TFinney76

For the productive input offered I say many thanks. I spoke to my wife last night and ended up in a 3+ hour conversation. It's apparent through our thoughts and everyone who offered on this board that a lack of communication and honesty is a major issue. It's odd but the more open we thought we became the less transparent we were with each other. She accepted responsibility and agreed with my demand she inform all uninformed of what's gone on. She's unsure whether or not any of the other halves know but admitted to putting her desires above their relationships. She swears up and down she had not had sex with anyone else since we were together. I tend to believe her. She showed a couple texts from after the first couple times we participated where she said it got a bit odd to fuck other guys after being married so long. Her excuse for not telling me was a bit flimsy as she thought I was ok with it. Again, communication failed on both parts as I've told her I love watching her get fucked by other guys without hearing intimate details. Problem is that it's come at the expense of other relationships and I had no idea. The other explanation was that she provided no details due to fear I would not be ok with what she wanted and would feel differently of her. Condoms have always been used during our time and it's always pulling out and at most cumming on her tits or pubic area. Consistent with J's account they always used condoms which was a relief. I was surprised though when she talked about always trying to arrange a gang bang, having everyone cum on her face, getting urinated on, amongst other things. Again a lack of communication as I'm fine with all of it even though I have to work to watching my wife get pissed on. A big question of mine was how and the hell did this even get started. The irony is, while out of town, she met with a contractor and designed a great bar area to be built in our guest house which doubled as an entertainment room (gift to me). After completed she invited people over to check it out and hours and drinks later was alone with "L" who we had yet to get together with (and still haven't) him and his wife as they're separated. She said they skinny dipped and she fucked him. The worst part is she has actively avoided us getting together when L and his wife have been around because he's black, attractive, apparently very large, they have great chemistry, and she's afraid I would have gotten jealous or upset which is far from the truth. Anyhow I read a lot of missing details in responses so I tried to be as detailed as possible. Bottom line is we're done for now and I wait anxiously over how my wife's message will be taken. I'm embarrassed for her and feel bad for everyone else involved even though I had no clue or conducted myself inappropriately. Again many thanks for all productive advice and encouragement. On a couple side notes. I've yet to explore this site too much or the world outside of my neighborhood "friends". When the dust settles does anyone have recommendations on where to go for unattached, professional, "every day people" who specialize or prefer different sex? Specifically some of the things my wife mentioned like getting gang banged by black guys, getting pissed on, or gang blowjobs? And does anyone do unprotected group sex? I'm majorly apprehensive because of the risks. Are there groups who require testing and practice regularly together? My wife wants to get came in during a gang bang and I want to be the last to finish.

Thank you for the response and I agree. J's take was that I was ok with it per her but wanted no details. In a way I may have confused her between telling her I love watching her get fucked and that she can play along, even though I assumed there were females as well, when i was out of town. Ultimately you're right and I need to talk to her no matter how awkward it will be. Ultimately I need to be forward with things I want as well. Hope it goes well as our relationship on a daily interacting basis has been better than great.

Hello everyone. The short version is long but I hope I can get some advice on a few questions. My wife and I have lived in the same community for years. Initially we, through subtle and not so subtle hints, thought of a couple of our friends to be in the lifestyle. I never gave it much thought as we both brushed off the subtle and unsubtle advances. After some talking and thought we ventured outside our bounds, everything came together, and we had a great time. Our group which consists of 8 couples is great as we only occasionally partake and get no pressure for it. Things changed over the 4th though as I lost track of my wife at a party in our community. Having to return home to get my phone I walked in on 3 of the men having sex with my wife. Initially only hearing it I shook off the initial shock, went into a neighboring room, and got off listening. It was a strange set of emotions after returning to the party as I loved it but felt betrayed by my wife and friends. Ultimately I waited till the next day and spoke with “J” as I consider him to be the closest friend involved. After embarrassment and apologies he basically begged not to tell his or the other guys wives as it was “out of bounds”. Only being casually involved in the lifestyle I understand but don’t understand as sex is sex to me at this point after the last year (monogamous prior). Is this common? Am I obligated through “the rules” as he called them to say something? The other part is slightly more complicated and muddy. During the conversation I inquired as to how often this has gone on as I’m not too big a fool. Turns out since the first time we got together my wife has been having sex with each guy, sometimes weekly, and more times than not at least two at a time. All while suspecting nothing (I travel roughly %25 of the year) and having no fall off in our sex life. Embarrassingly I like the thought more than dislike it. Knowing my wife I know she will most likely be standoffish, embarrassed, and a mess if I confront her and I don’t want to do that. Even with my understanding and getting off to it do I risk her shutting down all facets? That’s not a question of opinion but instead for those who have had similar experiences. Also, if I do confront her and it goes well is there a best approach for trying to get her to branch off into some of my desires? It’s odd as open we’ve become we still are so apprehensive to mention what we want to do and see. I’d love to be involved in a gang bang with her where everyone cums in her and I get to go last amongst other things. Any input but especially from those with similar experiences would be appreciated.