Preferences and Differences in Sex Activity LS vs Home

After a rather frank, detailed open discussion at a recent party it occurred to me that many players preferences change with swap partners vs home with their SO.

Some due to living arrangements or children at home and will be much less vocal.

But a wide range of differences in sex play when at the club vs home.

I was a bit surprised that several women prefer to see their husband/boyfriend cum when giving a hand/blowjob or cum in them at home but prefer a male playmate at the club to cum in their mouth, or on their breast, tummy or butt. The biggest reason given was it was easier and less mess to deal with.....swallow, tissue or baby wipe. Avoiding the cold wet spot. Although I didn’t really see the immediate difference when some of these women squirt during sex play.

Additionally a varied amount of activity done at the club but not at home. Some for obvious reasons (moresomes, bi activity, fetishes etc) some activities were surprising. Many of the ladies stated the most like taking the upper hand and totally ravishing their playmate to give them a hot unforgettable experience.

I will also say that the women, when in a group we’re far more graphic, detailed and explicit then the men were.

So question is; what activities do you do or would do only with swing partners that you wouldn’t or couldn’t at home. And is there a difference with swing partners you know well verse someone you just met and getting together the first time.

Admittedly I seldom identify as a Swinger any longer, having being seduced by the dark side and generally identify as Polyamorous these days, so my experience is through that lens.

But, I find I am a subtly (and sometimes dramatically) different person depending on the relationship and partner. Things I have no interest in with one person, becomes surprisingly important with another. This extends to types of food, activities, and yes, sex. Obviously the core of who I am remains constant, but I'm consistently surprised by how different the "Me" reflected back to me from different relationships can be.

So, I guess to answer your question, there is little that I view as not being on the table, it's more that there are things I just don't know I have an interest in because I haven't met the partner who brings them out of me yet. The exciting thing is when I discover something new about myself, and when that discovery spurs a conversation/exploration with one of my existing partners that expands the dimension of that existing relationship as well.

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. what activities do you do or would do only with swing partners that you wouldn’t or couldn’t at home. .

.. I find I am a subtly (and sometimes dramatically) different person depending on the relationship and partner. Things I have no interest in with one person, becomes surprisingly important with another. This extends to types of food, activities, and yes, sex..

Very interesting and true points you make. This has been touched on before, usually in the context of either having a spouse's swing partner do something that bothers you or teaches you.

For my wife and I, each of our play partners (and each combination of threes and fours) brings out something different in us. (For context, we play within a closed group of couples.) We strive to maximize our pleasure with each person, so we've picked up on the physical and emotional cues that allow us to do so. Examples - my wife is in love with one of the men, so there is a connection on that level; one of the wives and I have an intense love of theater and classical music, we get together for "dates" to go to shows and concerts while the sex is quick, intense (but satisfying) afterwards; my wife rarely has anal sex with me but enjoys it with a couple of other guys. These are the most obvious things, but as a_d_xxx says, it can be subtle.

We have been told that we should do porn, that our style is energetic, uninhibited and dirty as hell. But at home, it's way more sensuous, slow, less sexy and more 2 people melding. Basically 180 degrees out.

We have been told that we should do porn, that our style is energetic, uninhibited and dirty as hell. But at home, it's way more sensuous, slow, less sexy and more 2 people melding. Basically 180 degrees out.

Yes. I agree.

In our earlier years we were the same. Not that we didn’t get wild at home together it was more one on one...more passion....not raw sex every day.

It also is the common comment or experience that was discussed. Including activities that couples do not do together at home for various agreed on reasoning....like/dislikes between the two of them.

When we are away from home, the bulk of my playtime is with two men or another couple. I prefer to be the center of attention although I am happy to help another woman fully pleasure her man.

Our starting point, at least the one we officially site, for swinging was MFM. I didn’t notice it but my husband was quick to point out afte the first few that with each of them, I either swallowed their cum or, when they came elsewhere, went down on them and finished the job even further. Now, it wasn’t that I hadn’t swallowed with my husband but, you know, it’s more of when the urge strikes, maybe every 5th or 6th time or if its strictly a bj situation. I’m not sure why the change with other guys but, when I thought about it, he was definitely right and it probably remains true even several years later.

We have been told that we should do porn, that our style is energetic, uninhibited and dirty as hell. But at home, it's way more sensuous, slow, less sexy and more 2 people melding. Basically 180 degrees out.

It's true for us as well, but not just between my wife and I, it's two people alone together able to establish an undistracted, intimate connection. In our group we have all play alone M-F occasionally for just that reason.

Only once did it bother me, when both fully clothed, my wife took his hand and they walked away.

I'm too inhibited when it comes to swing partners that I don't know personally and that is the reason why I prefer to have boyfriends that I know and can trust apart from my SO. I also noticed that I feel shy whenever my SO is around while doing it with another guy (even with a bf), considering that I enjoy exhibitionism. It only works when he will join us in the room and I'm already fired up and in the middle of it.

Right now, I have a more active sex life away from home, with my bf than my SO, not that I love him less nor that he isn't capable but I have a higher libido than him (which he recognizes) and my bf matches mine. He is single and mono with me. I'm his gf to his friends and family. We meet a few times in a week and similar to what JandKinBoise described as,

"We have been told that we should do porn, that our style is energetic, uninhibited and dirty as hell. But at home, it's way more sensuous, slow, less sexy and more 2 people melding..."

Another possible reason for the difference in activities/sexual dynamics at home and outside, aside from our levels of libido, is the degree of protectiveness of my partners. My SO is overly protective of me, while bf cares too but is more adventurous and tend to experiment and try riskier activities, moreso when we were out of town and the need for social inhibition is nil. We started to swing as a couple too on some occasions (which is independent from SO but he approves of).

In our world of being a poly family, I guess that one could say that for us our lifestyle sexual activity is at home.

.. When my GF is fucking other guys she becomes a completely different person.

Thinking about this one more since it came back up, when I am in a swing situation and especially so if it is a sex club or couples club, I’m really there just to have sex and consequently I’m more of a nasty girl, more likely to put on “show” for my husband or whoever is watching. Another example is same room vs different room swaps. Our first several were same room. When we tried different room, I was basically more of a nasty girl, allowed the guy to do more, did more myself, was far more verbal, etc

For us the only sex acts we have done with swing partners that we haven’t done with each other are the ones that we can’t alone!

We can’t really have her bent over getting fucked doggie by another guy at the same time her face is buried between his ladies legs tongue fucking her and my cock is in the other ladies throat. That stuff just doesn’t happen alone. Sure does in the lifestyle though if you want it to.

One thing that is always the difference between us alone and us with others so far is there has always been heavy girl on girl play by her choice and because that is the situation we look for. That is and always has been her biggest attraction to the lifestyle. Being able to be who and what she is has been nothing, but a positive experience for both of us and our relationship so far.

As for how the play has been different with repeat people compared to one offs we have seen things progress and get a little more adventurous with people we played with more then once, but by far the most intense, exciting, hot and uninhibited experience so far for us in the lifestyle was our first couple four-way that was a complete one and done.