When to bring up swinging during dating

[ClearwaterMan 18]

I'm new to the forum and wasn't sure where to post this. So, Administrator, please move to appropriate area if this isn't the right one.

 

I'm single. 49 years old. Straight. Never married. No kids. Recently snipped. Very stable and good guy. Yes, a true bachelor. I've been out of the dating scene for a LONG time due to some bad experiences in late 2000's. I also discovered I wasn't truly emotionally available and it wasn't fair to women to be out there meeting them if I wasn't happy with myself--I was really just wasting their time.

 

But things have changed. Totally different guy now. Lots of very positive things going on. Feeling good and looking good. So, now, I am ready to start meeting women again. So here's the question: When is the appropriate time to bring up with a woman that I'd like to try swinging if we are to be a couple?

 

I've been reading a lot on the boards here. But it seems most people don't get into it until they are married. Lots of "We were monogamous and married for 20 years, then . . ." Well, what if you're a single guy, and you're out meeting women and dating them? I'm guessing that mentioning it on the first date isn't wise. But waiting until you're 6 months in isn't appropriate either--because she'll know I've had this planned all along. I guess what I'm saying is there aren't any single women out there who have "I am open to swinging" in their dating profiles. You know what I mean?

 

As an example,I re-hooked up with a woman I've known for 19 years in 2019. We've done a lot together. She knows me as well as any woman on the planet. She is outgoing and friendly and non-prudish, etc. I brought up us going to a swingers club. Her response, "You want me to have sex with strangers????" And this is from a 46 year old with lots of sexual experience. And it's too bad because I know she would be extremely popular with other couples.

 

Also, as a single guy, I don't want to be "that single guy" who rolls in to a swingers club or resort by himself. That just feels weird to me. I want swinging to be something that I experience with someone else I'm crazy about who feels like I do. I don't want to be viewed as a guy who is just into the scene because I want to have sex with other guys' wives. I want to make sure there are mutually beneficial relationships going on with giving and receiving.

 

Or, am I looking at this wrong? Maybe it's better that couples don't get into swinging until they're married so that close emotional bond of love is solid. In addition, there's a contract if something goes wrong--one person can divorce the other. Whereas, just going as bf and gf, it's essentially just two single people who are together with no real penalty if things go wrong while swinging. Does swinging as a non-married couple make it more likely that jealousy and falling in love with someone else's wife or husband will happen? Yep, I think that's a good question too.

 

Thoughts on this? Thanks. I think this forum is spectacular, by the way. So much openness and honesty.

[cplnuswing 4,711]

Thanks, this 8s a spectacular place and it is because of the people here, and we're glad to add you to that list.

 

Others may disagree, but I think you are on target when you speculated that maybe it is better couples don't get into swinging until the close emotional bond of love is solid, and I'll add to that, been tested by the trials by fire that only come with time.

 

We've never done so, and I wouldn't totally rule it out, but we would likely think twice before swinging with a boyfriend/girlfriend type couple. If we did do it, we would go into it knowing it likely wasn't going to feel the same, instead more like sex with a single, just two of them simultaneously in this case. That element of a well-established couple sharing just a bit of what they have, and you sharing a bit of what your relationship has, that element would be missing and we would really miss that I think.

 

Here's some previous discussion that may be worth a read.

When does swinging best get brought up in a relationship

 

Do people view girlfriends differently than wives in the lifestyle

[ncmd_couple 597]

There really isn't an answer to your question, or others would have chimed in already. But I will share my thoughts at this point.

 

Every relationship is unique in many ways. And honestly swinging is a really big step for the majority of people. It is contrary to how they were raised and societal norms. The chances of you meeting someone who is "swinger ready" are pretty much slim to none.

 

So, if swinging is something you really want to do, then you have to be honest about it. In my case, monogamy was something that was never really important to me. It all depends on your motivations.

 

If you want to find a woman that feels the same way, then you will have to look where the environment is already swinger friendly. If she is there, she leans that way to start off with. I saw a profile of a woman on SLS the other day who was specifically looking for a male swinging partner for a LTR. You might try there. You can also visit venues in your area that are swinger friendly.

 

If you are up front in what you are looking for in a relationship, where ever you meet her, you are gonna have a lot of one and done dates, but then again, you might get lucky! Women at your age are past the raising kids stage, they are in their sexual prime, and you just never know. Good luck!

[lcmim 1,033]

This is just a note from my tiny section of the swingers universe.

 

First you worry about being "that guy". I am thinking that that pretty much innoculates you against that. You are aware and do not want to go there. That puts you ahead of all the horny post notching married men, and there are more than a few of those.

 

Second not all swinger communities are structured in the same way. Some absolutely shun single men. They have their reasons some good some not so.

Our particular group , while mostly married couples, decided a while ago that singles of either gender , if they behaved themselves, would be welcome.

 

We are mostly an older group and these singles are sometimes widowed persons or divorced. We have had our share of couples that formed after meeting at a party. There have even been a few marriages.Being a bit older and knowing what you want sometimes makes thing simpler.

 

If you were to show up at a group like ours , out of 40 people, you would be one of 3-4 single males (at this point 5-7 single females). If you were civil and participated in the social and work activities the ladies would notice. It might take a few parties with little or no action as they vetted you. Even as a married guy I went through that.( My wife not so much. I didn't get jealous of other guys playing with her as I was perturbed a bit by the disparity in our activity levels.)

 

At any rate after a number of parties it was no longer an issue. Even at the first party while I was helping the ladies set up the meal I was getting my ass grabbed and on full on hug and kiss as a thanks. I think you would experience much the same given the right group.

 

On our part we met a gentleman who has become a long term play partner, mostly in threes , but on occasion with just my wife.

 

As to your question of WHEN, I would say if you don't recognize the time, then it has not come.

 

That of course is not an issue if you meet in a swingers environment in the first place. If you do get involved with a vanilla, why not just lay it out there as a fascination of yours while you are still in the discovery stage, not phrasing it as "Do you want to do this with me?" Let it perk in her mind for a while if she does she might just surprise you.

[Fitlakecouple 450]

Well, for one thing, you probably shouldn't open with: "Do you want to go to a swingers club?". People generally need to warm up to new ideas. And this particular new idea generally requires a lot of warming up. Slow your roll if you want her to join you. And, even then, when my wife hears it's a couple thats been dating for xx months - she's pretty much out. So be prepared for that too.

