WSB421

Napoleon has actually contributed something to my experience on this site, I just learned how to use the ignore feature!

This seems decisively answered, for the love of god even Padoc and Napoleon agree.

I'm not a sentence nazi, just disappointed that you can't even bother to lie well. Using the same sort of detailed statistical analysis that you have over the course of this thread, I've determined that not a single person reading it believes you've ever conversed with a woman, much less been involved with three at the same time. You're wasting everyone's time here, perhaps you could waste your own in another place? People come here for answers and to provide real feedback on their own experiences for the benefit of this community. Please take your inane ramblings elsewhere.

Architecture is detail oriented work, I would hesitate to enter any building designed by someone who cannot even master sentence structure.

I think Napoleon may just have a complex...

or much much more depending on the bottle...

This sounds like a situation to pump the brakes hard on. I think you and your wife need to come to a mutual understanding to avoid the feelings of jealousy and resentment that will certainly creep up in a situation that you've predetermined to be unacceptable to you. The fact that the other man is a friend is another potential red flag I'm not sure you've given serious enough consideration to. What if it doesn't go well? Can you trust him not to tell other people, even if he's had a few drinks? If your wife has mindblowing sex with him, are you ready to feel compersion for her or will that create awkwardness between you and your friend? What if you don't want them to do it again but they both want to? I believe the adage around here that it's easier to make friends of swingers than vice versa. I understand the dilemna though, seems like a first experience with someone you know could make it less stressful for all concerned and I certainly have some female friends I'd love to sleep with but in my mind, probably a bad idea in the long term.

I'm sorry you're in this predicament and welcome you back to these boards; your voice and sage advice have been sorely missed. This seems like something beyond a can of worms with no easily identifiable upside. You are right to tread carefully, I believe if I were you I'd avoid bringing the conversation up again. Does your BIL feel the same about you as you do about him, platonic? This seems like a risky subject to broach with a SIL, especially alone, late and drunk. My list of concerns: 1. Your sister was angry and suspicious about you and her husband getting hammered and staying up all night talking. What is the root of that? As in love with your sister as he may be, she apparently thinks there is some sort of attraction or connection between you and your BIL or why the suspicions? Would he tell her if he was attracted to you? 2. Who was this person who revealed to your BIL that you were in the LS? How could that subject have come up organically in conversation? Why would your BIL not shut down that line of conversation immediately? I would not be interested in having a conversation with ANYONE about any aspect of my SIL's sex life. 3. If the person who told your BIL was comfortable enough to tell him that you and Mr. Intuition were in the LS and Mr. Intuition is correct that he saw profile pictures on a website then it is reasonable to assume he mentioned the site where he saw them to your BIL. Hard to imagine your BIL would have participated in this conversation and not asked what made this person believe you were in the LS. If the pics you posted on this site are similar to what your BIL may have seen on a website prior to the night of drinking he certainly wasn't going to be less attracted to you then he was before to put it mildly. 4. Although I suppose there is no ideal time to discuss this with a SIL, choosing to do so when he did makes me a little suspicious of the intent. You and J stay up drinking while everyone else goes to sleep. After drinking to the point of slurring words, talking for hours and having physical contact at least in the form of arm-wrestling he brings up the subject of you being in the LS. "I knew it!" he said, "Yeah you guys are a couple of freaks, aren't ya?" he teased. "I heard about you two." Sounds like he's been thinking about it a bit to me, bringing it up at the grayest possible moment... How do you know your sister is completely against swinging? Your BIL may be of a different mindset. I hope I’m wrong about your BIL being attracted to you. Even if he does have a big mouth it is hard to imagine him saying anything. How does he broach the subject with your sister without having to explain (1) Where he heard the rumor? (2) Why would he want to discuss your SIL’s sex life? (3) Why didn’t you tell me this immediately after the conversation was had? (4) Why would you bring this up to my sister and especially alone when you’d both been drinking heavily? That seems like just the start of a list of questions he wouldn’t enjoy answering. As always, I hope all turns out well for you and Mr. Intuition.

I don't understand why it is so difficult to produce a good show about sex, the mainstream templates are so obvious. You send four couples to an exotic location to work on something in their sexual relationship than has been ailing them. With the help of the other couples and the therapists/counselors at the location they improve communication and expand their sexual boundaries to a degree and at a pace the couple is comfortable with. Sexual Fantasy Island, you'd use most of the money licensing Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing" for the theme. If anyone from Playboy Channel is reading you can PM me for where to send my check.

My wife and her friends talk details but I never have and none of my male friends have ever gone into much detail either. My experience has been that female friends are quicker to voice details than men by quite a stretch.

I'm going to call it a successful failure; a failure in that we did not go to the club. It was a successful failure in that I used what I'd learned on this site to make the decision that we weren't ready to go. We never did quite have "the talk" prior to going out and I decided our communication needs to improve before we put ourselves in that situation. Newbies are one thing, newbies who haven't communicated clearly before going to the club are a disaster waiting to happen. A disaster that would likely put a damper on others' evenings too. I'm certain that in our case a first club experience that was a bad experience would also be our last experience at the club. Better to wait until we're ready, if ever, than set ourselves up for a bad situation out of impatience and slam the door on this notion forever.

I've been on these boards long enough to know that the best mindset to go in with is to expect a fun evening out with your SO and nothing more. This is our intention should we decide to go when we discuss in more detail tomorrow. Topics I'd considered: - Establishing a code word if one of us is uncomfortable with someone in the vicinity so we can move along quickly. - Establishing a code word if one of us is particularly drawn to someone or a couple we meet - Establishing our ground rules and the limits of what we're willing to engage in on our first visit, we don't want to be overwhelmed in the environment and swept up in the energy only to eventually do something we aren't ready for. - Finding a way to talk to other people/couples without leading them on as I don't believe we're ready for much if anything in the way of playing with others yet. Hoping some other couples might entertain the notion of a conversation about how the LS has affected their relationship even if the conversation won't lead to sex, at least tomorrow. What else should be addressed prior to our first club visit? Thank you in advance for your thoughts

Cinnamon, I'm in a similar situation. My wife wants to perhaps participate in some LS activity and then when the calendar comes out... not so much. I think what Luvin originally wrote was some swinging tough love, which was of course still intended as love.

We've been in the talking stages forever and don't participate in the LS but one thing we have agreed on is that there would need to be more than just a physical attraction. We would like to feel as though we were seducing or being seduced by another couple; no way that happens without engaging conversation.

Can't recall ever having been skinny dipping but it is part of a fantasy. In the fantasy Mrs. WSB and I each pick two vanilla couples we are friends with and somehow everyone agrees that skinny dipping is a good idea. Seems like one of the few scenarios where you would get a chance to see attractive vanilla friends nude. Also seems likely that some type of sex occurs. Nice to dream...