Condoms in the lifestyle?

[curious24]

I've noticed something on some sites that I just don't understand. It seems to me that on this site the majority of people practice safe sex and use condoms. However, I have seen images from several single guys and even couples that have them in the act and I have not once seen any guys using condoms. Is the use of condoms in the lifestyle not really used much? Do these images give the wrong impression of the lifestyle and it's safty?

[curiousduo30]

Originally Posted by curious24

I've noticed something on some sites that I just don't understand. It seems to me that on this site the majority of people practice safe sex and use condoms.

I think this is true, but I know that a lot of people (myself excluded) do not use them with partners.

Originally Posted by curious24

However, I have seen images from several single guys and even couples that have them in the act and I have not once seen any guys using condoms.

We do not use condoms with each other, so as a couple (unless they were involved in play with others, which you probably mean...) we would not be too concerned with this...Totally different story if they were with others and also with the single men...I would be put off by this as well.

Originally Posted by curious24

Is the use of condoms in the lifestyle not really used much? Do these images give the wrong impression of the lifestyle and it's safty?

I think the use of condoms is predominant, meaning that they are used in swing situations (in my limited experience) but, I also believe that these "condomless" pictures totally give a VERY BAD impression of this lifestyle and it's safety...

[DBL D]

It's really quite difficult to change a person's mind on the subject of using condoms. People will use them for basically two purposes. Protection from certain STD's and the risk of pregnancy.

It appears that we all believe we are the only safe ones on the planet, and we need protection from everybody else, like those people who walk around with those latex gloves on wherever they go. They are protected from "us" but we aren't from "them". They don't use their gloves like a condom is used though, which I hope is a new one for EACH sexual encounter!

However, I think most couples use condoms until they reach a comfort/trust/documented level. If some told you they had a cold you'd use different tactics when around them or something they had contacted. Most swingers are comfortable with the assumption that everyone else has a "cold". That is not to say that they all do and you have to find out those that aren't sick and trust them as you would your spouse, to some degree, if you are going in with out protection.

What those photos may be telling you is what is possible with this couple if certain things become clearly understood. It may be telling you something about their personalities. They may also have been from the "old" days. They may also just be photos of themselves with each other, which is always bareback!

Male D

[Greg & Sheryl]

We do believe that condoms are less prevalent in swinging than one might initially think, and we said so last year in a great thread about Bareback Swingers. However, the photos that you see probably don't accurately represent the rate of condom usage in the lifestyle. As DBL D suggested, many of those photos are of married or committed couples with each other. In photos where couples are engaged in a bareback swap, our guess is that those couples have known each other long enough to develop a certain level of comfort and trust. That bond which led them to go bareback is probably the same bond which allowed them photograph their playtime in the first place.

[DBL D]

Excellent! I wish I could write things that simply and easily!

Male D

[lcjtsd]

We prefer not to use condoms and do everything naturally. We state this in our ad and so we don't get many people writing to us which I think is funny as it seems that everyone does oral without one. We look at it this way; if my wife was to do oral on another guy and I with his wife, with nothing covered up, and they did have something, what's the point of condoms for intercourse? If they did have something, we most likely already got it from the oral.

As was stated in the "Bareback Swingers" thread, we choose people based on certain similarities such as how long they have been married, etc. and feel that like us, the odds of them having something is less likely.

Also, we do like cream pies and seconds and are looking for other couples that are in to this too. This is what we like so being with another couple who insists on condoms would kind of take the fun out of this for us.

Sex with others is risky and everyone has to choose their own comfort level.

[xxoticangel]

Personally if I felt comfortable enough with another couple/single to allow pictures I would probably be comfortable enough with that person to not use condoms.

For us condoms are required for intercourse when playing with others. However, I have noticed over the last year or so that the use of condoms among swinging couples seems to have declined. This past summer we saw several couples change partners sans latex and have been asked to so without with new couples more than once.

The reason STDs are so rare in the lifestyle is because most people require condoms. I am a little distressed at the current trend away from their use.

[good times]

We have noticed that it seems like people want to be politically correct and say that they use condoms when asked, but when it comes right down to it a lot of them don't, at least in our area. It has been our experiance that well less than half of the people we know in the lifestyle actually use condoms when swinging unless the other party specifically requests that they do so.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Greg & Sheryl

That bond which led them to go bareback is probably the same bond which allowed them photograph their playtime in the first place.

I think this probably does hit the nail right on the noggin'.

Most of the pictures we have seen, we've assumed that they were the actual couple - and therefore safe sex wasn't an issue.