[Jane1902 476]

It is a big step for most people to get to swinging so your friend’s reaction doesn’t surprise me. Perhaps with more discussion she may agree to go and watch, only play with each other. As ncmd said some people do advertise they are looking for a LTR with swinging. I know two singles that met swinging and continued as a couple with no break to establish the new relationship. It’s worked for them. In looking for a woman to swing with are you actually looking for an ongoing relationship or more of a ticket into swinging?

[Alura 2,766]

In my opinion, one shouldn't rule out anything in a new relationship. It's a time to explore the other's mind, learn how she thinks, and determine the possibilities. That said, Laura and I discussed "fidelity" on our first date.

 

We had both learned we each had a history of sexuality. At one point, I suggested that people who are able to "swap spouses" must have a very strong marriage and impressive communication. Otherwise, such might well ruin their marriage.

 

"I can't imagine living the rest of my life having sex with the same person constantly," she said. "There's a special excitement when you fuck a new and different person."

 

We continued this discussion for the next two years when we got married. About a year into it, I came home from a business trip to the question, "Darling, would you mind if I fuck someone else while you're in Dallas next week?"

 

"I assume you have somebody in mind?"

 

"His name is Richard. He's a contractor who is doing some work on our building at work. He wants to fuck me."

 

"Every man who has laid eyes on you want's to fuck you. Has he asked?"

 

"No, but a woman knows. He asked me out to dinner. I'd like to do him while you're in Dallas next week."

 

To shorten the story, she did, and our path into Swinging began. She was unimpressed with the experience, (I wasn't.) and didn't repeat the encounter, but it narrowed our search to couples, which we found sometime later.

 

Communitation is key. Learn to understand each other and your freedom to experience excitement will be assured.

[GoldCoCouple 4,022]

IOHO, the reason that most couples have been together for so long before they start swinging is because it takes that long to develop the love/trust/communication to be able to be successful in swinging. When you are just starting to date, the bonds are just not there yet so many other couples don't want to take the chance of the potential drama. At the same time, if you are trying to catch fish, start by fishing somewhere where you know the fish already are. Look for unicorns on swingers websites or at the clubs. You want to date a woman who is interested in swinging, find a woman that is already swinging (but NOT already part of a couple). I know the amount of available single swinging women is a VERY SHALLOW pond, but more than a few would probably enjoy having someone to go with (and not end up feeling like chum as the sharks circle). Just a thought...

[ClearwaterMan 18]

Wow, a lot of spectacular insight. To answer one of the points specifically: No, not looking for a ticket into swinging. Instead, I am looking for what I think many of you have: That strong bond and relationship that is enhanced by fun you can have with others.

 

What I am also getting out of this is, unless there are single women who are very public in their desire to swing and swap, i.e. they have it in a dating profile or just bring it up in the first conversation, then it's best to keep it out of the conversation with women who don't. But what I also think I'm reading is that not many of you believed you'd be doing what you're doing when you first got married. Swinging is just something that "came up" in a discussion like moving to a different city or changing jobs after years of being married. And since all of you are still doing it, then I'm thinking that is probably the best way for it to happen. Whereas, the impression you're giving me is if a couple gets into swinging while just dating, then as one of you put it--it's really just two single people going out to have sex with others.

 

I think my choice is that I'm just going to not bring it up with women whose standpoints on swinging I don't know. But also start looking for those women are very upfront about it in profiles online. And I'll just see where things go. Hey, really, I'm just glad I am back in this frame of mind of getting together with women after years of avoiding it.

[Alura 2,766]

I think you have the idea, Clearwater Man. I'll offer one more tip that I learned from my late wife:

 

Never ask questions that can be answered with a "yes" or "no." Laura used the question, "How do y'all feel about Swinging?" She called it an "essay" question.

[couplers 4,180]

... Laura and I discussed "fidelity" on our first date.

 

We had both learned we each had a history of sexuality. At one point, I suggested that people who are able to "swap spouses" must have a very strong marriage and impressive communication. Otherwise, such might well ruin their marriage.

 

"I can't imagine living the rest of my life having sex with the same person constantly," she said. "There's a special excitement when you fuck a new and different person."..

From the woman's perspective, I pretty much agree with the above. Maybe not on the first date, but when the topic first turns to sex, as it certainly will, it would be best to bring up the subject early on, so as to not waste anyone's time. The best way to put anything is in terms of the other person - not "I'd like to swing," but rather "People make too big a deal of monogamy. I wouldn't demand it of you." Don't press the issue, but give her time to contemplate. You may need to sort through a few, but it will be worth it. Best of luck and keep us posted.

[Ozzie+Harriet 84]

If swinging is important to you, I'd say bring it up before the second date. That way you won't ultimately end up as one of those guys who is desperate for the "right advice" to convince his wife/gf to swing. If your date rejects the idea out of hand and has absolutely zero interest, then you are taking a big chance of getting into a reltionship/marriage with someone whose lack of interest you are obligated to respect for lack of bringing up your interest in it before things got too far along.

[M1F2KTJ 470]

I didn't read your post. I read the subject line and my reply would be early. More sooner than later. It would be part of the getting to know you stage. It would sort out the compatible from the incompatible before anyone invests time or money in a relationship that is not going to end well.

[EastInWest 1,508]

If swinging is important to you, I'd say bring it up before the second date. That way you won't ultimately end up as one of those guys who is desperate for the "right advice" to convince his wife/gf to swing. If your date rejects the idea out of hand and has absolutely zero interest, then you are taking a big chance of getting into a reltionship/marriage with someone whose lack of interest you are obligated to respect for lack of bringing up your interest in it before things got too far along.

 

It's got to be a really tough situation to realize you have a powerful kink and that the love of your life is completely uninterested. Hesitant is one thing, but I see guys posting all the time in different places about their near-desperation to be understood.

 

Getting all the sex on the table early is not a bad idea and probably helped us immensely with being basically compatible psychologically later. Even late-relationship changes in libido can be tough, nevermind introducing the prospect of other libidos.

[Numex 2,186]

We talked about exes when we dated, but not nonmonogamy. We're lucky things later turned out as they did.

[Sunday 119]

I'm new to the forum and wasn't sure where to post this. So, Administrator, please move to appropriate area if this isn't the right one.

 

I'm single. 49 years old. Straight. Never married. No kids. Recently snipped. Very stable and good guy. Yes, a true bachelor. I've been out of the dating scene for a LONG time due to some bad experiences in late 2000's. I also discovered I wasn't truly emotionally available and it wasn't fair to women to be out there meeting them if I wasn't happy with myself--I was really just wasting their time.

