Confused male after MMF

[BadBadger 0]

Ive always fantasized about doing MMF with my wife, we have been together 10 years now, and whilst we still have sex, its usually 20 min on the sofa once every couple of weeks once we have finally got the kids to bed. I introduced my wife to my fantasy, and after a long time of watching MMF videos, she finally agreed and we tried it. On the night, she wore sexy lingerie that I had chosen - something she rarely does since we have had kids, and looked amazing. I should add that she is 10 years younger than me and is naturally beautiful, a head turner in the street, The night itself went really well, he was a considerate lover, and she warmed to him straight away and was able to feel comfortable. I knew my place, and let them go at it, whilst I filmed and knocked back champagne. I would join in when I fancied, and loved it, I ended up cumming 3 times. 

 

At the start, he slowly took off her panties whilst my wife and I kissed, he then sat her down, spread her legs and buried his head between them, the sight was amazing. After that, I couldnt wait to see her get his cock out and try it. This she did, as she knelt before him and sucked him like a dog chewing a bone for a good 10 minutes, then night went on for a few hours.

 

We all had a brilliant night. My regret started forming the next day as I was dwelling on the events of the 3some. She has never given me such a passionate blowjob before, even though I have told her in recent years how they lack any effort. Usually I end up sticking my knob in her mouth, and she just accepts it. The same goes for kissing, whilst we do kiss during sex, its not as much as she did with him and its usually me initiating it, whereas when I look at the videos, she is often trying to kiss him.

 

I have spoken to her about the events of our first threesome, her response is that she felt that way naturally, because it is a new cock, and that there is a spark with something new. She loves me still, but as a wife of 10 years, she doesnt have that spark anymore, and hasn't had it since the first say 6 months of our relationship. 

 

She says that she would like to see him again, and that I am feeling this way because of my ego, well maybe she is right, but my ego is telling me that I dont feel comfortable with watching her please a stranger with acts that she cant give someone who loves and provides for her. I suggested that we try FFM next time, but she was quick to remind me that its my fantasy and not hers, she is happy to try FFM, but has no desire to watch me fuck another woman.

 

Am I supposed to live out this marriage and never receive a passionate blow job?

 

She would allow me to fuck another woman without her being there, but I dont want to go down the route of us both doing that and having a polyamorous relationship. If you throw such temptation out there, one of us would end up falling for someone else and the marriage breaks down - we have two young kids, and every other aspect of our relationship is great. 

 

I would be keen to hear what others think, neither of us want a divorce as we feel that we have something special, I am more kinky than her, but she is unable to show me the same level of passion that she can for someone who gives her nothing (but sex), am I expecting too much ?

 

 

[christnthms 325]

I'd say that the kinky stuff needs to be on hold until the rest of the relationship is solid. Sex is great and all. But no matter how great, getting the relationship right is more important.  

[njbm 2,730]

I think your wife was honest. She was sparked up by a new encounter. But her spark may rebound to your benefit. If she is sparky from new sexual encounters, that spark and enthusiasm should carry over to your relationship. 

[MrMrsswinger 184]

Well, you lived the fantasy you wanted. Given your reaction to seeing how enthused she was, I would highly recommend not living it out again. She said "she is happy to try FFM, but has no desire to watch me fuck another woman". That seems like she's playing both sides of the issue. What would she do while you and the other woman are having sex?

 

The only way I'd even consider another encounter is a MFMF couple swap. This way you'll get attention and she'll get attention. However, the language and tone of your post seems to hint that your relationship needs spark. Thus, I would take her out on a few dates (get a babysitter), start experimenting at home (e.g. toys, blindfolds, etc). If she was enthused about the new cock, she may get enthused about new experiences with you....i.e. get off the couch. Go to the backyard. Drive around the corner and jump in the backseat. Using another woman, man or couple to spark things up won't help the two of you alone.

