Bi men posing as straight men

[appliancesex 66]

It seems like clockwork that this happens almost every morning. Sometime around 6:30-7:30 a.m. we get messages on Swing Lifestyle from straight men looking to 'explore their bi-side'. What is this bi side I keep hearing about? Why does your profile say you are straight if you are secretly a rectal ranger in training?

 

For me (at least), bisexuality means we can have a relationship with either a male or a female. This means something to me, as I've actually had a romantic relationship with a guy. It involves more than just sex, just like you would have with a woman.

 

Most men I've met in this lifestyle who pose as bisexuals or even closet types are usually mswm (men who have sex with men), those married types that exit the clubs and wander into the fens late at night (Boston folk here should know what I'm talking about).

 

Are people starting to see more bi men who are posing as straight men around? I sort of miss the days that I was shunned by gays and straights alike.

 

Oh, and if your answer to my question above is because others are aware of a male's profile as a straight male in this lifestyle, one can always open another account and set pics to private. This bugs me like 'new to this lifestyle' bugs some other people on here.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Who knows ...

 

maybe they are in denial.

maybe they are just too lazy to change their profile or create a new one.

maybe they are willing to be bi for the moment to get with peanut.

 

most likely, they just want to avoid the prejudice that comes from being excluded from straight couples who are homophobic. Either way, I'd respect them much more for being honest.

 

I'm completely straight but I wouldn't necessarily exclude a couple because of any sexual preferences as long as they were respectful of my boundaries. If my wife knows the other woman is straight, she won't try to sneak in anything inappropriate unless otherwise stated. The way it should be.

[ViSexual 1,008]

There are degrees of bisexuality. I'm thinking that guys who'd entertain the notion of some forms of sex with another guy, but aren't interested in any relationships at all, might find it inappropriate to tag themselves as bisexual.

 

And, I checked your swinglifestyle profile and I think you may have entered your heights incorrectly! Hey, maybe not though! I like tall women too!

[Lascivious L&L 866]

Once again there is dissatisfaction with the use of labels. Bi is just a label, and means different things to virtually everyone. To you it means being able to have a romantic relationship with both sexes. That is not the most common meaning. To some if you've ever even considered sucking a cock you better label yourself bi.

 

Your use of "rectal ranger" in regards to bi suggests you think bi means anal sex with men. Again that is your interpretation of the label bi. Many, if not most, men who consider themselves bi have not included anal in their male sex. There are gays who also do not include anal sex.

 

There is a sense for some that even oral sex with male does not neccessarily mean you are bi. For them the whole labeling of person because of the sex you and your wife enjoy is silly. Threesomes are hot, and if your wife enjoys having you sucking cock with her, suddenly that puts you in a whole new category of person? You're enjoying sex with your wife, she enjoys sucking cock, so why shouldn't you join her in that enjoyment? Doesn't change the person you are, it merely expands the sex you enjoy with her.

 

For many swingers it is important to know whether a guy has ever sucked a cock or enjoyed any form of sex with a man. This is lumped under the bi label and is considered very important information, and dishonest if that information is not dished out to the general swinging public. Many married "bi" males feel that is private information only relevant to those with whom there is a real potential of sexual congress and not to the general swinging public.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I could see this happening quite frequently to you, appliancesex. Especially, after reading the first few lines (what most people do) on your Swing Lifestyle profile.

 

Not sure if you realize this, but your actually attracting exactly what your talking about, in your profile. If I were a bi-guy in the closet I would set my alarm clock for about 5:30 just to see if you were on-line. Your profile is like a target with the center bulls-eye as big as a bus.

 

There are plenty of "Closet" Bisexual-men out there, many are looking for an easier less traveled path. But again, I think your own profile is like a light-bulb attracting moths throughout the night/early morning, hours.

[appliancesex 66]

I checked your swinglifestyle profile and I think you may have entered your heights incorrectly! Hey, maybe not though! I like tall women too!

 

ha! thanks for pointing that out. though, it would make my life easier if i was a foot shorter than her, "um, while you're down there..."

 

Once again there is dissatisfaction with the use of labels. Bi is just a label, and means different things to virtually everyone. To you it means being able to have a romantic relationship with both sexes. That is not the most common meaning.

