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judax

Why are non-swingers 'Vanilla'?

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We would love to know how and why non-swingers are called Vanillas. Does anyone know the origin of it?

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I have to admit that I don't know for sure but my guess is that a lot of folks consider a vanilla flavor to be somewhat boring. Hence, a vanilla couple must lead a boring sex life, compared to swingers, of course.

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A few entries from the Urban Dictionary:

 

1) Unexciting, normal, conventional, boring.

 

2) The opposite of kinky. Not in any way involved with BDSM.

 

3) Straight down the line, boring sex, with as little foreplay as possible; the kind of sex that the Catholic Church want you to have, if you have to have sex at all, and if you're married.

 

4) Normal and boring sex. Used by more sexually adventurous people kinked to describe the dull sex had by the unimaginative.

 

5) A word used to describe someone with little inclination to do anything spontaneous or exciting, either sexually, or in general every day life. A vanilla person will not be open to try new and exciting things, instead preferring to remain dull, innocent and safe.

 

These are pretty good definitions of Vanilla in my mind. :) I'm so glad that I like other flavors. :)

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Think of sex as vanilla ice cream...it's ice cream so it's good in itself. But when you add some flavor and a little toppings, you get an ice cream sundae...similar to the variety or spice added to a sex life of those in this lifestyle. :)

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Thanks guys, you made my day and settled a discussion. But it is amazing that a description of people makes it all over the world in such a short time as swinging is a modern phenomena. We use it in South Africa where we come from as well.

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The term vanilla is often used to describe anything that does not vary from what is considered "normal," the average or in the mainstream in a number of settings, not just swinging. Things that are plain, bland, boring and lack excitement are often called vanilla.

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Thanks guys, you made my day and settled a discussion. But it is amazing that a description of people makes it all over the world in such a short time as swinging is a modern phenomena. We use it in South Africa where we come from as well.

 

We have been using the term "vanilla" for over 10 years, to describe non swingers.

 

And swinging is not a new thing; documented swing groups go back to the WWII era.

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We have been using the term "vanilla" for over 10 years, to describe non swingers.

 

And swinging is not a new thing; documented swing groups go back to the WWII era.

 

Not to mention the Roman Empire.

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It's a somewhat demeaning word, meaning we (swingers) have better sex.

 

Do we? I guess we think we do...

 

I heard it first from the BDSM lifestyle and it was used in a demeaning manner there. Never cared for the diminishing tone of the word, but understood it in that the BDSM crowd gets a lot of shit for their preferences from we (in their minds) of the vanilla crowd.

 

BTW, I'm not a BDSM aficionado. I did photography for a local BDSM group.

 

I have to admit that I use the term sometimes, even though vanilla is one of my favorite flavors of ice cream, right up there with real maple. Of course there is vanilla vanilla, as in artificial vanilla flavor compared to real vanilla bean. Try vanilla made with real bean and you'll discover artificial vanilla's real progenitor.

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