 

[enhancer 1,552]

I personally don’t think it is good idea to bring others into the mix unless your sex life together is already top notch!  The only thing that can fix that is you two alone. It is only going to lead to jealousy and insecurities bringing others in if you feel there is something lacking between you two. 

 

I also think it is perfectly normal for someone to pull out all the stops when having sex with a new partner!  Whether is it a new person they are dating or a one off encounter. Would you not want to make it a memorable experience the first time you were with someone new? 
 

This was your fantasy in the first place!   If she is willing to agree with it she should on her terms.  If you don’t like her terms then you shouldn’t go through with it.  If it is not fun and exciting for her why should she go through with it?

 

The way she responded to the suggestion of a mff does not at all sound like it is a fantasy of hers and it shouldn’t have to be.  Going through with having one is probably only going to cause more tension between you. Swinging isn’t about you got to do this so I should be able to do this.  It should only be about what you both want together and sometimes that is not going to be the same thing.

 

I honestly think the best thing you can do atm is just work on getting the fire burning again between the two of you and put having others join you on hold.

[Numex 2,186]

Of course your wife is going to do and enjoy things with other men (and women) that she doesn't with you, that's the whole reason for swinging/having sex with others.  You should be happy for her.

 

Let her maintain control, encourage whatever it is that she enjoys, and embark on the adventure.  You'll get your reward. 

[kc081878 12]

9 hours ago, Numex said:

Of course your wife is going to do and enjoy things with other men (and women) that she doesn't with you, that's the whole reason for swinging/having sex with others.  You should be happy for her.

 

Let her maintain control, encourage whatever it is that she enjoys, and embark on the adventure.  You'll get your reward. 

This is the mindset I hope to maintain if we ever went for it.

[LaidBackFun 36]

You should have expected her enthusiasm with a new partner. She obviously enjoyed herself and responded accordingly and is up for doing it again. You should be happy for her enjoyment not your bruised ego.  

[Essex27 13]

On 3/28/2021 at 3:53 AM, Numex said:

Of course your wife is going to do and enjoy things with other men (and women) that she doesn't with you, that's the whole reason for swinging/having sex with others.  You should be happy for her.

 

Let her maintain control, encourage whatever it is that she enjoys, and embark on the adventure.  You'll get your reward. 

Agreed, it seems like the right mindset.  My wife and I have not tried a threesome but I hope she will enjoy herself and have a mind blowing experience if and when we try it.  I think I would be into both watching and participating.  I get off on watching her have pleasure.

[Idahocouple6969 294]

When we play, my ultimate goal is for her to have back breaking, mind blowing sex. It should be better than "at home" that's the point of us swinging. If it's "just as good" then we could have stayed home for that. Other people do things differently and hopefully better than I do. It's sex, we aren't falling in love with someone else we are in lust with someone else. Sometimes it's one and done and sometimes we make new friends. But in the end it's just sex and we go home together and fuck our brains out ?.

[KatrinaandDriverX 88]

You got everything you wanted and more.  Then, you find yourself troubled by the 'more' part. She'll get to you, but not if you're going to complain after the first excursion. Ever think of being happy for her (and yourself) instead of these self indulgent contemplations where you pity yourself.  Just because you feel an emotion does not mean you need to indulge it. 

 

I'm not trying to be mean, but your behavior is pretty selfish and don't think for a moment she doesn't realize this. "You gave him a better blow job than I get so to make things even we have a threesome with a girl !" Say it out loud and you might begin to understand.

 

Curious no description of the intercourse they had. That speaks volumes.

 

Simply stated, you're not ready for this until you grow up a smidgen.  Lots of good advice here including not doing this any more for a while. 

 

Lastly, you're NOT more kinky than she is. Not by a long shot. 

[Numex 2,186]

11 hours ago, Idahocouple6969 said:

It's sex, we aren't falling in love with someone else we are in lust with someone else.

My wife has fallen in love with another couple.  The way it happened and the way she handles it, it doesn't bother me at all.  I'm happy for her; it's a beautiful thing.  The love she has for me has grown because of it.