 

It was probably a gay man who told me this. Bastards.

 

To some if you've ever even considered sucking a cock you better label yourself bi.

 

Or just have gone through puberty.

 

Your use of "rectal ranger" in regards to bi suggests you think bi means anal sex with men.

 

Well, butt pirate sounded soooo passé.

 

Again that is your interpretation of the label bi.

 

Umm. no. That is your interpretation of my failed attempt at humor.

 

Many, if not most, men who consider themselves bi have not included anal in their male sex.

 

And i'm one of them.

 

For many swingers it is important to know whether a guy has ever sucked a cock or enjoyed any form of sex with a man. This is lumped under the bi label and is considered very important information, and dishonest if that information is not dished out to the general swinging public. Many married "bi" males feel that is private information only relevant to those with whom there is a real potential of sexual congress and not to the general swinging public.

 

Which brings me to my first question. if you are bi, bicurious or straight, you should say so. I've been getting messages from seemingly bi men posing as straight (I mean, look at the title of this thread), and I was curious to see if others were seeing this too. It really wasn't intended to be a debate about labels, but rather a question over the lack of them.

 

Sure, bi can mean lots of things to lots of people. To scientists it means having to sexual organs in insect species. However, I'm sure we can all agree that the term straight is pretty cut and dry. ya just dig chicks. That's it. So if you're profile says "ya just dig chicks," why are you looking to get down and jiggy with me?

 

Not sure if you realize this, but your actually attracting exactly what your talking about, in your profile.

 

I thought about changing this, but then who would I chat with in the morning?

 

Well Idid anyway. Not because of what you said, but it didn't really match the glory of the other paragraphs.

[Playful1 434]

Most of the bi men I know in swinging are out there as straight. Why? Because it makes life a hell of a lot easier for them in terms of finding playmates.

 

Way too many ignorant guys I know seem to think that if a guy is bi or bicurious that it means he wont be able to keep his hands off of another guy and therefore wont play with the guy. This is bs.

 

Sadly, swinging is not any more open minded as a whole then society in general is. Yes, we think having sex with other peoples spouses is ok, but outside of that, most swingers have the same issues as everyone else. They are open minded about their "kink" but not really all that open minded about others. Obviously this is a generalization and I know there are exceptions to it.

 

What is amusing is I see the reverse with women. Lots of straight women putting themselves out there as bi simply to make their other half happy. God that is annoying (speaking as a genuinely bi woman who gets frustrated when I find out that the chick is just halfheartedly touching me because her husband thinks its hot).

 

Glad you feel comfortable being out there as bi. Most men in swinging don't. I don't judge them for that, I just feel sad that that needs to be the case.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

One of the best reasons not to use the label bi is that too often it doesn't communicate your actual sexual preference due to people having a different meaning for the label than you do. The only person who is the judge of your sexual orientation is you, not those who insist if you've ever had a cock in your mouth you must label yourself bi.

 

If you really dig chicks, and truly aim to please your wife in a MFM, even a straight person can join her in sucking a cock, if that's what floats her boat. Doesn't mean you're bi, it means you aim to please the person who means most to you. And if you enjoy the hot spurts of cum in your mouth while your wife goes over the top, all it means is that you enjoy pleasing the hottest chick there.

 

The best reason to use the bi label in a profile is how it eliminates the great majority of homophobic assholes from responding. Not to say there aren't non-homophobic assholes, but at least the homophobes are out.

[realcplub2 513]

Appliance, please do not take this as a criticism in any way..

 

But since you have an issue with people that mis identify themselves, say so in the first few lines of your profile, orr better yet, as your tag line so when your pic icon show it says something simple..

 

"Be what you say you are on your profile, or don't bother"

 

If you browse any number of threads with male bisexuality as the topic, you will hear the same complaints you are expressing, along with the same explainations as to why.

 

Your personal definition of what it means to be bi, definately goes a lot deeper than many in the lifestyle. I need to ask you a direct question, How did you KNOW you were bi, using your guidelines, before you did the first time?

 

Dont judge, everyone starts somewhere, and the contacts you recieve may be someone, looking to define who they are...