 

But things have changed. Totally different guy now. Lots of very positive things going on. Feeling good and looking good. So, now, I am ready to start meeting women again. So here's the question: When is the appropriate time to bring up with a woman that I'd like to try swinging if we are to be a couple?...

 

Here's how you do it: after you've been banging (making love, whatever)for a while, tell her how amazing it is, and how amazing it would look to an observer. Ease into taking some pics or videos, get her into seeing some porn. Keep telling her how hot she looks while having sex and then suggest how hot it would be if people watched. Not people watching you in a men's room somewhere but people who are in the proper environment for watching.

 

Once she gets comfortable with attending a party or club "just to be watched" things should naturally progress form there. Trust me, this works. And there is nothing under-handed or tricky about it because you never force her to do anything she is not comfortable with. It is a natural progression.

 

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

You should start by posing a innocent questions like, "have you heard of swing" or "what do you think of people who swing"? If you get an answer like, "people who do that go straight to Hell" then you'd better start imagining what your life will be without swing or without that particular girlfriend. If you learn, however, that she has a reasonably positive view, you can work up to a question like, "would you ever do anything like that?"

 

This, by the way, if basically how my wife brought the idea to me. I initially thought it was a trick question but decided to say that I would be willing to investigate the question.

[Guest]

Hey.....

 

Firstly well done on stepping back from the dating scene and focussing on yourself for a while, that will have seriously helped your chances of finding a better relationship and is a positive thing.

 

Secondly, you have touched on a subject that I feel fairly strongly about, as please believe me navigating this situation incorrectly can have disastrous consequences for your life, in fact the question you are asking is only scratching the surface of issues that go much deeper.

 

However to answer your question:

 

When is the best time to tell a women your dating that you like group sex?

 

Well the short answer would be............... NOT YET / MAYBE NEVER!!!!!

 

Okay what do I mean?

 

Well this is explanation contains several areas such as:

 

A) Firstly it is MUCH BETTER for you and everyone involved if you can identify if this women is open minded to the idea of threesomes and group sex BEFORE your sitting on a date with her, before you agree to meet her for dates.

 

B) Secondly there is a LOT of thing that YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO when you just start dating someone, and these things would include.

 

You do NOT have to tell this women that YOU like group sex.

 

You do NOT have to ask this women if she would have group sex.

 

You do NOT have to admit liking this idea at all.

 

You do NOT have to ask this women to have group sex with you.

 

In fact ALL that you have do is ask this women's OPINION!!!!

 

 

HOW DOES ALL THIS WORK?

 

Well basically you meet a women you like, you begin a conversation with her either in person or on the internet, and at some point in this initial conversation you are going to use a trick question, or a few planned sentences to drop the word “Threesome” into conversation and then ask her opinion about that subject, let me give you a few examples.

 

Example: I walk into a train station and notice an attractive young women standing on the platform waiting for the same train as me, so in a polite and friendly manor I walk up and stand next to her on the platform (a safe normal distance away) and as she turns to look at me I give her a simple friendly smile and say “Good morning, nice day we are having, you heading anywhere exciting today?” and sure this women might be a bit shocked but I am just been friendly.

 

Now at this point I am NOT trying to impress the women / not trying to pull this women / not looking to have sex with this women / not been sexual forward or offensive / in fact I am simply making BULLSHIT small talk and friendly conversation.

 

I usually encourage this women to talk about herself, simply opened ended questions like.

 

“Wow that's a nice shirt where did you get that?”

 

“Wow they are posh shoes do you own a lot of shoes, like a mountain of shoes?”

 

“Wow your hair looks nice I bet that haircut tuck hours, where did you get it done?”

 

Okay so to quickly RE-CAP.

 

I have approached this women and simply started a very mild small talk conversation, just an over friendly person who is having a chat.

 

Now at this point I am going to drop the word “Threesome” into conversation and ask this women's opinion about that subject? However I a going to do it in a friendly, polite, none offence way that shifts the blame away from me, that leaves me a lot more protected.

 

For example I could say:

 

FRIEND: “I guess this sounds really strange but perhaps you could help me, you see something happened a few days ago and its been playing on my mind and I could really use a women's opinion about this, would you be willing to give me your opinion please?

 

Oh you would that is great, thank you. However please be warned the question I have is a little strange and perhaps even adult. You see the other day one of my best friends got drunk and confided in me. In his semi drunk state he told me him and his wife are considering having a threesome with a women they know and my friend asked me what he should do?

 

Honestly I was shocked and a little disgusted, I honestly had no idea what to tell him and think in the end I was fairly rude and just kind of blanked him. However its made me feel really bad because obviously my friend is struggling with this a little and he did reach out to me for support and I just got really nervous / didn't know what to say / and kind of just blanked him.

 

Do you think that I over reacted? I'd like to figure out what to tell him before I see him next week and am not even sure if I over reacted, I mean is the threesome subject okay now? What is your opinion on that subject? Would you say I am just been uptight? Hopefully I haven't caused any offence by asking such a stupid question but obviously its not like I can talk with my friends or family about this and I'd really like to help my friend, what's your opinion on it all?”

 

TV SHOW: “Don't suppose you watched the news yesterday evening did you? No you didn't? Well have to admit there was a story on there that upset me a little. I was at my friends house and the evening news was on in the background whilst his two children ran around the room playing when suddenly an article about threesomes came on the evening news, some news article saying how popular threesomes are now.

 

I mean honestly why put something like that on when there are thousands of children home from school, I was fairly disgusted by it all and even said we should complain to the TV station. But then my friend basically just said “Chill out the kids don't understand and threesomes are not even a big deal these days” guess I was really shocked and it made me feel that I'm behind with the times or something, I mean what do you think could that subject even work, is it popular now like the news said, honestly I have no idea, what do you think?

 

FRIEND ISSUE: “Honestly I'm still trying to get my head around what happened the other day, honestly the strangest and most embarrassing thing happened to me the other day, I'm not even sure what to do about it.

 

You see the other day I went out for some drinks after work with my friends and one of the lads had left his wallet at home, so before having a drink I gave him a quick 10 minute lift home to he could quickly get changed and pick up his wallet.

 

Well we walked into his house and it was like a rave, the music upstairs was on full blast to the point the house was shaking. We walked upstairs wondering what the hell was going on and actually walked in on my friends 17 year old daughter having a threesome with boyfriend and another young man, honestly I have never seen so many red embarrassed faces in my life.

