Swinging single females

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I believe I know which club you are referring to. Just like anything you get involved with you have to make sure it's legit, that one wasn't (at least not in my opinion).

 

There are plenty of legit clubs out there that know how to operate.

[Katt 15]

Ok here is a new single female perspective to a very intriguing thread.

I have been to a local swingers club a few times, more from curiosity and also I was invited by a male friend who frequents that club with his sometimes mate. I have sat at the bar and been invited by a few couples, but as yet have not made a connection with any of them, usually due to an uncomfortable feeling I have about the male. And I cant recall who said it but sexual aggression from the male, even if he is part of a couple is a HUGE turn off. I would have felt much more comfortable if I truly knew his wife wanted to do this, and not just consent to his getting his rocks off with me. As a heterosexual woman who has been bi-curious for ages, I am interested in both partners

Next weekend I have a friend in town, a "fuck buddy" so to speak. He is very curious about the swingers clubs and wants to go. We may go as a couple, or possibly go with another bi female I am aquainted with, or a couple who have been wanting to get together.

My question to you is thus: are we considered a couple or two singles?? and would that matter to couples?? I have not gone with another couple as I am concerned about personal safety as well, and no one going beyond my own personal limits. This is a big city and there are a lot of scary people out there. WIth a consenting male friend along I fell there is some one "on my side". I know that sounds odd but its how I feel.

 

(sitting back to see how this can of worms crawls.........)

[EternallySingle 32]

It all depends on the club. At one club I went to down south if you couldn't prove you were married or living together (part of their screening process) you were both singles and paid 80 bucks to get in (rather, I paid $80, she got in free). At another, just showing up with a woman meant paying the couples rate. Call the club and get clarification on this.

[Ashley 22]

My boyfriend and I have never encountered this, but maybe it's because we live in the West. I know from experience that the deep South is like another country.

[naughty A 23]

Originally posted by Katt

I have not gone with another couple as I am concerned about personal safety as well, and no one going beyond my own personal limits. This is a big city and there are a lot of scary people out there.

 

WOW!

 

something here really struck a cord for me. I suppose it could be a very real fear that a couple never really has to face. It wouldn't be a fear for me now because I've been in the lifestyle for some time and have always viewed it from the couples perspective but for a single woman starting out... I imagine they have to consider all the possibilities.

[EternallySingle 32]

Originally posted by FlyBiNiter

Ok.. now let me tell ya the real story.. LOL

 

I hear everyone go on and on and on about the search for the "elusive single female" and how hard they are to find. I also hear the single males griping about not being wanted. I don't get it. Where we are, single females are a dime a dozen, but a decent single male is next to impossible to find.

 

That's the Pacific Northwest for you. It was in Tacoma that I began to believe that I could be an active (if not equal) participant in swinging because I was actually approached by couples and single women when I went to different places. I don't know what it is, but I think its a combination of the ocean air, mountains, and almost constant climate (and maybe the rain as well) that makes it more ... acceptable?... for single women in the Northwest to become involved in swinging. I even hooked up with four women I partied with on a regular basis. Of course, I met a fifth who first had me break off contact with the other four, then she screwed with my head for over a year until I kicked her to the curb, but I feel she was the exception. There's always one or two people who have no respect for others and if you let them cloud your vision and think that there are no one worth while from whatever group they claim to represent, you don't cheat anyone but yourself from an opportunity to experience something great.

 

p.s. I'm still not interested in meeting couples just yet. LOL

[cek 16]

comment on what ATAK said.

It is about screening out the SCUM.

Me thinks there has to be more than a monitary screening.

Otherwise you may get the obnoxious rich scum

and not the working guy who really cares.

Just some thoughts. However I have know of clubs near the Albany NY area that had some really strict rules and orientation meetings, so when a party happened you were clear about what could and could not be allowed. Also the other posts are right guys, we need to sense how her s/o feels. Often we just focus on the person we are conversing with and ignor everyone esle. can't do that here.

just my thoughts

[shivers68 15]

i would love to share my insite with you.maybe i'm just a bit rusty or haven't met the right people, but i'm having trouble finding females to share with.would love help finding friends in maryland.