[fun4Ds 1,098]

i thought about changing this, but then who would i chat with in the morning?

Someone who sparks your interests.... right ? Is that someone who you, could help test their, waters? someone who could meet you and understand exactly how, you feel, or even someone who could blow your own limits to the moon, (personally,my kind of people. lol) Its an interesting thing when ya put yourself out there and "chatting" sometimes IS a start.

 

well i did anyway. not because of what you said, but it didn't really match the glory of the other paragraphs.

I think, if you really want to have that "good morning chat" why not put this paragraph in your profile;

 

for me (at least), bisexuality means we can have a relationship with either a male or a female. this means something to me, as i've actually had a romantic relationship with a guy. it involves more than just sex, just like you would have with a woman.

 

I think you would find a better conversation, coming from where you are in your own bisexuality, than trying to understand those, that are less traveled.

 

 

 

fun4ds ( who's bisexual male friends, usually say "what ?,,, oh shut up dude... )

[good times 991]

I think their are several reasons why someone would chose to list themselves as straight even though they were bi. Some of them are the same reason women do so.

 

First off, it is a well known fact, at least where we live, that if you list yourself as a bi-male on your profile, you just eliminated about 80% of the people who may contact you otherwise. So couples that male bi play isn't their main focus, that want to maximize their chances of meeting folks, will most likely list the male as straight.

 

Additionally, many women have found, if they list themselves as bi, they tend to get contacted mostly by folks looking for bi play. So, they will list the female as straight to avoid those expectations. Seems to me the same would be true for a bi male.

 

Often couples that both are straight will pass on contacting couples where one of them is listed as bi because they assume that if a couple chooses to list one or the other as bi, then that is what they are primarily looking for.

 

Also, like many women who will play with the right woman if the time is right for it, but are mainly on the site seeking opposite sex play, I would guess many men might feel the same way. So if they are mainly looking for straight sex, it seems that listing themselves as straight would maximize their results for that which they are primarily seeking. Even though they may be open to bi play if all the stars happen to line up right.

[slevin 1,374]

How is doing something that you don't want to do, purely because someone else wants you to, a good thing? I would be horrified to learn that my wife did something she actively disliked just to make me happy. That is a bad thing. Hell, I'd be bummed if she did something she was indifferent about just to make me happy. I have way more fun with her when we're both doing something we're excited about and love to do. I want to focus on that, not compromising what one of us wants for the sake of the other.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

Slevin, did you or your wife ever do something either of you were sure you wouldn't like and found out you liked it? Ever tasted a food you knew you wouldn't like just to please her and found that you indeed liked it?

 

Does your wife suck cock? Why would it be horrible to do what she does? Might it be possible that your horror is a product of your mind, not of the act? Can you ever change your mind?

 

I speak from my own experience. I thought I wouldn't like sucking cock. I was able to change my mind when I really thought about it. My wife enjoys it, so that was proof it wasn't horrible.

 

Slevin, it's not a horrible thing. Your distaste of the idea of sucking may hurt you, but the actual sucking won't.

[realcplub2 513]

Folks you are sort of missing the point of the OP.

 

His complaint as it seemed to us was, people on various sites POSING as one thing, listing themselves as Straight, but contacting him/them, about Bi play

 

In my reply I sort of explained that, being contacted may be the other persons way of figuring out if they have that interest. And yes, If so inclined, you do not know until you actually try.

 

But, let's bring it back to the original question - Bi men posing as Straight

[Lascivious L&L 866]

I have to disagree, we are discussing the point exactly. Your point is that some may be figuring themselves out, which is quite valid. Another possibility, the one I was discussing, is that bi does not mean the same to each person. Sucking cock does not necessarily mean a man will consider himself bi, when he feels that his main orientation is straight, despite what happens in the heat of special moments. Especially when it's something he shares with his wife, sucking on a cock.

 

That others think sucking cock is bi no matter what is their opinion. What you choose to call yourself and think of yourself as, is up to you, not anyone else.

[slevin 1,374]

Slevin, did you or your wife ever do something either of you were sure you wouldn't like and found out you liked it? Ever tasted a food you knew you wouldn't like just to please her and found that you indeed liked it?

