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Special K

So, we've been playing the Karezza game for about four months now and have refined a few of our earlier observations.   Think of the continuum between sexual satisfaction and sexual frustration much like the number line we all learned in grade school. Frustration, would be the negative numbers and satisfaction the positive. We each have a range of preferred locations along this line. A fulfilling and exciting sexual encounter is likely to put us higher on the scale of satisfaction. Any particul

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Do you believe in Sex Magic?

I suppose, it's existence is not dependent on your or my beliefs. What exactly IS "sex magic"? Is sex ALWAYS magic even when we don't intentionally desire any conjuring?   Every civilization has a complex set of rules that limit individual sexual behavior. Violators are labeled as deviants and they suffer social disapproval. The limitations serve to restrict the exploration and practice of sex magic.   I think "sex" is a conduit of strong cosmic energy and this energy CAN be intentionally mani

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Our Exploits in Tantra Town

Local news station reports strange resurrection event in Tantra Town. Details at eleven.   I guess I haven't been very active on the board lately. I recall reading someone's post a long time ago that mentioned the correlation between forum posting activity and swinging activity. I concur with the observation.   Life has been busy lately and one of the things that slipped off our things to do list is swinging. We didn't consciously make the decision to take a break from swinging, it just kind o

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swing under the hummingbird feeder

Sometimes, satisfaction is a difficult thing to recognize, but finding it and appreciating it are important to our self perception and quality of life. Many of us spend nearly a lifetime accumulating material possessions and asserting our social influence for the general purpose of making life better for ourselves and our posterity. It's a never ending battle. When do we decide we have enough "stuff" and it's time to slow down and enjoy some of it?   The autumn breeze gently swings the near emp

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Steven Hawking's secret prayer tips turn frigid wives into swingers

The human brain is a glorious collection of neurons that mostly respond to various signals from our well known senses and it performs a few other trivial tasks as well (like keep us alive). Our brain is our most powerful sex organ - an impressive bonus for humanity. The complex features of our brain drive us toward our instinctive behaviors and interestingly, allow us the capability to consciously override instinctive programming. Our invention of morality rules is a product of our ability to un

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play couple: Hugh Jargon & Norma Stits

What is the role of morality in sexual objectification among swingers?   I think we all recognize unchecked objectification of each other as a strongly immoral perception and this leads to victimization and disrespectful behavior. We loose our identity and individuality. What squelches rampant sexual objectification and restores balance to a healthy and respectful sharing adventure?   We've all seen examples of folks searching for BBC or many other classes of objectifications such as unicorns,

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Questionable Morality

Perhaps, with the current Proposition 8 controversy in California, it's a good time for morality discussions within the swinger community.   While many vanillas would question our entire value systems, we have seen the true light and cast off the shackles of the strict sexual exclusivity burden. We understand the noble value of sharing sexuality with each other. Our community has no regulatory or enforcement authority. We are each acting as free agents in a permissive environment. We do as we c

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Twisted Chemistry

Holy Shit!! Look at those sexy eyes staring back at me!!! And the way her hips sway when she walks across the room... Her long dark shimmering hair and gossamer mini-dress ambush my imagination. I quickly become convinced of the overwhelming probability we can make some incredible smiles together. Periscope UP (three eyes are always better than two). Have I seen her before,, somewhere? She looks a little familiar, but not quite registering in my memory. The way she stares at me means either I h

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friendships based entirely on party sex

Of course it's important to have a few friends. Many of us are of a personality persuasion labeled 'INTJ' and by definition that means we are less likely to have many folks we consider friends. Friends share a common interest and share some fun moments in an activity together. The relationship has a mutual benefit or falls apart over time.   The sex-based friendship has a very interesting twist. Somehow, discussing the nth detail of a metal machining operation on home shop equipment seems somew

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inappropriate morality rules stifle healthy instincts

What does 'swinging' mean to me......   Sometimes I hook-up at the parties and sometimes I don't, and I always enjoy the fresh sexual excitement and arousal. That fresh impulse of sexual energy makes life significantly more fun.   This thought comes to mind because we missed a party recently and we still enjoyed a really fun refreshing of the sexual excitement between us. We caught a mild cold, most likely from the grandkids. No fever or major discomfort, just constant sinus drainage. Because

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she fucks like a maaaaannn

There I was on the back patio, in my dark green boxers with red kissy lips, enjoying a cigarette and a cold beer. The night air was refreshingly cool and the light breeze felt really good on my sweaty body. A few ladies in various states of undress were also in the "smoking area" and we were passing time with unmemorable light conversation.   The party was well under way with lots of folks I think I remember seeing before but didn't remember their names. We just say, "Hi" and smile as we pass.

