Size intimidation: How do you relax?

[solomon 15]

Hello,

For the sake of discreetness, I go by solomon.

I am 22 and my wife 20. We have been married almost 2 years in June and have had one 3some experience with another female and we loved it.

Currently we are in the process of trying out swinging with our female lover's male friend and I'm kind of nervous about it.

I have a question to all the couples that have done successful swinging:

Males: When you see that the other male has more of a package than you, is that intimidating?

 

Females: When the male has more of package than your husband, does that change how you feel about your husband's package at all?

 

I wouldn't consider myself a small fella, but I've always wanted like an 8 inch and thicker penis. My wife was a virgin when I married her and I'm the only male that she has ever come in contact with sexually, so this is very very new to her and she is very excited, but I am a little nervous b/c of the description of the male that we are meeting tonight.

 

I did enjoy the threesome with the female, and I'm going to enjoy this 4some with the couple, but how do you relax and take your mind off of all the negative thoughts?

[CandTinLorainCo 16]

Welcome Solomon, hope you both enjoy our site, and good luck.

 

 

Males: When you see that the other male has more of a package than you, is that intimidating?

 

Yeah... not that big of a deal just intimidating. You can get past that. Your SO though maybe scared shitless and if I were you, probably be a good idea to go really slow!

 

Females: When the male has more of package than your husband, does that change how you feel about your husbands package at all?

 

Thought the same thing you are... T informed me "it aint what you have or have not, it's all in how you use it" she say's a "dick is a dick"

 

-C

[solomon 15]

About the answer to the female question, I have heard that and I've been told that I know how to use what I have.

 

thanks for the advice and answers. It is very much appreciated.

[biblonde 22]

Hubby used to worry about that when we first got into this but has no worries now. It is all about how you use it and not just the size! I've had bigger and smaller than my hubby and well size didnt impress me much. And let me say the ladies just love my hubbies average size!! Dont let it concern you. Your wife will enjoy other men but she will always enjoy you the most. You most likely know all her buttons and good spots and well there is that emotional connection also. Best of luck in your adventures and enjoy yourselves!!

[kevin&danielle 16]

Solomon, I have also always wanted and 8 incher and thicker lol. Think of it this way, if you were with a woman that was tighter or had bigger breasts than you wife would you have fun? Most likely. Would it change your opinion of you wife’s goods? Definitely not. Don't worry about it and go have some fun. Come back and tell us about your encounter.

 

Take care,

 

Kevin

[confunktion 20]

Agreed with all posts above. These other men will never be what you are to her. Me and the Mrs. have had experiences with couples where the man was more well-endowed. I liked that, because I wanted to see what Mrs. Funk would do with it. Needless to say, she had her fun, but we went home together, and that's what it's all about. Just relax, communicate, and have a lot of fun!

 

Mr. Funk

Adequately equipped with expert technique.

[Dynamar 246]

Single... swinging... and seeing all kinds of penises...

 

Would rather have "average with good skills" than "hung like a horse" any day of the week. And twice on Sundays! facelick

[intuition897 2,179]

I won't lie. The fact that the guy has a big cock may be big turn-on for your wife. But rest assured that this is a novelty. Got any toys in the toybox? If you do, I'll bet you didn't go out and buy a dildo or vibrator that was smaller than your own equipment. Part of the fun of it is the fantasy or just the sheer size of the thing. It's a challenge After the fun, the toy goes back into the toybox and she doesn't feel any differently about you. Now this might not seem like a great argument because I'm either relegating your playmate to the part of "walking dildo" or trivializing the fact that it's NOT made of silicone, but it's a very real cock...attached to a human being. I guess all I'm trying to say here is that the 'big package' thing is merely a novelty. It's on the gotta-try-it-before-I-die list and some women find they love it, some can either take it or leave it, and other women would rather not do it again. As a woman, I can tell you that even if the guy had an absolutely perfect package and knew how to use it, I know that the experience would pale in comparison to the fun that Mr. and I would have after we're back home in our own bed!! Why? Because no one knows me like he does. No one gets past my emotional barrier except him. I make love to him, and the more I enjoyed my experience with the other guy, the hotter it makes him. And his arousal is contagious. It turns me on like a 1000 watt light bulb to know that watching me with this other man has this kind of effect on him.

