So I was talking briefly with a friend the other day about this situation and he had asked how things where going. It made me think about this post and I thought when I got time I would come back and update it for what has gone on for the past 5 months or so.
It has been a very bumpy road over the past 5 months, no doubt about it. It took probably close to a month for MrsVan to wrap her head around things and during that first month she also actually admitted that she too had romantic feelings for our friend. She finally talked to our friend about these feelings and our GF actually was feeling the same way. After this moment, while we where all really beginning our "poly" journey, MrsVan still really disliked this word and we pretty much agreed that the relationships where what they where but we pretty much stayed away from the word. Splitting hairs, yup but eventually everyone came around and just admitted that this really was what we where all living and are now comfortable with the description of this.
Things have progressed very well within our group, but like all relationships we have had a lot of struggles just figuring things out. Over the months we have had a lot of discussion among the group and we all are in this for the long haul. We may have disagreements and some of them have been very major "growing pains" but nobody is willing to throw away the relationships over the issues we have had. So far the good FAR out weighs the bad.
I guess we would be in what is considered a poly-fi relationship? We are no longer in the swinging lifestyle as our GF and her husband have never been in the lifestyle and they have no desire to enter it. Our GF has indicated that the thought of us re-entering the lifestyle causes her pain and for the time being MrsVan and I have agreed that we need to concentrate on this relationship and ours solely. We have told our GF that IF we ever decided to re-enter the lifestyle we would discuss this with them first. While they would not be given a veto power to keep us out of it, we would seriously consider and listen to their feelings because we love them dearly and well, that is what we would do with each other, so we feel it is the "right" thing to do with them.
MrsVan and I had been going to see a therapist who has experience with poly relationships. It was going great and we where really making great progress, however he had to move suddenly out of state after our last session last week so now we are searching yet again for a therapist in our area.
So things in our new group are going wonderful and I am very glad to report that things are doing wonderful for all of us. When things are good, they are great, but unfortunately when things aren't so good, well they can be really bad too.