 

I too am in love with another man's wife, in a manner.  It started not because of the sex (although we certainly have it) but because of shared cultural interests.  My wife and her husband think that it's wonderful that we go off and do things that they are totally disinterested in.

 

I guess it is to be expected since we are now in a group and no longer open swing. 

Edited March 30, 2021 by Numex

[Numex 2,186]

12 hours ago, Idahocouple6969 said:

It should be better than "at home" that's the point of us swinging. If it's "just as good" then we could have stayed home for that.

For us, we consider sex with others as different, not necessarily better, although it certainly has aspects that are physically and emotionally better.  Overall, the relationship my wife and I have forms the core of our lives, but it isn't and could never be everything.  How could I, for instance, give her a lesbian experience, physically or emotionally?  That core relationship has become better because we've opened up to letting us have fun with others. 

[christnthms 325]

It's kind of disheartening the number of responses that are essentially telling the OP that his feelings are irrelevant, and that the ONLY consideration is whether she's happy. 

If this had been a woman posting about the a husband that wasn't a very attentive lover and was far more into other women, the streets would be flooded with compassion and the husband would be universally branded as a bad person.  

While not entirely surprising, this lack of compassion and blaming is sad. 

[KatrinaandDriverX 88]

Nope, I've pretty much said the same to women in similar situations. See, what is happening is common. In a new and sexually charged environment someone often 'performs' for the new person in the group. Then, because they actually did what was expected of them, just not in the way they were expected to, the other person is 'feeling ' hurt.

 

If you're going to travel to the edge, you cannot complain if you get your nose bloodied. 

 

He wanted a new experience, he got one. As far as what she did in a sexually charged environment, good for her. As many have suggested, be happy for her.

 

What ever happened to 'no crime, no foul' ?  This was one time, one night, which by your own admission, went on for hours. 

 

I tell ya, one more person tells me how their spouse really came through, the sex was so good the neighbor needed a cigarette, only to bemoan some irrelevant point because they cannot stop themselves from overthinking. Sheesh pal, she had a great time, you had a great time and the other guy did to. That is often a rare thing. 

Edited March 30, 2021 by KatrinaandDriverX

[KatrinaandDriverX 88]

That’s not what happened.. The husband initiated it. It was a first time experience which went mostly well. Now, if they’re ten to twenty experiences in and she’s doing things for new partners and not for her husband, things he desires, that may present something different. This was their first time doing this and you frame her in this way ?  Now c’mon, one time is not a trend and she certainly did not do it to spite him. She went with the experience. Lastly, he says he’s ‘kinkier’ ?  If that were really the case, nothing she did would have troubled him. Not....a....thing.

[dazanconfsd 84]

I see both sides of this, because I have had issues with jealousy. One thing that has helped me stop with the jealousy is a couple we have played with a couple of years as of now. I had the wife bent over, she was blowing her husband and my wife was enjoying the show. The wife was enjoying herself and stopped when her husband was almost there and he told her that isn't okay, you have never stopped before. I immediately pulled out and stepped to the side. They gracefully dismissed themselves, talked it over and came to an understanding. I had an epiphany that while I really enjoy banging his wife, I love mine more and I want NOTHING to do with discord in their relationship or ours. They hashed it out and we have continued to play since, honestly with an even closer friendship. It is about trust and there are some rules. don't smother her, don't torture yourself. Love, trust, communication means different things to some, but it is ALL required to do this successfully.

[Fitlakecouple 450]

Seems like a good time to mention that there is an "Ignore User" functionality that works great!

[KatrinaandDriverX 88]

Hello Watchful1, please note there are decaffeinated brands every bit as tasty as the real thing.....

 

Is all swinging poly, or , all poly swinging ? I get so confused with subsets when combined with ignorant banality.

 

You strike me as more mouse than man. Perhaps it's the way you squeak up.

 

And lastly, no need to go away mad, but perhaps you need to just....