 

Does your wife suck cock? Why would it be horrible to do what she does? Might it be possible that your horror is a product of your mind, not of the act? Can you ever change your mind?

 

I speak from my own experience. I thought I wouldn't like sucking cock. I was able to change my mind when I really thought about it. My wife enjoys it, so that was proof it wasn't horrible.

 

Slevin, it's not a horrible thing. Your distaste of the idea of sucking may hurt you, but the actual sucking won't.

 

I never said the act in it self is horrible; performing it, to me, is not something I will enjoy. Contrary to what you continue to try and assert, you do not need to experience something to know whether you will, or won't like it. In the times where I have tried something I /knew/ I wouldn't like, I've found that I am almost always correct. The small number of instances where I was wrong are outliers. They also tend to be the cases where I /thought/ I wouldn't like them, but didn't really have a strong feeling one way or the other. The cases where I had a strong feeling, I've never ended up liking it. Most often your senses and subconscious can let you know, even if you can't explain it. The smell of pickles is all I needed to know I wouldn't like them. I was right.

 

So why should I compromise something I have no interest in, just to make someone else happy? I wouldn't ask someone else to do the same for me, and there are plenty of other things we both love that we can share instead.

 

Is it possible that you are confusing your own previous subconscious curiosity about sucking cock with other peoples feelings and opinions about it?

[Lascivious L&L 866]

Oh I understand your level of rigidity, it is not uncommon. LIke you, many others are so sure of what hasn't been experienced, especially in the sexual arena where society has such a hard core negativity toward certain sexual pleasures.

[peanut1972 15]

Oh I understand your level of rigidity, it is not uncommon. LIke you, many others are so sure of what hasn't been experienced, especially in the sexual arena where society has such a hard core negativity toward certain sexual pleasures.

 

So then someone doesn't know they wouldn't be into necrophilia if someone hasn't tried it? They may not have any inclination and in fact the thought of it may turn them off but hey, how the hell do they really know? Society has such a hardcore negative attitude about that too. So hey that would just be societal conditioning too.

[peanut1972 15]

As someone who chooses to label themselves bi, because that's what I am and I knew it at age 12, and as someone who has witness these men's IM's to Appliancesex, I have to say these men irk me. They annoy me as much as the gay men that tell him to leave me because he's really gay. I'm just a beard. I think these men, the ones posing as straight, need to grow a pair before they start sucking a pair. Whether you just want to have any type of sex with a member of your sex, with or without a romantic relationship you're bi. One may not be completely bi, but the person still is some degree of bi.

 

Sorry about being blunt. I seem to sense a sort of hypocrisy, people bash the married men that pose as single, or a person in a monogamous relationship posing as a swinger. Yet people will give ample reasons for why men maybe doing this. hmm..I see the examples above as all being dishonest.

[appliancesex 66]

First, for those of you who think I live by labels, I don't. I don't honestly care. I was feeling ornery the other day, and complaining about bi dudes posing as something else seemed to fit that hole.

 

I was not attempting to provide a definition for bisexuality to push onto other people. I think I was pretty clear when I wrote this:

 

for me (at least), bisexuality means ...

 

If you are one of those people (majority or otherwise), who believes that bisexuality is a fondness for model train collecting, so be it. However, I hope we can all agree that straight basically means you have a preference for the opposite sex. If this is the case, I think a little honesty goes a long way.

 

First off, it is a well known fact, at least where we live, that if you list yourself as a bi-male on your profile, you just eliminated about 80% of the people who may contact you otherwise. So couples that male bi play isn't their main focus, that want to maximize their chances of meeting folks, will most likely list the male as straight.

 

Ok. So for me (at least), if 80% of the people out there don't want to hook up with me or peanut because of our sexual orientation, then that is 80% whom I don't want to hook up with either. I'm in this lifestyle because I want to have fun, not because I'm desperate and need to get my rocks off. I like to think that peanut and I hand pick our playmates based on the quality they have to offer.

 

edit:you know I reread this, and I'll be honest with you. This is fine if you are a bi person who only wants to have straight sex and not have any bi play going on. But if you are contacting me, looking to hook up, this is not an accurate representation of who you are.