[flirtoftheday 15]

Hi this is one of my first posts. I was married for 11 years and completely monogamous during that time. After the divorce I had my only "swinging" experience. I am still very flattered by it. I am 38. Thankfully I look and act younger. LOL Anyway this young couple who I had been friends with went out to a local bar and had a really good time. The man (aged 28) told me that him and the woman( age 24) would make me completely forget about my ex. I thought he was screwing around but then when I looked at her she nodded in agreement. I was shocked and flattered and to my own amazement very willing. I was very shy for me. Usually when I am sexual I am very giving and open but this was a completely different situation for me. Anyway I really enjoyed it. I was more reserved than I would have been if it had been a single man . I could not bring myself to have sex with him even though I wanted to. I had never been with a woman and it was a fun experience. I did not have (romantic feelings for her) but it was a forbidden pleasure that I really enjoyed. I am not looking for any kind of "relationship" I have a lot of healing to do but I am very sexual and I was very flattered that a young couple would find me attractive. I know I lokk younger but they actually knew how old I was. Anyway thanks for letting me vent some of this. I am really pleased with the intelligent conversations that I have read.

[Karmickiss 28]

Hello there, this is my first time posting at all on this site, that I feel I rather fatefully stumbled into...and thought, well,why not, this is ultimately a better place to go than any resource I have available to me at this time. I am a bi-sexual female, who ended a long-term relationship with a man about a year ago, and have gone through the preliminary nightmares of the tough initiation back into the dating field....yikes. I am interested in whole idea of being able to live in an open minded and safe way, and feel like I have something to offer at this point in my life. I am making decisions in my life today courageously, b/c I am at least sure of what I don't want, and what I do want is simple and sincere.

I adore women, and men, but most of all I adore being with trustworthy, sincere and adventurous people. I feel as if I'm entering the prime of life, if only b/c I feel I know how to appreciate a good thing, and am exactly as I seem.

However,I do tend to have this feeling of "junior high" nervousness around people I'm attracted to, being a bit shy until I get to know someone better. At the same time I know I am a very sensual, and passionate person, and feel like I have very little out-let for that, and this is what is frustrating to me right now. I am someone that believes that man or woman,when the "right one" or relationship material comes along, it will come naturally, and I don't want to rush or force such things.Yet, it does get lonely.......

Well, enough out of me,I am here more to learn what I can, I wish everyone the best.

[Tybee Swing 286]

Welcome, Karmickiss! Welcome

 

However,I do tend to have this feeling of "junior high" nervousness around people I'm attracted to, being a bit shy until I get to know someone better. At the same time I know I am a very sensual, and passionate person, and feel like I have very little out-let for that, and this is what is frustrating to me right now.

 

No worries, about being nervous - everybody is in the beginning. You can take things just as slow as you prefer, going at your own pace and no faster while getting to know new people. If they're worth knowing, they'll be patient and wait for a good thing.

 

Best wishes to you and have fun.

[MissKat 15]

As a single female I haven't always found a great level of acceptance from either couples or single men. I might serve a purpose for a lot of those people but I don't consider that to mesh with my definition of acceptance.

 

Single guys, on the whole, seem to think that because I swing it must mean I'm wanting sex with everyone, which couldn't be further from the truth. In short, if they don't call me a slut, that's generally the way they look at me. Now, while there are definately times that I love to feel slutty (and I don't apologise for that), there's a big difference to me between the way I can feel and the way someone treats me. A lack of respect probably sums it up best.

 

With some couples there's definately been a degree of suspicion regarding my motives for swinging, probably made worse by my being in my 20's (just a feeling, but I think it's close to the truth). I can understand that, to a degree, but it certainly has made me feel uncomfortable with quite a few people. A lack of trust in me and each other probably sums that up.

 

Of course, it does depend on the people you swing with. The ones I enjoy spending time and playing with aren't the ones who have any issues with my being 'in the lifestyle'. They don't look down on me for my involvement and they don't make any particular judgements. Whether there's a pattern or not, most of them have been quite a bit older than myself and in the mid 30's-40's.

 

I should add that when it comes to parties and clubs there's no way I'll be attending either without first knowing the people running them (and usually would only go with a couple). Also, not interested in any that let in unscreened single men and would even hesitate to visit one that had any single guys there.