 

:::Cannot wait to read the nimble minded attack that is surely coming my way:::::

[lovefest04 685]

This has gotten so exciting... name calling and out right attacks.

 

I guess I wonder how this is helpful to the OP. People come here for ideas, support, discussion and although everyone is entitled to their opinion, this is far beyond that.

 

Just sayin!

[cplnuswing 4,711]

27 minutes ago, lovefest04 said:

I guess I wonder how this is helpful to the OP. People come here for ideas, support, discussion and although everyone is entitled to their opinion, this is far beyond that.

Exactly.  Which is why the new member who repeatedly proved they were just here to stir up trouble is no longer with us.  Those posts have been removed so we can get back to the subject at hand without all the drama and personal attacks.

[galaxy349 1]

On 3/30/2021 at 3:55 PM, KatrinaandDriverX said:

Nope, I've pretty much said the same to women in similar situations. See, what is happening is common. In a new and sexually charged environment someone often 'performs' for the new person in the group. Then, because they actually did what was expected of them, just not in the way they were expected to, the other person is 'feeling ' hurt.

 

If you're going to travel to the edge, you cannot complain if you get your nose bloodied. 

 

He wanted a new experience, he got one. As far as what she did in a sexually charged environment, good for her. As many have suggested, be happy for her.

 

What ever happened to 'no crime, no foul' ?  This was one time, one night, which by your own admission, went on for hours. 

 

I tell ya, one more person tells me how their spouse really came through, the sex was so good the neighbor needed a cigarette, only to bemoan some irrelevant point because they cannot stop themselves from overthinking. Sheesh pal, she had a great time, you had a great time and the other guy did to. That is often a rare thing. 

You really are bending over backwards to invalidate the husband's feelings, aren't you?

[KatrinaandDriverX 88]

Actually, I'm trying to validate hers. There's a difference .      She did everything asked of her and she embraced it so she had a great time too and wasn't just indulging a husband's whim. 

 

I've sometimes had feelings or emotions that I knew were silly or petty or irrelevant. I pat those emotions on their little head and send them on their way. Just because I feel something doesn't mean it's valid. And, if I'm smart, I'll process it and end up on the better side of the topic.

 

Also, I have looked at my wonderful husband and said,"There are two choices, my side or neutrality". 

[galaxy349 1]

24 minutes ago, KatrinaandDriverX said:

Actually, I'm trying to validate hers. There's a difference .      She did everything asked of her and she embraced it so she had a great time too and wasn't just indulging a husband's whim. 

 

I've sometimes had feelings or emotions that I knew were silly or petty or irrelevant. I pat those emotions on their little head and send them on their way. Just because I feel something doesn't mean it's valid. And, if I'm smart, I'll process it and end up on the better side of the topic.

 

Also, I have looked at my wonderful husband and said,"There are two choices, my side or neutrality". 

No, there's no difference.  In trying to validate hers, you are invalidating his.  You can't have it both ways.  Your attitude betrays you pretty loudly with your last sentence.  What if he said the same thing back to you?  "There are two choices, mine or neutrality?"  Then whose "choice" wins?  Why do your desires and opinions override his?  Truth is, they don't.  But if he's willing to see it your way and submit unconditionally, good for him.  Whatever floats his boat.

[lcmim 1,033]

Whose "SIDE" it is has no relevance. Yes from time to time things will arise. Feelings may be bruised.  None of that is an issue.

 

From our perspective the issue is not being able to address the  problem at hand as a couple. If a couple finds itself unable to arrive at a mutually acceptable position , it seems that it is time to step back.

 

For us the basis for any discussion are:

That the "other" is always being transparent.

That the "other" is always sincere in what they are saying.

That the "other" will never intentionally do any harm.

That while there still remains a YOU and ME to deal with things , there is, in the end, only US.

 In the times when one or the other has felt a twinge of grievance or jealousy it has proven , so far, that the offended party has had their sensitivity set too high.