 

This is why it doesn't matter about size. The only time it actually matters is when you don't have an emotional connection with your partner like this. That's why the 'big cock' is often a prerequisite for male play partners; if they didn't have that...well their personality is only going to get them so far. There needs to be physical chemistry. That's why I'm really not jealous when another woman is more beautiful than me. She needs to be to hold my husband's attention because that's all she's bringing to the table. She can't offer him the same kind of closeness that I can.

 

Another thing: I actually prefer a medium sized, more manageable penis. The monster cock is kind of a visual novelty, but otherwise it's nearly unusable. Mr. bought me this HUGE dildo for my birthday one year. When I say huge, I mean it was shipped in a box big enough for a VCR. Now where the hell am I going to put that?? Ok, I've managed it a few times, but I had more than couple of drinks in me to help things along. This is a little bit TMI. Sorry

 

Bottom line: don't worry about it. Just relax and enjoy your wife's pleasure. Enjoy watching her discover another man's body. If this is the only other man she's been with besides you, think of how exciting this must be for her. Think of how lucky you are! She's sharing this experience with you. It's a very unique and intimate moment between the two of you.

 

Hope I've helped some. Good luck tonight!

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Hello,

 

Males: When you see that the other male has more of a package than you, is that intimidating?

 

 

Honestly, for me, I have never been intimidated by a man with a larger package than myself, and we have been with a few of them . (I am average)

 

 

In fact, it's kind of just the opposite. When we meet someone for an MFM I Hope the guy IS well hung (Read: bigger than me). If a guy pulls out his crank and it is smaller than mine I think "what's the point" . Mrs Naughty likes a thick well hung guy (who knows how to use it) and I like seeing her with one. It's a win, win situation . Swinging is a treat and my hope is, that is exactly what she finds when we swing facelick .

 

When we are back home in our bedroom I still please her the same way I always have, regardless of the "Hungness" of those we have played with.

 

I am sure you will find the same thing .

[Vantabulous 15]

The fact that the guy has a big cock may be big turn-on for your wife. But rest assured that this is a novelty. Got any toys in the toybox? If you do, I'll bet you didn't go out and buy a dildo or vibrator that was smaller than your own equipment. Part of the fun of it is the fantasy or just the sheer size of the thing. It's a challenge

You can tell me. You've been talking to Mrs. Van, haven't you? You don't have to "sugarcoat" it...

 

I'll say this. The "beginner" sizes are a lot bigger than what you all think they are. Nuff said...

 

(Mrs. Van was positively aghast, though I did note a distinct twinkle in her eye. Perhaps it was just me... )

 

Van

[intuition897 2,179]

You can tell me. You've been talking to Mrs. Van, haven't you? You don't have to "sugarcoat" it...

 

I'll say this. The "beginner" sizes are a lot bigger than what you all think they are. Nuff said...

 

(Mrs. Van was positively aghast, though I did note a distinct twinkle in her eye. Perhaps it was just me... )

 

Van

Yeah, I think Mr. got a big kick out of the look on my face when I opened my present. Shocked is an understatement.. lol

[HotMoCpl 20]

It is so hard to say what another woman really feels when she rides a bigger tool then what her S.O. has. I know mine has had much bigger then mine, but also affirms that if it gets hard and is at least four inches, it'll work for her. As for me? If I ever get to see her ride a bigger package then mine, I think I'll get as much thrill as she does.

[BradAndJanet 70]

She likes big dicks and I like seeing her get one. Big hard cocks are erotic. No problem with intimidation here and I'm just an average guy. I remember this one guy....long as your damn arm. Impressive!

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

I remember this one guy....long as your damn arm. Impressive!

 

-B

No! Say it isn't so.

 

Did you give it a handshake?

 

LM

[BradAndJanet 70]

No! Say it isn't so.

 

Did you give it a handshake?

 

LM

I only wish. He was the boyfriend of a girl friend of mine and my girlfriend (not to confuse the two women ) and I had a little impromptu swap one afternoon after ingesting some illegal substances (this being whilst I was in college, of course )

 

I was blissfully tonguing a clit when I glanced over and saw him enter my girlfriend. It was a magnificent sight; he was at least 10", which I had heard from my girl friend, but seeing it in action was quite impressive.

 

Unfortunately, my girl friend sorta freaked out at the sight, thus ending my second swinging experience.

 

I don't know what ever became of him...