 

My friend went crazy and was going to attack these boys, but I quickly managed to calm things down and asked the two lads to get out of their quick before trouble started, and in fairness they ran out that door like a bunch of scared rats. I couldn't believe it I mean at 17 years old I was to busy playing computer games to even think about anything like that.

 

I mean maybe I'm just behind with the times? I mean would you say threesomes are okay these days? What's your opinion on the subject?

 

.

.

 

 

Think of a random way to say the word “Threesome” and then ask the women's opinion on the threesome subject?

 

My boss at work got caught having a threesome in the office.

 

I just read a strange article in a news paper that was all about threesomes.

 

Have you seen that funny penguin meme going around Face Book where it looks like the 3 penguins are having a threesome.

 

I tuck a walk in the park the other day and heard a noise in the bushes next to me so looked over the bush and there were 3 people there having a threesome, I was so shocked.

 

Come up with some reason to mention the word “Threesome” then simply ask this womens views about that subject?

 

NOW at this stage please understand that you are NOT asking this women to have a threesome, you are not even telling her that you like threesomes, all your doing is making random friendly conversation and asking an opinion, none of which is a crime.

 

THE THREE REACTIONS:

 

Now at this stage there are 3 common reactions that a women will give, which are:

 

A) Angry

 

B) Negative

 

C) Positive

 

 

However I'll explain each one because you might be surprised by a few things.

 

ANGRY – Well firstly you would imagine a women would be angry at you for even mentioning the word threesome, but honestly I have done this hundreds of times over the last 25 years and if you approach them in a friendly / safe / none threatening manor and be polite then you will actually find a women getting ANGRY is actually a very rare thing.

 

These women who end up getting angry are usually bitchy / self absorbed / anti sexual people anyway, the kind of person who will be rude and find offensive in almost anything.

 

However like stated this is a RARE thing, and sure a women might hear the word “Threesome” and suddenly say something like.....

 

“WHAT!!!!! What the hell, are you a fucking pervert? Just asking a random person their opinion on threesomes? Are you a sexual freak? Threesomes are disgusting!”

 

In reply you can basically AGREE WITH THEM TOTALLY and say something like....

 

“Oh thank God, I could not agree with you more I think threesomes are totally disgusting as well and just thought I was over reacting or was been behind with the times when my friend asked me for advice. I'm so glad that its not just me that thinks threesomes and gross, guess it made me feel really bad, like I wasn't a fun or open minded person but now I know other people don't like it as well then I know what to tell my friend. If he asks me for advice again I'm going to tell him I don't like the subject and other people don't either, thank you, and sorry for any offence, it was nice speaking to you, BYE BYE!!!!”

 

Your probably never going to see this women again in your life so in reality if they got angry at you then just walk away and leave the coffee shop or whatever.

 

Personally I'm happy to spend 30 seconds telling the boring / hostile / anti sexual prude that she is right, that she is amazing, that she has the world figured out and then saying BYE BYE.

 

NEGATIVE – In this case the women will give out a none hostile, but instantly negative response, and please believe me this is their GUT REACTION and in most cases you will never change that, not even if you marry her / have children with her / that gut reaction usually means its a NOW WAY on the group sex subject.

 

This women will hear the word threesome and will instantly say something like....

 

“Eeeeewwwwww NO WAY that is disgusting, I'd never have a threesome!”

 

Then within the space of 2 or 3 seconds you have just found your answer, this women is NOT open minded to the idea of threesomes or group sex in general.

 

 

POSITIVE – Well this is the answer your looking for, and usually these women will look at you a little shocked but then they will go quiet for a few seconds, they will perhaps seem to be thinking, or simply trying to think of the correct sentence that doesn't make them sound bad or like some sex maniac of some sort, and sure they will say things like:

 

“Yeah I guess threesomes sound cool”

 

“Yeah with the right people I guess it could be fun”

 

“Yeah why not we only live once right”

 

In some cases you can ask a women's OPINION on threesomes and she will reply by saying.

 

“Yeah sure I'd try that”

 

Now basically THIS is the women you want to ask out on a date. This is the women who's number / email / contact details that you want.

 

If your shy then write down your number or email and give her that, but either way this is the girl you want to date.

 

However please understand that a women simply been open minded to the idea is NOT a 100% guarantee that she ever will have a group sex with you. It just rises your chances dramatically.

 

Sound insane?

 

No not really, not at all in fact.

 

I have used this countless times and honestly the few women who have become angry or give negative responses I have never even seen again in my life.

 

Its almost like saying.....

 

“Oh you said no, well never mind then because I'm never going to see you again in my life. Oh you was angry or negative, oh well I'm never going to see you again in my life anyway. Oh you gave a positive answer, okay I want to take her out on a real date?”

 

Think about this question.....

 

If a women freaks out or becomes negative simply by HEARING the word threesome, then how would you ever expect that women to actually have and enjoy group sex? She can't even hear it without having an instant negative reaction.

 

Basically the first and best thing to do is FIND OUT if a women is open minded towards the idea of group sex before you even start dating her, before you even ask her on a date.

 

BUT WHAT IF I CANT DO THAT?

 

Sure it happens, sometimes we don't get chance to ask, sometimes it might not have been appropriate at the time, in which case.......

 

To save me repeating it all the exact same applies as above.

 

You meet the women for a FIRST DATE and during this first date you are going to do the exact same as above.

 

Somewhere in that first date you are going to drop in the word “Threesome” into friendly conversation and then ask her opinion?

 

If she gives an angry or negative response then obviously meet another women to date, if however she gives a positive response then sure meet her for date two, three, four, ECT.

 

Remember if you ask a women to have a threesome she has grounds to be really offended. If you tell a women you like group sex then again she has grounds to be upset. If you simply ask a women her OPINION on threesomes then she has a lot less grounds to be upset, and even if she does become upset you can simply play it off as a social error, no offence intended.

 

WHEN SHOULD I TELL HER I LIKE GROUP SEX?

 

Well if you have followed the steps above then.

 

You have met a women / you have found she is open minded to the idea of group sex, or at least not totally disgusted by the idea.

 

In which case I'd continue dating her for a week or two and THEN tell her that actually you like the idea of group sex / that its something you want.

 

That basically I do believe in been HONEST and giving this person the facts from month one.

 

I'd rather sit down with a women and simply say this is me / these are my desires / this is what I'd like us to do if we became a couple / are you okay with that / could you handle that, ECT.

 

Honestly I prefer to do this fast because if it becomes totally clear that this women will NEVER handle this situation or even try then its a lot easier to walk away after just a week than walking away after you have been dating this women a year.