[KatrinaandDriverX 88]

The 'my side or neutrality' was said jokingly. Sorry if that context did not come through.  Yet, then again, to quote my favorite bird,"He (you) don't know me very well. Do he ?"

 

To validate one is not to invalidate another. There aren't absolutes. I do advocate a good socratic text on logic and reason. 

 

I'm going to stop now because the best way to win a tug of war is to let go of the rope.

[lovefest04 685]

On 3/23/2021 at 1:54 PM, BadBadger said:

Am I supposed to live out this marriage and never receive a passionate blow job?

Maybe.

 

In my relationship/marriage now in its 42 year and we're in our late 50's I've learned a few things, literally growing up together. One is that there are things that others get in their relationships that I don't 'get' in mine and vis a versa. Some good, lots bad. I try to focus on what I have, not what I don't have and sometimes that's hard. But in the end the pluses have always outweighed the minuses. I assume she feels the same.

 

She has had mind blowing sex with strangers. Flirted with them in ways she hasn't with me for years. Dressed and opened herself in ways I'd never experienced. That's okay! I find it fascinating and exciting. As an example, she doesn't do anal. But if she did with a 'lover', I'd be surprised and maybe a little hurt at first, but not for long. It's just fucking anal. It's just a fucking blowjob.

 

Sayre's law tells us that "in any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the issues at stake."

 

Look for the positive, try not to draw lines in the sand, be open to possibilities and remember this is all just a hobby. If it stops being fun, find a new hobby and love each other.

 

 

[herpob 523]

On 3/23/2021 at 5:19 PM, christnthms said:

I'd say that the kinky stuff needs to be on hold until the rest of the relationship is solid. Sex is great and all. But no matter how great, getting the relationship right is more important.  

AMEN to This!!!

[galaxy349 1]

On 4/2/2021 at 10:54 AM, lovefest04 said:

Maybe.

 

In my relationship/marriage now in its 42 year and we're in our late 50's I've learned a few things, literally growing up together. One is that there are things that others get in their relationships that I don't 'get' in mine and vis a versa. Some good, lots bad. I try to focus on what I have, not what I don't have and sometimes that's hard. But in the end the pluses have always outweighed the minuses. I assume she feels the same.

 

She has had mind blowing sex with strangers. Flirted with them in ways she hasn't with me for years. Dressed and opened herself in ways I'd never experienced. That's okay! I find it fascinating and exciting. As an example, she doesn't do anal. But if she did with a 'lover', I'd be surprised and maybe a little hurt at first, but not for long. It's just fucking anal. It's just a fucking blowjob.

 

Sayre's law tells us that "in any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the issues at stake."

 

Look for the positive, try not to draw lines in the sand, be open to possibilities and remember this is all just a hobby. If it stops being fun, find a new hobby and love each other.

 

 

We don't do anything with a playdate that we wouldn't do with each other.  What you accept as "okay"  is actually disrespectful behavior, which, for whatever, you've decided to be ok with .  For the record, Sayre's law tell you nothing in the context of sexual issues and respect. 

[galaxy349 1]

On 4/2/2021 at 10:16 AM, KatrinaandDriverX said:

The 'my side or neutrality' was said jokingly. Sorry if that context did not come through.  Yet, then again, to quote my favorite bird,"He (you) don't know me very well. Do he ?"

 

To validate one is not to invalidate another. There aren't absolutes. I do advocate a good socratic text on logic and reason. 

 

I'm going to stop now because the best way to win a tug of war is to let go of the rope.

Your "joke" wasn't funny.  And I know you better than you think: smug and patronizing. Yes, it can be true that to validate one is not to invalidate another. However, that is not always true.  In the OP's specific case, to validate her, you absolutely will invalidate him.  So it appears that you need a good socratic text more than I do.  And for the record, when you let go of the rope, you lose the tug of war.