 

-B

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

I figure this is as good a time as any to ask board members:

 

Are bigger cocks able to get as hard as cocks that are 5-7 inches?

 

Somehow, I always get a picture of a horses cock when I think of a man over 9 inches. When I saw a horse mounting a mare, it's cock looked pliable. Of course, I never got to touch it to know and I sure wasn't going to ask the neighbors who owned the horses.

 

Also, I've wanted to ask if WOMEN are intimidated by a large cock?

 

My first thought if I saw a very large cock would be, "Well I'm not getting fucked by that guy tonight." I've had trouble getting a 7 incher in me. Sometimes it goes, sometimes the same cock doesn't fit.

 

I feel I'm "relaxed" but I'm not always able to accomodate my playmate. Any other women have this problem?

 

LM

[Dynamar 246]

Are bigger cocks able to get as hard as cocks that are 5-7 inches?

 

The ones I've seen... no problems.

 

Also, I've wanted to ask if WOMEN are intimidated by a large cock?

 

My first thought if I saw a very large cock would be, "Well I'm not getting fucked by that guy tonight." I've had trouble getting a 7 incher in me. Sometimes it goes, sometimes the same cock doesn't fit.

 

I feel I'm "relaxed" but I'm not always able to accomodate my playmate. Any other women have this problem?

Yes... I'm a little intimidated. Always like to think of myself as a "never say never" kind of girl, so I'll try. I'm very tight, and sometimes bottoming out is a problem, but if I don't raise my hips and legs too much in the missionary position, then that helps.

[intuition897 2,179]

Something that I don't understand: why is it that guys are so hung up on length? I mean, really, what am I going to do with 10"? Look at it and say, "Wow. That's really big. Too bad you're only going to be able to bury 6 or 7 inches of it." That other 3 or 4 inches make it seem like the act is incomplete or something. Give me girth any day, baby! facelick

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Their length, or the length of the guy his wife is playing with?

 

I'm not really hung up on either but it is a simple fact, for us, when we play Mrs naughty likes some length as well as the girth. And I like to see her get what she likes facelick .

 

Give her a well hung guy (length) with the girth to match and Watch Out!!

 

Of course he doesn't HAVE to be that way (lucky for me ) but it doesn't hurt either .

 

We know it's not ALL about the size, but it is a factor.

 

There is a point where he is too big. When we are on ad sites we don't go out sending messages to guys with the biggest cocks we can find, you know the ones; Scary Big . But More than average is definately where we troll the waters.

 

Of course when we "swing vanilla" we never know until it is "Go Time" but if he pulls out a well hung member she isn't like "Damn it!! "

 

Its more like: " "

 

[clit pro poet 15]

Heck, it's a little like being out on the river. Everybody warm up, keep their oar in, stroke together, row the whole course, navigate the bridges and turns, finish up in the same boat, then feel so good it's almost wicked!

[Everlearning 48]

Heck, it's a little like being out on the river. Everybody warm up, keep their oar in, stroke together, row the whole course, navigate the bridges and turns, finish up in the same boat, then feel so good it's almost wicked!

Well put!!! After all, isn't that what it is all about. Finishing in the same boat(everyone happy and pleased) makes it a true success.

[Vantabulous 15]

Something that I don't understand: why is it that guys are so hung up on length?

You go, Girl!

Give me girth any day, baby!

Gotta go, Girl!

 

(With Mrs. Van, I always thought that my wearing 17 condoms was merely a concern about birth control. Now, I wonder... )

 

Van

[goddessoftoyz 15]

i just have to say here, just like every guy is different every woman is different. some woman can handle a monster cock, some only want the small ones. I personally dont care how big it is as long as they know what there donig and know how to use it. But the point is everyone is different and we all handle dicks differently. .

 

And per the original question do not be intimadated there is no reason for it, if you know what your doing and how to use what you've got there should be no worries at all. facelick

[Air&Patty 15]

Hello,

For the sake of discreetness, I go by solomon.

I am 22 and my wife 20. We have been married almost 2 years in June and have had one 3some experience with another female and we loved it.

Currently we are in the process of trying out swinging with our female lover's male friend and I'm kind of nervous about it.

I have a question to all the couples that have done successful swinging:

Males: When you see that the other male has more of a package than you, is that intimidating?

 

Females: When the male has more of package than your husband, does that change how you feel about your husbands package at all?