 

However you do have to be careful here, very careful in fact.

 

Because at this point you do have two clear objectives, both which kind of counter act each other in some respects, but basically your objectives are:

 

A) To tell this new women in a very friendly, clear, confident, none offensive way that YES you do like group sex. YES you would like to have group sex in your future / in your relationship / that in the future and if this relationship progresses that you would like HER to be your group sex partner. Would she be okay with that? Could she accept that? What initial thoughts or questions does she have? What initial information does she need?

 

B) NOT to overload your relationship with nothing but threesome talk, not to spend days on end just talking about fucking other people, not to spoil the entire start of your relationship by making it all about threesome talk.

 

 

HOW SHOULD YOU TELL A WOMEN THAT YOU LIKE GROUP SEX?

 

Well in my opinion the timing is vital aspect that is often overlooked.

 

Perhaps the easiest way for me to explain this is by giving two example:

 

ADAM – Is a man in his late 30's and he decides to ask his wife about threesomes. One day Adam's wife walks in from work, she has had a really tough busy day, she find the house is a mess and she has to clean up half Adam's shit before she can even sit down.

 

She has been upset of late her mother is sick and things at work are not going well, she really doesn't like her new manager and if that's not bad enough they just cancelled her holiday that she requested meaning she can't go to her friend birthday party.

 

In a really nervous way Adam sits down his wife and proceed to blurb out some really under confident rubbish about wanting to fuck other people, and sure his wife goes nuts.

 

BEN – Is a guy in his late 30's and he wants to ask his wife about group sex, however Ben isn't a stupid guy, in fact before he does anything he begins to research, he begins to read forums, read swinging success and horror stories / read peoples questions / he begins to plan what he will say to his partner / what positive facts he will bring to the table / and he doesn't just think this shit he actually makes bullet points and plan what he is going to say.

 

Ben knows that his wife sometimes feel down about house work, so for 3 or 4 weeks leading up to asking his wife Ben makes an extra effort in the house. Suddenly his wife is walking in the door from work expecting to spend a few hours cleaning and NOPE its already been done babes, here you have a sit down, do you want a drink or bath running?

 

Suddenly his wife is feeling more relaxed, each night she has just had that hour or two longer than usual, that hour or two where she can relax, do the things she likes, simply read a book or watch a film and it begins to de-stress her. Ben also knows his wife has recently had problems at work and with her mother been sick, however Ben has been clever and waited for a time where those issues have got better, he has pick the best most low stress moment to ask.

 

For 3 or 4 weeks leading up to asking his wife Ben has not only been planning what he will say, not only has been helping around the house, but he has also been doing a LOT of other things as well.

 

In fact Ben has finally painted that spare room so his wife can set up an office and yoga area, he has finally cleaned all the garden so his wife can have friends around if she wants or simply sit in the sun outside reading a book. He has even made sure his wife eats well, plenty of good freshly cooked food that are packed with vitamins.

 

Maybe Ben has actually stuck his hand in his pocket and re-decorated the bedroom, that sure before his bedroom was a dirty scuffed white that looked awful, and now its been turned into a much cleaner / slightly darker more romantic room.

 

(Take me for example - My bedroom: Romantic passionate coloured walls / dimmable walls lights / dimmable ceiling lights / super king size solid oak bed / restraint rings on the walls / panic alarm switch which sets off our entire burglar alarm / dead bolts on the door to make it a panic room / nice clean bedding / secure blinds and curtains / fans / heaters / TV / ECT)

 

Ben has actually made his home better / he has shown positive step forward / he has used this decorating time as a team building exercise with his wife, and sure Ben's wife now has a bedroom she could be proud of, something that is a lot nicer, cleaner and more relaxed than before.

 

Ben knows timing will matter so he looks at his wife's calendar and notices that she has two days off at the end of the week and doesn't have anything planned. For the next 3 or 4 days Ben makes sure all the jobs are done / he makes sure all the bins are empty / the cat litter is empty / the pots are washed / the laundry baskets are empty / all the bedding is clean and changed.

 

Ben wants his wife to talk in on Friday night to find 0% house work and a nice cooked meal, he wants to do nothing else but treat her nice, and sure he pours her a glass of wine, runs a bath and puts on some nice light music. He talks with his wife, asks how her day has been, lets her spend an entire hour just venting about all the crap at her work.

 

He pours her another glass of wine and sends her off to the bath, perhaps after the bath he gives her a back massage and by 11:45 she is basically snuggled up in a clean bed and is totally relaxed and will probably have a nice nights sleep and wake up feeling good.

 

She wakes up at 6.30am to find Ben has done something, or is planning something a little dynamic. Maybe he is cooking a nice breakfast. Maybe he is planning to take her for breakfast in the city or have a walk in the park or a picnic together.

 

Ben wants some positive energy today, he wants his partner to feel loved, secure, happy and that doesn't means spending $2,000 on gifts, it just means doing something nice together, paying her attention, providing a relaxed stress free morning, ECT.

 

Ben perhaps cooks his wife a really nice breakfast before they head out into the city, perhaps they look at a few nice shops, perhaps they have a coffee at the cafe his wife likes, perhaps his wife get one or two treats nothing stupid but maybe a few books to read or something for her yoga.

 

On the way back home Ben says “It been such a lovely morning, and its a really nice day, shall we stop off at the park on the way home and if your a good girl I'll buy you a ice cream, come on it will be fun?”

 

They pull up at a local park and take a nice walk, and actually this is ALL part of Ben's master plan, because sure Ben finds the most private stop possible, that he walks to end of the field where no one else bothers going and maybe he throws a blanket on the ground, and sits down in the sun with his partner and simply begin chatting.

 

Now at this stage Ben has chatted for a while, his partner seems in a really good mood, she is relaxed, she is off work, her stress levels are about as low as possible and at this point Ben chooses to ask his partner about threesomes.

 

However he starts by pacing reality, he starts by saying something like:

 

“Well there is something I have been meaning to speak with you about but don't worry I don't think its anything bad haha. Guess this is a strange question but you do agree that we are private right now don't you? I mean you do agree we could talk about sensitive stuff? I mean look there is no one else even here, we could probably shout and no one would hear us, do you agree with that statement?”

 

Ben already knows that some women get totally freaked out if you even mention anything sexual in public, Ben knows he needs this women to acknowledge that they are alone / they can speak in private. However Ben also knows its NOT a good idea to have this conversation in your HOME.

 

He knows that if he has this conversation in his HOUSE then his partner might react a lot worse, that if his partner takes the news badly she will instantly imagine other women in her house, will instantly start thinking....