[Fitlakecouple 450]

On 4/1/2021 at 8:17 PM, cplnuswing said:

Exactly.  Which is why the new member who repeatedly proved they were just here to stir up trouble is no longer with us.  Those posts have been removed so we can get back to the subject at hand without all the drama and personal attacks.

So he signed up again under a new name and restarted his nonsense???

[lovefest04 685]

my new nightmare....

 

meeting Galaxy349 at bar and he/she/they/them asking for my opinion and advice about ANYTHING. We all know how that would end.

[galaxy349 1]

1 hour ago, Fitlakecouple said:

So he signed up again under a new name and restarted his nonsense???

Not sure what you're talking about, but I just responded to what I perceived to be a smug personal attack.  If that's not how it was intended, sorry.

[galaxy349 1]

11 minutes ago, lovefest04 said:

my new nightmare....

 

meeting Galaxy349 at bar and he/she/they/them asking for my opinion and advice about ANYTHING. We all know how that would end.

What's going on?  I have frequently posted on the swinger subreddit without any of the problems I'm having here.  I'll leave you to it.  There's a troubling hive-mind at play here which isn't conducive to anything productive.  Bye.

[machiavel55 80]

On 3/28/2021 at 6:53 AM, Numex said:

Of course your wife is going to do and enjoy things with other men (and women) that she doesn't with you, that's the whole reason for swinging/having sex with others.  You should be happy for her.

 

Let her maintain control, encourage whatever it is that she enjoys, and embark on the adventure.  You'll get your reward. 

Really? what a sad statement....

[machiavel55 80]

On 4/3/2021 at 12:33 PM, galaxy349 said:

We don't do anything with a playdate that we wouldn't do with each other.  What you accept as "okay"  is actually disrespectful behavior, which, for whatever, you've decided to be ok with .  For the record, Sayre's law tell you nothing in the context of sexual issues and respect. 

 galaxy349 I'm with you.....what some men on this board accept in their marriage is part of their kinks.

Edited May 14, 2021 by machiavel55

[machiavel55 80]

On 3/30/2021 at 12:44 AM, KatrinaandDriverX said:

You got everything you wanted and more.  Then, you find yourself troubled by the 'more' part. She'll get to you, but not if you're going to complain after the first excursion. Ever think of being happy for her (and yourself) instead of these self indulgent contemplations where you pity yourself.  Just because you feel an emotion does not mean you need to indulge it. 

 

I'm not trying to be mean, but your behavior is pretty selfish and don't think for a moment she doesn't realize this. "You gave him a better blow job than I get so to make things even we have a threesome with a girl !" Say it out loud and you might begin to understand.

 

Curious no description of the intercourse they had. That speaks volumes.

 

Simply stated, you're not ready for this until you grow up a smidgen.  Lots of good advice here including not doing this any more for a while. 

 

Lastly, you're NOT more kinky than she is. Not by a long shot. 

So he should accept that he will never get a passionate bj? really?...and what, masturbate in the corner while she goes off to fuck others?...he's not selfish, he wants as the life partner to get at least the same quality of sex his wife gives others. After what she told him, complaining to her is pointless, she clearly has no more respect or desire for him. He should leave her and find a woman who will love and respect him. That couple is doomed.

[machiavel55 80]

On 3/29/2021 at 4:43 PM, LaidBackFun said:

You should have expected her enthusiasm with a new partner. She obviously enjoyed herself and responded accordingly and is up for doing it again. You should be happy for her enjoyment not your bruised ego.  

What about his enjoyment?....

[machiavel55 80]

On 4/1/2021 at 1:28 AM, dazanconfsd said:

I see both sides of this, because I have had issues with jealousy. One thing that has helped me stop with the jealousy is a couple we have played with a couple of years as of now. I had the wife bent over, she was blowing her husband and my wife was enjoying the show. The wife was enjoying herself and stopped when her husband was almost there and he told her that isn't okay, you have never stopped before. I immediately pulled out and stepped to the side. They gracefully dismissed themselves, talked it over and came to an understanding. I had an epiphany that while I really enjoy banging his wife, I love mine more and I want NOTHING to do with discord in their relationship or ours. They hashed it out and we have continued to play since, honestly with an even closer friendship. It is about trust and there are some rules. don't smother her, don't torture yourself. Love, trust, communication means different things to some, but it is ALL required to do this successfully.