 

 

We are still in the discussion stage - but this topic has come up. One of my fears is not that she will enjoy a bigger package better than mine, it is that after she has experienced it she may not enjoy sex with me as much as she used to.

 

We have played around with toys that are considerably bigger than me so hopefully that isn't the case. I want her to have the best possible experience and if she would like to try a someone who is well-hung, more power to her. It may even be something of a turn on to watch her with someone like that.

 

-Air

[vbrunkenobi 15]

Some great posts here. Talking with my wife (I am between 7-8) that sometimes I am too large for her, usually when I am extremely turned on. During those occasions, it actually hurts both of us a little bit. I have learned to adjust my sexual performance to the situation. More often than not I am at just about 7 and that ends up being perfect for both of us. No when I am at the other end (8), I have to keep myself from entering her fully and she is not able to take me all the way orally.

 

I have to agree that largeness is more a novelty. It can actually be a curse sometimes. As for intimidation, well, knowing what I know, I would have to echo those above and reassure you that for the larger sizes, it is all novelty and a hell of alot less useful. I hope that this helps you and yours. - Mike

[cuteIDcouple 16]

My Wife and I are fairly new by about three months and one of the fears I had was the possibility of hooking up with a guy that was bigger than I am.

 

I'm only 5" and wished I was thicker but my biggest fear was that if I were to have sex with her right after a big dick she would be loose or something along that ... or as in some have stated here that my size wouldn't feel the same anymore.

 

Well I have to tell you she has had a guy 8" and thick enough she can't get her fingers to touch when holding it ... she has had this guy on a regular bases ( I loved seeing that BTW) and I have told her I prefer to go 2nd in fact I would takes seconds after a big cock ANY day.

 

I found that she is swollen and so sensitive that sticking my finger in her will get her off ... so it is way more exciting to have that added sensitivity ... oh and she got to experience her very first orgasm with intercourse while doing this guy and now she gets off every time with me as well as multiple orgasms .

 

The other thing to keep in mind ... just as others have stated only YOU will know what really gets her ... I do find that I have to be more creative and maybe work harder than a guy with a big package but that is part of the fun .. the bigger guys usually only know how to push it in and out and mostly rely on their size .. they have never been able to experience trying to shoot for the g'spot or moving it around trying different things.

 

I would rather see my Wife with a bigger cock any day ;-) ... OHHHH YA

[RUfor2 16]

Alot of it depends on your wifes reaction too.

 

If she is kind she will just have fun. The emotional bond is the strength.

 

We were with a couple once that his wife kept telling my wife......

"It grows I promise"

I felt sorry for the guy, ruined it for me really.

 

RU

[Jonna84 15]

The best sex I've ever had was with a man who had quite an average (maybe even bit smaller than average, who knows) dick. It was not big but he really did know how to use it. And isnät sex much more than just a dick and pussy? We have mouth and hands too..

[glasspro 15]

I am worried about the same thing! I am 25 my wife 23 she was also a virgin. can anyone tell me, my penis is about 5" hard and not real fat. Is that about normal or will just about every guy in the world be bigger?

[WesternSwing 504]

Welcome Solomon. I am personally in the "average" range by all studies, so I guess you could say that since 60% of all men fall in the "average" range, 2 of every 10 men we meet will be noticably bigger than me, and 2 of every 10 men we meet will be noticably smaller than me. So really, you are probably in the middle yourself being less than 8". You're in good company. If I let that worry me, we'll never have any fun.

 

That said, Exhibit #1: my wife was married to a man before me that was below average penis size, and I understand they had great sex. She had a long-term relationship with a guy before me that had a well above average sized penis, and I understand they had great sex. My penis is in the average zone in size, and we have great sex. See what I'm getting at? It wasn't the size of the cock that made the great sex, it was the guy it was attached to.

 

My wife doesn't even like pictures on profiles of just the guys cock. She holds fast to the idea that as long as we click in other ways, whatever your cock size is will be just fine.

 

She has had guys with bigger dicks than me both before we met and since we've been swinging, and she still loves me and loves sex with me more than them. Why? Because I think most women will tell you the size isn't as important as the person. Performance or skill aside, sex with someone you love will ALWAYS be more fulfilling than sex with someone you don't. My wife and I have great sex, but she didn't marry my cock, she married me. If it was just cock size she would have stayed with the guy before me. Get my drift?

