I think it's funny sometimes, how our strongest held perceptions can change so radically and so quickly. Five years ago, I wouldn't have wanted to associate with any swingers because I thought they would have inexcusably low morals. Now, I realize quite the opposite is the general pattern among the folks we've met at the parties. Trust and respect are very important values for me. When we go to a party, I'll toss my wallet and keys into the play-bag with confidence they'll be safe.

I'm generally not one to make friends quickly, and that pattern has somewhat reversed itself too. I surprised myself when I climbed into bed with a lady whose name I didn't know at the time. She clearly wanted a piece of me and I happened to think her obvious good taste in men was especially becoming. I find friendships among swingers to develop quickly and easily.

When swinging was new to us, we liked the way it made us feel about ourselves. Our self-perceptions changed and I think we're psychologically healthier now because of the way we view sexual interaction with others as no threat to our relationship with each other. Not only is it not a threat, but it's a contributing factor in the strength of our bond. Now, we both feel pleasure in knowing that each other is enjoying the sexual variety. It's both sad and funny how readily the general population accepts cheating as an almost expected part of long term marriages while they disapprove of swinging. I think swinging is a healthy way to grow in a relationship while cheating is the painful way (if the marriage survives).

The variety we've experienced and the sexual freedoms we enjoy have enhanced the way we make love to each other in ways that I find difficult to put into words. It's not so much a change in our technique, but rather a stronger intensity in the meaning of our touches - like the quiver of excitement we share when I softly stroke her cheek while we kiss. There's a closeness that words were never designed to convey.

So now that the jittery newness of swinging has faded into pleasant memories, occasional sex parties are fun reminders for us to keep the freshness of our passion for each other at the top of our "to do lists".

And that has made all the difference....