 

“What? What the fuck Ben you want to bring women and men into THIS HOUSE and fuck them? You want to sit total strangers on THIS SOFA and give them oral sex? What where my fucker mother sits when she comes to visit? You want to fuck another women IN OUR BED?!!!!!!”

 

Ben knows that if asking his partner goes wrong he doesn't want that argument staining his living room walls. I am unsure if this makes sense but if someone was murdered in your living room then would it still be a living room, or would it be a living room that some dude got murdered in?

 

If you argue in your living room, then is it still a living room or is it the living room where my perverted husband asked to fuck other women?

 

Ben knows all of that shit is better done OUT of the house. With this in mind he has found a really private spot, he has asked his partner permission to speak about a private subject, he has asked to confirm that they are in private / that no one can hear them / he has picked a good low stress day to ask his partner / he has worked hard to help create this relaxed state.

 

Then he begins to explain his desires about group sex to his partner. However like stated Ben has actually planned what he will say. He has practised it / memorised a lot of it / and he has taken the time to research the subject.

 

Now hopefully what Ben delivers is a fun, confident, none hostile, but very detailed explantation. That Ben knows his partner might be very worried about hearing this news, however he has prepared enough information, enough positive facts that within a single conversation he can actually put a lot of her worries to rest BEFORE SHE EVEN HAS THEM.

 

Some of what Ben might say could be things like.....

 

“We could use condoms, could easily protect ourselves from STD's / can easily get tested and keep our health checks up regular / that this would be a totally private situation / no one else would ever know / this could bring more fun and friendship into our lives / no one is expecting you to be a sex guru or sex maniac / this is not a porn film just normal people having sex / I'd not leave you / ECT, ECT, ECT”

 

This way his partner sits listening to this explanation and might suddenly think.....

 

“Oh no what if someone finds out?” Oh wait he has just said all of this would be private and we would tell another soul.

 

“Oh no what if I am expected to be like some porn star?” Oh wait he has just said I don't.

 

Ben has created enough information that he can basically speak with his partner for maybe 1 hour and actually answer about 50% of her worries / concerns / and questions before she even asks them which make her feel reassured and shows that Ben knows what he is talking about.

 

Ben tries to keep this conversation happy, fun, but heavily informative, he then answers any of her questions / gives any further information that is needed / and then asks what his partner thinks. From there GOOD OR BAD they head off home and have a nice evening.

 

.

.

.

.

 

Guess that explanation was all over the place, in reality it doesn't matter if your asking your wife, girlfriend, someone you have recently began dating, it still pays to pick the right time, to pick the right low stress / low responsibility time to speak about this, and if at all possible somewhere outside of your house, somewhere private enough where you can speak.

 

In some cases I have used quiet country pubs / quiet coffee shops / for example a coffee shop near me has two floors, and the upstairs floor is virtually always empty in the evening.

 

I think the biggest mistake men make here is asking their partner at the wrong time, in the wrong setting. Like stated a lot of guys will pick a fairly high stress time to ask / will speak about it in their home dragging all of this straight into the walls they live in everyday.

 

In some cases a man will end up asking his wife/girlfriend about this when she is actually upset with him about something else. That really under the surface she is fuming because her partner has left her with 3 huge baskets of laundry and an entire sink of dirty pots to wash, and now he is asking to bring in other people so he can laze around fucking them whilst I do all the tidying, I don't fucking think so, no way that's ever happening!

 

Before asking any women this try to find out certain things.

 

Is she stressed at work? Is any of her family sick? Is she worried about a friend? Is she having some kind of money issues or life crisis? Is it 2 days away from her dead grandmothers birthday? Is today the same day her cat got ran over last year?

 

Picking the right time to speak about this will really help your chances, and remember we are not really talking about a romantic situation, your not asking this person to marry you. In this case it does not need to be a romantic setting, just a private setting where your partner feels comfy talking about more risky things.

 

In a lot of men's cases they have been with their partner years before they ask her about group sex. However in other cases if your a single man then I'd make my intention cleat and honest from the start, but either way the above information might help.

 

I mean it doesn't matter if your asking your wife than you have been married to for 20 years or the new girl you have known 2 months, still picking a low stress / positive / healthy time to ask will do you massive favours.

 

 

WARNINGS & OTHER THINGS.

 

Well like stated at the start this subject can run a lot deeper, and in your cases your a single man and your looking for a relationship / women to date who would act as your swinging partner, in which case there are some things you should know.

 

LIARS: Firstly please let me assure you that if you meet a women and ask her about threesomes then a HUGE AMOUNT of women will actually LIE directly to your face.

 

Imagine the scene, you meet a new women, you date her for maybe a few weeks, or maybe even six months when suddenly you ask her about threesomes?

 

Now this women hasn't known you long and sure she wants to sound like a cool open minded person, she wants you to think that she is open minded / sexual / interested in sex so when you do ask this women if she will have threesomes with you? Then they will usually say....

 

“YES...... But in the future”

 

“YES..... But not now, when our relationship is more established”

 

You are happy that this women has said YES and sadly over the next year or two things happen, she moves into your house, you maybe get engaged, maybe plan a weeding, maybe have a child and then all of sudden that group sex idea you mentioned is straight out the window.

 

That sure they said YES but now 6 months later now they have moved in your house they are screaming at you for even mentioning the subject, that they refuse point blank that they ever said yes, that basically they just told you whatever you wanted to hear so they sounded cool at the start of your relationship, and now in essence your kind of stick with them.

 

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

 

Well what I'd like you to do is to create / think about a RED FLAG SYSTEM.

 

Let me give you some examples:

 

You ask this women about threesomes and whilst she says YES she seems really nervous, doesn't really give any big answers, doesn't seem that excited or interested by the idea, doesn't have many follow up questions, seems to give very simple snap fire answers to things, isn't really engaging you in conversation about the topic but more giving one line answers to any question you ask, then sure that is your FIRST RED FLAG.

 

If whenever you talk to this women just about SEX. Not about group sex, just normal everyday vanilla sex in your relationship she becomes shy / she giggles all the time / goes quiet / again just doesn't seem interested in sex at all really / that she is more attracted to the love, romance, dating, getting married side than anything sexual, that she just doesn't seem interested at all in speaking about sex, not even normal sex in your relationship, RED FLAG TWO.

 

If you walk in a room and she is naked she panics and quickly grabs a towel to cover herself up. If she is laid on the bed naked and you walk in the room she quickly covers her body in some kind of fear or self shame. That often if you tell he she is beautiful / sexy / attractive she doesn't take the compliments well and seems to back away from them, RED FLAG THREE.

