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I’m sorry if my first answer offended it was meant to be sarcastic. Jealousy is real. Only you know if you can deal with your feelings. When I got to fuck Honey I didn’t think about anyone who went before me and didn’t care what would happen after. I got to fuck a gorgeous athletic person who I was happy knew what she was doing. For some reason she was attracted to me for reasons I don’t understand. Deep in my gut I hated she was fucking others and got turned on know she was eating pussy too. I wanted to watch the latter and needed to see the former I don’t know how others feel watching the person they love fucking others. One side of me wants her to enjoy as much as she can. Men know if their wife are enjoying by how she looks and sounds and how she moves. I know she isn’t faking. I have watched her with dozens of guys, still question my own abilities for absolutely no reason. She chose me as her love the one she wants to fuck every day. I have a hard time not comparing myself to everyone of her sex partners. Is he better looking? Fuck everyone is in my head. Every guy appears to have a bigger cock to me, every guy can go longer, every guy makes her cum louder and more times. I know it’s not true, there are though. You can’t tell jealousy to go away, you deal with your emotions or you don’t. I watched last week an athlete who from my POV was way bigger than me go nonstop for what seemed forever make Honey scream over and over again, I kept thinking do I do that for her. I’m thinking I’m happy for her, I’m thinking damn he’s doing it to my wife better than I can. Jealousy and then we go home and fuck and she says she loves me. I’m not an MFM guy, she normally is a MF or FF that often turns into a FMF with no jealousy from me.

I'll add one thought: OP, your other post suggests the two of you are in your 20s. We started as I was entering my late 30s and her her late 40s. She felt like she'd missed some sexual experiences and I wanted to have more with her. We are delighted that we started. We already fucked a lot and talked openly, but fuck more, talk more openly, and see opportunities to have fun together where they didn't exist before. If you have confidence that you're both turned on by the idea, don't just write it off. Start cautiously and safely, but take the desire seriously.

Yes it is!!!! I bet most first time swingers have that jealousy of watching someone else with your spouse. I’m not sure how long it takes before the jealousy fades or if it ever goes away. Right now I am on a beach where everyone is without clothes, no fancy bathing suit to cover up any flaw. I am jealous of the younger women who haven’t felt the effects of gravity. I know women are looking at my husband as the men are looking at all the prettier women. Outside I say who cares, inside I hope to catch someone staring at me so I can feign contempt and call them pervert. Inside I don’t mind people checking me out as long as it isn’t a pervert. I have caught myself ogling. We had a pact before we started, if either of us were uncomfortably or over-jealous we would put the brakes on. Our first couple were certainly younger and more fit, we know now we both had some jealous moments. Best way to overcome jealousy is to confront and discuss.

Bias Disclaimer - I hate anything Apple with a seething hot passion. It's like my thought process and theirs are just diametrically opposed. If I had my way, mrs cplnuswing's iphone and ipad wouldn't even be allowed in the house just on principle. She tends to disagree with that though ? I can see how this will be misunderstood and blown up into more than it is...for now anyways. The "we've got something great for you whether you want it or not" just goes with the Apple territory. In general though, every bit of control or privacy or belief when they say they have our best interests at heart that we give up to big tech, no matter how innocent or noble purposed at the time, tends to come back and haunt us later in some way. So, opt-in or not, no thanks. The fact that it is even on there without you consciously putting it on there, I'll pass. I also believe the whole sex predator thing is hugely overblown. Yes, sadly it happens, and yes, it's something parents need to be aware of and work with their kids on. What it's not is something to be hysterical about in the false belief there's a predator lurking behind every tree and behind every text. As soon as I hear the "it's to protect the kids" justification, I get suspicious about what the motives really might be because that one is a proven winner at eliciting strong emotional responses and is thrown around way too frequently. I recognize I'm probably an outlier on this stuff - the "find your family" or whatever it's called on Apple, I have no interest in that either. I have no interest or desire to know where mrs. cplnuswing is every second of the day, nor does she me. We've got family members though who are like glued to that. Adults and adults. Not like trying to keep up with a teenager's Saturday night shenanigans, but adults watching adults commute to work or whatever. The same commute as every single day. No snowstorm, nothing out of the ordinary - just helicoptering over each other. It's just sort of creepy I think. It's like people are literally scared to get out of the house anymore, or to let their loved ones out of the house (not talking COVID, this started before that). Sounding like the old fogey I am beginning to suspect I am turning into... but dammit, somehow we survived without all of this overbearing bullshit. Are there teenage Saturday nights I thank my lucky stars my parents didn't have the ability to track me on back then? You bet your ass there are But you know what, we all somehow made it alive and well through having had that freedom and learned some good life lessons along the way.

Step one - ignore the above advice. Step two - Communicate, communicate, communicate. A true story I have told many times here is that a wise man once told me that if he could watch his wife suck another man's dick, he could talk to her about anything. Since we were watching her do just that, I figured he knew what he was talking about. You and your wife need to be able to talk, openly and honestly about anything. Not just sex. Anything. You need to feel comfortable and that you trust her completely and she needs to feel the same. Now, on the sex side, you need to talk about it outside the bedroom, outside of the sexual fantasy. Talk about it in a context where you don't get turned on by it, but where you can talk about it together and together confront your concerns, your desires and your hopes in the cold, clear light of day. Because you're right... what sounds like a good idea when your horny can sounds breathtakingly stupid in the cold light of day... so it's in the cold light of day that you need to talk about it. Once you think you are ready, you need to find the guy... and that can be surprisingly difficult (see above re Step one) especially in these days of pandemic. There are a number of websites that specialize in helping swingers connect but a surprising amount of flakes, fakes and bad matches. Personally, I've never had any luck with websites so I'm of no help on this one. When you do find a guy, know and clearly state your boundaries. It doesn't matter what they are... no kissing, no oral, no anal, no small talk, whatever... know what your limits are and make sure the guy knows them too. Also, make sure everyone understands that if anyone... you, her or him... feel uncomfortable at any time, for any reason or no reason at all, they have the absolute to say Stop... and as soon as anyone says Stop, everyone Stops. Period, no questions, accusations, guilt trips, nothing. No means No. One last thing I really suggest is to set aside expectations. It's easy to build up a fantasy of what the encounter will be like. The reality will never match that fantasy. The best thing you can do is leave the fantasy at home and, if and when the time comes, go with it and enjoy the moment.

I still am, but love the feeling, am addicted to it. My husband says that's why he always goes second and never masturbates to orgasm while I am having sex with another guy - no post-orgasm let down or melancholy while still watching me with another guy. Since he's still excited after the other guy has finished with me, he wants me and goes for sloppy seconds. That makes everything alright and he's never had any regrets.

I used to be a very jealous person but what I found is that the enemy of jealousy is trust and communication. When you have that, when you KNOW that you have a completely open relationship and can tell the other person anything (and they tell you anything as well) and there is no judgement or condemnation, jealousy doesn't have a chance.

I know exactly what you mean by the post nut clarity. There have been times in a MFM where I bust my nut and start having different emotions. Unfortunately I don't think you really know until you just jump in. Maybe you should start slow and see how you feel watching another guy grope your wife, finger her, and maybe continue to progress to her giving a guy a handjob, blowjob etc.

Go to a bar and find a guy and have her ask him if he wants to fuck. If you can’t handle that you aren’t ready for it. Yeah it’ll fuck up ur marriage if ur head ain’t there