Hi I'm pretty new to this lifestyle I've tried it before with my husband but I wanted some advice from more experienced couples if what he did was break the rules or am I overreacting. So in 2013 we went to a swingers party and I liked it and so did he, we didn't interact but just observed.
His fantasy was for the longest time to see me with another male so I said I will agree only if we do everything together. We found a nice man and two separate times I had fun with him while my husband watched; my husband didn't want to join, just to watch, which was fine with the other guy.
After that, 2 weeks went by and where my husband works they hired a girl, he said he would like to have fun with her. At first I said I don't think it would be a good idea to play where you work but that's up to him. I told him let me know when you want to meet up and we will, and I said I will not join just watch and he said no problem.
Three weeks went by and I asked him if he was still interested to have fun with that girl from work? He was kind of evading my questions saying he is tired, coming home from work and just ignoring me. Later that week I found out that he went out with her a couple of times supposedly for drinks then I found out that he wanted to take her to a very expensive bar in NYC that I didn't even go to yet. So I confronted him about it and he denied it all but I had proof... I told him he is breaking the rules with the lifestyle that we both choose and that doesn't make me happy but he played it off as me being jealous.
Another week went by until another girl called me and said that my husband and the new hired girl are way too cozy together and that she wanted me to know but by then he had changed the password on an email that we had together. So I got into that email and saw all the emails they wrote to each other and a lot were about me being jealous and that he didn't know how to get away from me to be with her. Again, I confronted him about the girl and the emails and he got angry that I was spying on him while that email was ours together especially for talking to other people and not go behind each others backs. So I said I don't trust him no more and I quit being in this lifestyle.
So since then until a couple of days ago we haven't had sex with each other and I didn't stray or have sex with anyone else either. But now as we started having sex again he started talking about swingers and threesome again, so I'm a little nervous to start because I feel if I start again he will break the rules again.
Need advice to what to do. We have been married for 19 years now and I don't want to break my marriage.