 

Appliance, please do not take this as a criticism in any way... I need to ask you a direct question, How did you KNOW you were bi, using your guidelines, before you did the first time?

 

Don't judge, everyone starts somewhere, and the contacts you receive may be someone, looking to define who they are...

 

I'm not offended and I'm not looking at it as criticism. I appreciate your query. That said, honestly it would take a while to explain it and I really don't feel like boring anyone with that shit.

 

again, I'm not out here to judge. I will hook up with all you closet cases out there. I'm down with that. But I just find it intriguing that it's acceptable to you that people lie about one thing but not about other things. it's just weird to me. that said, to each their own.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

It's so interesting that the comparisons sited are necrophillia and bestiality as somehow comparable to sucking a cock. Is that really where your headspace is???

 

The point Chicup and Peanut aren't getting is why sucking a cock is such a no-no. The reason cited is choice, I'm just not interested. But why are you not interested, is it actually a choice? Considering the great negative programming society engages in, how do you know your "choice" is not merely the result of your bringing up, your programming???

 

My point is that the actual act of sucking a cock is not that big of an action compared to say risking your life for the one you love or even for someone you don't know at all. But it is treated as being much more difficult than risking your life. That difficulty is not due to the act itself, but something else, and my guess is societal programming.

 

Peanut, you're not the only bi guy out there. Many don't know from the age of 12. Consider yourself fortunate to know it so early. Some of us had to wade through our programming to get to a space where we can actually see sexuality without being negativized by it. Some never do.

 

A demonstration of just how negativized sex can become are the very examples used for comparisons.

[PB&J 1,086]

Peanut, you're not the only bi guy out there.

 

Ummm... Peanut's a girl. you might want to read things more carefully before you respond.

[appliancesex 66]

It's so interesting that the comparisons sited are necrophilia and bestiality as somehow comparable to sucking a cock. Is that really where your headspace is???

 

The comparison isn't about sucking cock. The comparison is about trying new things. It's ludicrous to believe that people out there are straight just because they don't want to suck cock. I don't think that that is the missing link as to why men consider themselves straight.

 

Secondly, you're the only one that brought up bestiality:

 

The point Chicup and Peanut aren't getting is why sucking a cock is such a no-no. The reason cited is choice, I'm just not interested. But why are you not interested, is it actually a choice? Considering the great negative programming society engages in, how do you know your "choice" is not merely the result of your bringing up, your programming???

 

Just so I'm on the same page here, are you just arguing for the sake of being argumentative? My original question wasn't, "why are bi men posing as people who secretly like to suck cock because society has told them it's a no-no, but they want to pin themselves against the mold." It also wasn't, "what is the real reason than men are posing as straight males." It was more like, "why are you saying you are one thing but really you are doing something entirely different?"

 

My point is that the actual act of sucking a cock is not that big of an action compared to say risking your life for the one you love or even for someone you don't know at all. But it is treated as being much more difficult than risking your life. That difficulty is not due to the act itself, but something else, and my guess is societal programming.

 

Either way, now you are comparing oral sex to something drastic. no one else in this thread has mentioned that oral sex is this horrible act against nature. Probably because they understand my question, but whatever.

 

Peanut, you're not the only bi guy out there.

 

Yeah... I can very much confirm that peanut is most definitely a woman. I can also confirm that she gives amazing head.

[peanut1972 15]

It's so interesting that the comparisons sited are necrophillia and bestiality as somehow comparable to sucking a cock. Is that really where your headspace is???

 

I wasn't comparing necrophilia to bisexuality, I was using an extreme situation to show the folly of your argument. In your mind it's a negative comparison.

 

 

-

The point Chicup and Peanut aren't getting is why sucking a cock is such a no-no. The reason cited is choice, I'm just not interested. But why are you not interested, is it actually a choice? Considering the great negative programming society engages in, how do you know your "choice" is not merely the result of your bringing up, your programming???

 

 

I can make the same argument about any sort of fetish. Personally I'm all about breaking my own taboos, but that is me, that is my choice.Yet I have boundaries too. I have been witness to the use of this argument, this logic with water sports and scat. People use this same argument about S&M too. Would you be whipped until the point of bleeding if you partner asked you too? (no I'm not comparing this to bisexuality again i'm using this to point out flaws in your argument.)