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Sexual Excitement

I believe sexual excitement is among the top ten reasons we enjoy life. It sure feels good.   When a pair of threes wins the pot, usually Lady Luck isn't even in the same county. A pair of threes, beats a pair of twos - at least once every blue moon.   The spousal unit and I have been pillow-talking about exploring group sex, specifically, threesomes. We had a little soft-swap group sex back when we first started, but no "real" threesome - at least from our perceptions. We try real hard to kil

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sexual habituation

I've been doing quite a bit of googling lately about sexual habituation - from brain chemistry to tantric rituals. The problem of habituation eventually led us to swinging in search of a remedy. Whether it's dopamine and serotonin or Maslow, I like the way swinging invoked that honeymoon feeling for my wife and me. It has lasted a couple of years now, and I don't see any signs of it tapering off. If anything, we keep finding new ways to feel closer to each other (that's pretty cool after more th

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Seven Secrets of the Sexually Successful

Get comfortable and tune out the distractions of daily life while we share a thought together.   How do we each define sexual success? Do we consider ourselves successful? Do we consider others as more or less successful than ourselves? What obstacles do we see between us and success? How will we know when we find success? Can we be content with simple success? Why are we on this damned planet?   The secrets are still secrets,,, I have no Divine Revelations to share. The mystery is as old as t

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exhibitionistic bonding celebration

We spend a lifetime exploring our sexuality. We each blaze our own path through the wilderness of human experiences searching for opportunities we value. There are way too many distractions with religion and societal morality as well as internalized morality directing us to avoid certain opportunities. What is the true guiding force? One that is without a manipulative agenda.   What do I like about house parties? There's an excitement and levity of the party atmosphere. There's an openness and

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play it again, sam

While I believe exploratory sex to be one of the wonders of the sexual world, there's something special about revisiting a connection with a smiling babe from parties past.   She remembers the fun we had together the last time we played, and she wants some more. There's a smile in her eyes and an extra boost in the energy when she grabs my ass. She pulls me close and probes my soul with her devilish tongue. She whispers, "Let's find a room."   A laundry bomb explodes as we do the locker room s

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exploratory sex

The puritanical baggage so prevalent in society suggests that sex should be something special and have a "meaning". The concept of Friends With Benefits lies somewhere near the other end of the continuum. What does it take for two (or more) people to be interested in enjoying an hour or so of sexual exploration? What are our expectations about the gratification we'll experience? And the thrill we'll provide?   Yes, of course there's the ever-present visual attraction layer and everyone has thei

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Loving you is so much fun

I think the magic of swinging is "genuine generosity", where we look for meaningful opportunities to compromise with each other.   We see other couples quibbling over trivial stuff and feel a little pity for them. Not in a condescending way, but in a way that we would like to be able to help them recover from the loss of that lovin feelin. Ohhhhh, that lovin feelin! Step back from the problems at hand and find the happy path between your differences.   I guess the willingness to compromise com

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Two years down the less traveled road

I think it's funny sometimes, how our strongest held perceptions can change so radically and so quickly. Five years ago, I wouldn't have wanted to associate with any swingers because I thought they would have inexcusably low morals. Now, I realize quite the opposite is the general pattern among the folks we've met at the parties. Trust and respect are very important values for me. When we go to a party, I'll toss my wallet and keys into the play-bag with confidence they'll be safe.   I'm genera

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Common Denominator

As an engineer, I enjoy the occasional thread about what makes swingers different from the general population. Of course I've pondered that myself,, many times.   Swinging is a behavior and behaviors are the result of causes or needs. Logic dictates there is a common denominator among swinging married couples. And yet, we collectively shoot big gaping holes in every theory I've seen proposed here (why do I suspect mine will be any different). Our evidence is mostly anecdotal, but generally, we

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Camping Party

We so often read about people's problems and concerns, I thought I'd share a fun time we had this past weekend.   It was a camping party with a group we had never been with before and at a camp ground unfamiliar to us - we really didn't know what to expect. There were about 40 couples and a few single ladies signed up for the party and we had previously met 4 of the couples and one of the ladies.   We had planned to arrive early to get a good camp site, but took a wrong turn and got a little l

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Sex in the forth dimentia

Did ya ever have one of those strange sensations when something is 'just enough out of the ordinary' to catch your attention, when the event is otherwise unremarkable?   The other night, we were making love and it felt a little better than usual - we connected better, there was energy flowing. She grabbed the remote control for the fan and changed the speed from low to high (that's not too abnormal, her thermostat is broke).   When we finished, we collapsed, gasping for air and grinning when t

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Honey, I love you, go have some HOT sex....

Sometimes, it seems I'm difficult to satisfy. I have to stop and realize just how lucky I really am.   Does swinging sex have a meaning? ... a value?   Well, our first several encounters had a very significant meaning in our lives. They were both "proof" that we had done our homework and were fully prepared to enjoy the fruits of adventurous wild party sex with others AND they were a "celebration" of that fact. They were strange and new, full of excitement and unknowns - we had given each othe

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Swinging around the sun

This past weekend marked our first anniversary as swingers and we celebrated in style at our favorite house party. WOW!!! what a fantastic party!! The house was full of sexy folks, there was a sybian in one of the rooms and I got to work the controls for a little while (up close and personal!!). We talked with friends we've known for most of the year and met some other folks for the first time. The highlight of the party for us was when the host joined us for some MFM action. I found it very ero

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swinging for dummies

I sometimes wonder why there's no "Swinging for Dummies" book, there's clearly a market. I wonder what a good book on the subject would actually say. Each time I think I may be on to something, it leads to new thoughts that make the previous ideas incomplete. There can really be no single book for everyone because everyone needs something unique for their admission into swinging.   The way I see it, the domain of sex is much like a large amusement park (call it Sex Flags). There's the petting z

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