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  1. #1

    Default First MFM coming up. Any advice?

    We have been dabbling in the lifestyle for 3 or 5 years now and so far have only met couples for soft swap and girl play. Mrs Shy has only had sex with Mr Shy and he has only had sex with one other girl in HS.

    We ran into a guy we used to play with as part of a couple. Havent seen him in close to two years. He is currently single. So we were talking to eachother later and mentioned inviting him as a third. We had always played well together, had good chemistry, and trusted him. After we met them for the last time we actually considered letting them take our full swap"cherry". The female half of the couple was hot and even hotter in bed but I always said she had "crazy eyes" Anyway, they broke up about a year ago. They were never married. She moved cross country with her daughter to be closer to her family. Its over. So, not really looking for comments on if this is a good idea or not. We have made plans to get together in the near future. We have an excellent BS meter and trust our gut. He is a great guy and we have made plans to move forward.

    Big concerns are for Mrs Shy:
    a) She has never had sex with anyone else.
    b) She had a quite conservative upbringing.
    c) She is super sexy and enjoys sex very much!

    We know our guy is respectful. He knows her back story. She wants to do the MFM. She just isn't sure if will be able to have sex with him. We will definately give her plenty of attention and get her worked up. She knows she is up for plenty of oral giving and recieving. Lots of touching, kissing, fondling, and wants to try a DP and possibly a DV. She just isnt sure when its there in front of her if she will be able to do it and if she does, how will she feel about it later.

    We wouldn't try this with just anyone. We jnow this guy and have played before. So the guy and pushy, disrespectful behavior won't be a problem. I also think that she has a special part of her that likes the fact that she has only had sex with one man. She said no, but I think there is a part of her that doesn't want me to see how nasty she really is or can be. I (him) introduced the idea of swinging. The running joke was that I wanted to see her get it from two guys. I think she is hot as fuck. She is the woman I married, best friend, mother of my children, and love of my life (yea, sappy but true). In my case its true, everyman wants a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom. I just want to help her release her inner bad girl.

    Just don't want to open a can of worms (or Pandoras box) that she will have trouble coping with.

    Just sort of a side note on our style of play: we have several fantasies (4somes and 3somes). We always approach playtime knowing our own and our partners limits. Never go in with a script or scenario in mind. We have been with another where he was the director and not much fun. We prefer to set our boundaries out there and go with the flow. Let things happen organically and go where the heat of the moment takes us. So same plan for this outing, start playing and let her tell us where she wants to go as the evening progresses.
    You want me to whack a guy, off a guy, whack off a guy?
    -Peter Griffin

  2. #2

    Default Re: First MFM coming up. Any advice?

    In my humble opinion, I think you've found the perfect third!

    In fact, if I were you, I'd send him a link to this thread so he knows exactly where you're coming from.

    If I were him, I'd feel honored..., and very, very excited too!

    Good luck to you both and enjoy!!!!!

  3. #3

    Default Re: First MFM coming up. Any advice?

    We had our first MFm experience two days ago. We are new to swinging and have basically jumped in with both feet. I would not recommend this to anyone but in our situation it has worked incredibly well.

    As far as advice, if you have any issues with jealousy, realize that your wife is probably thinking more about you than anything else. It was incredible for me to hear afterword how much she was and how deliberate some things she did were for my benefit. Also having a guy that she is ultimately comfortable with is key. My wife has had immediate chemistry with this guy and I've let her have a night of fun alone with him prior to us doing this.

    I traded emails with the guy before and I actually kind of changed my mindset a bit. I tried not to think of it so much as going out with my wife but two frat brothers taking a hot sorority chick out. Kind of helped me detach enough to let go.

    Before we got down and dirty we had some time to get comfortable with each other. We had dinner together and hit a strip club before we decided to back to the hotel room. This was key as it let the chemistry deveop and let everyone know it was OK. She was holding hands with both of us and it was great to see some of the reactions. She was taking turns kissing both of us in the club and we freaked out an Asian striper which will be a funny memory for a long time.

    So we decided to go back to the room and it did not take much convincing. A few pieces of advice for then. Use a mirror! My wife is very visual and if yours is to she will love having a mirror to watch the sandwich. This is her single greatest after image. She says she just keeps daydreaming about looking in the mirror and seeing herself between the two of us. We actually stood for most of the time and used a chair for some. This was great because it allowed her to turn back and forth between us really easily and give and get equal attention. It was really sweet taking turns alternately screwing her. It definitely helped me take breaks and last longer because it was soo hot!

