Above average looking?

[enhancer 1,582]

How do you feel about people that list themselves as above average looking or attractive on their profile?

 

Does it make you more interested in them knowing they have already decided for you on how attractive they are?

 

Or maybe it makes you think that these people are full of themselves, going to be extremely picky and are only looking for Ken and Barbie?

 

Personally we like to decide for ourselves on how attractive people are and tend to find people that are maybe just a little bit humble to be more attractive when meeting them in person!

[a_d_xxx 663]

Personally we put very little weight on any single profile statistic since we've only ever discovered a 'match' through face to face meetings.

 

Ultimately I think reading too much into a single profile choice is a little dangerous and interpreting their decision to make one checkbox selection over another as meaning something deeply significant about their personalties is going to backfire far more often than not.

 

D

[Fundamental Law 2,882]

Attractive and "above-average looking" are not the same. Attraction might be based on appearance (visual) but usually includes the other senses and, more importantly, how they combine into a presentation. Moreover, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". People who look after themselves, their partner, are confident and so on carry greater significance with us than approximations to statues (Classical Greek or plastic Mattel). As the OP suggested, humility can be very attractive. Humility is different than modesty. Humility reflects a world-view characterized by openness and willingness to experience. Modesty is a self-view.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

My experience tells me that the statement "better than average looks" is almost always found in an on-line profile having no pictures.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I am interested in people who express their feelings instead of someone trying to "sell" themselves as being above average looking or attractive. What does that mean? "I'm amazing and you won't be disappointed" ... Seriously?

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I hear what you're saying, enhancer. Seeing that kind of thing in a profile doesn't really score any points with me, either! On the other hand, that statement, in and of itself, doesn't automatically exclude them from being considered. We've gotten used to the fact that there is plenty of imprecise writing in online profiles, and it's possible that the writer did not mean to convey the overdone self-confidence that such a statement implies. I think I would tend to step back after reading the whole profile, and try to form an overall sense of the people from everything they wrote, as well as their pictures.

 

Now if the rest of the profile was filled with braggadocio about how many times a day they hit the gym, how hot everybody says they are, how they need people they meet to be trim and fit, then I will pass. We don't need that kind of pressure! Also, a profile that focuses a lot on their own appearance tells me that they are looking for model types (which we are not, "though lots of people say we're really hot", j/k), and may not be people who care about the person inside the body. This is not the kind of people we're likely to click with anyway.

[enhancer 1,582]

Yes CoupleInMD79 most of time their profiles will have more about how many times they go to the gym and just how all around special they are! Also something about how they are looking for other super fit above average people like themselves.

 

What we don't get is when they contact us saying you look like a fit attractive couple we might be interested in! It is not hard to see by the many pics in our profile that we are not gym rats and don't have the movie star looks. We even wrote in our profile that we are an average looking normal couple like 95 percent of the people out there so that people like this won't waste there time on us. We just don't see any point in meeting people like this, because they are only going to be disappointed that we don't have perfect toned bodies, she is not tall and skinny and I am not tall dark and handsome. We are also not attracted to people with sculptured bodies. We enjoy natural realistic bodies with those extra sexy curves. They always seem to be surprised when we tell them that we don't feel they are a good match for us. Like they are supposed to be the ones turning us down.

[Guest]

Attractiveness is a matter of opinion. Most attractive to me are guys who can carry one a good conversation and have a sense of humor. They can be short or a little heavy but they are attractive. On the other hand is the guy who thinks he’s good looking but is crude, can’t talk about anything but the size of his __ ___ and how he wants to __ my ___, totally unattractive to me, a “no way” out come.

[SJBluebirds 194]

I really dislike it when people self-describe themselves as "above average looking".

 

My own issue is exactly the opposite: I'm not all that good-looking. Actually, it's almost official: I'm an ugly man.

 

I don't know how I managed to land such a beautiful woman as a wife, life-partner, and best-friend... but I did. And I feel bad for her about that. She is -- barring death -- stuck with me.

 

And I'm an ugly guy.

 

I didn't really understand that until recently. It's been a dawning realization over the past few months. I mean, I never believed myself to have movie-star good looks, but I thought I was 'plain' or 'average' at worst.

 

Now I believe I'm lucky to be 'plain' or 'average' at best. And that would be on a good day, with good lighting, probably makeup, and hours of Photoshop.

 

This, in my mind, hasn't always been the case. I have friends, I have co-workers, I have all sorts of photos of me with these people. I never really thought of myself as 'ugly'.

 

But the sad reality is that whenever we open our 'face' pictures to prospective couples on the Lifestyle websites we use ... the very next day we get the dreaded "thanks, but no thanks" e-mail from them. And it's always with a variation of the "after much consideration, we don't feel there's a connection"-line.

