STDs and the RAW score

I found this very interesting article by an author named Mark Manson, 'Your Honest-To-God Guide to STDs.' It’s at https://markmanson.net/std-guide It’s a good read, and I found it to be reasonable. (I don’t promise it’s accurate to the nth degree, though.)

He talks about the various STDs, their effects on you if you get it, and a few statistics. Then he gives his RAW score, an *average* of how many different partners you would need to have *unprotected* penis in vagina sex with to catch that disease. Here it is:

CHLAMYDIA - 36 partners

GONORRHEA - 179 partners

SYPHILIS - 1,841 partners

HPV - 4 partners

GENITAL HERPES - 13 partners

HIV - 1,250 partners

Now, I’m not advocating unprotected sex here. In fact, my advice is to wear a condom each and every time. For example, the risk of catching gonorrhea is low - but you could beat the odds and catch it the first time! The RAW score is just an average.

Let the debate begin. Play nice, kiddies.

This is an interesting document, Mr. adamgunn, so I'm happy you brought it to my attention. I have one comment. The odds for people who engage in swing activity are almost certainly not the same as for people of the general population. I do firmly believe that swing people are much more likely to alert their sex partners when they learn that they have "caught something". This has the effect of limiting transmission to others.

HPV is as common as the cold. Few swingers discuss it, but it is rampant. Condoms don’t necessarily stop it. Fortunately, regular OB/GYN care will track it. And there is now a vaccine.

Vaccines will HELP prevent HPV, but it's not a surefire way not to contract it. There is testing to see if vaccines will help those who have already contracted it, but there's no cure for HPV, and nothing stops wart growth yet. If there is an article out there to prove me wrong, I'd love to see it.

The RAW score is just an average.

It's not even an average. It's a number pulled out of thin air to sell books.

I am hardly an alarmist, but I think the most positive thing I can say about the "statistics" (I use the term generously here), on that site, is that if he ever took a statistics course, he is owed a refund.

The bigger question is how many partners have your swing partners been with. We have been with primarily one couple and a few times with others, about eight partners. I think we are the least active of all of these couples. The numbers multiply exponentially as if each of the people we play with have played with a dozen others and if those couples played with even more people and so on and so on.

I am checked once a year in an annual gyn exam and so far nothing has shown up. I wonder if we would be warned if someone we played with was positive.

I agree with those who have posted about HPV. The unfortunate thing is it really only impacts women. Men infect women but they themselves never really know because of a lack of a test for them. Time for that to change. Lol

HPV is highly sexually transmittable and 90% of us, men and women will get it. But only women will get cervical cancer.

It is a terribly scary thing to go through as a woman to be told you have an abnormal pap and go through the weeks of wondering and testing to find out.

Condoms don’t prevent it but lessens the risk. Oral, genital touching and penetration all can give you HPV.

My sister just went through the nightmare and knows I am in the lifestyle she was quick to let me know.

So my advice... always use a condom, limit play with only those you really like and trust, teach your men they transmit HPV and are a big part of the problem and ladies the biggest of all, get annual Pap smears.

It is a known fact that the more sexually partners you have the more likely you are to get and pass on HPV. And this virus can lay dormant in a woman’s cervix for decades and then decide to rear its ugly head.

So please be aware.

That is my 2 cents worth.

I agree with those who have posted about HPV. The unfortunate thing is it really only impacts women. Men infect women but they themselves never really know because of a lack of a test for them. Time for that to change. Lol

HPV is highly sexually transmittable and 90% of us, men and women will get it. But only women will get cervical cancer.

It is a terribly scary thing to go through as a woman to be told you have an abnormal pap and go through the weeks of wondering and testing to find out.

Condoms don’t prevent it but lessens the risk. Oral, genital touching and penetration all can give you HPV.

My sister just went through the nightmare and knows I am in the lifestyle she was quick to let me know.

So my advice... always use a condom, limit play with only those you really like and trust, teach your men they transmit HPV and are a big part of the problem and ladies the biggest of all, get annual Pap smears.

It is a known fact that the more sexually partners you have the more likely you are to get and pass on HPV. And this virus can lay dormant in a woman’s cervix for decades and then decide to rear its ugly head.

So please be aware.

That is my 2 cents worth.

All of this post is valid except the notion that only women suffer consequences of HPV infection. In a conversation yesterday with a friend who is a physician and former health official, he noted that HPV vies with smoking as the greatest causes of oral cancer. That deadly disease of course affects both men and women.