    Since then we've been screwing like rabbits and planning our next night out. Soo many ideas to play out. The unfortunate thing is that our friend is from out of town and only in for work for the next few months. I think it will not be enough time to play out the scenes we have already thought about.

    Hope this helps in some way. please ask if you have any questions as if you both love each other this will make your wife feel like a sex goddess and it will all come back to you!

  4. #4

    Default Re: First MFM coming up. Any advice?

    Shy_Couple, it sounds like you two have a good understanding of everyone's desires and expectations. That's great. Also, it sounds like he is great guy to explore a MFM experience with. Like Visexual wrote, he should be honored! I sure would be, considering she's only had sex with her husband up to this point.

    As for the concerns, they are totally understandable. Regarding her conservative upbringing, how does she view sexual exploration now at this point in her life? I grew up in a very conservative family, and I did have issues with sexual exploration and guilt in my teens and lower 20's, but I no longer hold the same religious beliefs. My perspective has changed now I don't feel an ounce of guilt. I also want to point out that some people continue to believe in the same religions as they grew up in, but somehow form a liberal opinion on sexuality, and that gives them a perspective that makes room for sexual freedom and exploration.

    Is she concerned that she is super sexy and enjoys sex very much?

  5. #5

    Default Re: First MFM coming up. Any advice?

    Sounds like a plan to me. He knows how she feels about things. So long as he's willing to stop if she says stop or go if she says go, then all should be good. You guys can go as far as you are both comfortable. Maybe it all won't happen the first time out (after all it's been a while and you may need to rebuild a bit) but if this guy is willing to play then I'd go with it and see what happens.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  6. #6

    Default Re: First MFM coming up. Any advice?

    go for it. this is how my first mfm encounter started and it has continued periodically for over 12 yrs. ( and its still great)

  7. #7

    Default Re: First MFM coming up. Any advice?

    I loved my first MFM and it was our "cherry popping" into full swap. If he is what you describe, as our first MFM guy way, she will be fine. if he is ok with "no means no", it will work out fine.

    You never know, she may take to it like a fish to water and you will not be able to control her want for it.

    I know, its me that way. I really only like MFMMMM now

    Let her take baby steps. full swap is a big step for many. let her take the lead and do what she wants. you might want to talk to the guy first and just let him know, or let her know again, that its on her terms.

    But please, please, please and this is important. If you start getting bad feelings, they both have to know if you say stop, they have to stop, even if she wants to continue.

    You do not want to get pissed off. if that is not an issue, let her have her fun and enjoy the ride.

    Good luck!!


  8. #8

    Default Re: First MFM coming up. Any advice?

    Sounds like a great set-up and I wish you a very hot time.

    I haven't seen an answer to oyur concern about her feelings afterwards. The change in who she will be after she has sex with your friend, ie no longer can say she's only been with you, might be too into it and then have to explain etc.

    First the part about having multiple partners. She can and should just get comfortable with that. Grieve for that loss so to speak. Also talk about it with her. Talk about the new her, that will emerge on the other side. A women that has enjoyed hopefully without guilt another level of her sexuality. She will be a new woman and that can be celebrated.

    You can also talk about what you'd wish for her. You hope she has a wonderful time. You hope she knows that the more she enjoys herself the more she lets go the more excited it will make you. After all, this is an opportunity for you both to experience something new and exciting together. Its a journey, just be sure to continually support her in that journey.

    Be careful how you joke or talk about it afterward, BTW has it happened, if so I know many of us would love to hear how it went, be sensitive to her, don't make her out to be a slut, focus on the stuff you we amazed she did and say that over and over. tell her you love her and tell her how radiant she is and was during and after.

    Good luck,

  9. #9

    Default Re: First MFM coming up. Any advice?

    My wife and I just had our first MFM a bit over a week ago. It was an incredible experience for both of us. Don't be too surprised if you enjoy it as much as she does. There is some thing very special about sharing her first experience like this with you. Going in I expected her to have a great time with him and I was not disappointed. Us guys laid one each side of her and touched her for a while. I was next to her when he had sex with her and could see and feel him thrusting in her and her getting warmer. What a smile on her face!

    As for after, she will be the same woman you have always loved. The two of you will have experienced some thing very exciting. It will bring a realism to your fantasy that will make them even more exiting.

    No script is the way to go, let it happen and take your time to enjoy.

  10. #10

    Default Re: First MFM coming up. Any advice?

    I say give it a go and just try to re-assure her that it is ok with you. The third seems like the perfect match, you both know him well, played before and he's respectable, have fun and please let us know how it went.

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