Except that there was no other wife there for him.

[Eddiem 139]

On 3/23/2021 at 9:54 PM, BadBadger said:

Ive always fantasized about doing MMF with my wife, we have been together 10 years now, and whilst we still have sex, its usually 20 min on the sofa once every couple of weeks once we have finally got the kids to bed. I introduced my wife to my fantasy, and after a long time of watching MMF videos, she finally agreed and we tried it. On the night, she wore sexy lingerie that I had chosen - something she rarely does since we have had kids, and looked amazing. I should add that she is 10 years younger than me and is naturally beautiful, a head turner in the street, The night itself went really well, he was a considerate lover, and she warmed to him straight away and was able to feel comfortable. I knew my place, and let them go at it, whilst I filmed and knocked back champagne. I would join in when I fancied, and loved it, I ended up cumming 3 times. 

 

 

 

We all had a brilliant night. My regret started forming the next day as I was dwelling on the events of the 3some. She has never given me such a passionate blowjob before, even though I have told her in recent years how they lack any effort. Usually I end up sticking my knob in her mouth, and she just accepts it. The same goes for kissing, whilst we do kiss during sex, its not as much as she did with him and its usually me initiating it, whereas when I look at the videos, she is often trying to kiss him.

 

I have spoken to her about the events of our first threesome, her response is that she felt that way naturally, because it is a new cock, and that there is a spark with something new. She loves me still, but as a wife of 10 years, she doesnt have that spark anymore, and hasn't had it since the first say 6 months of our relationship. 

 

 

TBH I think many of us have had this experience / feeling too. I also did...I was thrilled to see my SO having a great time with a friend who was horny as hell after going through a divorce. It just kind of happened and it was so hot I too could not wait for her to take his cock. I started the day after focusing on parts of the MFM especially the latter part when he was about to cum, he pulls out and she grabs his cock and puts it back in as he is ready to cum she yells at him to fuck her harder... and to put his seed in her. I was like ..umm.... this was not expected. Then when he finished he pulls out, cock dripping, he takes her head and tells her to clean him up and she does. She does...   Don´t focus too much on it. Try to enjoy what you saw...don´t compare either.

[Numex 2,186]

On 3/28/2021 at 2:46 PM, kc081878 said:

This is the mindset I hope to maintain if we ever went for it.

We are only one data point, but we started with me telling my wife that I would be happy for her to enjoy sex with someone else who she desired.  She played with two exes (separately) with me assuring her that I wasn't looking to and wouldn't play.  It made our great sex life even better.  Then she wanted to MFM with me and them (separately) - fantastic! 

 

Seeing how I handled it made her comfortable with couples swaps and expanding on her college girl/girl experiences.  Definitely, give to her expecting nothing in return except her happiness, and follow her lead.

[AndrewandAnn 359]

On 3/23/2021 at 4:54 PM, BadBadger said:

Ive always fantasized about doing MMF with my wife, we have been together 10 years now, and whilst we still have sex, its usually 20 min on the sofa once every couple of weeks once we have finally got the kids to bed. I introduced my wife to my fantasy, and after a long time of watching MMF videos, she finally agreed and we tried it. On the night, she wore sexy lingerie that I had chosen - something she rarely does since we have had kids, and looked amazing. I should add that she is 10 years younger than me and is naturally beautiful, a head turner in the street, The night itself went really well, he was a considerate lover, and she warmed to him straight away and was able to feel comfortable. I knew my place, and let them go at it, whilst I filmed and knocked back champagne. I would join in when I fancied, and loved it, I ended up cumming 3 times. 