 

Personally, I'd be interested to know what the attitude of couples on this board is to single females, especially those like myself who are in the younger age bracket.

[Karmickiss 28]

This is the first time I had the chance to come back to the site, and I was surprised and happy to see a response to that post I spontaneously left! Thank you for the kind words and encouragement, it came at the perfect time (again cementing my belief in a divine type of timing for everything). I've recently had a mini vacation from being a single mom, while my two boys visit their father, the boys are 10 and 12, and absolutely at brilliant ages, fun to be around, but I was grateful for some quiet time at least here at home.

I live in a rather small town, and yesterday took a trip into the closest city(Boston) by driving to the train station, and taking it in to the heart of the city. It was exquisite...having no schedule to keep, and watching and at times interacting with people. I found myself feeling free, and truly enjoyed all of the small things in the larger journey, and found that part of myself I thought got paralyzed or lost..the natural born flirt in me...lol. Even riding the train to various stops; and the type of flirtation I'm talking about is the most subtle kind, but it felt ininhibited and natural, and I could feel responses of similar kinds,and that also felt natural, instead of nerve-wracking(sp?).

Anyway,I was happy to come back here, and enjoying still some more quiet time, which is incredible...reading some quality books,and looks like it will be the perfect day to mow the lawn...

[biwhiteguy01 15]

they Could Look At Me And Jack Off All They Want. I Might Want To See What They Have. But On The Otherhand If I Tell Someone No It Means No.

Also If The Private Room Door Is Closed Well It Should Have A Lock On It So No Can Enter Unless I Or We Want Them To.

Also If Someone Knocks On The Door It Could Mean They Are At Least Polite Enough To Knock. Instead Of Playing With The Door Handle. Also On The Otherhandi Guess It Would Kind Of Irratate Me For Some One To Knock On A Private Room Door. These Are Just My Opinions You Can Agree Or Disagree It's Your Opinion.

[Zedd 30]

.it was the stones that did good vibrations wasn't it?

 

 

NOPE, THE BEACH BOYS.

[Believe07 15]

They are walking bullseyes. Every once in a great while a single fem will come into the club we go to and is swarmed by every single guy, bi fem, and cpl in the place. On the internet swinger sites they get flooded with mail faster than anyone could be expected to read it. If we are ever going to get enough of them into the lifestyle to end this mad dash everytime one peeks in we are going to have to back off alittle and give them some room to breath. No one could expect to become comfortable in a new situation when they are put in the middle of a clasic fumble pile up on the 10 yard line. This is an adult lifestyle act like adults and give new people single or cpls some space and time to adjust. It's no wonder so many people report being scared to death on their first club visit when the regulars go into a feeding frenzy everytime new meat comes through the door. My 2 cents. What does everyone else think?

 

wow ...... I'm a brand new single female swinger .... trying to learn by reading your old archives here ... and WOW I connected with this post! I joined SLS two weeks ago and I've already had to make my profile inaccessible to everyone .. just so I can catch up on email! It has been more overwhelming than enjoyable I must admit. I haven't given up though .. I'm just .. .hiding for a little bit

 

I'm toying with the idea of going to a swing club alone ... the trouble is, I'm a bit shy when it comes to conversation ... so if its expected that the single woman be the aggressor, I might not have a good time??? I'd hate to miss out on meeting great people just cuz I'm shy .. but it's just how I am. Maybe I should stick to online websites like SLS......

[Tybee Swing 286]

I'm toying with the idea of going to a swing club alone ... the trouble is, I'm a bit shy when it comes to conversation ... so if its expected that the single woman be the aggressor, I might not have a good time??? I'd hate to miss out on meeting great people just cuz I'm shy .. but it's just how I am. Maybe I should stick to online websites like SLS......

 

I don't think that the single woman is expected to be the aggressor. When people see that you're single and there alone, they are likely to be the aggressors (maybe more than you want).

 

What about making friends and visiting a club with 1-2 people? I think it's a lot easier your first time if you're going in there with somebody you know. Could be either a nice single, or a nice couple you're getting to know. Just a thought. Have fun!