 

 

 

My point is that the actual act of sucking a cock is not that big of an action compared to say risking your life for the one you love or even for someone you don't know at all. But it is treated as being much more difficult than risking your life. That difficulty is not due to the act itself, but something else, and my guess is societal programming.

 

My point is not everyone is as daft and weak willed as you are trying to make them out to be. People aren't as programmed as you would like to think they are. Give people credit. Oh, wait are you the great sexual savior?

 

Do you blame society for everything?

 

Peanut, you're not the only bi guy out there. Many don't know from the age of 12. Consider yourself fortunate to know it so early. Some of us had to wade through our programming to get to a space where we can actually see sexuality without being negativized by it. Some never do.

 

A demonstration of just how negativized sex can become are the very examples used for comparisons.

 

Read a bit more carefully I'm not a male nor a hermaphrodite. I'm a bisexual women. Yes I knew it when I was 12, but I had to come to grips with it. Which in the 90's was easier, there wasn't as much bi-phobia as there is today in the gay community.

I love how you warp arguments against your logic as being negative. Would you dare say to a gay man how do you know you don't like pussy have you ever tried it? After all it is certainly considered a no no in gay male culture.

Maybe instead of proselytizing you should come down off your mountain and really give people some credit. Maybe even stick to the topic instead of hijacking it.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Gadzooks! The reality is that people hold back the truth. People who are over weight. You name it. They hold back the truth because they are afraid of being ostracized. Bi women are openly accepted in the swinging community. Bi men are not. I am seeing more and more profiles with Bi, or Bi curious males. But the norm is still don't ask, don't tell. So Bi men, even married Bi men, will normally put in their profile that they are straight. Then they hope to meet someone like themselves.

[realcplub2 513]

Gadzooks! The reality is that people hold back the truth. People who are over weight. You name it. They hold back the truth because they are afraid of being ostracized. Bi women are openly accepted in the swinging community. Bi men are not. I am seeing more and more profiles with Bi, or Bi curious males. But the norm is still don't ask, don't tell. So Bi men, even married Bi men, will normally put in their profile that they are straight. Then they hope to meet someone like themselves.

 

 

Actually, its DON'T TELL UNTIL ASKED, that's why so many have to be asked directly

 

Appliance, there are people that yes are definitely in the closet and as was pointed out on the previous page and brought home again by NCMD COUPLE..

 

Bisexuality among males in the lifestyle is evolving, and in some circles as Chicup's responses show, Just as with many of the clubs or on site venues still consider it unacceptable.

 

What's at odds is, as your complaint stated plainly, listing as straight, and inquiring about bi play. They contact you because you are open enough to list yourself as you do.

 

I cant remember the thread, but a year or so ago, there was a lovely poster who was honest about herself here, but explained that she lists herself as straight, but is open to bi play. She stated she listed herself that way to preclude being EXPECTED to play bi. She was honest and said something to the effect that, if she felt the desire, and the other party was willing.. it was golden..

 

If I recall correctly no one really raised a eyebrow, or complaint.

 

I agree, I do not like the idea of getting naked with someone who is deceptive about ANYTHING regarding this lifestyle. Because it leads to the next logical question

 

What else aren’t they open about?

 

That's why the conversation stages and ASKING questions directly, as to why they list themselves one way or another, and GAUGING the answers is so important.

 

We are here because we enjoy a different kind of life, and an openness about sex. The patent pending term we use is SEXPLORATION. for anyone to begin that, they have to be willing to discuss what they are into.. with themselves and then with others. It doesn't matter if the topic is Bi Sex, Anal Sex, or Any other sex. That honesty has to start between the ears.. Not between a playmates legs. If you cant talk about what you want.. you aren’t going to get there..

 

And that brings us back to the topic... Hiding in the closet, you either get past the coats... or stay in the dark.

[appliancesex 66]

Gadzooks! The reality is that people hold back the truth. People who are over weight. You name it. They hold back the truth because they are afraid of being ostracized. Bi women are openly accepted in the swinging community. Bi men are not. I am seeing more and more profiles with Bi, or Bi curious males. But the norm is still don't ask, don't tell. So Bi men, even married Bi men, will normally put in their profile that they are straight. Then they hope to meet someone like themselves.

