When You're Enjoying an MFM, How Do You Handle the Initial Meeting?

[AngelandTiger 364]

Hi all,

 

We've been in the lifestyle for over 10 years now, and as much as I LOVE to watch my wife fucking someone, I've always felt pretty awkward during the initial arrival at his home, or his initial arrival in ours. Specifically, we come to the door, walk in, exchange pleasantries, and then my wife and he often exchange a very long and sexual kiss...etc. This isn't with one specific guy, it's just how things roll. Once we move to the living room with drinks,and it's time for play to begin, my wife will often begin by kissing the guy, then slowly undoing his pants and sucking, caressing and licking his cock. Things tend to progress, he undresses her fully or partially, and we move to the bedroom. I enjoy watching, but during the time they are "getting acquainted" in the living room, and the first moments in the bedroom, I often feel like a "third wheel" for a bit, and am self-conscious about just standing (or sitting) there and "gawking" (my term, I'm not really leering at them in a creepy way.....LOL). Once in the bedroom, I never know when the best moment to join them is; I want to give her some time to enjoy him, but I don't want to be left out of the festivities either....

 

I've handled this in different ways over the years, but it still tends to give me a bit of a pause as they go at it passionately, which I LOVE to see because it is such an incredible turnon-mix of love, envy, jealousy and sexual excitement.

 

So, how do the other experienced males and females (ladies opinions are especially welcome) deal with the "beginnings" of a play date? How does it make you feel?

 

We love any form of play date, be it MFM, FMF,MFMF or even more. The lifestyle has brought us together in ways that would have been impossible otherwise.

 

Thanks for your help, opinions, advice....perhaps others are wondering the same?

 

T

[adamgunn 1,460]

Experienced MFM husband here. We always begin with a new guy at a bar, coffee shop or other vanilla place. The three of us talk about normal things, weather, sports, movies, stuff like that. That gives us a chance for all three of us to become comfortable with each other. Then when we get to a private spot such as our home, we're all ready for it to get going.

 

When they're having those first passionate moments, I'll take pictures (I always get his permission beforehand.) That does a couple of things. It takes my mind a little bit off what's going on, as I'm concentrating on photo angles and such. It gives us a souvenir of the night.

[Guest]

Most of ours have been guys that we start chatting with us at some bar. Sometimes, we’ve never seen them before, sometimes we’ve chatted before. If I have interest, I kind of take over the chat, my husband, David, becomes less involved in it for a while, and I turn it to flirt. When I turn it further, to more seduction, I bring my husband back into it so it is clear, I am seducing both of them. Some touchy feely activity may get started at the bar but eventually we move to his hotel room or ours. Many times, once inside I kiss our new friend and then my husband and back again. My husband may help undress me, for example pull down my top or open it, very much exposing my breasts as I turn to our friend. I continue to try to keep both men involved in that manner so our friend knows absolutely that it is very much about both men doing me. Also I really enjoy that being the center of that foreplay, for example having a man on each breast or one one a breast, the other going down on me or kissing me. Sometimes David will withdraw,perhaps using the bathroom as an excuse. Sometimes he just moves back for a bit, I guess and watches while I am undressed. When he returns or gets back into it, he typically takes the part of me not being used by the friend; i.e. if the friend has gone down on me, he’ll kiss me or I’ll begin to suck him.

[Fla-swing99 136]

Most of ours have been guys that we start chatting with us at some bar. Sometimes, we’ve never seen them before, sometimes we’ve chatted before. If I have interest, I kind of take over the chat, my husband, David, becomes less involved in it for a while, and I turn it to flirt. When I turn it further, to more seduction, I bring my husband back into it so it is clear, I am seducing both of them. Some touchy feely activity may get started at the bar but eventually we move to his hotel room or ours. Many times, once inside I kiss our new friend and then my husband and back again. My husband may help undress me, for example pull down my top or open it, very much exposing my breasts as I turn to our friend. I continue to try to keep both men involved in that manner so our friend knows absolutely that it is very much about both men doing me. Also I really enjoy that being the center of that foreplay, for example having a man on each breast or one one a breast, the other going down on me or kissing me. Sometimes David will withdraw,perhaps using the bathroom as an excuse. Sometimes he just moves back for a bit, I guess and watches while I am undressed. When he returns or gets back into it, he typically takes the part of me not being used by the friend; i.e. if the friend has gone down on me, he’ll kiss me or I’ll begin to suck him.

 

Chiccouplexx sounds like they handle things the same way my husband and I do. Ditto to their post. I feel it's important to make sure both the men are completely involved. My husband has been known to take a few minutes and step back simply to enjoy watching me with the other man or to take pictures or video (of course with everyones permission) then rejoining the activity. Everyone stays involved, no one feels left out and we all leave happy.

[bbarnsworth 2,636]

I'll echo a lot of what's been said. And like adamgunn said, experienced MFM husband here. Like chiccouplexx, I'll sometimes initiate things by beginning to undress my wife for him, with her facing the other fellow. That's never failed as a cue for him to begin playing with her. My wife enjoys me being directly involved. I do de-prioritize myself in it, making way for the other fellow. I want my wife to enjoy him as much as possible, and don't want to interfere with that. If I haven't moved off for a while to just enjoy the view, then I am wherever the other fellow isn't. My wife very much enjoys having the attentions of two men at once. When we first got into this ten+ years ago, she wanted me to always be directly involved. Now she understand I really do sometimes just enjoy watching her have sex with another man. Sometimes that's easier for her to focus fully on the other man for a while.

[Numex 2,364]

... Now she understand I really do sometimes just enjoy watching her have sex with another man. Sometimes that's easier for her to focus fully on the other man for a while.