 

At the start, he slowly took off her panties whilst my wife and I kissed, he then sat her down, spread her legs and buried his head between them, the sight was amazing. After that, I couldnt wait to see her get his cock out and try it. This she did, as she knelt before him and sucked him like a dog chewing a bone for a good 10 minutes, then night went on for a few hours.

 

We all had a brilliant night. My regret started forming the next day as I was dwelling on the events of the 3some. She has never given me such a passionate blowjob before, even though I have told her in recent years how they lack any effort. Usually I end up sticking my knob in her mouth, and she just accepts it. The same goes for kissing, whilst we do kiss during sex, its not as much as she did with him and its usually me initiating it, whereas when I look at the videos, she is often trying to kiss him.

 

I have spoken to her about the events of our first threesome, her response is that she felt that way naturally, because it is a new cock, and that there is a spark with something new. She loves me still, but as a wife of 10 years, she doesnt have that spark anymore, and hasn't had it since the first say 6 months of our relationship. 

 

She says that she would like to see him again, and that I am feeling this way because of my ego, well maybe she is right, but my ego is telling me that I dont feel comfortable with watching her please a stranger with acts that she cant give someone who loves and provides for her. I suggested that we try FFM next time, but she was quick to remind me that its my fantasy and not hers, she is happy to try FFM, but has no desire to watch me fuck another woman.

 

Am I supposed to live out this marriage and never receive a passionate blow job?

 

She would allow me to fuck another woman without her being there, but I dont want to go down the route of us both doing that and having a polyamorous relationship. If you throw such temptation out there, one of us would end up falling for someone else and the marriage breaks down - we have two young kids, and every other aspect of our relationship is great. 

 

I would be keen to hear what others think, neither of us want a divorce as we feel that we have something special, I am more kinky than her, but she is unable to show me the same level of passion that she can for someone who gives her nothing (but sex), am I expecting too much ?

 

 

As you have read, when you ask for advice and the opinions of others, you're going to get a lot it--and oftentimes it is entirely contradictory.

 

My best advice?

 

Firstly, recognize what anyone else thinks about your relationship, its boundaries, what you "should" and "shouldn't" feel or do, etc. is meaningless. Ignore it all. Inside a relationship between two people, there isn't room for a third, fourth, fifth, sets of opinions. You're just opening yourself up to more confusion and nonsense.

 

Secondly, work on your relationship. You're absolutely, positively not ready for swinging. If you started to have intimacy issues just six months into your marriage, sex isn't the problem. Something else is. And I strongly recommend engaging the services of a relationship counselor, particularly one that is familiar with the subject of open marriages. Why do you need a relationship counselor? Simple: If you haven't resolved these intimacy issues on your own in the past 9.5 years, it is unlikely you will do so anytime soon. Great sex is the result of great relationships, not the other way around. In six decades of life, I've never met a couple that was having trouble in the bedroom who wasn't having trouble outside the bedroom, too.

 

It doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. It simply means you two need to put some real effort into making it what you want it to be. That takes two committed people, prepared to put First Things, first. Easily said. Not so easily accomplished, especially when you have competing needs and family  priorities to juggle and balance.

 

Lastly, allow me tell you what is the worst kept secret in the lifestyle: Swinging is not a good fit for most marriages. And it may not be (read: probably is not) a good fit for yours. Watching some titillating threesome porn on your flat screen television is one thing. Watching your wife chugging another guy's cock two feet from you is another. Fantasy and reality collide, with a predictable outcome: Gee, this isn't what I was expecting? And when our expectations are not met, upset and conflict inevitably follow.

 

Against my advice, should you decide to go down this route again, at least do so after having carefully thought through and discussed, IN ADVANCE, the pitfalls and conflicts and jealousies that will (plan on it) arise and, most importantly, HOW YOU PLAN TO SUCCESSFULLY RESOLVE THEM. Establishing a framework for healthy conflict resolution is not just a "good idea", it is an absolute necessity.