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Thread: Protection

  1. #1

    Default Protection

    I hear so many talk about protection is a must with penetration. But i don’t get why it’s a must when you do oral with no protection and can get something just as easily that way. That confuses me as to why some are so adamant about protection but will do oral without any. New to this. Any feedback is appreciated. You cannot tell by getting to know another couple or by looking at someone If they have something.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Protection

    Like many things these decisions are not completely logical or rational.

    But off the top of my head, a few of the things that likely impact these choices:

    1. Not all STIs have the same severity.
    2. Not all STI transmission vectors have the same rates of infection.
    3. Not all STI transmission rates are impacted by barriers the same
    4. Pleasure is multifaceted, and highly influenced by the expectation of what an act 'should' be.

    Re 1. - HIV is not the same as gonorrhea is not the same as syphilis is not the same as HSV (Serious potential health impact and incurable, Serious potential health impact, curable with effort, Serious potential health impact, easily curable, Negligible health impact, incurable).

    Re 2. - Transmission rates vary for different acts and different STIs, ie: HIV is almost impossible to transmit via oral, gonorrhea can be transmitted via oral but is treatable.

    Re 3. - Barriers work really well for some STIs (HIV, gonorrhea, syphilis) and really poorly for others (HSV, HPV).

    Re 4. - How do you derive pleasure? I'd likely hazard that the answer to that question will be different (both subtly and drastically) for everyone you ask. If a key source of pleasure from oral for someone is the taste, smell, sensations they derive from using their mouth on another's genitals, then that's going to impact heavily on whether they would consider using barriers.

    Ultimately though, the risk reward calculations we all make are our own. Having the conversation with someone before playing and not assuming you are on the same page is the only way you can be assured you're not in for an unpleasant surprise. If you cannot find common ground, there is no shame in walking away from the encounter. Finally, never let anyone browbeat you into something you are not comfortable with.


  3. #3
    Swingers Board Addict Fi86's Avatar
    Single female

    Default Re: Protection

    You raise a point. Oral often gets forgotten about or treated as a lesser risk. As the post above says what can get transmitted from oral and infection rates differ from penetration, but unprotected oral is still a risk many don't consider the same way they do for intercourse.

    When I was younger I used to insist on condoms a lot more than I do now for penetration but I never gave a second thought to unprotected oral. Now I'm also generally willing to go bareback for penetration, which I am aware is risky and I won't do it for anyone. But as I'm willing to do oral and sometimes kiss without barrier protection I no longer always request condoms for penetration either.

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