When it's me in an MFM situation, whether with my wife or another woman, I prefer going second because it's more exciting to watch pre-orgasm than after the post-cum let down. Whether we double team her in any way for any time is always totally up to her. It's both watching a woman enjoy her self and how she responds that's a turn on for me, but I'm also thinking about how it will be with me and her, getting the sloppy seconds.

[bbarnsworth 2,636]

When it's me in an MFM situation, whether with my wife or another woman, I prefer going second because it's more exciting to watch pre-orgasm than after the post-cum let down. Whether we double team her in any way for any time is always totally up to her. It's both watching a woman enjoy her self and how she responds that's a turn on for me, but I'm also thinking about how it will be with me and her, getting the sloppy seconds.

 

I too prefer going second in an MFM. I very much enjoy watching my wife have sex when I'm in the post-cum let down, but it's far better before. My wife's had two long term boyfriends whom we've allowed to play with her without condoms. I know some guys might be weirded out by the idea, but I love having sex with my wife after her boyfriend has cum inside of her. Intensely erotic! She loves having multiple men cum in her, so it's a win-win for us.

[Numex 2,364]

... I know some guys might be weirded out by the idea, but I love having sex with my wife after her boyfriend has cum inside of her. Intensely erotic! She loves having multiple men cum in her, so it's a win-win for us.

Same for us. It totally goes against the myth that a woman is somehow being "used up" or lessened by fucking other men. It makes my wife happy, it seems totally natural, and she is a better wife and sex partner for doing it. Being in there immediately afterwards is a reminder of all this.

[AngelandTiger 364]

Great answers folks! Appreciate all the responses and all the thought that went into them! Keep em' coming!

 

T

[EastInWest 1,524]

Much like the others, we found getting the conversation veering off to her body and giving her an excuse to undress a little works to break the ice.

 

She's gotten a lot more comfortable with her body and the go-to topic is either the gym or clothing. Get her top off to show off her bra and it's going to be a pretty direct line to getting her bra off and her breasts in a playmate's hands or mouth. She likes picking out bras for date nights out-of-town on the possibility someone new might see them now, it's a cute game even if we don't usually follow through.

 

Once she's got everything warmed up, everybody's proven savvy enough that there's no surprises about me joining in.

[Guest]

I have some serious advice on this one. Some definite do's and don'ts. Never, never, never have your husband direct or engineer the situation...never! Don't let him undress you or present you. Don't let him tell you or your guest what to do...never! First, a new lover, a third, is going to take the lead from your husband if allowed. He will become the second "dog" in the room and always be hesitant. You want your guest to be the first, most important, and feel like they can completely let go when having sex. Sooooo, the woman has to take the lead. Always, or it will never be as good as it could be. 

 

I always dress to be accessible and sexual. When a lover arrives, my husband will sit in a club chair and the only other option is for our guest is to sit with me on the couch. I sit right up next to them to let them know I am available and want them. My husband will get up and make drinks for us. That's when I give them indirect permission to fuck me. I will usually ask them if they like how I look and what I am wearing. They always like and if they mention they like my heels or stockings or outfit, I'll ask them if they want me to leave them on when we fuck. I'll ask them if they like to kiss and if they do I'll tell them to kiss me. 

 

When my husband returns with drinks we make small talk. I'll let my hands wander on to him and I'll take their hand and put it up my dress or skirt. Then I turn and whisper in their ear...let me know when you think my pussy is ready. After that it is really up to me or the guy to make the move. I normally will just take them by the hand and lead them to the bedroom. And I'll tell my husband to give us a few minutes to get to know each other. At this point, my new lover isn't thinking about my husband at all and will do whatever I want. Again, you never, never, never want the guy to be serving your husband. You have to be super careful about the signals that are sent or it will become mechanical and the sex won't be uninhibited. 

 

 

[adamgunn 1,460]

FullSwap, that's some decent advice, except . . .

 

When we have a man over for the first time, it often gets a little awkward. Mary's not sure, the man doesn't have a clue. So I take the bull by the horns as they're talking about the Fall of Greece or something. I'll stand Mary up, have her face him, and from behind I'll slowly pull her top and skirt off, a strip. By the time she's down to bra and panties, the guy's got it figured out, he usually takes it from there.

[vicintx 19]

To be honest we have been doing this for quit awhile (swinging) and love and enjoy our fore-sums so much , however we have only had a few MFM only, and each time has been different set of circumstances, which in itself made it exciting. One of the thrilling and most enjoyable things about swinging is watching your spouse with another partner. Sorry we can't be as exciting as most of you have been about your MFM, but we have enjoyed reading and learning from all your comments thanks you all.

[couplers 4,564]

On 11/3/2019 at 2:54 PM, AngelandTiger said:

When You're Enjoying an MFM, How Do You Handle the Initial Meeting?

Let her decide, including if there is to be some alone time and when the husband joins in, and what role.  It's for the woman's pleasure and comfort.

 

For me, however, only playing with the same three guys (and two women) any arrangement is pretty easy.  We know each others preferences and easily accommodate them, but the women make the final decisions because, we can.

[twohots4u2 188]

Whenever we swing we meet the folks in a restaurant for lunch or dinner first, get to know them, and  then go to a nearby hotel room to play.  When we get into the hotel room, her rules are that everyone gets nude and pair off into groups on the beds.  If it is an MFM she likes to be in the middle on the bed and both guys kiss, give her foreplay, and oral until she has a climax.  Then, the guys do whatever she wants.  

 

The key points are to get to know each other first, get nude in the hotel room, and let nature take its course.

[adamgunn 1,460]

twohot, in my mind what you've said is a little contradictory.

 

First you say, "Then, the guys do whatever she wants" then, " let nature take its course" If they guys are adhering to her desires, it seems to me they are not being as free to explore as they might otherwise be. 

It may just be the way you phrased it that's confusing me . . .