Thanks for all the great advice and information. I know that it's not a good situation. I love her and have been maybe too quick to give her room to explore while feeling bad about myself.
I don't actually want to be with anyone else. My time without her was anything but fun and pleasurable.
Before any of this we had talked about joining this lifestyle, but I'm starting to feel like that ship has sailed. I mean, if it's not fun and shared in some way, what's the point.