In our fair city are a number of clubs, bars, etc that those of the swinging lifestyle frequent. Over time and exploration, we have found the clubs that are more suited to our social crowd. What really stands out to us is finding places where people … “look just like us”. You may need to seek out a place that comes closer to your expectations.
But while I’m at it … while I don’t advocate that people should lower their expectations, I would state that things do go both ways. As many that look at others thinking they are old, over weight, ugly, strange, not attractive … get the same thing in return by some other person or couple in the same room.