First, thank you all, for the welcome and the replies. Second, I am a medical professional, lol. I have discussed the weight gain with my doc, who is making some changes to my meds because of it. As of my last visit I hadn't connected the decrease in libido, I knew I didn't feel sexy because of the gain, but at that time assumed the lack of libido was more related to my issues and how I feel, combined with life in general, stress, kids, work, etc. As far as our relationship, it's as strong or stronger now than before, that has never been an issue. And no, he hasn't asked for this, this is me, all me. We discussed years ago the chances of one of us being unable to keep up, and that neither of us would want to hold the other back in this area. I can see hr still has libido, it's me who doesn't anymore. When before it was I who couldn't find partners who could keep up with me, now, I don't even desire self satisfaction. We have played together, seperate, and many different ways and scenarios over the years. I love knowing he's satisfied and taken care of, it's just that right now, I have no desire to do it or be a part of it, I don't even like my body period right now, don't want to be touched in a sexual way, it isn't him doing this to me at all, it's me, and in talking with friends I know it isn't others' perceptions of me, but my own, and until I can either lose the weight, or get past it, I feel doomed to this feeling.