 

Funny; there was a connection for several rounds of e-mails. But it's gone once you see what we look like. Or, more accurately: what I look like. Invariably, they comment how beautiful my wife is -- and there's no doubt of that (and it's not just her loving husband saying that!). But it's definitely me. I've even sent her photo without mine, first. Then, I send mine. And it's only after the second photo -- the one where my face is showing .... well, you get the point.

 

Maybe we should meet new couples at a club or a party, rather than online? You know, let them get to know me in person, rather than by photo?

 

Well, in a conservative backwater with no clubs, the only way to meet in person is at a party... And invitations to parties come only with a request that includes a photo of the prospective couple.

 

Need I tell you what happens, next?

 

Actually, you do. It's one of two things: We get the 'we don't think you'll fit in with our crowd' reply .... OR, we get nothing -- just silence from the hosts.

 

And so, I know. It's me. I'm not handsome. I'm far from it. And my wife, God bless her, refuses to play with others by herself; she refuses to take the 'hall pass' I've offered her.

 

So that's my story. I'm an ugly man. I probably have to come to terms with that, someday. Sooner, rather than later, I suppose.

 

Wish me luck on that.

[enhancer 1,582]

SJBluebirds I have no idea what you look like, but just want to say what you are going through is common place in the online game! In general it is pretty common for the other guy to be interested in your wife and the other wife not being interested in you. Many of the the wives in the lifestyle tend to be very picky about what they want to see in face pics. Maybe it is, because well they can be, because they have tons of guys throwing themselves at them daily no matter what they look like themselves. It is the nature of the game. Try not to take it as a personal jab at yourself.

 

Hopefully you will be able to find other couples like ourselves that learned along time ago not to just judge people based on their pics and that by meeting face to face with no commitment for more is the only way to know if there is something about those other people that is going to make us want to get to know them better.

 

Regardless remember that hot wife of yours has chosen you to be the one she spends her life with and also has chosen to stand by your side as a partner in this even though you have given her the chance to go without you! That seems like a pretty big deal to me and tells me that you must be worth it to her.

 

Good luck on the rest of your journey.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We consider it one of those throwaway terms that we all tend to use when we're trying to fatten up a profile, so we don't give it too much thought one way or another.

 

On a separate thought, "Above Average" can really run on a curve, depending on location. I'd say certain parts of California it means you're pretty damn hot. Around here it means you still have a nice set of teeth.

 

Hey, I'm above average! Woo Hoo!

[Brad145 58]

This happens to us all, I'm lucky enough to live in a large enough city to have clubs nearby so we avoid the online game for the most part.

 

Make the most of what you have and keep at it, it'll happen.

 

I really dislike it when people self-describe themselves as "above average looking".

 

My own issue is exactly the opposite: I'm not all that good-looking. Actually, it's almost official: I'm an ugly man.

 

I don't know how I managed to land such a beautiful woman as a wife, life-partner, and best-friend... but I did. And I feel bad for her about that. She is -- barring death -- stuck with me.

 

And I'm an ugly guy.

 

I didn't really understand that until recently. It's been a dawning realization over the past few months. I mean, I never believed myself to have movie-star good looks, but I thought I was 'plain' or 'average' at worst.

 

Now I believe I'm lucky to be 'plain' or 'average' at best. And that would be on a good day, with good lighting, probably makeup, and hours of Photoshop.

 

This, in my mind, hasn't always been the case. I have friends, I have co-workers, I have all sorts of photos of me with these people. I never really thought of myself as 'ugly'.

 

But the sad reality is that whenever we open our 'face' pictures to prospective couples on the Lifestyle websites we use ... the very next day we get the dreaded "thanks, but no thanks" e-mail from them. And it's always with a variation of the "after much consideration, we don't feel there's a connection"-line.

 

Funny; there was a connection for several rounds of e-mails. But it's gone once you see what we look like. Or, more accurately: what I look like. Invariably, they comment how beautiful my wife is -- and there's no doubt of that (and it's not just her loving husband saying that!). But it's definitely me. I've even sent her photo without mine, first. Then, I send mine. And it's only after the second photo -- the one where my face is showing .... well, you get the point.

 

Maybe we should meet new couples at a club or a party, rather than online? You know, let them get to know me in person, rather than by photo?

 

Well, in a conservative backwater with no clubs, the only way to meet in person is at a party... And invitations to parties come only with a request that includes a photo of the prospective couple.

 

Need I tell you what happens, next?

 

Actually, you do. It's one of two things: We get the 'we don't think you'll fit in with our crowd' reply .... OR, we get nothing -- just silence from the hosts.

 

And so, I know. It's me. I'm not handsome. I'm far from it. And my wife, God bless her, refuses to play with others by herself; she refuses to take the 'hall pass' I've offered her.

 

So that's my story. I'm an ugly man. I probably have to come to terms with that, someday. Sooner, rather than later, I suppose.

 

Wish me luck on that.