Etiquette at parties/clubs - more than one partner

Hi all

We have been told by quite experienced friends that it is not ok to hook up with more than one partner a night at a party or club, as it leaves the first person you are with feeling "used". This is coming from fwb we are quite close to, but not exclusive with at all.

That advice doesnt feel quite right to me, as during the course of a long night,you can have sex with one person or couple, followed by a period of socialising etc, and then an opportunity naturally arises with other people. It's not a case of trying to run up a high score or rush to another partner, things can just evolve naturally.

Any thoughts?

Its not OK to impose your constraints on someone else. Your "friends" expressed an opinion, one that we find both limiting and controlling. I think it depends upon your refraction period. Maybe your "friend" can only get up and off once a night. If you can do better than that, why not? This is sex as recreation, if you can go more than once, you can have even MORE recreation. I fail to see why you would not.

Thanks padoc, I think 'controlling' might actually be the problem. Other issues coming up such as shaming us for choosing play partners that don't meet their standards/ideas of attractiveness...

I'm guessing here, but it sounds like your friend is the one who has a problem with you hooking up with someone other than them.

In my experience, people have all kinds of different responses. Personally, I've never objected to the idea of a couple we hooked up with finding someone else later that night.

I'm not sure where your friend got this idea, or why they think it's good advice, but I would respectfully argue with the point.

When we go to the club we oftentimes have a couple that we plan on meeting there and having fun somewhat early. Afterwards, my wife will troll the environs looking for another couple or a man for MFM. Our friends know our pattern, have no problems with it.

And if the advice were true, wouldn't that preclude orgies?

You should play the way you want to, as long as the people you are with are fine with it.

I have to agree that your friends "advice" is not very good. You and your partner are free to do as you choose. If you are lucky enough to find more than one situation that works for you in an evening, go for it. If someone judges you for what you do, that's their problem.

The fun thing about the lifestyle, as opposed to monogamous dating, is that I don’t care who or what our playmates do next after we play. They are free agents, free to do what they please. Not my issue.