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Content Count
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Joined
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Days Won
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JandKinBoise last won the day on September 30 2018
JandKinBoise had the most liked content!
Community Reputation
851 ExcellentAbout JandKinBoise
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Rank
Super Contributor
- Birthday 04/26/1962
Personal Info
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Relationship Status
Couple
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Location
Boise ID
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Interests
Ski, hike, screw
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Occupation
technical
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Swinging Experience
couple years
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Anniversary
06/28/80
Swinger Info
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SLS Name
jandkinboise
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coupletcwa started following JandKinBoise
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We found keeping it to 3 or 4 meetings and then moving on. More than that and guys were telling my wife how much better off she'd be with him.
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special opinion on the content of swingers between couples,,
JandKinBoise replied to NewSw's topic in Swingers Talk
This post reminds me of high school. The 4 of us started by having sex in our cars, with the cars parked close together. Then we started having sex in her basement, the girls laying next to each other, eventually holding hands and later still, kissing. Eventually, the girls would start us off with heavy making out, fingering and 69. Then the swap, he and I went to the fridge for a beer, when we went back into the bedroom the girls had swapped places in the bed. It was then I found out I was not cool with that aspect yet, and wouldn't be for 30+ more years. -
How do I get over my anxiety of being in a 3some?
JandKinBoise replied to Blueyebabe's topic in Curious About Swinging?
Welcome the The Swingers Board! Going into a new sexual situation is a very stressful time. Remember when you lost your virginity? My wife felt similar to you, body willing, but difficult shaking all the years of social standards. She decided to see a therapist. After talking to her a couple times she was ready to jump in with both feet. She was still apprehensive and had a lot of rules, which were shed quite quickly. I remember the talk afterward and she was feeling she had put so much pressure on herself. It's just a stressful situation until you actually do it. Like the first time you walk up to a zip line.- 12 replies
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Years ago, at work, a female co-worker and I were talking. At some point during the conversation, we touched briefly. Less than a second but we both totally lost our train of thought and became very nervous. We both know we felt it and neither of us wanted to pursue something. I believe simple eye contact and a nod would have pushed either of us over the boundary. Not something I want to practice. Wielding this kind of power with a shit sense of impulse control would suck.
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Welcome to the Board. There is a TON of advise on starting swinging here and a great community to help. If FFM is your goal, a pro will save a ton of time and frustration. We haven't used one but have spoken with several who have. Come to find out, prostitutes are real people! A high percentage of couples feel ffm is the safest way to start swinging. Single female swingers are called unicorns, due to the rare sightings. Your system is set up to succeed. Congrats on the super cool wife.
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If this happens, be ready to have rules broken. A little booze a lot of sex and things progress. People tend to have expectations, plans, a vision of the events about to happen. Mostly wrong. So imagine the event happening, she's been blowing this guy for 10 minutes, you've been banging away. Unless the guys come, this gets monotonous. Let her know that she is free to do whatever so she doesn't feel trapped doing this one thing. My experience is a woman will go into this with intentions that soon fall away. Good luck!
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What was your first bi male experience like as a swinger?
JandKinBoise replied to njbm's topic in First Swinging Experiences
Mine was an mmf. It was planned kinda. Excellent experience.- 7 replies
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Maybe expecting a man to be able to have more than one orgasm in a session is unrealistic. If your experiences to date has been multi orgasmic men, congratulations. On a first encounter, in a very erotic situation, the odds would be better. If these are guys are regular playmates, I'm betting on a lack of erotic newness, if that makes sense. Concerning them getting off before you, well, wtf? How long is foreplay? Are you getting them close to orgasm before they get inside you? Is it taking you longer? Something changed and it seems unlikely that suddenly all the guys started sucking at sex.
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3sum gone bad - what should I have done?
JandKinBoise replied to midlifecrisis's topic in Adventures in Swinging
What a bad situation. In the future, I suggest during your first meeting face to face, make sure you show affection toward the woman and watch the husband's reaction. In a bar, he won't be all that turned on and should react if he is the jealous type. On our first successful meeting, the guy came up behind us, put his arms around my wife, whispered in her ear, kissed her cheek and sat down across from her. He spent the entire time focused on her. Had I been jealous, I would have pulled her out of the situation. -
Bisexual guys are looked down upon by straights, gays, and swingers alike. It's a guarded secret and only comes out when discussing play with a potential partner. As a guy who loves sex with people, any people, I feel broken. We are greedy, our lives are ruled by sex, our decisions are based on sex and since there are plenty of closet bi guys, there is plenty to be had. Besides being disease ridden cesspools of disgust, we also can play as fully straight guys without any m-m contact. Sex is the goal, who, why, and how is irrelevant. Maybe I'm lucky but even though I've had a LOT of sex, I've never contracted an STD. You've probably played with bisexual guys if you have been at this awhile. It just isn't tattooed on our forehead. And if we know you are straight and you ask, so are we. If it helps, all of the bisexual guys I knew were overly safe and got tested constantly. It's a constant fear to not just have an STD, but to be the one spreading it. I noticed that no one answered the question because no one ever had to face this situation. Imagine being a guy with a very non-social sexual issue. Is this something you drop on a partner at the last second? Who would do that? It's not 1970 but the attitude is nearly the same.
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There is no recipe. You discuss, you decide a direction, you pursue that direction until a change is needed. Post play talk is very important to bring to light things that were not enjoyable. Going for an mfm because a swap is difficult, will cause problems if the guy sees the mfm play as one sided, which it is. MFMF is difficult but if you are in a populated area, it shouldn't be impossible. It's all in the personal ad and how you lay it out. Read a bunch and see what seems to work. Also, meet and greet parties are a good way to mingle.
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Thinking about MFM with single males
JandKinBoise replied to njbm's topic in Curious About Swinging?
It's a good idea, especially if you are getting frustrated with the work that goes into couple swapping. Just be aware that it's the exact opposite of looking for a couple. Advertise for a single guy and you will be flooded quickly. The tough part is weeding out the fakes and flakes and finding the gem in the pile.