We have been surprised by the couples who seem surprised when we actually carry through with our "condoms only" rule once we get into a play room.

We were playing with a couple once who knew our rule about that, both through lots of conversation and a "before we play" e-mail. But yet, when I pulled one out to "glove up" she looked over at her husband and said, "they use condoms sweetie... You'll need a condom..."



I do think the condom rule flexes with comfort, but we have only played without with one couple and that was a really close friendship (at the time). We are very unlikely to go there again. It just makes things much less complicated and less stressful.

Spoomonkey

[sereneiders]

Originally Posted by lcjtsd

We look at it this way; if my wife was to do oral on another guy and I with his wife, with nothing covered up, and they did have something, what's the point of condoms for intercourse? If they did have something, we most likely already got it from the oral.

Well, that's a very wrong asumption, and moreover for HIV.

Saliva is a seldom stong antiseptic by itself, and some viruses like the HIV, have a very short life outside a viable biological medium. The risk of getting something from doing oral comes mostly from little injuries in the gums and teeths which become a direct path to the blood stream without giving saliva enough time to work.

As example, even when theet brushing is an appreciated "good taste" measure before engaging in a sexual act, today it is being adviced to do it long before the actual meeting, because the bruching is most likely to leave tinny wounds that need an hour or two to heal properly, so theet brushing may become a threat for your health.

Anyway, intercourse involve a lot of skin to skin contact and rubbing, old skin cells are lifted and may drag healty skin to make little scars, that even being invisible, turns into a path to the blood stream. This is way more likely to happen in anal intercourse, since the rectum walls are way more tender than the vagina ones.

The gals (well... the "takers" ones) are the in more risk because semen, and in a lesser degree precum, have blood white cells (hence the white color). In oral, without swallowing, saliva may be enough as an antiseptic, and swallowing increases the exposure along the digestive tract up to the stomacj where acids get rid of the threat. In the other hand, umprotected vaginal intercourse is risky because of the rubbing and the chances for semen white cells to reach the womb coating made mostly of blood cells, and unprotected anal is, by far, the most risky of all.

For the "giving" side, the risk comes solely from the rubbing.

So, "if they did have something and you didn't got it from oral, consider yourself lucky and don't dare your fate without a condom".

[lcjtsd]

Here we go again. Someone has to start flamethrow . The ORIGINAL questions was "Is the use of condoms in the lifestyle not really used much?". We give our reason why we prefer not to use them and someone has to leave the original question and make an issue of our post. We know the risk. That's why we choose to play with people like ourselves ie. married a while, kids the same age etc.

sereneiders, if you want to talk about the risk of STD's and condom use, there are other threads dedicated for that. If you would like to stay to the original intent of this post all you have to do is say that you prefer condoms for whatever reason you have. You didn't have to quote us and then start preaching about STD's.

We happen to like "sloppy seconds" and "creampies". How would we enjoy this with everyone covered up? So, by sticking to the original intent of this thread, we posted our reason for not using condoms.

Some prefer condoms, some don't, so what?

[looking2swing]

Is the use of condoms in the lifestyle not really used much?

I have seen several instances when couples swing and do not use protection. However, when my husband and I engage in sexual intercourse with others, a condom is required. I have learned to bring extras with me because many times the other person does not have one. We have not been in the lifestyle long enough to really notice if there has been a decline in the use of condoms. I can understand that couples bond with others and feel comfortable to engage in activities without condoms, but for the most part, I feel that condoms need to be used.

[tribbles]

We are still new enough to require them but at many clubs I see a lot more bareback than I expected.
And hear of more bareback attempts from a single bi female I am friends with.

[dragonblade]

Being new to the lifestyle, I couldn't imagine not using condoms. I don't believe hubby and I would change our minds about it either. Maybe it's cause we're young, and maybe it's because we've always been taught use protection, but I couldn't see ever living with myself the fact that I got something from my "extracarricular activities". My child grow up without me? No way. Break my parents hearts because I wanted to play au natural and got HIV? No, thanks. To each their own I guess, but I'll always reserve bareback for my husband and husband only.

[HAPPYCAMPERS80]

When We Meet New People We Require Condoms, However When We Are In Our Trusted Group Everything Is Bareback And So Much More Enjoyable.
One Of The Rules In Our Group Is Tht Every Six Months The Couple Who Are A Nurse And Doctor In Real Life Takes Ablood Sample And Checks For Any Type Of Disease.
We Have A Group Of 8 Couples That Meet Twice A Month, And Have A Game Of Suprise Wednesday Every Week