 

It's like tits. Is sex better with a woman with bigger tits than it is with a woman with smaller tits? No. Tit size (big or small) may be something that you are attracted to, but bigger tits doesn't make her a better lover and doesn't make your orgasms any better. Big tits doesn't make her a better match for you, doesn't make you love her any more, or make her love you any more. Exhibit #2: My ex wife's boobs are naturally two cup sizes bigger than my wife's. If that was enough for me to love her we'd still be married. And the guy left me for purportedly has a below average sized penis. I mean come on... she left me for a guy with a smaller dick!

 

We know a couple who are great people and very experienced in the swinging world. He is very well endowed. Like my wife says, if cock size was what it was all about then why would she want to swing. After all, probably only 1% of the guys out there are bigger than him. There is a 99% chance anyone they swing with will be smaller than her husband.

 

I hope that all made sense. So don't worry about it. If you are a happy couple the biggest cock in the world couldn't tear her away, because relationships aren't built or torn down on cock size. She's not going to leave you for a guy with a bigger cock any more than you'll leave her for a woman with bigger tits or a tighter pussy.

 

Mr. WS

[HotMoCpl 20]

Size? I'm NO WAY on the small side and my wife has always told me, if a guy has only four inches and a lot of technique.....ITS GOOD! The reason I brought up swinging to her was because I know she like to sample ALL sizes. The size of another mans tool won't impress me one way or the other....I'm not gonna ride it. SHE is!

[SwingLord 15]

I figure this is as good a time as any to ask board members:

 

Are bigger cocks able to get as hard as cocks that are 5-7 inches?

 

Somehow, I always get a picture of a horses cock when I think of a man over 9 inches. When I saw a horse mounting a mare, it's cock looked pliable. Of course, I never got to touch it to know and I sure wasn't going to ask the neighbors who owned the horses.

 

Also, I've wanted to ask if WOMEN are intimidated by a large cock?

 

My first thought if I saw a very large cock would be, "Well I'm not getting fucked by that guy tonight." I've had trouble getting a 7 incher in me. Sometimes it goes, sometimes the same cock doesn't fit.

 

I feel I'm "relaxed" but I'm not always able to accomodate my playmate. Any other women have this problem?

 

LM

 

At first my wife was intimidated by my buddy Paul's 9 incher. But she'd been curious for so long that her curiosity got the better of her. So did our Paul's 9 incher.

[sugar&spice 15]

By now you probably got that "size intimidation" experience past you. You got exceptionally great advise here. Acknowledging a potential problem prior to an encounter is always the first step towards defusing it and seeing a possible solution. Remember that in swinging, ultimate success lies in how well you both grew closer through the outcome (whether considered positive or negative). Hope you understand that no matter what the outcome was for you, there was also one for her (and it's not always the same for both). It will always be that way (different issues with you or her) with each encounter (whether it someone new or someone you have played with before). The challenge, intrigue, and exploring new frontiers adds spice to our lives. Treat each encounter as a unique situation, discuss possible issues (fears, problems, expectations, etc) prior to and then have an "after action report" to build up on the excitement or difuse/correct any new unexpected issues that came up. Strive to make your bond grow stronger with each new encounter. The sex, communication, and relationship will get better and better and better (that's why we swing). Welcome to the Lifestyle.

[Some4mealot4her 15]

Agree w/ most posts...I'm above average I hope...all this "average" talk...what the heck is AVERAGE? 6"? I am a shade under 8" long fully erect (everything shrinks w/ age!) and a shade over 2" in girth. My wife and I click like nothing else...Period.

 

Still, I love watching her take in and on even bigger manhood because it's not what I WANT...but what SHE wants. And I like watching her get fucked good and hard, by men who know how to make the bigger boat in the ocean make the bigger and better motion! Once she was gulping a friend of mine's 12+" incher and when he inserted it and we switched...she (and we) found out what her tolerance was. Anything over 10" and she can't physically get it all in her.

She likes getting fucked hard by an above average to large male cock. She can 'feel' the 5.5" and less still but like it was said before...what's the point. She has conditioned herself to "take it on"...and now she wants to explore 4 men and two women. It's all good. It's just sex. Not love.

 

Hey DYNAMAR!! Indiana?? We're just east of FORT WAYNE!