 

If you attend her house and stay over a few times and you actually find this women has no condoms stashed in her bedroom draw / no sex toys / no lube / no sexual interest whatsoever. That you actually ask her about these things, do you have any sex toys? Condom? Do you watch porn? Basically to hear her giggle and say “No silly I don't have things like that” then basically you already know sex is not on this women's priority list. RED FLAG FOUR.

 

If you notice this women is always speaking badly about people, that if you speak about her last 2 or 3 boyfriends then for the better part they all get described as idiots / pathetic / lazy / dumb / cheaters / liars then be very fucking careful because a year later she will be calling you the exact same things. If you meet a women and all she does is slag off her friends behind their backs / speak horribly about people at her work / say nasty things about her own family members / describe every past boyfriend as been a dickhead, then MAJOR RED FLAG FIVE.

 

This is not a joke, its happened to me 2 or 3 times in my life. I meet a women, we begin dating, she fully 100% agrees to explore group sex with me, a year later she moves in and suddenly turns out she has been lying to me for a year just because she wanted to sound like a cool open minded person when we first met, and now she has moved in she HATES the idea of group sex.

 

MIND CHANGERS:

 

This really is very similar to the above, however you need to understand that women very often change their minds about this subject, and often when they do change their minds it never means anything good for you and is usually a 100% permanent change.

 

What does this mean.

 

Okay two quick examples:

 

1 – A women promises you group sex / says yes to group sex / moves into your house / gets her feet in the door / then when asked about group sex simply says....

 

“Oh yeah sorry I have changed my mind now”

 

2 – You meet a women and everything goes perfectly well, she fully agrees to group sex, you date for several years and end up trying some threesomes, and sure for the next 2 or 3 years you are blown away, this hot sexy women that your dating basically gives you whatever threesomes you want, men, women, couples, whatever you want, then suddenly one day wakes up and says.

 

“You know what I have changed my mind, I don't want to do this any more”

 

Honestly in my experience a lot of wives / girlfriend do end up trying this subject and about 99% of them end up changing their minds within the first few months / years.

 

LOYALTY AND SEX:

 

I must admit this is another area that can be very difficult for some men.

 

I mean if you asked your average man what a good wife would be, then what would they say?

 

Sexy / loyal / caring / honest / fun / loving / horny / attractive, ECT, ECT.

 

You know some men would go straight down the route of.....

 

Good cook / good cleaner / loyal wife / good mother / blarrr blarrr blarrr.

 

You know most men by their mid 30's are looking to settle down, they are looking for a nice clean women, someone who will be loyal, someone who wants that forever relationship, someone who does have these good qualities, you know that great loving wife.

 

However they are also looking for a wife who will happily fuck 2,3,4 people a time, they are looking for a wife who enjoys sex / values sex / puts sex as a priority / in an ideal world they are looking for a wife who wants a LOT OF SEX, who is just as happy sucking a dick as she is licking a pussy.

 

I mean come on guys what are we looking for? We are looking to see our girlfriend eating our cum out of another girls pussy. We are looking for this nice / honest / loyal / clean / stable women for this loving life long relationship, just one who doesn't mind riding massive black dicks every week that your married.

 

Sure a lot of men head out looking for a RELATIONSHIP, that loyal wife, that honest partner, but also want a women who loves sex, so can you see how those two clash?

 

If you think about your average women who is interested in sex / who likes sex / who has explored sexually a fair bit / then sure you do understand that you can start a relationship with these women and within there phone alone they probably have numbers for 20 / 30 guys they have slept with over the last 10 years. That they have numbers for other couples / fuck buddies / old flames / stalker types / violent ex boyfriends / and just guys trying to hit on them.

 

I have met these women, I have met women who have been happy to explore group sex with me, eager to explore sex, and sure that is fine as long as your okay with the other 27 guys that message them every week asking for sex as well.

 

I also find that very often women who do like sex usually have some bad ghosts in their past. This could have been an abusive family / sexual abuse / drugs / violence or whatever else. However very often this also comes in the form of ex lovers and boyfriends.

 

For example you meet a girl called Bella, yet her ex boyfriend was actually a drug dealer who drives around carrying knives or guns. Also the insane guy she dated five years ago is still in love with her and asks for her back about 4 or 5 times a year, and sure he is a champion kick boxer.

 

Usually with such women there are 2 or 3 dark bad men in the past, and about 3 or 4 active men, plus countless more men basically standing in line. Some of these women will have over 1,500 men just on Face Book alone, all hunky random men form their city, all young and looking for sex and sure you will find women lie about these men all the time.

 

Honestly form my experience (in the UK) I'd say these days you meet a young women aged maybe (20 to 35) and you begin dating her. She will perhaps tell you about her friends, she will describe various MALE FRIENDS in her life, these been JUST FRIENDS.

 

Then after a few months dating her it comes out that actually these MALE FRIENDS are not really just friends at all. That several of them are ex boyfriends that she is still in communication with / several of them are men she has simply had sex with / some of them are men she is currently having sex with / and the vast majority that are left are simply men hoping for sex one day.

 

Forgive me if that sounds bad / sexist / against women in any respect because God knows us men can be just as bad. However yes this does make finding a HONEST partner, but also one who is SEXUAL a fair challenge.

 

If you are following me then this creates a clash of worlds, for example some men would get really upset if they found their girlfriend was talking with her ex boyfriends all the time. Some men would get upset if their girlfriend was getting asked for sex all the time by the guys she calls JUST FRIENDS. Sure some guys would hit the roof know you sat their eating Christmas dinner and your girlfriend ex boyfriend is sending her dick pics.

 

But sure I have met girls who like sex and most of the time you end with the girl who likes sex and her last 3 boyfriends / 2 lovers / and 1287 followers been dragged into your life. You can date this girl for 5 years, 10 years and she will still be sat there reading a dick picture form one of her ex boyfriends who just thought he's try on his luck again for the 124th time this year.

 

Sure finding a women who is stable and loyal enough for a relationship, but also one who doesn't mind orgies and gang bangs isn't an easy task!

 

In most cases you could say a women ends up been.

 

Really loyal, but not really into things like this.

 

In sex, but not that loyal.

 

Funny really I'm getting old now but I look back over my entire life and I honestly don't think I have ever dated a women who hasn't dragged some ex partners into my life. These days via technology they all come directly connected on a 24/7 basis to the last 10 or 20 guys they have slept with, all loaded up in phones / emails / dating sites / chat programs ECT.