All of this post is valid except the notion that only women suffer consequences of HPV infection. In a conversation yesterday with a friend who is a physician and former health official, he noted that HPV vies with smoking as the greatest causes of oral cancer. That deadly disease of course affects both men and women.

You are absolutely correct and I missed stating that. I think there is the misperception that it is a woman’s disease and the men in our lives are often oblivious to it in how it impacts them and their partners. I think we all need to raise awareness.

There are over 100 viruses associated with HPV. Aside from cervical cancer untreated HPV in the mucus membranes of the nose, throat, & rectum may eventually evolve into cancer. Its not certain, but there is a possibility. Also anal intercourse is not necessary for the HPV viruses to create rectal warts/infection.

Finally note that any warts on the body are HPV related viruses. Best to have a dermatologist remove them at the earliest opportunity. This includes 'flat warts' which can be similar to non HPV Keretosis on the skin. A simple 'freeze can remove many warts. Assorted chemical treatments work well too. Cauterization seems to be out of fashion for most warts, tho my dermatologist says she still does it in certain cases.

Since skin cancers can be very invasive & deadly a annual visit to the dermatologist for inspection should be standard, and wart removal part of the visit.

I think this is a very valuable thread to read over.   I'm surprised it didn't get more attention.

I'm a proponent of going bare most of the time (not in clubs, and not for anal.... hardly ever), but that damn HPV!

I'm under 45 and will get the vaccine, but I've probably been exposed already having had vaginal intercourse with about 40 partners to date. 

I've known a couple of women in the poly community in a big city have HPV on their cervix (both cleared in a couple of years).  They had the same boyfriend for a little while.  He was bare with one of them, and used a condom with the other.

Otherwise, in my years of non-monogamy, the moment someone has a symptom, partners are notified and and extra safety is taken till more info is given about the outbreak.  Other than that HPV, I've rarely heard of a spread.   It's been just individuals that have had HSV for years, and not passed it on.

I had a ureaplasma infection recently.  I think I caught it receiving oral.  That's one that is rarely tested for in the US, and isn't always considered an sti, sort of like a yeast infection isn't.   Ureaplasma is on us already, but a person with high levels can pass that on as an infection.   Like, tag..... you're it.......

Since my post four years ago in this thread, three women we know well from swinging underwent hysterectomies due to persistent HPV infections. Despite all the hubbub against vaccines, I think getting the HPV vaccine series seems like a no brainer for swingers/ polyamorous people. 

3 hours ago, generouswife said:

Pregnancies yes but so far no STDs.

Not surprising.  Our bodies try to avoid disease, but achieve reproduction. 

3 hours ago, generouswife said:

I've only ever gone bare

Me too.  It doesn't make sense to me with a condom or on the outside of my body.

As our poly family was beginning to form, Clair, despite being on birth control, got pregnant with my husband's child.  (She wasn't fucking Red at this point.)  We decided that it was not a bad time to start having children and Clair and I wanted to go through pregnancy together.  So I went pot luck with both my men.  It was for me psychologically the best sex I have ever had, two men competing to get me pregnant. 

5 hours ago, couplers said:

It was for me psychologically the best sex I have ever had, two men competing to get me pregnant. 

Petra, over the course of a long life and a couple of decades of swinging/ENM I’ve had more different sorts of sexual experiences than I care to recall. By a wide margin the hottest sex I’ve had has been intentionally procreative sex (serially) with all of my three wives. Not only was the fucking itself incredibly powerful, but my libido just wouldn’t quit. When trying to make a baby with any of them, I was hot for them all the time. Just looking at them I wanted to mount up. And even after they became pregnant I was still super hot to fuck them.

17 hours ago, PeterJ said:

When trying to make a baby with any of them, I was hot for them all the time.

And that's what gets me excited even though I'm on birth control - having a man's (actually several men's) sperm swimming around in me.  Even after I'm clean and fresh, some have gotten so deep into uterus and fallopian tubes that they will live for days. 

Interesting thread to have come back to life.

I've also mostly gone bare, and -knock on wood- I've never gotten anything. I tested regularly when I was active (haven't been for some time), and just listened to this spidey-sense about who to have sex with. I've been with a number of women who have HSV, but they're on valtrex, or it's been decades since they had an outbreak. In any case, I never got it. It's inevitable I spread HPV--I'm too old to get anyone to give me the vax--but I haven't spread anything else. Well, except pregnancy. 😋

The primary "risk" of going bare for me has been pregnancy, not STDs. It's so much more powerful, sensual, overwhelming to go bare and know I could be starting or growing a family.