lcmim

bbbarnsworth. "The presence of unease doesn't mean it's not for you (I disagree with lcmim on this one point), but rather it's new and you don't have the tools for it yet." I was not trying to rule this out for them forever. The original question said to me that they were not ready now. The answer to the question has to come from within them. This might take a while. Like I said Life is a great teacher. I probably could have stated it better.

What to do depends entirely on the two of you as individuals and the nature of your marriage. For us this was never an issue. We have each had emotional attachments to play partners. Each of us kept it in perspective . The fact you are asking others makes me wonder if this is the road for you two. Not every swinger couple is so wired When this started happening we were well into 30+ years together and There were no doubts as to what we knew to expect from each other. Life is a great teacher.

What about a campaign poster? Mary on a rock in the koi pond? Maybe a Ukrainian flag? Irish Republic flag? NRA membership tag on the door? Or maybe BLM or "We back the badge?" I know folks with some pretty strong opinions on the Masons. Maybe Lodge decal on their car? Everyone who is worth talking to has a set of things that they believe, or support. That is what makes it interesting. My only requirement is that they are basically civil and if one of THOSE topics come up that they are able to explain why. (being logically consistent wins bonus points) If I feel inclined to state my why, then, I expect them to be as respectful to my musings as I have been to theirs. I will only learn about that if I do not prejudge them. I have gotten to the point that I do not really care if people agree with me. I am not responsible for their minds. If someone or some group were to actually materially impinge on my life or freedom, then we might just have to take it out back. Merely being of the opinion that my choice of politics or Religion is wrong or evil does not ruffle my feathers at all. They are entitled to be wrong.

Refusing contact beforehand because they openly express a view of any kind, says more about you than them.

That is an interesting one all right. I would want to know a lot more about the husband. The reason, or cause, of his apparently having already checked out is a huge factor.

You certainly will get sympathy here. I doubt you will get much action. Meet ups are not the Focus of this community. For that perhaps looking into the sites of our sponsors at the top of this page will serve you well. If you are looking for some suggestions on dealing with that, or just an opportunity to vent, then The Board may be of service. At any rate welcome aboard and Good Luck.

This just a hint from , just one, grandparent. WE consider our time watching the kids so that they can have some fun a very worthwhile thing. My wife gets a bang out of the fact that our daughter and her husband still spontaneously hold hands at the odd moments. Seeing our children behaving like they are in love after years and many of their own children make us both happy. It might not be all that difficult to get redo's from your folks. By the way we and they are under know illusions as to what causes the goofy grins after a time alone. I think that they now understand our goofy grins also.

How any of US felt has little, if any relation as to how YOU might feel. Look inside of yourself, be honest, make your best guess. If it is worth the risk, take it. This is one of those "You never know until you know." sort of things

You say this is new to you after several years. Is this divergence manifest in other areas of your life? It might be a good time to do an in depth assessment both individual and as a couple. Somehow this looks more like a symptom than the problem.

This is just a big THANK YOU to our members who are diligent in tagging messages as SPAM. This immediately removes those messages from view and send them to your moderators for proper disposition. The sooner they are hidden from view the better the list reads.

Even with my parameters I would say you are part of the community . People worry way too much about labels. The labels are important when trying to be precise, otherwise , not so much.

I would say "swinger" No. Quite possibly on that road. In the sexual freedom LS? Yes. Then again I tend to draw fairly narrow margins involving ENM with an actual spouse or long term life partner.

The responses will come from both sides of the gender divide. It is up to her to take what is of value.

Physically that ratio is about correct. I have used that argument when part of planning for group parties that wanted to exclude single guys. I am married , but the ratio is still good.I think some guys worry about the competition. Being realistic I know that a woman who is really in the mood can destroy 3 guys in a day. Another thing that I point out to the "married only" proponents is that we are all just one heartbeat away from being single, especially as we age.

Setting up something to be manipulative may sometimes work in business. The potential for disaster is too high, as well as dishonest. In this context. From what you have said David was NOT manipulating you. It has always sounded like David is a truly grounded person, for whom this was a genuine and acceptable option, and not someone playing you with the long game. I was just warning not to do this unless this was the case for the OP.