 

I sometimes find it extremely annoying that if a women messages me its a big deal, but all along the women in my life can sit there chatting away whenever she wants with the last 2 or 3 boyfriends, most of which are still offering her sex.

 

I have bought houses with women, I have dated them for years, have had okay relationships at times, and sure still 5 years later your sat there getting a happy Christmas dick pic sent to your partners phone from some ex she still talks to, or some old fuck buddy who tries in on every year.

 

Obviously plenty of good loyal women exist in the world, but finding one who is stable and loyal enough, but also sexual enough and open minded enough to jump into this lifestyle with you in quick fashion won't be easy.

 

I think a lot of swingers end up been fundamentally loyal people, but just really horny people, they aren't that easy to find, usually people end up been one of the other.

 

OVERALL

 

My advice would be to find out if a women is open minded towards this lifestyle before you start dating her. If she is open minded to this idea then find out what type of relationship she wants, does she just want a friendship with you where you fuck / does she want a short relationship with you / does she want a big proper relationship with you.

 

If you ask a women what her longest relationship is and its really short then don't be expecting this women to be with your forever, I mean MAYBE, but chances are not.

 

Its a funny situation, on one hand you the loving and loyal partner, you want the team mate, you want the proper relationship and nice happy future. But you also want group sex as well and usually you only end up getting one.

 

The vast majority of men in this world face that exact same choice at some point, in most guys cases they simply end up with a wife who WONT do group sex. Some men end up with women who will do group sex but also end up hurting their live sin various other ways. Then the lucky few actually do end up meeting a good stable and loyal wife, but also a really fun sexual person who enjoy sharing as a couple.

 

Yes my advice is to find out QUICK.

 

Find out if this women is open minded about group sex / if she is actually interested in sex / if they is supporting evidence that she is interested in sex / let her know your feelings early.

 

However from there take everything else SUPER SLOW.

 

Don't meet a women and then be moving her into your house 6 months later all on some magical promise that one day she might try threesomes. The best possible situation would be to date this women for about two years during which you experience group sex together in a good healthy way and she is okay with it continuing, then look at moving in together or whatever.

 

I once new a totally stunning girl, and honestly looking back now I was SUCH A FOOL in fact honestly the girl of my dreams was basically standing in front of me for years and I couldn't even see it. I mean she was dating a friend at the time, me and her were also friends so it all just seemed off limits, years later I began to discover that she is not only 100% totally loyal to her husband, but is totally 100% into other women joining them.

 

She literally wants it / arranges it / asks for it. Sure the lucky bastard who married her basically walks in from walk and his this sexy women on her knees saying “Can we pweeeesss have our girlfriend round tonight?” Literally as a couple they meet a girl and just end up having threesome sex with her for years on end, no drama, no fuss, no break ups, and its intensive, I mean for about 6 years one of these girls lived with them.

 

There are these girls out there but honestly they are 1 in a million. That is not a lie either, I mean sure a huge amount of women might agree to try a threesome, or might have a short bursts of threesomes over a year or two, but only a very small amount of women actually have the sex drive, confidence, self esteem to actually make this work on a ongoing basis.

 

Like stated perhaps 98% of women who try this will turn away from it totally within a few years.

 

The other thing you need to watch for is HOW MUCH you do this.

 

If I asked your average guy how much he would like to fuck two women then he would probably say “Eerrrmmm every night please? / As much as I want? / As much as humanly possible?”

 

Where honestly your average women doesn't want to spend all her time doing nothing but group sex, talking about / thinking about / organising nothing else but sex, sex, sex.

 

Honestly I don't really want to spend 4 hours a day talking about planning the dream wedding, most women don't want their entire lives taken up with nothing but sex.

 

In my personal experience the longer you wait to commit the better, that the ideal situation would be a period of “Dating” for at least 2 years before you make any big choices. It seems certain commitment choices can JOLT / SHOCK the relationship or change views.

 

For example you could meet a really gorgeous women and begin dating, you could explore group sex 100% fine, but the moment that dating to turns into love / turns into living together then suddenly the women loses interest in the group sex part.

 

I n some respects you could say its easier to have threesomes at the start, that you have little to lose, but sure 10 years later when you have bought a house together / had a child together / then suddenly the commitment is even more real, you have even more to lose.

 

I'd say at least at first the more commitment you put onto the relationship the harder this becomes, if your the type of guy who meets a women and within 2 or 3 months is speaking about true love / moving in together / planning a family then sure maybe it would be best for you to wait 10 years before asking your wife.

 

Think its really frustrating for older guys 35+ because really you don't want to wait around, you end up single in your mid 30's and really you want a partner, you want someone to love and be happy with, but also wants to explore group sex with this new person that you love, that really you don't really have the time to wait around 10 years waiting to see if she will says yes or no.

 

Sure people speak of grand relationship, huge marriages, those couples who have been together 15 years before they even started swinging, I mean yeah great I haven't got time to wait until I'm 70 simply to get to know someone and hope one day they might say yes.

 

If you do meet someone fast, if you do end up jumping into threesomes fast don't expect the relationship to be lasting forever. If it does then great, but be prepared for it not to.

[Wornsilver 219]

Holy smokes.

[Sunday 119]

Hey.....

 

Firstly well done on stepping back from the dating scene and focussing on yourself for a while, that will have seriously helped your chances of finding a better relationship and is a positive thing.

 

Secondly, you have touched on a subject that I feel fairly strongly about, as please believe me navigating this situation incorrectly can have disastrous consequences for your life, in fact the question you are asking is only scratching the surface of issues that go much deeper.

 

However to answer your question:

 

When is the best time to tell a women your dating that you like group sex?

 

Well the short answer would be............... NOT YET / MAYBE NEVER!!!!!

 

Okay what do I mean?

 

Well this is explanation contains several areas such as:

 

A) Firstly it is MUCH BETTER for you and everyone involved if you can identify if this women is open minded to the idea of threesomes and group sex o.

 

[couplers 4,180]

..."what do you think of people who swing"? ...

 

This, by the way, if basically how my wife brought the idea to me. I initially thought it was a trick question but decided to say that I would be willing to investigate the question.

 

I was still having sex with my ex-fiance when I started dating (and fucking) the man who would become my husband. He knew about me and my ex, and was cool with it. When he asked to marry me, I thought that was a trick question and didn't respond. When he asked again a couple of days later, I "... decided to say that I would be willing to investigate the question."