mandj

Wow, ya'all have hit several of my own thoughts right on the head. I am the type of person who will go out of my way to make sure everyone is pleased, including something like this that i am not sure about. I am not sure if my hubby slept with this woman or not, i just know that he is interested in doing so. I have given the details of the encounters in colorado as they were told to me. My hubby told me that this other woman is just a lonely married woman, who saw him in the hotel lobby, overheard his room number and called him, then showed up when he refused to go for a drink... hence how they met. (dang even to me that sounds a bit off, but i will believe him)... I sometimes think i have the word fool written on my forehead but in the end it all comes down to trusting him and what he tells me. If at a later time i learn something different then i will probably be dealing with a whole different set of emotions. For now, the encounters in colorado have ended and we will be concentrating on the here and now.... not the unseen somewhere else. He will still have to go there for work and i will still be a huge mess of emotions while he is there but i am trusting him not to do anything, cause if i think about it that is all i can really do... that is all any of us in this lifestyle can do... trust and love... Thank you all for taking the time to post your thoughts and feelings, they have helped me say the things i needed to say, and cross a bridge i was scared to step onto. I really can't thank ya'all enough.... mandj

Hello again and thank you all for the advice, the answers to the question are... He did not seek her out, it was the other way around. She knows he is there cause he stays at the same hotel and she knows the people who own it... so she is told... she called him one night and asked him out for a drink, he refused and then showed up at his room... they sat and talked for a few hours and he got to know her... He was interested at the time but didn't cause he wanted to talk to me about it. No i have never met or spoken with this other woman... perhaps that would make a huge difference. Think i will bring that up when we talk about this... We did discuss it several times and i gave him permission thinking that i would not feel bad or insecure about the situation, cause i am not with the other woman in the couple and i wanted him to have some fun while out of town, instead of just work, and i love him, his pleasure is important to me... I am bi but not allowed to travel with him, his company does not allow it. I would love to meet this other woman if he is interested in her then she must be a good person, perhaps form a freindship with her someday... ya never know what could happen...

Hello again... We are a couple who is swinging with another couple and have enjoyed it immensely. My problem arose when i agreed to allow my hubby to sleep with a woman that he has talked with in another state when he is working down there. I am not jealous of the couple we swing with, but knowing that the possibility of him sleeping with this woman completely freaked me out. We discussed it many times, and yep I encouraged him to do it, thinking that we are swinging with a couple and I have no jealous feelings there. But then he went to the other state and took condoms with him, I was ok till that evening and he went out. My imagination went crazy, thinking of all the things he was doing. I'm not sure if the feelings I have are jealousy or insecurity... cause my thoughts were sure revolving around is she better than me... Guess my questions are these... How come I am jealous or insecure over this woman and not the woman in the couple, and would it be right and ok to now deny him of this encounter after i encouraged him to go for it???