to meet you! So positive!

Welcome! You'll find my recent post, in which I lay-out where I am on this topic, here. I expect that we will have people here with backgrounds in many different churches, holding many different theologies, and dealing with many different degrees of "strictness" and "social coercion." But this is a remarkably friendly board, and I hope our conversations will continue to be friendly. Yours in Christ! RunSilent RunDeep