 

Ok, I can go with that. That's an acceptable answer to my question. I may not agree with the reason, but I can fully understand someone worrying about being ostracized.

 

...I agree, I do not like the idea of getting naked with someone who is deceptive about ANYTHING regarding this lifestyle. Because it leads to the next logical question

 

What else aren’t they open about?

 

And thank you for making this point. I think that's where I was becoming a little uncomfortable. As ncmd pointed out, the fear of ostracization drives people back into the closet, and I can respect the idea that they might be more interested in speaking to me because I'm either raising a flag or too daft to figure out I'm missing out on 80% of the swinger community.

 

That said, I will continue to be open about my sexuality, not because I'm a pride junky or anything. But I think it's important to be as honest as I can. I don't really care if a straight guy doesn't want to play with me for fear I'm looking at his package or something. I just don't want the people I play with to be uncomfortable around me. We're all there to have a good time, and if someone keeps hanging up about it, he or she won't have a good time.

 

I don't want people to think I'm hiding anything else.

 

And that brings us back to the topic.. Hiding in the closet, you either get past the coats... or stay in the dark

 

Nicely put. Thanks.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

Oh my, I hijacked the thread! Since you like whipping so much, whip me good.

 

It seems you don't mind hijacking the thread to speak to my crazy ideas, but somehow it's hijacking speaking to your negativism. The answer to the question posed by the OP has been given many times in many ways. Don't think any were really accepted, but that is the OP's problem.

 

My answer is that the OP and others here think their definition of bi is the only honest one, and if someone chooses to see bi differently than they do they are dishonest. Why should you be the one to determine the honesty of the orientation a guy lists as just because he may suck a cock or two?

 

Peanut, I apologize for misreading your sex. Someone else posted that you give good head. So I'll assume you suck cock. All the juice that's been discussed is about the difference between a man sucking cock and a woman sucking cock. It's still sucking cock. It's not bestiality (Chicup's contribution) or necrophillia, your contribution. It's sucking cock.

 

Would I say the same to gays about eating pussy? Yes I would and have. There are more than a few gay guys who have tried sucking pussy. Oh my, gag me, sucking a pussy!!! It's not just some gay guys who say that. What about vanilla boys who do? Swinging boys who say a pussy just tastes too strong? (a reference to another thread) In fact most of the gay guys I know would tell me to go for it, suck that pussy, it's just not my cup of cum.

 

Would you suggest that such negativism against sucking pussy or sucking cock is the result of a well balanced upbringing open toward sex?

[realcplub2 513]

Lascivious L&L Would you suggest that such negativism against sucking pussy or sucking cock is the result of a well balanced upbringing open toward sex?

 

Not at all, just as the definitions as to what is Bi, or not, is in the "eye of the beholder"

 

We have had these discussions from every stand point there is.

 

It is easy to point and define things as WE SEE FIT, because IT WORKS FOR THAT PERSON

 

but when the lines are blurred that's when it gets difficult.

 

We all agree there are certain ACTS that fall into what we would define as Bi or Not.. But lets suppose for a moment, we blur that with this example:

 

A couple goes out and has a great evening, enjoying the company of other people.. and after a mind blowing session, the Guest gentleman withdraws his BARE cock, still leaking cum, from the wife, who herself is coming down from a mind blowing orgasm too.. and her husband jumps between her legs and proceed to keep her orgasm going with some intense oral action.. and by doing so, is licking the guests deposited cum, as well as the copious secretions of his wife..

 

While his lips never touched the guests cock, by plying his lips to their playing field, he is defacto, sampling the guest gentleman's cum..

 

Ready?

 

Does this make him Bi?

[realcplub2 513]

I offered that example for one reason and one reason only...

 

How we define OURSELVES, and how we define those we play with, is subject to the sensibilities of each person.

 

Those we play with, so long as they are as open and honest as WE ALL SHOULD BE, then there are no issues..

 

It is when playmates are DISHONEST, and attempt to deceive that problems arise. Should those problems arise from a PROFILE listing, but the INTERVIEW process clears those issues..

 

You see where I am going, I am not redefining my previous posts