We are one of those younger rapidly approaching middle age couples with young kids and limited babysitting.

We need to plan most things a few weeks in advance or have little chance to finding a sitter and even less of finding a sitter that work on swinger hours (aka really damn late, or actually early).

By default swinging is hard for us and at times its not worth the effort and we pass.

But still, when it does work out, its pretty good, and it has been good for us, so no complaints, its just life.

We are at this same point, for some of the very same reasons you identify. People are just at a very different stage in their lives than we are. We are physically very active. Most we've encountered within our age group are simply not there.

Also, the most recent couple we met with seemed to be at a very different place in their lives with their pets, than was acceptable with us. Imagine feeding your cats on your kitchen counter, so that your dog doesn't eat the cat food! The "guest" bath had the uncovered "kitty-litter" strategically placed front and center in the room. If there would have been an exit trap-door, we'd have pulled the cord and simply disappeared! Damn, sometimes we are so blind & accepting.

We are at the stage in our lives where our vocations are our choices, no longer driven by the necessity of earning a pay check. Our children are raised and gone, no longer the central focus of our daily lives. We are animal-free. We are Harley free, and clueless as to Pro Sports/NASCAR.

Fun things, you shouldn't have to work at. If you think it's work, drop the activity be it swinging, skiing, snorkeling.